Too much talking back and forth.

But Dinky must ask what must be asked!

I love the idea

One way you can break up all the talking back and forth a bit is to explain a little more in detail what they are doing while talking.

Other than that, this seems a story worth keeping an eye on. Poor Doctor; finally a girl but still not ginger.

This is brilliant. Please, do continue.

YES.

>>11441471144147

Rude and not ginger

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png

>>11441471144147

Still not ginger! And now Ditzy has been left behind, and so suddenly. D:

Well, this is going to be something I'll be keeping up with. It's very entertaining and well written, I love it so far.

How fast do you update your stories?

QUESTION! *hoof up*

The Doctor only regenerates when he is deathly injured. What happened to him to cause the sudden regeneration?

Hoho, I like it.

Just needs a little fleshing out - add idle actions so everyone seems like they're moving about while they talk, and perhaps give a reason why the doctor has to regenerate. (IIRC, he doesn't just regenerate for shits and giggles, he does it because he's taken a mortal wound of some sort. Perhaps a stray cyberpony shot, the wound for which he's hidden under his coat and only reveals when he kicks Ditzy out?)

This is getting interesting. I don't know why i just feel drawn to stories where a characters gender is changed.

Might want to change the chapter title to Am I a Mare?

Not girl.

ALSO, It's finally here!

This is awesome

Edit: HOLY SHIT IT'S IN THE FEATURE BOX!

Needs some proof reding and revision. Great idea though. Liked and favorited

LOL, I'm a read this later,

but it makes me think of this, fast forward to 17:00 for relevant part, I mean yeah the whole things good believe me but min. 17 is the most relevant.

Oh hey I just post this and when the page is refreshed guess whats in the featured box!

>>11443921144392

zacktronic energy discharge?

Interests have been peaked. Continue

Mother of Celestia, this is interesting.

aaaakwaard! still awsome story! great to see dinky/pip shipping can't wait to see more

U need to make this a story with many chapters

I expect great things from this fic. GREAT THINGS!

>>11441841144184

That is awesome lol

Awesome! This is great and I can't wait to read more!

I have been watching waaaaay too much of this show over the summer. But that means I can follow along.

THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING FIC I'VE READ THIS SUMMER!!!!   I'ME RAGING WITH HAPPINESS!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for bringing this into my life.

So I guess that when she meets Ditzy, it'll be like when 10 met Sarah Jane in School Reunion. And still not ginger.

>>11443261144326

I try to update one per day, but usually end up two per week.

>>11443261144326

I try to update one per day, but usually end up two per week.>>11443921144392 Well then, you'll just have to wait for the story to continue!

>>11455791145579 No no really, they were just talking and then he was all "oh crap I'm dying, OUT YOU GO Derpy baiiii!"

Regens are supposed to be the most dramatic stage of a Who's cycle... D:

>>11443261144326

I try to update one per day, but usually end up two per week.>>11443921144392 Well then, you'll just have to wait for the story to continue!>>11447591144759 It probably won't be longer than five or six chapters, but MIGHT have multiple sequels if requested enough!

I think I just broke the comment thing because I didn't delete previous ones

Wow, I was third comment in and now you're all the way up on the feature box a few hours later. Good for you, this has some potential. Just work on breaking up some of those long streaks of dialogue with some action and reminders of who is talking and you should be fine

Out of control A.I's...

Sounds interesting, and I'll be watching...

This story is going to be AWESOME!

What I have just read, is one of the most interesting first chapters i have ever seen.

Everyone who has read this now has a giant smile on their faces.

May celestia rest their tired mouth muscles.

Pipsqueak, age seven: Strange pony breaks into house; instantly starts interrogating her.

Pipsqueak=Boss

>>11457551145755 True dat bro.

And then, It's time for the next generation to save Equestria, ALLONS-Y- I mean ANDIAMO!

>>11444481144448 The name is 'Am I a girl?' because it is a reference to when David Tennant regenerated into Matt Smith and yells, "Am I a girl?"

>>11456071145607 Seriously I think everypony who writes doctor whooves stories hate me cause they takee FOREVER to update! Just want to make sure

That was brilliant, I loved it. Moar please. Thank you in advance <3

>>11459451145945 Sorry! Working on three fics at once, one not being updated due to lack of information anywhere ever, and another just being plain terrible, yet recieving requests to continue, and this one because I need to update the other two.

I have never seen Dr. Hooves, but this is an enjoyable fic none the less. Please make more.

>>11460131146013

That's bad.

Wait... did you mean "Who" or "Whooves"?

Because it is set in the "DW&A" universe, and will have MANY references to the show (Mainly Christopher Eccleston to Matt Smith).

>>11459271145927

GODDAMMIT SPOILERS! I'm watching that episode as we speak!

>>11460591146059 OOPS-Y!

And in case anyone is still oblivious, the Doctor doesn't know why he/she regenerated, and why he/she regenerated as a girl.

>>11460441146044 What did I mean? What did I mean indeed....

That cover image immediately reminded me of a picture of Blackjack I saw on Deviantart.

This seems pretty interesting. I wonder how it will turn out?

>>11460941146094

That... doesn't...

*System Error*

>>11461031146103

I do want a new cover picture...

Just one picture of Colgate isn't enough!

If anyone wants to make some new cover art, be my guest.

>>11461111146111 hehehe, I look forward to preforming mischief on you.

>>11461411146141

*ACTIVATE EQUESTRIA PORTAL IN FIVE...*

“Fasten your seatbelts, we seem to be having a bit of turbulence! Thank you for flying TARDIS airways!” ‘I LOVE it when I make a new line like that! Or have I said that before?’ Another explosion rocked the TARDIS. The Doctor flipped a few more switches, pushed a few buttons, and turned a few knobs.

The TARDIS did not yield, and crashed into a nearby house.

Pendulum - Fasten Your Seat Belts

>>11459271145927 OBJECTION!!!!! he says "I'M A GIRL" not Am i a girl?

proof :

WOW this story is AWESOME

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Rainbow_dealwithit.png

Also, MOAR NAO

Cool story, bro.

>>11463231146323

FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

>>11463241146324

TOO BAD! THREE DAYS!!! MAYBE FOUR!!!

OR POSSIBLY TWELVE YEARS!!!

>>11463341146334 im sorry but i've only seen the new series so that's the only trivia i know so when i see someone has it wrong i have to correct them

>>11463601146360

Don't worry, I've only seen the new one too, but I've seen multiple clips from the others.

Now this is a new sort of Doctor Whooves premise I haven't seen before!   Liking and faving to keep track of for later!

>>11463461146346

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_RageFace.png

>>11463661146366 yeah but sorry about destroying the reason for you title though i mean you could just change it to i'm a girl and change that one line of dialogue though.

>>11463891146389

YEP! DONE!

Contrary to what some might think, ponies DO say girlfriend, not marefriend.

Because then it's like saying "Woman"friend!

Also because when the CMC sang the H&H day song, Scoots said "His girlfriend thinks so!"

>>11464161146416 true but they sometimes so screw up and say somebody or hand the correct terms would be fillyfriend and coltfriend

>>11464371146437

And that's how Equestria was-

CRAP! I can't use that joke anymore.

WHY WOULD HASBRO DO THIS TO ME?!?!?!?

>>11464471146447 wait why cant you use that joke anymore?

>>11443921144392 forced regeneration,something made him change into her... but what? a time lord can choose to regenerate, or choose not to regenerate and instead die, these were both demonstrated by the master. want more info? Google it

the woman part i don't know

>>11464841146484

Equestria was made by the Pegasi, Earth ponies, and unicorns banding together.

It was the whole purpose of Hearth's Warming!

AWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I compliment thee good writer on making this impressive fiction. Twist approves

>>11465151146515 no that's how pinkie pie got her cutie mark

Very funny and exciting so far. A bit too fast-paced though. Try describing body language with what they say. That might slow it down. Also, PipXDinky is my OTP

>>11465291146529

*SYSTEM ERROR*

*FOUR*...

>>11465671146567 dude its a joke calm down

This has potential.

>>11465761146576

*SYSTEM VIRUS DELETED*

Oh, good. Thanks.

But now I don't get to go to Equestria.

>>11466001146600 true but then we wouldnt get to read the next chapters of this story

>>11466191146619

I could tell you how the story REALLY goes!

>>11466421146642 but you wouldnt be able to contact us

>>11466491146649

Most portals go both ways!

POTENTIAL! THIS HAS IT! Looking forward to more. Never really read any Dr. Whooves stuff, but this has got me interested.

>>11466531146653 yeah but portals ar generally very unstable and i have it on good authority that equestria loves itself some dramatic irony

MAOR YOU MUTHER FUCKER MOAR!

YAY! ANOTHER DOCTOR WHOOVES FIC THAT ACTUALLY IS SIMILAR TO THE SHOWINSTA-FAVE AND WATCHED. MOAR, MUST HAVE MOAR

Image: http://static4.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/3689576+_4f990493c2fb8fbc716c2ff85567994a.jpg

Okay... much, much, much too quick. There could have been more there, but it feels like you rushed this out. Not that it's bad, in fact, it's quite good, considering. Now, i would recommend getting better acquainted with the Doctor, since this regeneration seems to have a personality based off the recent Doctors. Not that it's bad or anything, in fact, it really helps a person connect with a character they are acquainted with. Develop some traits similar with previous doctors, but try to add some new traits, because every Doctor is different. I can't remember which, but the 7nth (believe its this one) or 8th doctor would be a good example. Still the Doctor, but completely different in approach than other Doctors. Writing wise, too many references. Yes, it is fun to make a reference here or there, but don't over do it. The fact that you came up with a new word for her to use is pretty cool, so keep that. Also, i would get a person to help you out with this, since I know that plots with Doctor Who tend to get very complicated in the long run, and it gets increasingly hard to come up with new villains for the Doctor to face. You have several unresolved plot holes here that could be used for future plot points. Why did the doctor have such a similar meeting with Pipsqueak so much like the Doctor's meeting with amy? Why did he regenerate in the first place? If he had never been a girl before, why now, if not due to quick regeneration? I could say more, but i think you get the idea. Some things you could fix: "fell to his knees". he's a pony, not human. He's a girl now, don't you think he would notice he suddenly had a high pitched voice? She never mentioned she had a horn until the very end where she said she was a unicorn. Weird. Also, i think you should spend some more time writing detail on appearance.

Now, list of references i get: meeting with pipsqueak, celery, allons-y, Geronimo, and that's it.

I feel as though i am one of the only people on Fimfiction that actually posts helpful Reviews anymore...

have a mustache for reading all of that

Right, while I like this so far it's already looking like Amy and Rory with a few differences. Please don't make it a clone.

Please.

Seriously.

That would be bad.

A bit weird how sporadic and fast the conversations move, but that's only because he's she's The Doctor, and this stuff is the norm. I really need to watch Doctor Who, but I never get time to watch anything :C.

It's a bit fast paced and reading it felt strange... Butttttttttt

I love the Doctor and his window! So bloody hilarious, and the doctor's as crazy as ever! Instant Fav!

Hmmmm... That's a very interesting idea, that Colgate is actually the Doctor, just in a new Regeneration.

However, the story itself is... lacking. I wouldn't say there's too much talking, but more than that, there's too little description. Nothing to describe what the ponies are doing, how they're moving, how their expressions change, what they're feeling, how the tone of their words sound... and that honestly makes it feel very very bland. Furthermore, since there isn't anything to tell us who is speaking at any given moment, it becomes difficult to tell just who is speaking in the various lines of dialogue. It's very aggravating.

Also, yes. This does move way too fast. It would have been good to slow these character moments down and spread them out and look deeper into them over the course of a whole story. Like, say, have DInky only find out that this is her mother's old friend at the climax of the story, have her be suspicious of her up to that point, and have Pip be trusting, but wary of her, and have the Doctor take more time to adjust to her new situation. The characters are just flipping through emotions like channels on a television here, and it's not really all that believable...

Oh fuck yeah. I can't wait to see if the Doctor will react with frustration or embrace it. THIS HAS MY INTEREST. I MUST NOW COMMENCE READING.

Faved and thumbs upped, mostly cause its a good idea

>>11463461146346

I see what you did there.

Also you could give this doctor time based magic, (slow time, speed up time, maybe a pseudo time stop)

Well, this has certainly peaked my interest. Good comedy, nice personalities. I'm still pretty pissed off with him when he just left Derpy off at the side of the road. Honestly, who does he think he is?! Well, it's still pretty sweet. Can't wait to see what direction this goes to.

Pretty good story.  It kinda felt rushed at times though, and I had trouble keeping track of who was saying what when all three got involved at the end.

yes i been waiting for this to happen thank you and colgate (the doctor) no less this should be interesting indeed. ALLONS-Y

Man this shit is fucccckked up.I have no Idea what stay happening.

Oh well damn good story, here can have one like

amazing simply amazing wait don't tell me he didn't did he

I love it

Also I love how excited the doctor was when he.....she (gonna have to get used to that) realized he...(blast) she was going to have another Amy/Rory companion combo

I'm surprised nobody thought of this sooner.

Continue, or else... Fluttershy will cry or sumething...