- Member Since 16th Nov, 2019
- offline last seen Nov 6th, 2023
Kasrkin_Wolf
Just a British College student who enjoys a little writing
Kasrkin_Wolf
Joined 16th Nov, 2019 ·
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Where did this come from. I don’t remember u. Oh well. Let’s enjoy this story shall we
me: *2 girls one cup horror flashbacks*
So... Is this going to be like in Fallout: Equestria where the non-Unicorn ponies shoot guns with their mouths?
10662994
I did think of that or another way for them to use guns but i cant think of a logical way for me to include that aspect into my story, but im open to ideas
This story so far seems kinda interesting, but the pacing being all over the place makes it kinda difficult to read. At times it drags, others it feels like I'm trying to read while tweaking out on redbull and crack. Consistency is key. Also, lots of grammar errors like misspelled words and names (i.e. "Caydance" instead of the correct "Cadance"), missing punctuation, missing capital letters at the start of sentences, or using the wrong words like using "hear" instead of "here".
Honestly, the biggest problem I have with this story is the atrocious pacing. Please, for the love of all that is good, slow down! 3-4 big events happening in the span of a single thousand word chapter is waaay too fast to be any kind of enjoyable to read. I'd hoped after 2 years it'd get better, but it has not.
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thanks for the feedback, is very much appreciated, as for the pacing issues, its one thing ive been trying to work on in a physical rewrite, but so far its not going too well, and for grammar it doesn't really surprise me as most of the chapters were typed up on a tablet that didn't have auto correct, but it is another issue ive been working on, I'd personally check back with the older chapters in a few months as im trying to extend them and rewrite them (i.e showing more about the operation the original squad were in the middle of, and longer build). if you have anything more to say about my story please contact me on discord Kasrkin_Wolf#7760