I am trying to be Writer but, my english is not so good. ONE PUNNNCHCHHH!
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My, name is Georg Filipe Mendoza and I went to a con dressed as Saitama from one Punch Man and I go to Esquestira then I go to Canterlot high to help fight monsters that could attack it. I don't know much about being a hero but now that I have all of Saitama's abilities I reckon, I should start learning.
Their is a remake by Cinders of war if you want to read of a better english.
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You must be new here...
Um, I advise getting an editor, and a good understanding of grammar. I like the premise, though it could've been done better.
10130999
What is that suppose to mean?
10131056
Sorry my english not so good, but THANK YOU for liking! I will try to improve.
10131330
Well, as the second commenter said, get a editer and a good understanding of grammar. As for why I said 'you must be new here' is that you chose a Displaced Saitama who is known to be overpowered and defeats any enemy with a single punch using little to no effort, and of course the guy is invisible to all damage. I don't see much the main character to learn about.
10131363
I will try work on my grammar. But I know editor is spelt with o and should be invincible not invisible. My character will be go through Emotion experience and mental, He will learn on the way.
10132318
Fair enough.
10132323
Thank you
10138511
Sorry for the sudden and the errors, my english still working, I try to make it better. Thank you for enjoying!
I like it and want more, theres no mistakes either (that I can see but I'm dislexic... They made that word to piss us off I swear)
Spelling error
10144509
Thank you I change.
10144556
No problem đź‘Ť
đź‘Ť
10268107
Thank you for thinking!
Anyone can tell me what you thnink when next if you read my story and I can know how to improve or what to add?
Great chapter! And a great story Aswell
Amazing chapter!
This story has potential but it's being dragged down by poor grammar and lots of spelling mistakes.
I am barely on the first chapter and I don't know if I even want to read any more, but I want to impart some advice for you. Saitama is the character who is so incomprehensibly strong that he can kill an eldritch abomination with a single punch. We all know this. It is incredibly hard to write interesting stories about a character that essentially has no kryptonite. Nothing that can force the MC to grow and become a better person. Saitama is the perfect example of a Gary stu. Never changing, usually over powered. Very difficult to write for. I wish you luck on continuing this story, however far it may go, just remember to keep things new and interesting.
10890863
His power is actually quite interesting limitation for a writer because you can't just write that usual power trip where character "grows as a person" by beating living shit out of the opposition barely surviving in the process himself. It isn't hard to write, though, because amount of the problems you can solve with a one mighty punch is actually incredibly finite and that's his kryptonite. He can't find love by applying a fist to the head, he can't revive the dead with this or discover a panacea for incurable disease. Take Saitama from his world, drop into a middle of a murder mystery and he'll become just another person at background. Thus, the only way for him to grow is by dealing with these common everyday little pesky problems like friendship. He's all powerful, but at the same time completely utterly helpless and that's why he is not and can not be a "Gary Stu". Gary Stu does not have the issues to solve in the first place because the very universe prostrates in front of him and bends to his every whim, but the main issue with Gary Stu characters is that they lacking a... character of their own. They are walking and talking plot holes.
And explosively so! No, seriously, "and it explodes" is enough. I usually mention typos I found in the comments, but in this case I'd be quoting entire chapters because there's an issue with at least every other sentence and I can't help myself but to stumble over them and rephrase them in my head. Missing words, extra words, wrong words, odd structure of some sentences and of course typos like a "wiig" and "since" instead of "wig" and "sense" respectively. That's not a fun reading experience.
I wish you well, but you should consider reading more literature in English. I can guarantee that will help in the long run.
10890863
10891508
I am sorry I will try to improve and read more. Sorry for my english.
Another amazing
looking forward to seeing more
I'm actually a little surprised that's happening. Usually that indicates the old story has been cancelled. Please respond to this comment.
10893263
Thank you I hope it can only get better You are also very fast
10893265
No I am still writing I am almost done, I just told him if he can write a better one because, mine does not have good grammar and english to a lot of people so I am seeing if anyone wants to remake. You are also free to remake if youwant I like to see people do my story better
10893269
Amazing!
Also looking forward to seeing the next arc
We are in the final battle!
Come heroes save the world!
Amazing chapter
10895120
Yes we are coming to the end! And wow your so fast again
10895121
Yeah. I have this in my reading list after all so I know when it gets updated
Amazing chapter!
Very happy to see you’re happy.
Also I say you have been improving
Heroes win!
Looking forward to seeing the last chapter and DEFINITELY looking forward to seeing the sequel! Hopefully to see that very soon once this ones gets done
10897113
Yes me too I'm excited!
10897114
Amazing final! Looking forward to seeing the sequel!
Where can I read Cinders of war?
11084275
Cinders of war is a person he is the one who do the Bloodlines andHero for Fun also. You can search his name to find