Kingdom hearts: Friendship is Magic.

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Kingdom hearts and ponies.
Scootaloo with a keyblade.
Stars going out in the sky.
What's not to love?

Chapters (2)

Comments ( 8 )

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Strumfreak

Strumfreak #1 · Sep 25th, 2012 · · · New Beginnings ·

Many typos.
For one your description

[strike]k[/strike]ingdom hearts and[strike] ponys.[/strike]
[strike]s[/strike]cootaloo with a keyblade.
[strike]s[/strike]tars going out in the sky
[strike]whats[/strike] not to love?

Should be:
Kingdom hearts and ponies.
Scootaloo with a keyblade.
Stars going out in the sky.
What's not to love?

Apart from some minor things, Sweetie Belle's name is Sweetie Belle, not Sweetiebell, and you often forgot to Capatalise the D in Dash (it's still part of Rainbow's name. I won't give you a thumbs down, but until these mistakes improve, don't expect a thumbs up either.

Zman537

Zman537 #2 · Sep 25th, 2012 · · · Gateway to a new world. ·

There are also pacing, and transition issues during and when closing chapters. I recommend getting an editor to help fix these and the typos mentioned earlier.

That or a good re-write is in order.

DelphiDovahkiin

DelphiDovahkiin #3 · Sep 27th, 2012 · · · New Beginnings ·

1336637
Balls to you, I liked it!

Strumfreak

Strumfreak #4 · Sep 27th, 2012 · · · Gateway to a new world. ·

1346003 I didn't say I didn't, but the mistakes make it less entertaining to read.
He seems to have fixed quite a few things though, so I shall give him another shot.

butterfield pancake