Second Dates Are Second Rate

by Horse Words

Daisy Sandwiches and Medium Size Hay Fries

“Well I’m glad that your first date went so well,” Rarity said as she added a chiffon layer on her latest dress creation.

“It was more than well –” Dash had to slightly duck away from the needle at work, Rarity chastising her for it. “It was awesome.

“Yes, yes, that’s very endearing to hear.” Rarity turned around to look for a scroll of fabric to match the blush pink base – preferably a Tuscany yellow but a basic gold could work as well. “But do tell me, what’s the plans for your second date?”

“Oh, we just agreed to grab some daisy sandwiches in between our lunch breaks.” And while Dash prided herself on being great at reading ponies, she couldn’t decipher if the face Rarity was making was because of what Dash said or because they ran out of some kind of fabric.

Most likely the latter.

“You. Agreed. To do what?!” Rarity said – or at least that’s what Dash guessed because she wasn’t really enunciating the words clearly through her dramatic gasps.

“I said we both agreed to grab lunch, specifically daisy sandwiches, during our lunch breaks. We were supposed to go see that live show where they tame deadly beasts, but our schedules clashed so I guess I’m going with Fluttershy. Unless you wanna go?”

Collecting herself, Rarity fixed her mane and adjusted her sewing glasses. “Okay, so it’s not too bad, we can still salvage this relationship. You were smart to dodge the whole ‘live action show’, but sandwiches? Darling, are you in your right mind?”

“Are you?”

“Love, I’m telling you this because I – well, love you – but your second date is one of, if not the, most crucial moment in one’s relationship.”

Dash hopped off the dressing podium. “Uh, wouldn’t that be the first date? I mean you’re literally basing your whole future relationship on that.”

Rarity let out a laugh that sounded a lot more like how Fluttershy screams.

“You could not be more incorrect! First dates are like introductions, when you get to know each other formally. Accordingly, by the third date you’ve known each other long enough to relax and be yourself. But the second?” Another short laugh-slash-Fluttershy-scream. “Its a grey area of formality and familiarity. One misstep and you can say adieu to any future chance.”

Dash raised her eyebrow skeptically. “Yeah, okay, sure Rarity.”

“Trust me, I’ve been in how many relationships before?”

“And how many have lasted?”

Rainbow, being good at reading ponies, could tell Rarity was holding back accidentally dropping needles on Rainbow. “Because of a bad second date. Thank you for proving my point.”

Magically picking up the discarded dress Rarity gave her friend one last advice, “Just make sure he pays for the meal, if the prospect of the relationship is so low, the least you can get out of it is a free meal.”

Obviously, Rainbow Dash was not convinced and had to go to a reliable-er(?) source.

Meaning she went to the library to ask Twilight what she knew about second dates

---

Twilight didn’t have any personal experience per se, but she did have a book conveniently named “The Long-Haul of Love: How to Make Any Meaningful Romantic Relationship Last” – so yes, she knew what she was talking about when she told Rainbow Dash that Rarity was absolutely correct.

Munching on the last of snack that Spike made, Rainbow crossed her hoofs. “But really? Like how sure are you?”

“I’m certain that second dates are far more imperative in regards to fragility and prospects of relationships as compared to first. However, it being the most important is debatable – the book does say that its up to the person to determine what is truly important – it is a deal breaker.”

Spike – who, to be fair, had no place in saying anything about dating seeing as he has failed every attempt to get one with Rarity – tried to console his friend by saying that Soarin probably likes daisy sandwiches. Although not as much as he likes pies according to the ‘fun facts’ portion on Spike’s Wonderbolt calendar.

“Personally, I’m a gem kind of guy, but daisies are great too.”

“Thank you for that insight, Spike. Now have you dusted the books between section H-L in the ‘Brews and Potions’ section?” When he responded he did not, Twilight said something along the lines of distractions is the core of procrastination, both crimes in this household.

Groaning, Rainbow Dash couldn’t ignore what was right in front of her, no matter how absurd it still seemed to her. Floating back and forth she asked her friend what seemed to be the best measure to take. Twilight suggested that while she couldn’t change where they were going, she could change her approach.

“Be aloof but stay attentive to the conversation,” Twilight read from her book. “Be available and ready to be personal but don’t overshare. Find a safe balance between being friends and being lovers.”

Which could make sense to somepony, just not to Rainbow Dash. So instead of asking Twilight for more enlightenment because she had no idea what she just said, Dash decided the best course of action would be ‘napping on it’. Which she did. And, spoiler alert: it didn’t help.

---

Which is why on Wednesday during her lunch break, Rainbow Dash was sitting on the edge of her stool carefully choosing the best hay fry out of her small serving to consume. Soarin, as well, tried to choose the best fry out of his bunch. Very strange for him, she thought.

Speaking of strange things, Soarin brought her a present when she was pretty sure this was a casual thing, y’know, if that was possible for a second date. It would really help if Twilight’s dumb book said something about that because while she did get a cool Wonderbolt’s pin, she had to give him one of the small chocolates she stole from the weather factory’s front desk as a small snack for later.

She also wished she had a list of appropriate conversation topics, because as much as she loved to talk, all of her starters happened to revolve around herself – and that could allude to the whole ‘oversharing’ thing. But then not talking makes it seem she wasn’t interested in the date, which she was, just not so much with what was happening right now. Right now was boring.

“I finished that ‘Daring Do’ book I was reading last time we hung out.” Still about herself but not entirely. Progress?

“The one where Daring Do had to steal the Carbonara Staff from Ahuizotl's pack of griffons?”

She winces at his mistake; it was still cute that he remembered the book somewhat. “Connemara staff, and yes! And you won’t believe what happened at the end.”

Soarin’s face soured, then unsoured, then soured again until he finally told her that he didn’t really remember the plot too well, so it would be a waste. Which she wasn’t going to lie, kind of offended her because it was one of the best endings to the Daring Do franchise to date. Could probably be put against the likes of The Great Gallopsy or whatever book Twilight was trying to make her read all the time.

Motioning to the platter in front of her, Soarin asked about her food.

“I usually eat the diet meals the academy provides but since we’re on a field day here we have the freedom of eating whatever we want.”

“Yeah, this beats the glump they serve at the factory big time.”

And the conversation sort of slumped there. Was food not second date material? When was food not date material?

“So, uh,” Soarin spoke after the silence got the best of both of them, “how’s work?”

“The same I guess,” Dash said, “I mean I may make the job look easy, but it’s so much more exhausting than you think. Especially when it’s rainy season, like this one time Thunderlane tried to deal with four at a time but instead of gathering them they duplicated. Honestly, I still don’t understand how but that’s not the point. The point is me and Cloud Chaser had to – uh…”

“What? What did you have to do?”

Not oversharing was hard – but was she? “Uh, nothing. Just collected them and dispose of the clouds normally.”

Soarin shifted, but at least he didn’t accuse her of oversharing. “Yeah, I get what you mean about work being exhausting. We have this routine that we need to master by the end of next week but it’s one of the hardest we’ve done. Fleetfoot and I have to do this triple loop and Surprise needs to fly straight though the loops, but we keep on crashing. The problem we think is that –” pausing, Soarin quickly dismissed the thought, “the problem is, uh, it’s just not working.”

“Right.”

Taking another bite from her sandwich, Dash was definitely not enjoying herself. But she should, right? She had tons of fun on her first date.

But this date sucked. Not even her favorite combo of daisy sandwich and medium size hay fries could make this better. She wished she didn’t have to be so cautious of everything – it’s not like it’s helping the date go along any better.

Wait. Hold that thought.

The date already sucks, so Dash didn’t see the point of trying anymore. Not like anything she does now would make any of this worse right (right!)? This date was a bust – probably that break part in the make-or-break phrase – so might as well throw the whole ‘safe balance between friend and lover’ out the window.

“Actually, we didn’t just round them up.” As soon as she spoke Soarin looked up from his plate, his eyes and ears ready. “All right, so first I had Cloud Chaser block the clouds from spreading by speeding around them. And then as they closed into each other I carefully – but awesomely – sky dove into them. Pretty impressive if I do say so myself.”

“You tell me.”

“I just did.”

“Actually, that reminds me of this one time…” in which Soarin proceeded to tell the story of Blaze dressing up as Spitfire for one of the work parties they had. And her impression was so spot on Spitfire thought that Blaze would be able to properly fill out the countless paperwork sitting on the boss’s desk.

And even though the first fifteen minutes of the date was torture, the last ten were great. So maybe not a bust?

“Can I confess something?” Soarin asked sheepishly. Rainbow nodded; if he overshares its not her fault the relationship suddenly implodes from it. “At first, I was really nervous because – and this may sound embarrassing – but a few of my teammates told me how important the second date was and all these rules and –”

“And you didn’t want to mess up anything because despite it sounding ridiculous apparently it’s a make or break situation and you didn’t want it to be a break?”

Soarin nodded, “So, are you also a mind reader?”

“Not only that, but my friends told me the exact same thing.”

This made so much more sense. Soarin talking less, actually not blundering about his newest building block models, and more importantly not caring about ‘Daring Do’. That was definitely a deal breaker in any relationship.

“Which now that we’re being honest, I really do want to know what happens next.” And though Dash was super psyched with how excited he sounded thought it was more appropriate for him to read it instead, as a little punishment for the crime of disrespecting ‘Daring Do’ like that.

And as even though things were cleared the question still remained, was the date a good one? Technically it wasn’t, if they were being real. But they did both admit they weren’t being themselves which counteracted that. Right?

“You know what this means?” Dash didn’t, and she sure hoped it wasn’t that they had to stop seeing each other because Soarin was pretty easy to get along with. Soarin paused, then dropped his head. “Yeah, me neither, I just thought you’d know.”

And because there was literally only three minutes until her lunch break was over she thought it was a good idea to bluntly ask because, while she wasn’t sure about how lenient Soarin’s schedule could be, Dash already had been late four times and one more could mean she’d face consequences. And she didn’t like consequences.

But mostly, Dash is the all-or-nothing kind of pony. “So…was this date a make or break?”

“Well, I heard that there was this baking contest at Sugarcube Corner, and whoever wins gets a month of free cupcakes.”

“But I don’t know how to bake.”

“Neither do I, but free food is the best motivator.”

“And I guess I am really good at cheating.”

“So, it’s a date.”

“Great,” Rainbow Dash clapped her hooves, “so, who’s paying? I’m saying you because you do get paid more and it is the second date. Plus I did forget my wallet back at work so there isn't really much of an option.”

Author's Note:

Soarin did pay in the end by the way, but he didn't really have a choice.

Comments

[Forgetful]

I found this to be pretty cute, so we'll done.

[TheManehattanite]

Are the changing tenses a style thing, or...?

[LucarioFan2066]

it's like the rules of feminism.

Really? Ugh. You just killed any interest I had in reading this. Feminism is a poison, spreading throughout society; it has led to numerous suicides and numerous ruined lives - almost every one of them male. There's a reason why there's a difference between "feminism" and "egalitarianism" - because feminism only cares about boosting women's power, men be damned.

How many male lives have been shattered by mere claims, accusations, allegations and implications of assault and/or harassment made by women - without due legal process, without the presumption of innocence, without the men being able to defend themselves or offer their own point of view? How many women have gotten away with assault, abuse, and harassment, due to men being afraid to speak up afterwards? How many men have been robbed of their children, due to spiteful ex-wives?

Is it any wonder why fewer men are dating, forming relationships? Is it any wonder men are now refusing to mentor or work alongside younger female employees? Is it any wonder the gap between men and women is growing?

When men can be accused of "sexism" or "misogyny" for being chivalrous, for doing basic things we've always been raised to do such as opening doors for women or pulling chairs out for them, that's when it's blatantly obvious feminism has gone way too far and needs to be labelled a terrorist movement dead-set on wrecking society.

[Shrinky Frod]

10301098
Uhm... Dude?

Chill.

Leaving aside the diatribe, what about a comedy with a title that directly contradicts the "rule of feminism" mentioned makes you think that the story is going to do anything other than take the piss out of that concept?

[Horse Words]

10301098
I was just quoting 'Mean Girls' but go off I guess.

[Horse Words]

10300973
A bit yes. If it was confusing, so I'll try my best to develop a better way to execute it next time.

[PapierSam]

10301098
Aww, tiny manchild seems pressed. Is it any wonder you wasted away typing paragraphs with no relevantly statistical content on a harmless pony fanfic?

That waste of space aside, cute story author. Ngl second dates are kinda important

[RainbowManedPegasus]

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

[Starsong Shine]

That was a cute story. I love it!

[CrystalDiamond]

This was very cute, well done!

[Wild Stallion]

Great story! Loved the very casual relationship between Rainbow Dash and Soaring. Just perfect.

10301098
I understand where you coming from, but I read through this and there's not a hint of feminism as a ideology anywhere in it.

I mean Rainbow Dash asks Soaring to pay for the meal but that is as far as it goes.

You free to still ignore it of course, but you might be missing out on a great story.

[Ice Star]

10301181
Keep doing what you do; it's cute.
10301098
This has absolutely no bearing on the story whatsoever. Save political comments for political stories. Comments are also supposed to reflect the story's rating and referencing rape and suicide don't belong on an E-rated story.

[KittyrinnAiko]

10307350
Guys paying for the meal was normal and expected prior to feminism. Men were expected to "take care" of women. From a more modern way of thinking, Dash is at fault for not bringing any money with her because it put Soarin in an awkward situation where he has no choice in the matter if he wants to continue the relationship.

[Wild Stallion]

10332796
I felt compelled to warn him about anything he might interpret as being feministic, since i didn't really want to come back to the comment, and have to explain the differences between feminism, as it's been defined throughout the ages.