After saving Equestria for what seems like the hundredth time, the princesses send the mane six out on a vacation for some well-earned rest and relaxation. When Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle head out for their weekly reading get-together, Twilight discovers something about her friend that Rainbow would rather have kept a secret.
For those wondering about the whole Kaleidoscope thing: the idea was to see how many totally different stories we could all make, all from a single image as the prompt—to see how inspiration manifests in and unique and wonderful ways among a diverse group of writers.
To be edited/rewritten at some point.
Take a look into the Kaleidoscope.
Chapters (1)
I guess I'm a sucker for a good art-centric story. And a prompt w/ a painting in the background was gonna bring those out.
9967908
I agree! We need more stories about art. It's such an unloved topic.
Nice. Dash's artistic side isn't explored nearly enough—especially alongside Twilight~
9968062
Totally! Artistic Dash is a somewhat-but-not-so-secret pleasure of mine. Any pony capable of putting together flight routines must have some modicum of artistic talent.
Very lovely, even if perhaps the interactions are a bit stilted by the word count.
9969084
Thanks! I was almost tempted not to submit it just so I could flesh it out even more. I had to cut so much. Could easily have put another 1-2k words into it. :c
I don't understand why this was downvoted so much. It was a fun little story.
9970372
All of the Kaleidoscope stories were submitted to the site at the same time on Saturday and a lot of people were upset by that. It was not to be unexpected, but it did result in every story receiving a good many downvotes without having been read first.
Thank you for the kind words!
This was cute, and I didn't see the ending coming, which was nice. I agree with some of the other comments here that it could do with more fleshing out - it's clear the word limit constrained you somewhat. Even so, it was a nice little piece.
This is a cute story! It’s really believable that Dash would practice sketching for her tricks, that it’d turn into more artistic sketching, and finally that she’d be embarrassed about it. Her hiding it with another thing she used to be embarrassed about (reading) is a nice touch, too. Twilight’s reaction feels overboard, but I’m glad the story addresses the fact that her attacking Rainbow is not okay.
One structural suggestion I’ll make is that story should start later. The fact that they’re on R&R, what the rest of the mane six are doing, and Dash not sleeping on the airship didn’t tell us much we needed to know, and so could have been cut from the story. To the extent it helped set up things, it could have been summarized in exposition. This would have gotten us to the TwiDash sooner and there’d have been more room for their dialogue and setting the scene.
Speaking of setting the scene, the story does a great job of conveying how lovely Dash’s sketch is. The paragraph that says how each technique conveys a different element is fantastic. Great job!
9972758
Thank you! I may edit/flesh this one out after the contest is over and post it as an "unabridged" chapter or something. I don't know yet.
9974016
This is exactly the sort of feedback I love. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this!
Per your points:
9977146
I liked this, but I definitely agree that Twilight was a little off throughout the whole thing. It's not just the reaction; her earlier comment that Dash might have brought a coloring book to read felt incredibly mean-spirited.
10189371
I didn't see that then, but I absolutely see that now. Ooof. I'll be sure to change that if/when this gets some TLC. Glad you liked the rest of it!