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How bad do things have to be to resort to something as dangerous as time travel?
For Twilight, the line is an apocalypse. A world of fear and despair forged by years of failures. Years where she got nowhere. She doesn't know what caused it, or how to stop it. She doesn't even know where to look.
None of that matters anymore, though.
She's out of time.
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I assume that we’ll find out what caused this problem eventually
What a chilling story. This is what happens in the world when we stop being ourselves.
I am definitely intrigued, that's for sure. Here's hoping Twilight solves the mystery and finds a solution.
...That being said, I kinda have a gut feeling that her time-traveling will wind up being what causes the Elements' disappearance.
So the elements are failing or lossing their effects and or ponies are simply in their hearts choosing to throw out the valves of harmony but won't say it resulting in the element's sling their valve. I may be wrong.
Well this looks familiar. Glad you decided to publish it!
I... must say though, that's a pretty un-dramatic description for this cool of a story
10109557
Descriptions are hard!
I swear I've been meaning to write this story for months but I kept accidentally getting into rhythms of daily updates to other stories so I never had time
10109584
I feel your pain. My description really only covered the details of the immediate beginning of the story but as i write i realize it does not cover the larger story all that well. I am still at a loss on how to write my description better.
10110683
yea stories where I don't have it all planned out beforehand have a real tendency to go off the rails and away from the initial idea. Keeping scale appropriate is one of the things I'm still having to work at. It's tough. Honestly tho depending on the length of a story, trying to encapsulate all of the twists and turns gets a lot less important than just laying out the groundwork for the story. I figure that so long as I can make everything flow together properly, it won't be an issue.
to my understanding of what events that transpired
Kindness, to her knowledge it started here
Generosity/Honesty at the same time
Loyalty
assuming, magic is next or last
10110717
Well i had a pretty clear plan for my story but, I did not want the desc. to spoil too much into the fine details. In fact I left out one of the 2 main characters all together as He is not suppose to be introduced until chapter 5 where he essentially provides a solution to the initial problem but, ends up providing a bigger problem that is, in turn, the main story arch.
I left it vague so that once you get to that part you end up truly invested by how the 2 main characters are going to get their lives back on track.
10110866
yea I get that for sure. Don't wanna spoil a cool reveal. To me things like that tend to come down to whether I prefer keeping the character's significance under wraps, or attracting readers who like that character by tagging them. It's a tough choice.
10110878
Well so far I have liked the read. Feel free to swing by and give my story a shot too. Maybe we could bounce some ideas off one another.
10111089
glad you're enjoying it! I'll keep yours in mind but honestly I don't actually read that much (hard to focus on) so I can't make any promises
10111155
fair enough. If it helps the chapters are short spiels and there is a bit of action that happens from time to time. so far only one significant battle scene exists but that is always subject to change.
I love this
Can't wait to read more
what's the word for that typical time traveling trope where it turns out you going back in time is what caused the event in the first place?
10112152
Thanks Cy! ^w^ Glad to hear it. I'm actually a few chapters ahead with this story (instead of writing and then immediately publishing like the last few stories) and I gotta say, I'm really excited to get these chapters out.
10112169
Uh I think it's Bootstrap Paradox.
10112307
thanks.
are sure this isn't a mystery, cause this seems very mysterious to me.
I also don't know where your going with this and that only intrigued me further.
This really seems like a hopeless situation for Twi, huh? No leads, no clue what's going on while she's losing her friends...
Hope things pick up a little for her after this, but I don't know if I should get my hopes up
10113888
I've been thinking about if I should add the mystery tag. I probably should, honestly. It's not exactly gonna become less of a mystery.
I suspect it's less "whoever's doing it is trying harder because they saw two Twilights" and more "there's two Twilights".
I just started reading this today. What I would have done at the very beginning was get sunset shimmer. She is kind of a 7th element and could possibly make a difference.
This reminds me a bit about the electrified fence training in paranoia. If only one tries to climb the fence they die. If the whole team goes at the same time they just get a jolt. Maybe the fewer affected the stronger the effect.
key word:chaos
Where's Discord, in this timeline.
Well that's not good.
You know, strictly going by the story's title, I'm a little surprised there isn't a Pinkie Pie tag.
Can i take a wild guess is say that shadow pony is her pinkie pie.
I have no evidence to back this up, except for the name of the title.
Twilight, you let a book get kidnapped, damaged, or worse. How will you forgive yourself? You could always go back in time and take the book. It is a short trip and a guaranteed closed loop as it would make the book not be there. You wouldn't even have another multiple Twi problem.
shit, not my best pony. Well maybe she's just on a long bathroom break, best to remain optimistic.
If she is gone, then I hope Rarity doesn't survive this as well.
Oh, finally, a slim chance for a potentially maybe positive development! That sure took long enough
Uh, I'm talking about the book, not about AJ
maybe the villain just likes trolling victims, not the first time I've seen a villain do things that make no sense to anyone but him.
The joker form batman being one famous example of a troll villain.
Wait...I think I know what changed if twilight from the future said that they were immune to the sudden sadness epidemic and they were overheard by the individual responsible then the villain would target them first. Which means whoever's behind this was at in the area when the announcement was made.
Take three? Looks like take 2 didn't work. This time go further back and ask Fluttershy about the book.
there's a lesson here somewhere about something, just can't figure it out yet.
I think my heart was just ripped apart from the inside at the dilemma between Fluttershy and Twilight. That was horrifying. And so well written. This was an incredible work. I loved it.
10124517
Something about destructive self sacrifice being toxic I think.
10124679
And we're not done yet.
A peaceful, albeit melancholy, conclusion.
Truth be told, that was a far happier ending than what I was expecting. After the penultimate chapter, I kinda suspected that after she sucked the Elements out of herself, Twilight would ultimately use the magic to make everypony else feel as empty as she did (just like the character in the book), becoming the villain that caused the cataclysm in the first place. But, well, I was wrong, and I am perfectly okay with that.
Either way, this was a fun read from start to end. Kudos!
10126144
Thanks! ^w^
That's not a bad theory tbh. And hey, who knows what caused the initial scenario in the prologue. (Well, I knows. It's not written down, though, so that doesn't matter.)
Aw heck, Leaf, why do all your time shenanigans stories have such bittersweet endings?
Anyway, this was a great read. Keep it up!
10126663
Hey, Twilight hates it for a reason. Stuff's bad news.
Thanks, tho! ^w^ Glad you enjoyed it.
WTF IS GOING ON! I NEED TO KNOW!
Damn good hook m8.
Holy fuck this was good and this is coming from a guy that hates time travel stories for a reason.
But come on they deserved a happy ending. They really did.
welp, there goes Honesty
Twilight really had a hard time throughout all of this. Great story, though! Keep up the good work!
Have a review!
Feels a little rushed the ending