• Member Since 3rd Aug, 2015
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Perfectly Insane


I've been writing for, like, 8 years, and I still don't know what I'm doing. https://ko-fi.com/perfectlyinsane

Comments ( 181 )

When you see your real name in the description.

:pinkiegasp: ...:rainbowhuh: ...:twilightoops: ...:pinkiehappy:

*Puts it in RiL*

Perfectly Insane
Moderator

10228988
I actually used the name because one of my friends is named Jason, though personality wise its nothing like him.

Nice, there are some interesting questions to be asked here, like:
Is diane a total separate entity or is it just pinkie unwinding
If the former, how do they interact, like, do they remember each other's memories
Anyways
Rlly liked this concept :rainbowkiss:
Godspeed

Perfectly Insane
Moderator

10229043
Everything will make sense in due time, it wouldn't be interesting if everything was revealed at the start.

10229055

1. Pretty good start. :pinkiesmile:
- a.) Did not see any glaring writing errors on the first read-through.
- b.) A hearty Word Count is generally a positive sign, it shows you invested [time + effort] into your work.

2. A friendly point-out, you should also Source Link your cover-image: pinkamena, by DeviantArt(ist) Ta-Na. Doing so respects the fan-artists' works & efforts, and also gives you respectability as well. As the old saying goes, "Give respect, to gain Respect."

Perfectly Insane
Moderator

10229147
Thank you, I will do just that. I usually would love to give credit to the artists of the images I use, but it isn't always easy to find it.

This is an interesting incarnation of Pinkie/Pinkamena/"Diane".

Even with pathos being "Diane's" predominant thing, she still feels enough like Pinkie where it matters, laughing and making jokes.

“So, what’s your name, stranger?” She said as she tried to make her voice deeper, like she was mocking someone.

Bit tell-y at times, what with the main character also being the narrator, but I'm enjoying the story.
I'm actually surprised at how impatient I feel, wanting to see what happens next.

Is "Diane" just an alias Pinkie chose on the spot for this new friend? Somebody with whom she can indulge a part of herself that she can't with anybody else?
Will she have juggle these two lives at school?
Will Jacob realize what's going on when "Diane" is sporting a different hairstyle and demeanor?

Whatever actually ends up happening, I'm very eager to see where this goes.
Thanks for sharing your story here.

The comments seem good and the likes look great. You'll be put in the read later. Once there's a good few chapters then I'll read

Perfectly Insane
Moderator

10229181
You can not even comprehend how worried I was no one was going to get that reference, since I made it so obscure. And you're right, the spin of Pinkie and Pinkamena has been done a lot. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore Pinkamena as a concept and have written multiple stories with that idea in mind. But even I can admit that the premise has been done to death, so I decided to try something different. I'm taking a lot of risk with this story and doing a lot of things I've never done, and right now, I'm trying to do it the best I can.

And also slightly hoping I get my first featured story, even if for a moment.

Damn! This is awesome! Can't wait for more

Not sure what I expected, but this was not it.

And I'm ok with that.

~Skeeter The Lurker

10229156
Fair enough. :ajsmug:

Fortunately, I know the one you used well, DeviantArt(ist) Ta-Na has done many amazing (& sexy) fan-art works (not just MLP:FiM).

When a new story is posted in Pinkamena: Yay! :pinkiehappy:

When said story is Mature: Aww! :pinkiesad2:

I have to say I like the direction this story is going.

Perfectly Insane
Moderator

10229195
Would love to hear what you think when you do. :twilightsmile:

Oooo I like the direction you are taking with pinkie and Diane split personality sort of thing.

Applejack was a very southern looking pony, she had light blonde hair tied in a pony tail that goes down to her back, wearing a tan cowboy hat on her head matched with emerald green eyes and three white freckles on each of her cheeks. She was wearing a light white button up shirt with the upper part of it being green, a brown belt with a red apple as the buckle went around her waist. Wearing a blue skirt with pockets on the front that went down to just above her knees, big cowboy boots with red apples on the front.

Got the wrong species there, buddy:derpytongue2::derpytongue2:

I’m liking the fact that you used one of Pinkies alter egos
And for that you got me hooked


realized that when I triggered a boner in my cock:twilightblush:

Well I'm hooked lets see where it goes from here

“Anyway, I saw that she brought you to meet her other friends, what’d you think of them? Any of them you’re interested in?”

Why is he not asking how she could see him, but he couldn't find her? Even when looking for her. I mean he practically blends into the crowd, whereas she is one of the only two bright pink people in the entire town, she would literally stick out like a sore thumb.

“Explain to me why you want to be frenefits. I told you how important this was to me, and I don’t want to put you on the spot like this, but I need you to tell me why. And, while I’m at it,”

“Look me in the eyes when you tell me. No more of your ‘fake eye contact by looking between the eyes’ either, I’ve done that enough times myself to be able to tell when someone else is. I get that eye contact makes you uncomfortable, and I swear this is the only time I’ll ask this of you, but eye contact is the best way for me to tell someone’s honesty.”

Sounds like she has been betrayed more then a few times.

“You should probably let me handle stuff like that, I’m more experienced and that’s how I prefer it.”

Does she prefer being in charge because she has been betrayed to many times?

“Something you might like to know about me," “I’m really good with my mouth, and I mean more than just kissing.”

That sounds like something a prostitute would say.

“You can touch me however you like, whenever you like. There’s nothing you can do to me that would bother me, I promise. And even if you did, I know this is a learning experience for you, so it isn’t like you would be intentionally trying to. Just...do what comes to mind, enjoy yourself, k?”

Is she saying that because she has become almost desensitised to it?

“You came more than I thought you would, but that was your first time, so I can’t be too surprised.”

That sounds like slut grade praise.

“Oh...a girl has her ways, I’m very... experienced, shall we say.”

Experienced? what makes her so experienced. and when a female says 'a girl has her ways' isn't the most compromising, provocative option usually the correct one

“Anyway, I really should get going. I’m sorry we didn’t get to talk very much, but I’ve kind of been a bit excited and kind of got caught up. But you’re all tuckered out and I have to get up early to meet someone about something.”

Meet who about what? I'm very concerned.

“I...don’t have a phone, or any kind of social media. It's...bad for me, for my self esteem, among other things. Sorry, it's nothing against you.”

Did someone find out she was a part time prostitute and use that as blackmail material, and in tern ruin her social life?

I know that Diane said she doesn't sleep around, but that might not have always been the case, after all only adult women, whores, sluts, escorts and prostitutes have that much Experience right, not a high-school girl right.

‘ Just be careful, alright? I think I have an idea of who Diane is, and if I’m right, she’s not who you think she is.’

Oh what Pinkie, you invade someones mind as a split personality, lock them away and take over their life, and when you're ready you acknowledge them, and when they don't meet your standards, They are the evil one and you purge them from their own mind.

Do you think that's okey, Do you feel your actions are just, How can you sleep at night knowing that you all but killed the owner of that body you're wearing, How can you live with your self knowing that you are a replacement for someone you killed.

Maybe that's why Diane hates you, you are wearing her body like a puppet

This is getting really interesting!

‘ Just be careful, alright? I think I have an idea of who Diane is, and if I’m right, she’s not who you think she is.’

oh. So it's Flutters then. ok

The only issue I have so far with this story is how much he spilled to the random group of girls he met for the first time. That was so SOD shattering that I had to stop reading for a bit. Like, that level of shy awkwardness feels like it would have been semi-paralyzed by the attention of so many girls at once, not spilling his guts about a very personal encounter at the drop of a hat to strangers. It felt like a kind of betrayal, to be honest. You just don't TALK about that kind of thing/offer to people you don't explicitly trust, if at all.

This is really good but I dont like how the coming chapters are being projected. It's not looking good for him and Diane at all unless her and pinkie can somehow be split up. Its pinkie during the day and diane at night and they obviously know each other and hold bad feelings for each other.

Perfectly Insane
Moderator

10265956
I can't help but agree with you, in retrospect, I could have handled that better. I do feel like I was doing a good job of staying consistent with his character before that and after that, but that scene was a mess up on my part. I promise you I am trying to write this story the best I can, and hopefully won't do something like that again, I only aim to improve.

Perfectly Insane
Moderator

10285728
It might not be as simple as you think.

Perfectly Insane
Moderator

10233379
I've seen/written a lot, and I mean a lot, of Pinkie and Pinkamena stuff. Not saying I don't love it to death, because I absolutely do. But I wanted to try something a bit different and a bit less...grimdark? Sad? Something like that. That split personality concept has always been interesting to me, and I always thought that the premise of a guy falling for the two separate personalities of one girl could work as a very interesting romance stories.

I'm not the best at writing romance or clops, or writing in general tbh, but I'm giving it my best shot.

Going to guess they're the same person but Pinkie doesn't know it. Diane may know it, given the distaste of Pinkie.

I look forward to finding out.

I thought Diane didn't have a phone?

Anyway, I'm enjoying it. The hook that Pinkie has disassociative identity disorder is obvious but hey, it's still a fun ride.

10333475
In my opinion? Most likely. It'd explain the similarities between them and why Pinkie never can find her. Also how she can go to the same school as Pinkie and nobody having seen her before.

10228988
Its too bad my name is spelt Jayson 😣 it sucks have a weirdly spelt name, between never seeing my name in a fanfic or growing up never finding my name on the keyrings at truckstops

Hate to be that guy but you may want to change his age. Sex scenes between human minors is against site rules.
https://www.fimfiction.net/rules Under do not post: Sexual content involving human/anthro characters under the age of 18.

Perfectly Insane
Moderator

10347069
I did not realize it was. Yeah I can quickly fix that, thank you.

I'm so fucking invested in this story!!!

Comment posted by pendrake72 deleted Jul 28th, 2020
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