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Team Fortress 2 x My Little Pony

MLP comes to TF2 instead of the usual other way around. Mr. Frost is the Australian who made My Little Pony in this world. There will be some shipping, both box type and love type.

Chapters (2)

First Half-Day · 8th Jan 2020 · 6,983 words
6,983
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Second Half-Day · 16th Jan 2020 · 12,856 words
12,856
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Comments ( 3 )

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RDgamer321

RDgamer321 #1 · Feb 5th, 2020 · · · First Half-Day ·

Is there multiple POV's for the ponies? It seems like a lot of the scenes just sound like repitition. It would make a little more sense if the point of views were swapped every time there is a shift. Say first Twilight, then Fluttershy, etc.

It's not obvious that the point of view changed and it led to me thinking time was shifting at random.

Vietmane Veteran

Vietmane Veteran #2 · Feb 13th, 2020 · · · First Half-Day ·

10069847

(Alright, no need to get out the pokeball. I’d just burst out anyway. Alright, once the story reaches the ponies, it will be multiple views over the same course of time. The importance of this isn’t that visible in the first chapter, but as chapters go on, everypony will be doing their own stuff, eventually meeting together by the end of the day. Hope my gabbering was helpful.)

Does this work?

RDgamer321