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Trixie Lulamoon has more reasons than most ponies to resent impossible magics.
But it's nothing else anypony else has to know.
Especially not that pesky Twilight Sparkle.
There is a reading by ObabScribbler which you can check out here! Set sometime after Season Three's episode 'Magic Duel'. Given a spoiler-filled review and recommendation by PresentPerfect. However, it occurs shortly after 'Magical Mystery Cure'. Contribute to the TVTropes page!
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Moo
10023588
Erm, okay? Why is this in my comment section?
That cover art is terrifying.
10023591
Because I couldn't think of what else to put that wasn't a generic good story
10023595
Thank you! I'll be taking that as a compliment.
10023597
As well you should! Did you draw it?
10023599
No, I'm not that good. I did link the source if you would like to check it out, though.
10023596
Well, alright then. Though, 'good story' is always fine. 'Moo' doesn't offer me much context.
10023607
Well other then being somewhat silly
10023607
OK. I'll be reading too, BTW. It's on my list.
10023631
Nice! I look forwards to any comments.
I'm a little surprised that this doesn't have a dark tag.
10023654
I didn't feel it matched the description of a story matching the dark tag by either my writing standards for a dark story or the site's description of a dark tag. There's a lot of turmoil and regret in it, so more sad than drama and the like, but Trixie isn't in any particularly unsafe situations or traditionally dark ones. It's not too much darker than asking 'What if X had been changed about my life?' only X was something that was generally considered mundane. I think the teen tag and sad one cover this nicely. Especially the teen tag.
10023636
Twilight really never gives the impression she knows how good she's got it, does she?
10023682
Yep! It's something both frustrating and interesting about her. On one hand, it makes it feel safe to cheer for her and want her to be happy, on the other hand, she can have some more spoiled vibes in certain situations. Or, at the very least, she could be understandably ignorant of them. Twilight isn't at fault for anything in this story, but Trixie's projecting isn't without a truth.
Thank you for reading!
10024046
What's this supposed to mean?
10024072
Ignore that guy
10024109
I normally would ignore anyone I felt was spamming my comment section, if that's what you mean to imply. I just can't tell if this is meant to be a spam comment, a placeholder to edit later, or something else. I figure that letting them explain first is better than rushing to an assumption.
10024111
Spam, know from experience
10024113
Well, thanks for the heads-up. I don't delete comments unless they're bots or explicitly break site rules, so I'll just leave this one be.
...
10024161
Oh gosh, not to be rude but I already got a comment that was just punctuation marks, and another user informed me it was spam. This doesn't happen to be spam, right?
10024387
That doesn't really explain what I'm supposed to take your initial comment as. Also, you can report people for that.
This is a perfect story with perfect characters and a perfect written theme. You should have this published as a physical book and become a full time writer. Anyone who says otherwise should raped till they die.
10024394
Well, please leave a comment that isn't just punctuation marks next time, I guess? There's really no need to delete things for being asked to clarify what I thought was spam.
It's right next to the seat belt.
In any case, definitely an interesting twist on Trixie, and it definitely works as part of her overarcing theme of ideals over reality. (Mostly the ideal Trixie.) It even puts her cape in a new light; she grew comfortable with having something to obscure her undercarriage.
A powerful little personal moment. I wish I could see Twilight and Trixie discuss the post-ascension adjustment period... assuming Trixie could ever believe anything bad could happen to Perfect Princess Sparkle, and Twilight could believe Trixie was approaching her sincerely. And the less said about Trixie's reaction to Flurry Heart, the better.
Thank you for this.
10024465
Thank you very much for reading and enjoying my story enough to leave a detailed comment!
I wanted to leave it vague if her cape was either for body image issues related to dysphoria, or if she had not yet had bottom surgery at some point. It worked best to let readers decide, and I felt it didn't make too much of an impact to specify.
I'm not sure Trixie would have it in her to project her more envy-born-from-dysphoria streak onto a child. I like to think that she would be completely on board with telling Starlight, even if she never tells Twilight or comes around to doing it directly.
10024171
That passage left me speechless. It's... too true.
10025693
Thank you very much for clarifying. I'm glad (but also rather worried) you got that much mileage out of this little drabbly bit. I'm ftm rather than mtf, but I understand there's a greater looming fear of that I see in trans gals. The line in particular came from something touched on in an Ella Grant video I remember watching and really resonating with me.
10025698
I don't know what I am, outside of lonely and bitter. But I really can understand the terror a girl feels at the sight of the man who she's going to become. Especially when that man has more influence over her development than she does, through her whole childhood.
10025760
I mean, I tried to show Trixie's family loved her, she wasn't controlled (unless you mean by genetics) just afraid of things she saw. Unless, I'm misreading that part of your comment. I was able to find (what I'm very very certain is) the video I mentioned in the last comment. It's right here, though a fair content warning since she's usually very open about talking about suicide and suicidal thoughts a lot.
10025765
I didn't mean they were cruel to her. They were still her guardians though. Her father technically could have remedied the problem the moment she was born, and rationally she understands he didn't know, but she'd still feel resentment for not getting treatment sooner. She also feels guilt for resenting him because the one who had control of her during childhood is very important to her.
I know a lot of fathers worked hard to keep their sons from being led down terrible paths, and those sons who were daughters didn't get to change their fate as early as Trixie did. Is it that way because their fathers are abusive, or is it just that average, everyday decent guys can't deal with the fact that their son doesn't want to grow up to be a man? I've known people coming out as transgender in their 40's, and at that age they're not doing it out of hope for anything good to come of it, just despair that there's no point in denying it anymore.
10025780
Not really? There isn't really a way to tell someone is trans the moment they're born, and Trixie's transition did go well, and she does admit in-story she's essentially a "trans kid" or someone who transitioned very young (as young as ethically possible). There's some stages of transitioning that you have to be at certain ages or stages of development and such to do, and those are usually just the surgeries, which Trixie does mention having to wait for. Trixie doesn't like how her dad looks because she thinks she could have looked like him, not because he's a bad pony. She doesn't hold the same feeling towards her mother because her mother is a mare, but if Trixie were a trans stallion, that line would have been the same, just with the parents reversed.
The one other story I have with Trixie (and the same Trixie too, hence me bringing it up) also has her as a trans mare, and she does state that her family did love her very much and did the best for her, including both parents.
10025798
Yeah I don't know where I picked up a sense of resentment. It's just scarier, because Trixie's father represents not only what she'll become, but who's going to make her that way. She doesn't look at stallions who aren't her father, as if they were where she was headed. He's the one who's holding the wheel, so to speak.
It was pretty clear that she stopped fearing him once she found he and her mother supported her transition. It's just before she knew, he'd be more dangerous for the power he had over her. That's my best guess why your little drabbly bit worked so well because he was her father.
A crying shame, if you ask me. There's no better time for body modding then that stage of life when your body's modding itself!
10025832
Yeah, it’s only because he’s related to her that she has that reaction. She has no siblings, particularly brothers, so she can’t show that reaction to anyone else.
I don't feel like I have too much to add that other people didn't already cover, but
I just wanted to drop by and express the opposite of that sentiment, because I probably would've skipped reading this if I'd known ahead of time it had that kind of thing in it, but when I went in blind it wasn't a big deal at all and I'm glad I wasn't warned. So I'd say you made the right call there, personally.
10026713
Well, it's good to know I've been getting content warnings right. Thank you for reading!
I came for the Ice and the trans.
I left with the Trixie.
Good horse.
10028959
Thank you! I’m glad you liked it.
Neat vignette, capitalizing on a tiny line of the show that becomes quite poignant from a certain point of view.
10063960
It's my job to overthink everything until horsewords fall out.
;-; good fic
thanks
10202442
when the dysphoria hits i make oof fics like this :,)
Thank you for writing this!
10271298
Thank you so very much for reading it! It’s a wonderful surprise!
Came here from the Scribbler reading and i'm glad I listened to the whole thing and, being ftm, I found this weirdly touching for me. The build up to when you realize it made tear up to be honest, which was definitely a first for me since I've never cried while reading stories and fanfics.
I'm definitely giving a follow, this was really nicely written
10347121
Thank you so much for sharing that! I'm FTM myself, and I've written other trans pony stories (including another that got a Scribbler reading and one that has FTM horse). It feels great knowing my trans stories resonate with people, regardless of the character's gender.
Wow, that was amazing. Devastatingly sad, but amazing at doing that.
10382822
I’m glad I was able to wow you with only one thousand words!