• Member Since 23rd Mar, 2017
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Lonely Fanboy48


E

Luster Dawn has made so many friends, she can remember almost every single one of them but when she saw a colt who’s all alone, she knew he needed some help. She talks to her teacher about him which made Twilight remember her past. It’s been a long time since she last met him and it surprises her it took this long until this day happened.

Thanks to Daniyel099 for editing this.
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/292246/Daniyel099

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 7 )

which made Twilight remembered her past.

Fixed that for you...

10218125
Took care of that. Thanks.

This is pretty good! I really love the story told here, I never really thought about Star Tracker after the events of "Once Upon A Zeppelin" but it makes sense that he would have been impacted one way or another.

The technical aspects of the writing could use a bit of work. There are times in the story that felt a little awkward stylistically. You might benefit from a beta reader. That being said, I can tell you put work and care into it, so don't take that as me trying to say it's badly written. It's definitely not ^.^.

Overall an enjoyable read with an interesting idea. Keep it up!

“Not completely true.” Tracker responded. “I did make friends when I was a teenagner, but considering we are older, we decided to go our own way in life.”

Still a nice lil read anyway.

Aww thats a nice read poor star tracker I do hope he does find somebody

I’m a little confused.

Login or register to comment