Midnight Pirates

WDGaster

WDGaster #1 · Jan 17th, 2020 · · 1 · Chapter 1 - The Curse of Nightmares ·

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First

Silver Butcher

Silver Butcher #2 · Jan 17th, 2020 · · · Chapter 2 - A Cakes Big Day ·

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10039014
Congratulations.

laofuzi

laofuzi #3 · Jan 20th, 2020 · 1 · · Prologue - The Day the world went to Shit. ·

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Twilight and the Main 6 had gone to Canterlot after a summon and had sent him a letter saying some Cosmic event was happening that was impossible or something, Spike had stopped lost track of the letter before finishing it due to a poorly timed sneeze.

You need to get some Benadryl, bra!

"Say no more," He said with a smile, before their conversation could continue or end the Train lurched hard and the 5 ended up piled over each other, the rest of the carts residents having similar problems, some ending up on the floor.

Is that conductor freakin' drunk or something?!!

"That's not a think that's suppose to happen right?" Limestone demanded, having never really gone on a train before.

Why? Is she afraid the train vibrations and the fast speed would cause her to go into mental fits and hysteria?

"Alright lets try this," Vinyl said as she started sweating, her dome grew tentacles as began lashing out, whenever it touched a pony they where encase and the dome got bigger. The train grinded to a halt and the final count for the dome was around 9 or so, Spike looked over at Red heart who was holding onto Derpy who's left arm was broken, Spike and Gabby where now being held tightly by a scared Yona, who's friends hadn't been in the same train car. Spike managed to also pick out Scootaloo in the mess, tightly holding onto Pumpkin cake, who was crying out for a mother and a father who where both missing from the dome, he noticed that Pound cake was also missing but heard no crying elsewhere and silently hoped the young cake had been on an early train with one of his parents, the mess number of creatures rushing to Canterlot was massive so he could buy that they had been separated. Before Spike could look around something caught his and everypony else eye as the heap of bodies laying below them had movement in it. The dome slowly crawled down to the floor that had been a wall mere moments ago. As soon as the Dome hit the ground it poped like a Balloon and they all fell over, Spike pulled himself out and saw Vinyl laying on the heap and immediately helped his savior up, The rest of the survivors slowly got to their respective hooves and feet and began looking for the movement they had noticed. Spike looked down at Vinyl, her glasses had fallen off in the fall but otherwise she seemed fine, just exhausted.

You just HAD to say 'derailed', didn't you, Gabby??!!

"My sister Maud," She said quietly before pointing to the one that had been crushed "My Sister Marble," Braeburn stood in silence as Limestone stared blankly at the wreck that has claimed the lives of her siblings.

(Thinking) Talk about hitting rock bottom...

"FUCK!" Spike screaming getting their attention as he held his tail gingerly as he tried not to cry "Oh I'm gonna feel that for weeks,"

Sure beats dying under another possible mudslide though!

"Dam," Limestone said as she looked up at the fire "That should get some atten-" Limestone cut off when the ground began shaking violently again, Gabby and Vinyl fell over as Braeburn hugged the wall, Limestone fell into Derpy, who yelled in pain as she fell on her broken arm, Scootaloo Held Pumpkin tightly as she pushed her back into mountain wall, Yona stood firm threw the shaking and called out.

Me and my big mouth!!

"What just happened?"

Sh!t happened...

Silver Butcher

Silver Butcher #4 · Jan 20th, 2020 · 1 · · Chapter 4 - Easiest Prison Break ever ·

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10042713
OK, wow I find some of this to funny.

(especially that Rock Bottom one)

laofuzi

laofuzi #5 · Jan 20th, 2020 · · · Chapter 1 - The Curse of Nightmares ·

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"Silver Mask Skin that one, I want his scales for my new gauntlets,"

"How original," Spike said with an eye roll and Iron Maw smiled.

Do you also want him to be your personal tobacco pipe lighter too??

"Don't be silly," Iron Maw said with a laugh "Why would I get in bed with an ugly ass mug like yours,"

I'll have you know that Vinyl has the most tenderest ass in Ponyville!

"Sup bitches?" Vinyl and Spike asked, There bodies were black as night, there eyes and mouth glowing orange, their clothes where all dark purple and shimmering with light. Vinyls Peg leg was also glowing orange and Spike's hook was glowing orange as well. Iron Maw and Silver Mask stared at them in horror. and the two smiled at each other.

Dead Mares Tell no Tales

"Bang," Vinyl said and the energy shot from her finger and into Iron Maw's skull, his body fell on to the desk like a brick and she looked over at Spike who was holding Silver Mask. "Hey Spike," She said getting his attention as she pointed to the door.

Guess he really did regret not tasting that sweet ass after all! Well, time to throw this turkey into the oven!

"Oh hell yeah," Spike smiled as he pulled Silver Mask out of the room, screaming for mercy "Attention Midnight Pirates, I will now be showing you all the right ways to skin someone alive,"

Step One: Clamp their eyes open first, so they can enjoy the show!

laofuzi

laofuzi #6 · Jan 20th, 2020 · 1 · · Chapter 2 - A Cakes Big Day ·

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Braeburn had a Bandanna covering his muzzle and a Black and white Cowboy hat, he had huge poncho full of bullet holes over his tan long sleeves shirt and had blue jeans and cowboy boots, to complete his western bandit look he had two gun holsters with revolvers that only really worked when it was night. As the two looked around Braeburn found a prize and immediately jumped back in disgust at what it was. Scootaloo came to investigate and saw what he had found, a horse cock dildo hidden in a box under one of the beds, there was a moment of silence before Scootaloo spoke up.

What kind of weapon operates only at night time??!! What if he gets attacked during day time?! And who keeps a dildo in a treasure room?!!

"Weren't they all guys?" She asked looking at Braeburn who simple nodded.

Maybe they were just saving it for somepony really special

"Keep searching, we need as many gems as we can find to get Spike to put the effort into making a good pizza," as the two continued on their quest Gabby, Time Turner, and Pumpkin where on the ship relaxing.

Hopefully without fried weevils and fleas this time

Time Turner was wearing a white Button up shirt, a Bow tie, a pair of nice Blue jeans, and a pair of Fuzzy Rainbow slippers with metal spiked bottoms.

Where did he get these slippers, a Rainbow Dash convention?!

"Iron maw may have had a butt stuff rule," Scootaloo said as she noticed Vinyl, "Like a mandatory butt stuff rule," Spike smiled at that.

God, I hope he at least carried anti-syphilis syringes!

"Please don't," Time Turner groaned "You two are gonna die of Alcohol poisoning again,"

Or worse, do something fatally stupid while drunk

"Man our family fucked," Limestone noted as she watched the exchange. Spike looked at Limestone then turned to the pile of bodies.

Not as much as yours...

"Don't be a smart ass," She replied "Try all you want your not pulling me into your Harem.

Jealous???

"Alright I think we all know why were here," She pointed to Pumpkin then to Scootaloo "Scootaloo's finally called the suicide hot line after 12 years,"

And that's why I bring up jokes about your dead family...

"Oh Red Heart," Derpy said with a pout "If you want I can stab myself and you can operate on me?"

We're not playing Operation: Live Edition! It always ends with a painful tetanus shot!

"You lucky bitch," Scootaloo said with a head shake "Only hat I have is a dam sombrero, and I'm not about to wear that." Pumpkin pulled the next gift to her and opened Yonas, it was a old Equestrian History book.

You would've made a good bandito

"MAKE A WISH!" Pumpkin closed her eyes for a moment then tossed the stick onto the boxes and watched as the fire spread rapidly, once the fire started Braeburn and Spike where helped to their feet, Braeburn had several broken teeth and one of his eyes hanging out of his socket, Spike was bleeding like crazy, it got worse when the machete was pulled from him.

Reminds me of that Immortality Resort from "Rick and Morty"

laofuzi

laofuzi #7 · Jan 20th, 2020 · · · Chapter 3 - The Storm, the Yak, and the Cannon ·

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---But Limestone and Yona had accidentally killed themselves with a botched attempt to turn a grenade into a firework

DDAAMMMN, premature detonation!!

The ship's name was the Midnight Ride III and they'd had it for about 5 or so years. As a result of it's large size and small crew the ship never moved quite like it should since all the requirements to get it going couldn't be met at once.

Whatever happened to Midnight Ride I and II? If they were smaller sloops or schoons than the others, they should've kept those instead moving to a bigger ship! At least find some slaves, missionaries or marooned creatures to add to your crew first!

...when the moon rose and the curse took affect, Derpy turned black as Night, her Eye turned orange and so did her mouth, her Eye patch and the rest of her clothes turned Purple but the Googly eye and earring turned orange.

Beware of the Cursed Googly Moogly!

Blackness swirled around them for a moment and Yona and Limestone's body pulled the blown apart corpses back together.

I could just imagine Yona and Limestone being just a pair of hovering horns or hands, or maybe just a floating emaciated torso
https://youtu.be/zOzeuHWQ5YQ?t=81

"We packing up, loot what you want from this useless rock, if your not on the ship in 20 minutes you suck"

AND you'll be a total maroon!

He Marked in and found his cooking crew, about 30 or so Mice that he had trained to help with the cooking, everyone was usually poisoned by his cooking in someway, but that just made eating more fun.

Must be from all those rat droppings!

"No you can't go into the kitchen," Red Heart said as she looked into a habitat with a large number of Mice living in it "These mice are much healthier than Spike's diseased rats, not offence to Lewis of course he's a fine co-chef but he and his crew do have a history of poisoning us," Barney hooted at her and she frowned. "Keep talking like that and you'll only get one Mouse for dinner,"

Man, since when did Ratatouille had suddenly become so dark?

"Iron maw had some Mary Jane in his stash," Derpy replied "Want some?"

I would've called it Whacky Tobaccy

"Lets focus on something else, Spike's like the ships whore at this point, maybe you could lose your virginity to him?"

"Naw," Pumpkin sighed "He said my first time should be with someone I care about," Scootaloo nodded.

Plus, she prefers un-barbed dicks

"Maybe as your second time, Yona has a habit of killing her partner in the bed, Braeburn listed it as his personal favorite way to die," Pumpkin pouted as Scootaloo tried to pick from the remaining crew.

DEATH BY SNU SNU!!

Braeburn? No...no he's only into Buffalo's and Yaks."

He really likes the vibe of rape-play with an indigenous species

"Well make a day of it," Limestone said with a smile "We can Cut Spikes head off and to top it off you can rut Braeburn to death while I play with Spike's dead body," Yona raised a brow and she elaborated "Not that kind of play, I was thinking of having tea with it, just a nice quiet drink with my best friend who never shuts up," Yona chuckled at that.

Maybe hold a corpse puppet show with his torn body, like that film director from Frisky Dingo or Johnny Cage's ventriloquist corpses
https://youtu.be/w33SyVSCx8Y?t=95
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=234KhxUWeNI

"Yeah, I'll probably be decapitated the second where out of danger,"

And probably be used as a sex toy or soccer ball!

"Useless ass Camo-Spell,' Vinyl screamed as Cannons ball's injected themselves into their ship.

I think the target galleon's got seekers on deck! Would've been spotted even if the spell HAD been successful!
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/callofduty/images/b/b1/Seeker_Grenade_menu_icon_IW.png/revision/latest?cb=20170122141744

Pumpkin and Red Heart kept firing while Gabby and Derpy screamed insults at their enemies, until a Canon call went threw Derpies Pillar and fell onto the deck

TIIMMMBBBBEEEERRRRR!!!!!!

"Incapacitate them!" The Three screamed as non-lethal electricity ran threw there bodies. "Separate them, contain them, and prepare them for processing,"

I'm getting Destiny Vibes
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/destinypedia/images/3/3c/D2_pvp_action_09.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/340?cb=20170531052132

laofuzi

laofuzi #8 · Jan 21st, 2020 · 2 · · Chapter 4 - Easiest Prison Break ever ·

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Yona recoiled as a harsh light woke her from her from being he unwilling sleep, She was strapped to a table, she didn't try struggling as most would as she was hard core strapped in, ever inch of her body bellow her neck had a strap on it, even her hooves had their own special straps.

Guess they're not taking any chances...

"It is not hope oh simple Yak, It is fact," The Colt held his hands up, every word he spoke making Yona like him a little less. "We posses knowledge your feeble little mind couldn't hope to understand, You and all other like you are a cancer, this is why the Princesses broke the world, for they where saving the pure and discarding the rest, but we have seen the light and will prove ourselves pure to them by cutting the cancer from this world and-"

Cut the religious crap, nerd! You really think she would do this after 1000 years of peaceful rule?!

"You are Douche," Yona called before he was gone from her sight, as she moves she waited in silence, this being her 2nd time in an outpost she already knew where she was going and it would be boring as hell. After what felt like forever Yona came to a rest in a large room, several other creatures could be seen in similar situations to her, she spied a Minotaur crying for his mother as he pulled on his restraints and a Griffin in a glass jar overhead desperately trying to claw her way threw it, then she spotted a glass jar a little ways from her and a grin spread on her face.

What kinda jigsaw lab have we gotten ourselves into?!

Scootaloo pressed a button and the two glass jar's rolled to the side, knocking Spike and the Griffin over, the side opened where armed guards would usually then taser them but instead Spike got out and the Griffin took a shaky step on the ground as Scootaloo cut the Minotaur free. "Any way the Riot is going strong, lets steal a boat and..." The second he was free the Minotaur shoved Scootaloo to the side and rushed for the door, they watched him leave and turned to the griffon who was shaking in fear,"

YOU'RE WELCOME!!!

"Spike you already have a hundred rats and that one Mare locked up in your room at home,"

Rarity??!

"Don't worry," Yona said sweetly "Yona take you home with her, you have comfy bed, food every day, and if anything hurts you Yona will break their everything," as Yona rocked the shaking griffin back and forth like a baby Scootaloo turned to Spike.

Just don't break the pain away with more pain...

"Oh no, that poor dumb-ass," Scootaloo said with a head shake as the Minotaur ran the the exit, they watched as he made it threw the door way and without hesitation every pony guarding the wall filled him with lead.

Godamit, Leroy!!!

"Eh, a few of 'em might bite it but the rest'll just get knocked out with darts or something, either that or they'll over take the base, if they do that I'll come back and personally give each and every one of them a piece of candy," Scootaloo turned the corner, slid to a stop and jumped out of the way as several darts flew past her.

Maybe add them to your crew once you hijack a bigger ship

"I love all of you,!" Spike shouted out "If you manage to take this Outpost in our name Scootaloo shall give you all a piece of candy!" A cheer rang out and when Spike added. "I am also available for Sexual favors if any mares are interested, just putting that out there," The group sat back and watched as the Riot kicked up to high gear.

Spike, some of them may have contracted STDs from the other guards/prisoners!

"Yona is excited to get home," She said as she gently rocked the Griffin in her arms, the Griffin was no longer shaking as much but was still plenty terrified, "Yona shall call you Galla until you are not stricken mute with fear," As the riot when on around them Spike yawned.

You just took your griffon friend's male name and feminized it!

"Everything you do to me I shall do to you only slower," Spike said before rushing forward and headbutting the Guard. The Guard tried to fire again but was distracted when the force of Spikes headbutt pushed him back into the flaming box, Spike watched as the Guard screeched and dropped to the ground to roll, Spike shook his head before taking a deep breath and Spiting out a torrent of flames on the Guard who screamed in agony as Spike walked away. "Have fun cooking," Spike said with a wave as he walked back to the mares just as a mare screamed out.

STOP, DROP AND DIIIEEE!!!!!

"Alright everyone else go help with the Docks, and you," he Pointed to the Mare "Please wait here While I go commit mass genocide so I can sleep with you faster, feel free to invite any of these mares that might be your friend to wait with you," Spike turned and most of the mares followed after him, most looking irritated or disappointed, to go help with the docks.

Man, you ARE a bad dragon! From Flammenwerfer to ÜberflammenRakteren!

"I use to fucking know Twilight," Scootaloo spat back as the Moon began to rise, "I knew her before she became a Princess, Fuck that Dragon is her adopted brother!" The Crowed behind her went wild as the Bullet came out of her leg and she got back to her feet.

I always see her as Spike's adopted mother

"But guess what?" Scootaloo held up hand to the Commanders face as the sound of shattering glass could be heard from behind the cult line "This is for killing the Minotaur without warning!" before she could move the Commanders Head exploded as an orange gauntlet with two knifes welded to it flew threw her skill and onto Scootaloo's hand.

You should've aimed for the head like she did!

"No talk shit about Yonas Griffin," She said angry as she squeezed him harder, the pony tried to say something but Yona Dropped him a little and put her hands on his head, he looked at her in horror before she squeezed and with no effort crushed the Ponies head like a grape, there was a long silence as Yona let the ponies body drop to the ground, she looked around before turning to the nearest Prisoner who stood very still.

Who else needs a melon popping!??

"Then get you asses out here and help us take this dam place for the God's!"

Or else NO candy for you!!

laofuzi

laofuzi #9 · Feb 16th, 2020 · · · Chapter 5 - An old ship and an old story ·

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"It's only a 14 hour round trip, We'll be arriving at the Manehattan Eastern Sky island in about 20 minutes, so stop complaining and buck up! You drew the short straw and Spike isn't back from doing whatever the fuck he, Yona, and Scootaloo have been doing at the outpost for the last week so...deal with it," Pumpkin groaned as she lay back in her seat. She had brought a book but had finished it an hour ago and wasn't about to re-read the novel so soon. Braeburn looked down at her and sighed, "Be good while where shopping and I'll buy you two new books, so the return trip won't be as bad.". Pumpkin grumbled, before ~~and~~ Braeburn added, "We can also get ice cream". Pumpkin pepped right up after that response.

Wait, there's still bookstores and ice cream shops in the apocalypse?

"Guess I can skim the interesting parts again" she said as she grabbed her discarded book and flipped threw it. His companion, the distracted Braeburn, turned his attention to the floating islands that could just be seen in the distance, as it was the closest thing to a civilized place left in the world, mostly due to the high number of Unicorns running the place. The fact that it was completely unapproachable from it's far eastern side may have helped too. Braeburn looked over the island to the massive wall of storming water less than a quarter mile from the east side of the city and smirked at it. It extended far into the distance in both directions, but it wasn't endless, though it was impassible. Even from his vantage point, he could see the never-ending storm that surrounded the water, waves twice the size of the Midnight Ride III, electricity sparked threw the clouds and the water, whirlpools swirled threw the water and countless twisters ran across the water. ~~and~~ If none of that killed you, an invisible barrier hidden in the storm would burn any boat and its crew to ash without the proper counter spell. He looked at the chaos before Pumpkin spoke up.

Reminds me of the artificial hurricane barrier used to hide a secret research lab island from "Gears of War 3"

"What the hell?" Pumpkin turned back to the Manehattan island and found what Braeburn was looking at: an old Storm King airship was docked in the Manehattan port; it was beaten to hell and looked as though it was about to fall from the sky.

(((🔔))) ALL HOOVES ON DECK!! Prepare to fire abroad side!!!

Starlight Nova