Sunset Shimmer's team up with the Dazzlings to seek revenge backfires, turning them into Spike's slaves.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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What's Iron Will got to do with this?
10111073
He's been transformed by Nightmare Night too and decided to take advantage like the Sirens; it's a monster-eat-monster world now!
That got weirdly meta at the end. Not my favorite thing, but okay. Wouldn’t mind seeing more of this world eventually. I did notice a couple errors, by the way.
hairy
he
10111372
Understandable, although the series started with meta elements in The Fourth Siren as a reaction to some of Sunset's nastier fanbase who complain if you give her any real flaws post redemption (I liked her pre Rainbow Rocks so probably have a very different view of her than most); that aspect was largely abandoned in the first sequel, but I wanted to resurrect it at the end.
I also want to write more in this world, but hesitate to since readers love to hate spam unrelated fics with dislikes every time I do, which just reinforces my low opinion of her most hardcore fanbase. But I do love my horror and exploitation, so it will likely happen; another reader has requested another tale set in a similar continuity and I'd love to fulfill it eventually!
And thanks for pointing out the errors, I'll fix them when I can!
nice work
10111874
Thank you, and thanks for reading!
Any plans of having Spike dominate the rest of the EG MAne 6?
10116765
None at the moment, but it could happen eventually. Still, don't want this series to get too repetitive, and feel Spike doing the other mane six would be a different flavor of the same thing.
kinda lost the thread near the end in all that author tract.
10134282
That's fair, the message was ultimately what inspired this series; I simply used my annoyance with the direction one of my favorite characters has taken as fuel for some clop!
I didn't care for the meta at the end. I was hoping that Spike would wined up more (post-modern) were-wolf style. intelligent, savage, able to speak and plan, be the MASTER for a change instead of gaining a new one in Iron Will. I see that as a down grade to the intelligence he has shown after being able to speak human. Other then all that I would like to see more of this Universe of Nightmares (I think Nightmare-verse is taken). I enjoy your work and am looking forward to more. (I found you through Spikes Harem series).
10195902
Part of the kink for me is seeing the 'perfect' Sunset dehumanized, which is why Spike is so animalistic. Also why the meta is there in this series; I've gotten some complaints about my Sunset portrayals in older stories, since I mixed in parts of her old characterization, and took a shot at how they've borderline ruined her imo by taking away all her flaws without giving her a strong core personality. (Initial Sunset might be a cliche, but I can definitely tell you who she is. New Sunset? Whatever the writers currently want her to be!)
I may write more in this universe though, thanks for reading!
10196460
I loved this story and can see clearly you've taken the piss with this story
10238040
Thank you! Always trying to keep my stories fresh!
This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!
------ Review ------
Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Good to see Sunset getting some payback for the previous story, even if I hadn't read them in the right order the first time around.
-Why did Sunset get naked, and where did the second collar come from?
-
“It only effects females,”
-- affects.-Having the narrator degrade Sunset makes it weird, makes me doubt what the narrator says.
-Extremely rushed toward the end.
-A lot of things here seem quite random, without any deeper purpose behind them. And that's fine, I guess, if that's all this story wants to do.
------ Scores ------
To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 65/100
Allure: 55/100
Enticement: 70/100
Immersion: 70/100
Prose Quality: 89/100
Total Score: 349/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.
Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!