Twilight Sparkle, the Solar Regent, was frustrated. She’d never had a chance against Nightmare Moon, and now she had to live with the consequences of her failure and the moon goddess on the throne beside her.
Shining Armor, Captain of the Royal Guard, was frustrated. His liege was gone. His marefriend was somewhere doing something. His sister was showing all the early warning signs of one of her infamous breakdowns. Worst of all, everypony was keeping secrets.
Sweetie Drops, Equestrian special agent, was frustrated. Work kept piling up, and there seemed to be more and more monsters to fight every day. She needed help.
Cadance, the Crystal Princess, was frustrated. Being somepony’s snack was beneath her, but needs must.
Tempest Shadow, wanderer, was frustrated. Why did life always insist on kicking her while she was down? If it wanted to maintain even the pretext of fairness, her next destination would be her last.
Luna, the Lunar Diarch, was delighted. Everything had gone perfectly since her return from exile.
Oh. You're back!
Is this the Sequel to the Moon's Apprentice, or unrelated? Some bits of the description have me very confused.
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Unrelated, although it's adapted from the omake in The Moon's Apprentice.
Edit: I expect the next chapter, when I finish it, would put the entire description into perfect light since Twilight technically isn't on the throne yet and we haven't gotten to Cadance and Tempest. Is that the problem? It's a bit hard from an authorial perspective to know what's not clear.
To put it simply, I'm glad you're back. I will look forward to each update.
I'm really looking forward to seeing how on Equis Twilight manages to explain this to Shining. Or Cadence, for that matter...
Interesting, very interesting. Gotta ask though, were there any changes to the omake as the prologue? Skimmed it and they seemed the same.
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It's mostly unchanged. There are some updates with the expanded canon four years later (particularly the rogues gallery). Some minor editing for flow. A little extra alicorn lore. A few semantical changes to facilitate a full length story. Nothing that not reading will ruin your understanding of the rest of the story, I imagine.
So... can Luna turn into Nightmare Moon at will? I’m confused. And where are Twilight’s friends during all of this?
Anyway, this is a very interesting prologue thanks to the worldbuilding and questions raised. I also love the idea of the shadow-absorbing lights - it reminds me of The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess.
Oh, this is sure to be good. Nice to see you writing ponies again.
>was merely rubbed salt
Probably should be "was merely rubbing salt"
A very nice start. I can't help but feel that relative time ("5 days later") would be a lot easier to process than remembering the calendar system plus the relevant previous dates.
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"Nightmare Moon" is a fake enemy that Luna created for the purpose of defeating and making her rule legitimate in the eyes of the populace. Twilight's friends are still in Canterlot. Her travelling companions are a few rooms over and don't notice a thing.
From the second half of his name, I infer that this is a pony who tries to do good.
And here we have a perfect exhibit of Luna's argument to Twilight. An enchantment from the days of yore which remains, probably hundreds of years later, still the greatest defense available to Canterlot.
Overall, fun chapter! I hadn't expected the omake to be revised and continued like this, and I look forward to seeing where you take it from here.
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Thanks.
It's...AAALLLIIIIIIVVVEEE!!!
I like this Luna more. She isn't stupid enough to think eternal night would ever work. As we saw in Season 6's premier, alicorns are useless against eternal cold. Or for very long anyway.
Equus would have frozen solid long before anypony ever liked her, even faking it.
This was intense, to say the least. That entire speech dripped of potential.
It felt like staring into the abyss, and the abyss staring back.
The question is, is the abyss offering destruction, or salvation?
OK, this is an I ter3sti g and complex story, lo Vining it so far :D
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Just waiting now to see if Luna can command the mystical powers of... placebomancy!
Good chapter. Agree with the below poster about the shield spell from ages past still being the best they have. Historically, it's VERY rare for something to be superior and not surpassed form more than a handful of decades.
this prologue alone is enough to interest me
Iiinteresting . .
broooo I remember this! Was it really that long ago?? Damn, man.
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I haven't actually read it yet, but looking forward to it. Twilight being the Solar Regent...kinda made me think it was a sequel? Now that I'm typing it out I'm not sure if Twilight was actually a Regent. Seems like that implies a short reign, and Celestia gave no such impression that she'd be back in the next century.
Then there was the Cadance bit, which makes it sound like she's feeding Chrysalis, maybe under Canterlot, which considering the changelings were allied with Twilight...
Tempest Shadow is out of nowhere. And Sweetie Drops is just "eh".
A very interesting take on this. Looking forward to more.
This is interesting. It just isn't well grounded at all. You've thrown the reader into things a bit too quickly with not enough grounding first. The first chapter was quite confusing. A little setup to show that the story is following along with canon terms, before going off with a different teleport copying lines and such would've been quite welcome and made the start far less...odd. Further, Twilight should probably still be playing a little of her own game here. Sure Luna threw some truths at her, and sure she might be tempted a bit. But she revered Celestia a bit too much for me to buy that she'd sell her out quite this quickly. A thought that she can learn her own power now, learn Luna's weaknesses, and then get Celestia back later in a more concrete fashion since she's obviously too weak now and the Elements didn't work at all and never will since she thinks she's...ill suited.
Also this rather SCREAMS for Luna's perspective and more about her. I understand about wanting to keep her mysterious and I assume you'll get there later, and how things were different in the past then canon? But, there's a lot of holes here that really need to be filled in. I'm anxious to see you do that. If it doesn't happen and it's just putting Luna and her ideas ahead of Celestia that'll be boring. But I will definetly add this to my watch list to see how it develops. Was an intriguing start.
I am very glad to see you writing again
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Will we get an explanation as to how/why Twilight is an alicorn any time soon?
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Soonish, yes.
Its definitely got my interest but seems like there was a bit of set up lost somewhere. Curious to see where it goes.
Incredible opening. The dialogue, the direction of the story, it all has me hooked now. I am definitely keeping an eye on this one.
Sooo, Luna and Twilight are just pretending to fight Nightmare Moon in a bid to make the former look good in front of Equestria?
Interesting. Almost getting some Mysterio vibes here.
Well, I finished the other stuff earlier than expect, and I think I've time for this now after all!
Prologue:
"Twilight had gotten far too personal a look at the pink one’s bare hooves"
I've been trying to remember, and looking at the wiki, but this isn't coming to me: to which particular incident does this refer? I'm quite curious, now, but I'd also like to stop looking and keep reading. :)
"alter reality with their mind. But"
"alter reality with their minds. But"?
"a mare scrapping at the dregs of"
"a mare scraping at the dregs of"?
"bit out an weak, “Apologies."
"bit out a weak, “Apologies."?
"Besides for a mare a thousand"
"Besides, for a mare a thousand"?
"Twilight was scrapping the bottom"
"Twilight was scraping the bottom"?
"the volume as the others"
"the volume of the others"?
"unable to bare looking at the"
"unable to bear looking at the"?
Oh, by the way, last time I checked, I believe you posts on the geometry of the world had lost their images; you might want to check up on that.
Chapter 1:
Let's see, if I'm interpreting the date format correctly, it's {moon number} {season} Moon {day-in-moon number}, {year number} {era}? Putting the start of this chapter about five days (one week) after the previous chapter?
...Five days making their way out of the Everfree, and not one of the tame versions of the Everfree, from the sound of it. Likely impressive all five made it out.
"To Prince Blueblood question, General"
"To Prince Blueblood's question, General"?
"ever thinner everyday. She"
"ever thinner every day. She"?
Ah, I'd wondered if the casualties were secretly deliberate.
Well, this does appear to be interesting as expected. :)
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To be honest, I don't remember either, but it seemed like something Pinkie Pie would do, so it just sort of passed unchecked when I revised the omake for a proper story.
I don't think I have backup copies of those images, so...they may be lost to time. I suppose I could recreate them, but that sounds like a pain.
As far as I can tell with maybe 30 min of prowling the internet and pulling up some screen caps from the series, that's the calendar system the show uses in-universe. I'm still catching up to what's happened over the past four years, though, so correct me if I'm wrong.
P.S. If you want to be a prepreader again, let me know.
Incedible. I can't wait for more!
Interesting and well written, though it postulates a number of facts I'm not sure are canon (like the railroad running to the Crystal Empire existing in Ye Olden Days instead of being added later by Celestia) but I can accept them as part of the AU in this case. And you managed to make the look inside Twilight's head suspenseful.
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"To be honest, I don't remember either, but it seemed like something Pinkie Pie would do, so it just sort of passed unchecked when I revised the omake for a proper story."
Huh.
[shrugs]
Well, it's an AU, and also Pinkie Pie, yes. :D
"I don't think I have backup copies of those images, so...they may be lost to time. I suppose I could recreate them, but that sounds like a pain."
Ah, pity; sorry about that.
"As far as I can tell with maybe 30 min of prowling the internet and pulling up some screen caps from the series, that's the calendar system the show uses in-universe. I'm still catching up to what's happened over the past four years, though, so correct me if I'm wrong."
Thanks!
As for it being the system the show uses in-universe, though, ehhh... my impression is that the debate on what, if any, consistent system the show's universe uses hasn't been resolved.
No reason you can't have this universe use that, though. :)
"P.S. If you want to be a prepreader again, let me know."
...That's a rather humorously located typo. :D
Anyway, not sure, but not necessarily opposed either. What sort of system are you thinking of using for prereading, and what are you expecting for chapter lengths and frequency of appearance? Oh, and you can go ahead and PM me if you'd rather move this discussion there.
Talk about beating yourself up. Ha!
I've been waiting for this. Luna and Twilight interacted in the Moon's Apprentice but Chrysalis and Cadance didn't really.
Although, this raised more questions than answers, as they apparently already know each other. And have pet names. Ex-flame?
... Bad move, Cadence. All Luna has to do is ask Chrysalis what she'd like in return for keeping you, and Game Over. I'm pretty sure you'll be informed of this shortly. Your only saving grace is that Luna just might want you free and allied for when Sombra reappears.
Good start!~
But after "The Moon's Apprentice" i hope this not another "Bad pony Celestia" fic.
I'm getting Yandere-ex vibes here.
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I mean... this iteration of Luna has made some pretty reasonable points, if a bit heavily biased in terms of motivation. I do have to ask what you're doing reading these if you're a fan of Celestia (not that I dislike her, exactly), but take away the bias and it's not so much a "Celestia's a terrible pony" fic as it is a "Celestia is well-meaning but let her country stagnate in the name of peace" fic.
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I agree with you.
But after "The Moon's Apprentice"(and 400 000 word!) i was quite dissapoint with end of story. There was no reconciliation between royal sisters, conflict was not resolved.
I hope author chose another way in this fic.
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That was kind of the point. Celestia and Luna were so far apart there couldn't really BE a resolution. The ending basically highlighted why Twilight and Cadence were better, as they stopped becoming too much like Celestia and Luna.
Not every story ends with everyone living together happily.
Enjoying this story a lot so far. Definitely curious to see what happens between Cadance and Chrysalis...
I'm not so sure...I'm thinking Luna might actually be more genuine than Twi's giving her credit for.
I mean, yeah, there's still that whole "Celestia is banished, will be staying banished, and no it's not open for debate" matter that appears to be a thing with Luna...but I've increasingly getting the impression that, beyond that, her intentions are largely harmless, if not arguably beneficial (as she does seem to truly improve the land than harm it), and that by trying to mess with it, others are only going to cause more trouble for themselves.
But then again, that might just be all part of her plan, which is where the whole thing remains...complicated--you're left continuously second-guessing her, wondering if that's really her plan, or if there's more she's not telling, or if it's all just part of her trying to string everyone along...
Yucatán Ponynsula. Ponynsula. By the gods, my sides, they hurt
Love Bug? Meal Ticket? Those two are so A Thing that's only on a hiatus because they're immortal and they can make some time for mortal lovers in their Eternal Love.
Not gonna stop Chrissy from putting her in a cocoon for a couple years though.
It...honestly doesn't seem like Twilight and Cadance have anything to fear from Luna currently. Cadance might actually end up making things worse. She has good intentions, but...probably shouldn't be trusted with the whole truth. Even though she seems to have most of it figured out. And Luna definitely knows she knows
Curious about what role Tempest is going to play in this story.
Hmm still no romance tag.
Wonder how the whole Pony of Shadows thing will go if they do something about that later. After all that monster appears to be in canon during the Legends of Magic comic arc, part of the reason Nightmare Moon even happened. His minions when Luna was kidnapped 1000 years after foolishly casting a spell she couldn't control to outstage Celestia leading to their portal opening, had the armor and was putting it on her before Celestia and Starswirl came to rescued her. And the minions might've been made by him. Considering all that with that version of PoS having won instead of being sealed away compared to the Prime one and when exactly Sombra was dealt with, it paints a picture that Luna's fall to Nightmare Moon was amplified by those 2 events so being thought of not as important and ignored was made worse than it Should've been making it a final straw.
I'm glad I found this especially after having just reread moons apprentice. One thing I kind of wished to have seen and maybe still can is Twilight bring back Celestia and force both Sisters to step down from the throne and go to family counseling.
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You know, Moon's apprentice had a polyamorous Twilight with relationships with Twinkleshine and Luna, so I guess we can't rule out Chrysalis/Cadance/Shining Armor.