When Twilight realizes that everypony has a tale to tell and that anypony could benefit from hearing these, she comes up with an idea: Create an open night where anypony can tell their stories for whoever wants to hear them.
The idea takes off much faster than Twilight anticipated, and soon ponies are practically queueing up to tell all and sundry what they've been through. But what effect will this have on Ponyville's social life, when everypony knows that anytime they do anything, it could be all over town the next week?
Please note that while the story as a whole is intended to be slice-of-life, individual tales may fall into other categories. There may be mild shipping, but this will not be a focus of the story.
This is my first fanfic, so please feel free comment and leave advice or feedback. I want to learn!
Oooh Nice cliffhanger!
Now, you got a nice idea, It can be really interesting.
You write well, small grammar errors. Your main problem seems to be that you sometimes forget words, don't worry everypony does that. So I guess you need to get a proofreader, or do it yourself carefully.
One example:
“We can’t hold it at the town hall, the structure’s still not entirely a hundred per cent stable since Derpy’s accident last week"
Keep up the good work, and your eyes open for mistakes!
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Edit:
First post...
No seriously I forgot, try to work a little more on your descriptions of location and scenes. Always try to use the 5 senses if at all possible. They help people to immerse themselves.
According on how you are going to tell the stories told by the ponies. (First person, third person, dialogue, etc) You will be able to adjust the level of description that sounds normal. But try to give us impressions of locations and feelings, ok?
1123170 Thanks for the advice! I am planning to go a lot more into descriptions when ponies are telling their tales, and I will be using the senses a lot more for those. I'll be as careful as I can when writing it...
I like the premise, it opens up a wide veriety of writing styles for you to try. Other than a few small errors here and there (all of which could be avoided with a proof reader) I think that you wrote an interesting opening chapter. Keep it up!
So here's part two, Celestia's story. I know there's a few things I've alluded to and some questions I've left unanswered, but rest assured, answers will be forthcoming.
I think that when I do this first-person narration I'm going to use this format - italicized text for thoughts, normal text for the narrator's speech, and indented text for other ponies.
As before, please feel free to comment, offer suggestions and (constructively) criticize. Also, if there's any pony you'd like to hear from in the future, let me know and I'll be happy to include them in the story.