Dusk Shine is tired. He's scarred, battle-hardened, and young, but more than any of those, just tired.
Nopony deserves to suffer through what he has endured, much less at such a young age, but what happens when he finds his place in the canon Equestria? Where sunshines and rainbows are everywhere.
Will this new world heal him or will the striking similarities to his once-happy world break the stallion under the weight of what he's lost?
Read on to find out.
RGRE, will be obvious as each chapter progresses
Edited by Sober. Cool dude, check him out.
Cover art made by Mix-up This guy, is great. Awesome drawings, go check him out.
Chapters (17)
well you got me curious as to where this goes
More please?
I did NOT expect being hit in the feels like that in the first chapter, but it was a good surprise.
?
10202995
Holy crap, I accidentally published chapter 6.
Much smoother than the original 5. Some errors here and there but leagues better. I eagerly await what comes next.
Edit: Do you have a proofer/editor, and do you write on gdocs if not?
10206828
For this story, i don't have an editor.
I mostly write here then edit it in gdocs
Updated and revamped? Excellent. I can't wait to see more.
Interesting retake on the story, well I guess it's better to restart now ten later. Good luck on the rest of your story
I like how you have the original five all in the beginning. Most people just delete them as they go.
Have a great day!!!!!
Well, his introduction is...... different this time. Much more abrupt and not so depressing.
And I liked the old and fuzzy pic more, oh well.
Still waiting for more.
10207259
oh the depressing is still there, it's just not noticeable until later chapters. I realized that shoving angst in the introduction is a bit too... edgy in a way, so imma put some characterization before the angst!
This is one of the funniest things imaginable.
I'm looking Forward to the World building.
RGRE how is it set up Culturally mandated or is it Biological that the birth rates are skewed 1 in every 4 to 6 births is a Stallion and the rest mares?
With Surplus population being mares they would spread out into those areas.
That would have males in them if the numbers were even do to Physical prowess alone if nothing else.
Monogamy would be a recipe for Specie death So Herding.
Even then with the Stallion a protected member of the group would have a lot of soft to hard power depending on how you want to write it.
After all Stallions being nearly half again the size of the mares they couldn't be physically forced to do anything.
With a one to one Birth ratio Culturally RGRE gets a lot more problematic due to again the Strength and sad to say it Expendablity for the Birth ratios.
Liking the rewrite so far :) good job.
10208753
Thank you! i try!
Nice chapter, at lest the buildup is much slower and makes more sense
10208927
Thanks! that's what i'm aiming for
I don't think he wants to go with her and he cannot be forced since he is so strong
10212959
Loneliness alone would drag our Alicorn friend along.
Though the sheer shock of his presence must have had Daring miss the meaning of the Wings.
always great to see more part to this, tho i got to ask did she not see him being a alicorn or did i miss something here, else i hope you keep up the Good work
10212979
I could tell you what happened to his horn but that would be spoilers. I did foreshadow it in the past chapters.
Dont worry, Dusk's still an alicorn.
10212972
true but I think he is too independent to be treated like any other stallion so he'll probably still live in the woods no matter what the ladies say
10212992
ah alright
Someone's asking for a good slap.
10213013
Poor Dusk, the amount of abuse he suffers because of the owl.
I do like that it's Daring who find Dusk, which I think does a better job as demonstrating his still and character and not the CMC, which is overused at this point and seem to have out grown that in the series. Fun chapter. I wonder what's this yellow streak thing DD noticed? I wonder what's the difference gender roles between this Equestria and that of Dusk and how it will clash with his sensibilities?
10213016
Can't wait for Dusk to make it clear as day that he's by no means "weak"
I like how the owl is treating the stallion like a pet. I wonder if Owlowiscious sees Spike and Twilight the same way.
Hrmmmmmm did Dusks horn hide under his mane?
10214308
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
10214314
Hrmm the story says he still has it, maybe she just cant make it out?
10214317
Eh, like I said to the other guy. It would be spoilers if I were to actually tell you what happened to it. It's still there and he can use magic through it but it's a little... unstable
Wait wait, what happened between Dusk casting his magic absorption spell and Daring appearing and dragging him out of there? Is there a scene missing? It certainly seemed as if he was doing something with that spell but nothing? Kinda confused here... Daring's appearance was also very abrupt, and how the hell did she K.O. dusk so easily? Isn't he some kind of fighter and doesn't he have Earth Pony strength? And Magic? How exactly does she manage this again? Suspension of disbelief and all, but just... how?
Better question: With how quick he is to murder anything that looks at him funny, how exactly did Daring NOT get eviscerated by a magic blade or something on reflex when he was already on high alert and under attack? Especially when he apparently had time to struggle to make things harder for Daring before she knocked him out? Seriously, you do NOT spook a combatant when they are on high alert already, instincts can be Deadly, ESPECIALLY when they are not expecting a friendly...
10214419
It was after the absorption spell, those green magic. where i said that he was getting rather dizzy, so he was in somewhat of a lucid state and when he managed to get a grip on himself. It has been a few months to a close year since he saw any civilization so he didn't exactly want to remove his only source of information.
The other reason why he hadn't completely killed the girl was that the owl was gone, Dusk didn't know where the bird was and he couldn't risk leaving because then he and the owl would be lost.
Dusk was struggling and didn't fight back fully was because his body just absorbed very old and very potent magic straight from the unrestrained magic of Everfree, his body wasn't used to such potency making him a bit too slow so he had to bid his time before the attack. Which Owlowiscious stopped by landing on him.
It explained the extra streak in his hair, i didn't want to explicitly state why but it will be shown in a flashback later on
You can really feel the pain and anguish when Dusk thinks back to his ponyville. This guy really needs a damn break. Here's hoping he can heal at some point.
i do so hope you are aiming at a Happy ending here, For dusk seems To really deserve it.
Nice
10214318
Randa-moustache here we come!
Dusk seems like he will need a peaceful place to heal.
Owlowiscious is the best companion one can have. Loyal, firm, but loving and caring all the same.
Interesting premise I’m excited to see where this story goes!
If the mares swarm him, it's just going to harm his first impressions of the townsfolk, or even Equestria as a whole. Hopefully Pinkie has enough common sense.
Things are going to be awkward...
Well the meeting finally happened now I wonder if the Mane 6 with actually have crush on him or not or that this will create a whole host of there complications that Dusk with groan about for years to come.
I was listening to this when reading the first part of this chapter.
Seemed to fit well, for me at least.
To the author - i'm totally surprised this story got a make over!
the new version is a lot more interesting.
did you just make a reference to Hamilton the musical!?!
although i would've loved dusk giving diamond tiara the what for well i guess you'll have to wait until my fic comes out then;)
Noooo why did you stop it there?
this entire chapter can be summed up with this line.
derpicdn.net/img/2013/6/15/348994/medium.gif