With Gabby having a day off from the mail business and Smolder out of school for the weekend, they have a nice, quiet picnic together.
Entry for the May Pairing Contest 2020
Chapters (1)
CAPTAIN YOSHI HD
Joined 27th Aug, 2016 ·
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This is a sweet story and an interesting pair. It's certainly one I've never seen before.
On the grammatical side, you should never have a sentence end like: "I love you.", with both a period and a comma on either side of the quotation marks. The punctuation marks go inside the quote and it should be either a period OR a comma, one or the other, never both. Which one you should go with depends on how the sentence is structured.
Example 1: "I love you," she whispered.
Since this has Smolder's speaking tag (i.e. 'she whispered') that gets a comma.
Example 2: "I love you." Smolder stood up.
Here, Smolder's standing is not related to the act of talking. So what she said is itself a complete sentence, as is Smolder's action.
This is a handy guide: https://writersbeat.com/speech-tags-t16297.html
Keep writing!