Nightmare Night in Ponyville was basically what Tracy was expecting. The entire town had been decorated overnight in simultaneously adorable and ineffective holiday trappings. These included plenty of fall colors, and flowers from the flower stand. The crowd waiting outside wasn't nearly what he'd experienced at the spring festival, when visitors from distant parts had come to experience the local culture. Rather, it was clear that only Ponyville locals would be celebrating tonight.
Yet the cultural differences were visible from the very beginning. This holiday wasn’t just for children. It seemed like almost everyone made a decent attempt at a costume, and plenty of them were even recognizable to him. Tracy could only wonder at the strange factors that would allow an alien planet to have similar myths of vampires and werewolves and other creatures. Likewise, the natives seem to have the same desire to be scared. Several buildings had been redecorated into makeshift haunted houses, though of course they had some silly pun names instead.
While trick or treating remained the domain of the young, the older residents of Ponyville passed between carnival style games in the streets and the increasingly haunted galleries throughout the town.
For the first time, the flower stand wouldn’t be staying open during the holiday celebration. So both Daisy and Lily accompanied him and Rose for much of the night. That meant passing through several haunted houses together, with Tracy watching dumbfounded as the three sisters were rendered almost catatonic more than once. Sometimes, he couldn’t even tell why they were afraid.
He didn’t complain that fear gave Rose reason to be physically close to him. And in the end, Lily pressured the two of them to explore the most frightening facility in Ponyville, an abandoned warehouse that the town's only thestrals had decorated with almost civic pride.
Tracy managed to make it through the entire thing without laughing, though he did spend the whole trip wishing he’d brought a GoPro. He could only imagine what YouTube would make of an adorable horse wearing a coat to conceal its head wobbling towards him with a fake axe.
Rose was so frightened that she didn’t speak again for half an hour after they made it out, clinging to his neck like an animal rescued from a burning building.
The night wore on, through plenty more carnival games and other local traditions. Finally the children had gone to bed, and the square transformed into a makeshift dance floor. The autumn wind grew colder, and it was easy to guess why the town had made this into the last outdoor party of the year.
Ponyville was apparently closer to his true home in Ely than San Jose, as plenty of ponies discussed the upcoming snow schedule with trepidation. Just one of those many aspects of living here that Tracy hadn't quite adjusted to yet. There were no weather predictions, only weather schedules.
After a few minutes of shyness, Rose finally cajoled him onto the dance floor. At first, Tracy had horrifying flashbacks to high school, when mandatory dances like this had really meant a night of awkwardness and mockery. But this party had the advantage of alcohol. Once he had enough to drink, he found his shyness boiled away. Besides, these weren't the harsh eyes of high schoolers, quick to gossip and criticize. Ponyville had its sour apples, but it was easy to forget when Rose walked over in her “costume”, and dragged him out onto the dance floor.
It didn't matter that he'd never danced on four legs in his life, or ever had any inclination. He wasn't the only one tripping over literally two left feet. But that wasn't really the point.
“I can't believe how selfish I was,” Rose said, after a particularly slow rendition of an apparently traditional song. “I didn't even ask if you would rather celebrate on your side. I could have made an exception for Everwake and done both.”
Tracy shook his head. “Last time I was at work, a few of my coworkers talked about going out to a bar for Halloween, but you wouldn't enjoy it. It's not like here.” He gestured at the table of hard cider, where Applejack was serving increasingly happy patrons. “I think most of the people who show up will just be going to get trashed. This is much better.”
Rose looked doubtful, and might've been about to inquire about the truth of his claim.
But then Lily approached. The mare had clearly spent far more time at the cider table than either of them, and had a wobble to her step. She braced herself against a pile of hay bales and smiled dumbly up at Rose. “You two were amazing together,” she slurred, gesturing vaguely in Tracy's direction. “And this is the longest you've ever kept one, sis. Maybe you should start thinking about keeping him. It's not like you're getting younger.”
With every word it seemed Rose's face grew redder. She had the politeness to wait until her sister had finished to calmly push her mouth closed with one leg. “That's enough,” she said flatly. “Tracy's just here to enjoy the holiday. He doesn't need pressure.”
In the time it took her to say so, Daisy had approached from the edge of the dance floor. Even worse, she looked completely sober, and had apparently been listening. “Lily's right,” she said, though to Tracy's horror her attention focused far more on him. “I don't care where you come from, Spark Gap. You're not going to find anyone like my sister. You'd have to be a fool to turn her down when she asks.”
Now, even Rose turned to watch his reaction. His ears flattened, and he nodded. “You’re right. I don't have as much experience as she does, but I think you're right. I've never been with anyone like Rose and I don't think I ever will be. I wish I realized that six months ago, so we could have had more time together.”
Daisy barely even blinked. “I don't know how it is where you come from,” she said. “But around here, there are ways that you can stay with a pony forever. Of course, every tribe does it differently. I don't know about bats. But my sister knows everything.”
Rose got redder, if that was even possible. Tracy wasn't sure how he could see a blush through so much fur and body paint, but he managed.
“You too, Daisy,” Rose said. She seemed so off guard that even that was a struggle for her. At least until now their conversation had barely been noticed over the music and the wind. But whether an eddy in the weather or the transition between songs, suddenly there was dead silence, and half a dozen ponies turned to stare.
This was of course the one way that Ponyville was entirely like the place that Tracy had left behind. In a small town, everyone knew everyone. More importantly, there were many who felt like the details of every life were worth watching, and sharing as far abroad as possible.
Roseluck was a daughter of Ponyville, loved by half the town. Treating her with anything less than respect and admiration didn't just risk upsetting her, but drawing the ire of his neighbors.
He was silent for an uncomfortably long time. More and more ponies turned to watch. He couldn't bear to look at Rose's bright green eyes and lie to her face. Finally, the words just spilled out. “We have a custom like that where I come from,” he said. “You’re right, I don’t deserve a pony like her.”
That seemed to be the right thing to say, at least as far as the audience was concerned. They turned away, returning to their drinks or out onto the dance floor. But while the conversation was only incidental to many observing it, Rose hadn’t looked away. When she finally spoke, her voice cracked, and he was positive he caught a tear trickling down her face. “Everypony always leaves,” she whispered. “It’s a bat thing. That’s what I always told myself. But my sisters are right—I know thestral customs better than most. There’s nothing about leaving their lovers behind. That means it was a ‘me’ thing.”
Tracy moved in close, whispering into one of her ears. “Rose, if I had met you in my world, this wouldn't even be a question. I know we've only been dating for a few months now, but I think I'd already be brainstorming ways to take things further.”
He turned, facing their home nearby. It didn't quite border on the dance floor, though it was close to the celebration. “But if I did, that would mean one of us saying goodbye to our home. I couldn’t ask you to do something I couldn’t.”
All Rose managed was a tearful nod. So he kissed her, as long as he dared, then a little longer. If Ponyville wanted to know their business so badly, then let them watch.
Tracy watched the moon gradually sink in the sky as the night wore on, and moderated his drinking carefully. After all, he had work in just a few hours. He couldn’t make his triumphant return by spilling out of an uber with a wicked hangover and smelling like barns.
Rose didn't. Eventually he found himself walking her home, stumbling and tripping over herself as she went. He led her all the way to their bedroom, then had a moment of deliberation, puzzling over whether it was worth it to try to get her to shower off her body paint.
But in the end, washing the sheets seemed like an infinitely simpler endeavor. So he settled her in bed, and made his way back to his bedroom. However much he might want to join her, the first faint suggestions of orange crested the buildings in his window. Dread began to grow in his stomach, replacing the warmth and simple pleasures of their night together.
Tracy hadn't been to Apex in weeks now. He hadn’t slept much in that time, but that hadn’t stopped the waking nightmares of his return. He would pull in with the old civic, and find his badge didn’t scan. When he called, he would discover that Janet had fired him without telling him. Maybe there would be an unmarked black van waiting just beside the exit, and dodgy men in suits would drag him inside as soon as he stopped.
It was obviously just his imagination running wild, considering the hardware she had brought over. If she wanted to get rid of him, she wouldn’t have to visit in person, wouldn’t have to cross into another world to check if Equestria was evil.
The fear built anyway, twisting into nausea in his stomach. What stories would be whispered? What had Steven told the others before fleeing back to his home country?
Engineers were by no means a superstitious or religious group. But Steven’s insanity was itself a powerful point of evidence against him. He would need to make extra effort to repair that damage.
It wasn’t just nausea he felt—the potion was wearing off. The withdrawal teetered there on the edge of his perception, a yawning black gulf that threatened to swallow him whole.
He’d been honest about the drug, Rose knew. She must know that he’d used it to spend the holiday with her, right? She accepted this dependance, at least for the short term. I still have time to deal with this. We get a week off for Christmas, that should be plenty of time. He needed to go over the math, and compare that with the Equestrian currency he still had. The flower stand didn’t need him for the rest of the season, so he’d have to be careful. He couldn’t ask for more bits without Rose catching on.
Tracy clicked the door shut, then moved aside his picture of the Earth. He took a fresh vial of Everwake from behind it, and downed the whole thing in a second. Tiredness faded, and he finally relaxed.
I can make this work. Somehow.
lovely! Great job!
What a lovely chapter. But Tracey is going to have a massive crash from the ever wake me thinks.
Spoiler alert: he didn't.
Man, closer and closer to the (supposedly) impending goodbye. Gonna make me shed liquid pride at this point.
Love the art as always. Gonna have to go follow those folks.
Dude. This is gonna bite you in the butt. No more Everwake.
I am calling it now, he will be forced to stay in Equestria cause of a badly timed everwake crash. Not like that would be a bad thing.
Wonderful art, but Tracy is setting himself up for a MAJOR crash. I give it another two chapters, at most, before the other shoe drops.
Spoken like a true addict...
Wonder if there's a weaning protocol for reveals everwake?
As I said many many chapters ago -- the first dose is always free. He's in trouble, and digging it deeper.
Who bets he crashes from the Everwake so hard he misses the end of his bail ?
I still enjoy Lily and Daisy dressed up as Celestia and Luna
awesome pictures, good graises hes going full addict
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I feel like if the choice of which world to stay in is made for him, it does kind of blow up all this tension we've been building. I'm of the opinion that the crash is going to leave him in a situation where he doesn't have as much time as he'd like to choose.
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There is the potential for vastly more tension than you might imagine. It is obvious enough that Tracy and Rose love each other and deserve to be together forever. All the forces of the narrative point to this conclusion, and it is expected that this will happen at some point, at least to any attentive reader. For all the protestations Tracy gives, we have all been steeped in too many romantic movies and novels to not expect such an outcome.
But what I see is the hidden potential of a mountain of forces, currently in the background, but building, to dramatically tear their expected happiness apart. There is so very much potential drama, adventure, and massive, worrisome travails just waiting in the wings that I, personally, am champing at the bit trying to hold in all the thoughts I have about them. I am so excited by what could be done with this situation, at this moment, that part of me wishes I could reach in and take over the reins of the story and whip up the sort of narrative storm I have roiling in my brain! Jesus fuck, there is a LOT that could happen here with the current situation!
I would say, yeah, sure, the choice is obvious - to us. Following any path that leads to an emotionally satisfying conclusion, that obvious choice will, eventually, become clear to both Tracy and Rose as well. But between this chapter and that realization there could be a lot of powerful stuff. And even after that realization, there are so many forces that potentially could work against them, that - as far as I am concerned - the Dramameter is pegged at 'Massive Shitstorm', the needle buried at the limit of the device's capacity to measure. It's in the red. The Dramameter is literally shaking and vibrating with potential, it's so overwhelming.
I don't know what Starscribe will actually do. Writing a story - much less a whole catalogue of stories all at the same time - can be exhausting. It is a hell of a lot of work, and Starscribe has a Patreon full of demands to satisfy beyond this tale. It may only be possible to wrap things up quickly and simply, because the work load is getting to much. There are so many factors in play, and Starscribe has many other projects than Fine Print. Darnit.
But damn. I am just jiggling here with energy and thought. I keep glancing at that vibrating Dramameter. Shit - the Dramameter is beeping now! I'd better take the batteries out. I'm afraid it might explode.
These two deserve the world, and then some! They've both sacrificed so much!
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Oh, make no mistake, I anticipate much further tension. It's just that concluding the conflict of where to live with "And then Tracy fell into a coma until after the time to choose had come and gone" blows up a lot of what's been building over the past 15 or so chapters. If Tracy himself does not make the choice of his own free will, that tension doesn't have a satisfying release. It breaks that tension and the conclusion to that drama is unsatisfying.
At the same time, Everwake has to do SOMETHING. The Chekhov's gun has been loaded for 20 chapters or more now and with the increased focus on it lately, it's going to absolutely cause issues and soon. I can't wait to see what happens, but I don't see it taking him past his deadline to choose.
My guess is he's going to crash at work here, Rose is going to freak out that Tracy hasn't come home, suspect his Everwake addiction, and have to try to track him down in human world.
As the picture below attests, Rose nasturally had some... trepidations about this.
#famouslastwords
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I like that prediction.
Easy. They're not myths here.
It's important to note here that she phrases it not as if she asks, but when she asks...which ought to be telling of how much of a foregone conclusion that is.
It also occurred to me that if Tracy does walk away from it all at the end of his lease, then he really will be no better than the previous bat ponies Rose tried to woo...but only kept going on to be the wanderers they apparently tend to be instead.
You know, that's a very valid and gentlemany concern to have, and it's a point worth remembering. So many of us would say for one of these two lovebirds to just up and leave their world so to be with the other forever, but that means forever leaving their homes, their countries, and their cultures in the process, as well as family in Rose's case, and that's not something you can just wave aside, no matter how you slice it.
So frankly, I'm glad Tracy's keeping that in mind (and the story's addressing it at all because so many won't), and I think he's right to do so. Both of them need to be fully aware of that potential sacrifice moving forward, no matter what happens now and regardless of whether either of them choose to stay or to leave.
Part of me wants to hope he's right about that. But the other part of me...is looking at it more realistically, and I know it.
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I, too, like that prediction, and now I'm sort of hoping that is what happens, or at least something along those same lines.
Of course, if that does happen, I can only imagine what his coworkers--especially Janet--might think of it. And Janet can be a tricky gal to get a good read on...
... Ineffective? At what? What are they supposed to be effective towards?
I have no idea what this word means in this context.
<Rose will remember that>
Very cute images!
We can't have a broken Rose in the final chapters. Can we? No, that would be unfathomable.
The world-bending revelation with Janet actually went well - good job dear author!
Tracy's dealings with his workplace now feels semi wrapped up thanks to the treatment you gave it. Nice work.
Now... loose cannon aka Steven is still an active worry.
awesome chapter and the art is just amazing.
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I actually hadn't considered that twist. Very cool idea. And, if certain other potential guns are fired, like the idea that Janet will Karen the hell out of everything in a religious and moral panic, involving the government, it could offer an amazing way for Rose to be forced to push herself beyond her timid limits to rescue Tracy and get them both back to Equestria before their lives are destroyed. Oh, that could be amazing, I think.
He wants to push it another two months? He's going to need more then a week to sleep off that crash. If he even survives that long.
Watch it, Tracy. Even Red Bull should not be drunk more than a couple cans a day.
Tracy is so going to get himself in trouble with that potion overuse.
The facade can only stay up for o long. The question is whether Tracy can make this work, but when he can't. Whether it's the crash, the double life, the expiring lease, or even something as simple as the Ponyville gossip circuit, something's got to give. The question is what, when, and how explosively. We'll find out soon enough...
Also, I quite like Lily and Daisy going as the diarchs. A shame Luna wasn't in town to see them... I assume. For all I know, that was actually the princesses dispensing advice, though that implies unflattering things about Celestia's ability to hold her liquor. ( "It's not me, it's this body! How do you ponies function in such tiny things?")
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Agreed. This is very much a case of journey rather than destination, and I'm definitely looking forward to seeing just what kinds of bumps in the road show themselves. After all, we can't stop here.
This is bat country.
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Being frightening, I suppose. Not that most Halloween decorations actually inspire terror.
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The catch being Tracy doesn't seem to have much tying himself to his old world any more. Doesn't eat the same food doesn't seem to soeak to his friends, seems to be working just to support himself not because he's especially pasionate about it or because he needs the money for some goal he can only achieve on earth. I'm not saying it'd be easy for him but he'dbe giving up things and ponies he wants in Equestria for what? Opposable thumbs?
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His humanity? His culture? A world he not only actually understands well, but was also born and raised in? People he knows? And, of course, his job, which may not have been the center of attention as of late in the story or been free of its bumps, but it is still his dream job, and he knows he's dang lucky to even have it, how much of a boon it was for him to have it (and at his age and experience level too, no less), and he knows that he's not likely to get another opportunity even remotely like it any time soon if he does pass it up.
I'm not saying there isn't an argument for him to stay in Equestria anyway, because there definitely is. But it's easy for us, the readers, to look in from the outside and see that. Tracy doesn't have that advantage though, the path ahead not so obvious, doesn't know what could be coming, nor that it really would be the right choice, because just because it seems like it is now, doesn't mean it still will later, once it's too late to take it back. And he knows, abandoning one world for another, likely forever, is still no small choice to make, and definitely not one to make just out of hand. And as he said before, he couldn't possibly force Rose to have to make that same choice too--he respects her too much for that.
Basically, don't underestimate just how serious a choice this is for Tracy. When you really get right down to it, no matter what he chooses, he's going to loose out on something big. And right now, he's not sure he's willing to really loose out on any of it, even as he knows deep down he's going to have to at some point. But like him using the Everwake to put off his sleep...he's putting off having to face that reality in full too.
You can bet, though, that reality ultimately won't let him have a say in the matter.
Nice art and chapter. I'm still holding out hope Discord nonsensically offers an extension or Twilight manages to replicate it.
With the building up of Chekhov’s everwake I have the horrible feeling that he’ll finally achieve a satisfactory way to go to stay in Equestria, then the everwake will Captain America him into the future at the end of Rose’s life.
Dammit Tracy, that Everfree will end you. I can't help but think that your forced sleep will choose for you. The only problem is which side you'll fall asleep in.
Considering the existence of other World Gates, it wouldn't be too hard for some cultural mixing to occur.
Hopefully, the Everfree mixes with alcohol well.
A dream job over a potential life partner. A hard choice. Then again, it takes a lot of conviction to leave one's home and life behind even without any true connections to lose. I hope you don't have any regrets, Tracy.
That would be quite the story losing everything you've actually chosen.
No. You can't.
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There's always a possibility he'll crash on the Earth side.
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So I can see that the crash will either consume most but not all of Tracy's remaining time or it'll make him crash on the Earth side and forcing that choice there since an Equestrian crash might be considered a win-win lovey ending. I can see Rose trapping herself on the other side but that's more tragic than Tracy since she has more to lose. Still an "Earth crash, no love" ending seems quite the downer with the way the scales seem balanced. I guess the only way it could be worse is if it was "all for nothing" remaining in Earth, no love, and Tracy's prediction coming true, in that somehow he loses his job too. It's certainly a conundrum with how it will end.
Regardless of what happens, I do hope we get an explanation of Discord's ultimate goal on his project. Even if the ends are meaningless, Tracy certainly deserves to know the reason for it all.
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If it is his ultimate choice, then he will be choosing Apex over her. Still, I really hope she doesn't beat herself up over it. From the looks of things, it does look like he's leaning towards returning to Earth. Makes me wonder how appropriate it is for him to continue a relationship he intends to end.
Indeed, though I guess he has also considered the possibility that the relationship might not work out in the end. The Earth choice seems a bit more stable and guaranteed the closer you look at it. The scales are more balanced than it appears.
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Why would she? She already visited another world as another species and didn't freak out. It would be bizarre and out of character for her to somehow about face.
Hmmm, does anyone know about Rose's deal with Discord? The way I see it, if she goes over to Tracy she can keep the key as she would then need access to her sisters though that might need a mod to her agreement (don't know if it's a lease) ...
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He doesn't know many people, doesn't seem to be very attached to his humanity, and doesn't engage much with his culture. I'm sure he can find a career he finds compelling on the other side.
He never goes to the office or hangs with his coworkers, and who can seriously be that into a job in this society anyway. It's so soulless and unrewarding.
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As I once posted before, I have met many people like Janet before. I have seen how they act. I have seen such people put on a completely happy face, smile right in your face, and then, because of their beliefs, narrowness, and fear, stab you directly in the back. I have had that happen so many, many times in my life that I can hardly imagine it NOT happening anymore. It has become a real-life, non-fiction trope for me. So many 'Janet' people who nod and agree everything is just fine, and then fuck up your life once they are away from you.
Do you want some examples? I can provide them.
One of my spouses worked at a company that made skin creams and such out of cactus. It turned out that much of the company was Super Duper Christian, including her boss (who was the CEO of the entire company). My spouse, like every employee was encouraged to do, put a picture of her spouse - me - on her desk. I am a woman, just like her (Oh Noes! Lesbians! The Horror!). The boss called her in for that, because "somebody complained". My spouse explained our relationship of decades, and stated that she was doing nothing differently than any other employee. Her boss - a true 'Janet', nodded and smiled and told her that it was all perfectly alright, and that there was no problem at all! She said she even wanted to meet me, maybe come to dinner. She was just super duper fine with it all. She was proud of my spouse for being so open and honest. She was 'inspired' by our many decades long relationship.
The next day, my spouse was fired, literally frog-marched out of the building by security guards. Her picture of me had been 'mysteriously' smashed and stepped on several times. She was never given her last check - no, don't even ask about 'suing them', that isn't something non-rich people who don't have lawyers can do over a single paycheck. They made sure to humiliate her during the firing as much as possible. True 'Janet' behavior. It was made absolutely clear to my spouse that the problem and reasoning for her firing was that her being lesbian was 'unchristian' and MUST be punished or it would set a bad example to the world and to god. And to those who used hand lotion. No, there is no point in suing over that utterly illegal breach of employment law either, so don't even suggest it.
I literally have over a dozen stories just like this. Literally.
'Janet' in this story sounds like every single person like that I have met or had to directly deal with the effects of. They are basically the same person, all of them. Highly religious, super duper Christian, and they lie right to your face about how everything is fine, and they have no problem with you existing in the same world as them, and how they are so glad to meet you, and how you are going to be just the best of friends. And then they betray you in every way possible, because they get freaked out later. Never during. Later. And then they want blood. It has happened for me - and also people I know - so many times, and so often, that it is basically the 'Karen' concept decades before 'Karen' became a thing.
That is why she would do it. That is why she could travel through Equestria and smile and nod and leave saying everything was alright. I knew 'Janet' the moment she passed through that door. I have met her before. Many, many times in my sixty-one years. Many times, under many names.
Frankly, if Starscribe doesn't go there, doesn't play Janet this way, I will know two new things. One, that Starscribe isn't very old or very experienced with real life in this world, and that two, Starscribe doesn't actually comprehend or understand people as well as I imagined. Seriously.
Also, quite frankly, what a loss of a fantastic and dramatic plot development, you know? A solid, rational basis for a big fuss isn't always easy to come up with, and this is just sitting there like a golden gift from the gods. Or, if I am right about Starscribe, Janet was carefully planned as another big Chekhov Gun, just waiting to be fired. I think very highly of Starscribe. Janet cannot just be a pointless, meaningless red herring. Not to a solid, professional-ish author. No way.
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I've been around the block a time or two myself, Chats, and I've seen people the way you describe, but I think you're letting your trauma blind your objectivity. I've seen people like Janet not act that way, and she's not unrealistic as portrayed here.
Also, it's been weeks - what the hell is she waiting for?
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For me it is pretty telling that you are so certain that Janet is the one who is going to do all of this, and not literally the character who has reacted the way you described. It's pretty clear based on inference that Janet is not particularly religious, is a lapsed a Catholic at most, and brandished a token of her past - something she ordinarily doesn't even wear - because she has been exposed to something unexplainable.
Nothing in her behavior lends itself to your interpretation. Rather than lashing out emotionally after her initial brush with things, or Steven's warnings, she went back in and tested the water herself, even went so far as to suggest that it might be worth Tracy staying. This is not the knee-jerk emotional response of a zealot.
Meanwhile, Steven has done all of the things you described, but he's not wearing a cross, so I guess it has to be Janet.
For that matter, it is the height of your arrogance, to suggest that another writer simply lacks real life experiences, just because they present a view of the world that is different from your own experience. Identical, in fact, to the mindset relied upon by the people who fired your spouse.
I normally feel like your comments can be pretty insightful, and I've enjoyed quite a few of your stories, but I see your reaction to this and all I can think of is this passage:
"The traumatized person's sense of their ability to protect themselves has been damaged or destroyed. They feel endangered, even if there is no actual danger in the present, because in the past they have experienced profoundly invasive cruelty and they know it is possible."
I know from my own personal experience that this can be true, both as a trans person who has been ostracized by their family (and much like you, was forced to build my own from scratch), and as someone who has survived multiple instances of sexual harassment and molestation. Just to get that out of the way before you go on a tangent about any presumed naivety on my part.
And hey, if that's your read of the situation, that's fine. But I'd really appreciate it if you did not condescend to an author for expressing a view of the world that matches their own lived experience, rather than yours. Or for that matter, my sister.
This was a great chapter and I wonder when Tracy's gonna crash as a result of the Everwake. I also wonder when he's finally going to make a decision about which world he wants. He hasn't been clear about that at all and I suspect he will delay making a decision until the very end.
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I cannot deny that I have been heavily traumatized. I have seen some terrible, terrible things. Possibly too many things. Arguably too many things.
I can say this with some confidence though: I have yet, in all of my life, to experience anyone who talked so concretely about sin and religion and demons as Janet does in this story, remain decent, positive, supportive, or the least bit kind once they had time to reflect on the strange, odd, or against-their-worldview event that they have had to deal with. Not once. Not ever.
If I had even one single example that I could point to in my life, where a person like 'Janet' was able to just keep their nose out of things and not try to 'cure' whatever didn't fit their beliefs, I would back down and apologize for my 'arrogance'. Even just one time would be enough. But I don't have that.
If Janet was not intended to be a Chekhov's Gun, then why have her so very concerned about sin and evil and demons and religion at all? Why have her desperately need to brave an alien universe just to make certain it wasn't against her god? Why write that, if not for a purpose? For the hell of it? Just because? For no reason at all? No! That would be terrible writing. Seriously, that would just be bad writing. If an author makes a fuss, then the reader needs to pay attention.
Starscribe is easily one of the best writers on Fimfiction. Absolutely one of the very best. I cannot accept such a rookie mistake from an author of Starscribe's capability. Janet was written in a way that was defined by two traits: Janet is imperious, and Janet is religiously terrified of spiritual evil. Those are literally her only two defining character traits. The first makes her ride Tracy's ass about work. But the second makes her dare to enter an alien cosmos (!) in search of specifically demonic evil. I utterly refuse to believe that Starscribe wrote the character that way for no purpose and no reason, with no thought and no consideration! Starscribe is too good a writer to do that. Or, so I believe with all of my heart.
Yell at me if you will, scold me as you like, but I say this: Starscribe is far too great a writer to throw a hyper-religious character willing to dare entering a potential hellmouth (her first impression, you remember) at the reader, and then just flush such a dynamic event down the literary toilet as if it meant nothing. I don't accept that. Janet could have been non-religious, Janet could have refused to enter, Janet could have not gone inside. But no - Starscribe hung a lantern on that whole scene.
Sorry, I am not giving up on Starscribe's talent, just because you think I am overly traumatized.
A good writer doesn't just throw away powerful events and intense characters. Shitty writers do that, because they don't know any better. Good authors write with intention. I will not - yet, at least - accept that the character of Janet was written without thought or consideration or intention. I say she must there for a reason beyond a completely random visit by an arguably half-crazy demon-fearing Christian. For now, I stand for Starscribe being brilliant enough to mean what is written, and use what is created.
But, I also know, that I could be wrong. I guess we shall see.
10678187
My family has members like that, and they accept me as trans. There is your example.
Hope you're prepared to be disappointed - pretty sure Janet's arc was largely concluded.
10678187
If your interpretation of what I had to say was a dismissive, "I don't need to listen to you, because you are traumatized." Then I apologize, clearly, I did not do a sufficient job explaining my position.
That said, I have no interest in furthering this conversation. I doubt very much anything I say will be interpreted in anything approaching good faith. It seems I have already done a more than satisfactory job of burning any kind of bridge between us.
10678187
I will add that I think you have an extremely narrow view of what constitutes good writing that I do not believe comports with the actual practice. Your insistence that Starscribe must write this the way you think because you think he's so good is motivated reasoning at its finest, and thinking that if he doesn't he will have shown himself to be immature is limiting and condescending. Beyond that, I have nothing to say.
10677954
True, but this something I hope doesn't happen, since I highly doubt that the medics there would be able to offer much assistemce in his case. Besides, I prefer an ending where Rose nd Tracy stay together at the end, unimportant where they end up.
Should Rose decide to move with him to earth, there is still the problem with the missing legal documents.
There's going to be a comeuppance coming shortly, and I just hope the lies he's telling himself and Rose don't do too much damage.
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10678253
You both seem very antagonistic, and I sincerely do not comprehend why. I think you are, in some manner, trying to defend the honor of Starscribe, at least I hope so, and we have no quarrel there: I have said it multiple times, and I will say it again - I consider Starscribe to be one of the very best writers on all of Fimfiction. Definitely one of my favorites of all time. I have nothing but respect. I could expound on why I am a fan for an hour, easily. So, you don't need to be upset with me on that score.
Unless I misinterpreted you both, and you don't actually think Starscribe is any good, in which case, yes, I am not your pal.
As to the issue of 'how someone should write', well, yes. There are accepted conventions and structures to quality writing, and these are well known, established, and taught in high schools and colleges. I have been to college, I have taken advanced courses in writing, and - just as a person who has studied, say, astrophysics, might object to sound in space within some science fiction show - I take objection to poor writing. And poor writing is a thing that can be judged. It can be defined. It can be taught.
One such aspect is 'Chekhov's Gun'. I've given you the Wikipedia link, you can Google more if you desire. There are many aspects to the principle, but Anton Chekhov defined it in his own words thus:
Another definition is:
A genuinely decent writer knows this rule. In short, if you put something into a story which is clearly an object of power, influence, or danger of whatever form, one that will cause the audience to react with apprehension or excitement, you never, ever, ever abandon or forget about it. Either you make sure it matters, or you should never have put it in. That is a definable metric of good writing.
The character of Janet is a Chekhov's Gun. She has power: she has power over the protagonist, she has power over what could happen to him, she could potentially destroy him or even ruin his life. She could, through her choices and actions, wreck him. Or she could save him. She has power.
She also has emotional impact with the readers. The comments about her were prodigious; she caused a great deal of discussion and fuss overall. She is important to the story because of the power she has. Because she can destroy Tracy's life, she is a big deal.
More than this, she is dangerous. Janet is defined by two traits, as I mentioned: her imperiousness - she is ambitious and demands people obey her - and she is a little crazy. Any person who actually believes in physical, real devils, in actual demons and demonic power is, by definition, not entirely rational. Janet is demon-haunted. She believes - seriously believes - in spooks and goblins and things that reach out from a factual hell.
This is insane. This is the sort of counterfactual belief that leads to every kind of atrocity and cruelty in the world. Believing in demons and devils as factually real can lead to burning people at the stake, or to taking children from their innocent parents because the game 'Dungeons And Dragons' was once played in their house (true event, happened several times). It is a form of crazy that allows people to kill friends and neighbors because they think 'devils' live inside them (also true, also several times, just this year actually).
A person who does not believe in factual demons never does these things. Not these things.
Janet is a powerful, dangerous character. If the writing can be defined as good, by textbook terms, then she cannot exist for no reason. If she is in the story, and if the writing is good by the standards of professional authors and educators, then Janet must have been put in the story for a reason. She is a Chekhov Gun, and before the story is over, she must be fired.
I believe in the validity of the solid, educational basics of good writing. I believe in the foundations of English literature. I value the worth of a literary education. I comprehend that it is possible to judge works of prose accordingly, and rationally, according to established standards.
So far, Starscribe has not - in the stories I have read - failed to live up to at least the basics of proper literary technique. That is why Starscribe is one of my favorite authors here - the work is actually good. It is good by the metrics of how good writing is measured.
I say Starscribe is a good writer. If you continue to disagree with me, then, truly, we have nothing further to discuss.
As many comments have pointed out, I feel the suspense building, it certainly feels like something is around the metaphorical corner.
Much like LunarRai prediction I can see Tracy crashing at work in the next chapter, Rose freaking out that Tracy hasn't come home, and try to track him down in human world.
Suspicion of Everwake be dammed, Rose going to the human world without Tracy to guide her is just asking her to be in peril.
10678375
This entire debate, and all “debates” I’ve seen you in or have had with you, remind me of an incredibly funny quote from braun, a regular on the bokoen1 channel.
“Imma do the Sudetenland 6 months early, but if you deny the event, THEN YOU’RE KILLING MY HISTORY BONER”
Rewritten:
“Imma start saying that religious people bad, but if you refute my statement THEN YOU KILLING MY WRITING BONER!”