Captain Bright Steel awakes after the Canterlot invasion, separated from his unit and unable to remember what happened.
But General Armour, leader of the army of Canterlot and right hoof of Celestia, is there to help him recall.
A very late entry to Fanofmosteverything's Imposing Sovereigns II Contest
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The only one who should be executed here is Shining. Mostly for being a fucking useless cunt of a character here, and in the show for that matter.
I wonder how much of this Celestia would have agreed with? I can't see her signing off on it.
I though Shining Armor was a captain, not a general. Does Equestria even have generals? We've never really seen much of it's military.
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You're right. At that particular point in canon, Shining Armor is the Captain of the Royal Guard. He doesn't become a general until after the Crystal Empire returns and Cadence becomes their ruling princess (as which point, he becomes their prince-consort and general of their armed forces by default).
This is interesting. I legitimately can't tell if this is sheer relief at being alive and free, panic manifesting through manic glee now that Shining can afford to break down a little, or overcompensation by a disguised drone trying to assure Bright Steep that everything is fine. Good ambiguity!
... Excuse me? I assume Shining means the policies of his position and not his tenure as general.
I was ready to dismiss this story as terribly out of character for both Shining and Equestria... but then I got to the end. And then I looked back to see that yes, this does have an AU tag. Brilliantly subtle work, especially going by the other comments thus far. This could have used some more polish, but overall it's a fantastic multilayered mystery. Thank you for it, and best of luck in the judging.
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The AU tag is important here. As is one bit at the end you seemed to have missed:
I liked a lot of the dialogue here—some of Shining’s, early on, was close to reasonable, but just off enough to be unsettling. I agree with FOME that it could have used some more polish, though. I’d consider double-checking the rules for commas, because I think quite a few went missing here.
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Yes, I did miss the implications of that patch.
Carry on, The Seer. As Fan said, this is an intriguing AU. Just needs some polish here and there.
Initially I thought the big reveal was going to be that the changelings had won, or that Bright had been a drone all along, but neither makes sense.
Between Bright's mention of "a queen's flag", the patch, the torture, and Shining Armor acting with a callous hypocrisy that would put Joseph Joffre to shame I'm guessing this is set in some manner of AU where Daybreaker is in charge?
The way the characters swap between Queen and Princess makes it unclear. Overall I do agree with the other reviews that a little too much clarity is lost in attempting to veil the "twist" at the end.
Reminds me of a French general who told condemned men to meet their deaths proudly, because by dying they were setting a valuable example to their fellows regarding the consequences of not flinging yourself pointlessly into machinegun fire. Better almost certain death at the hands of the enemy than certain death at the hands of your own commander.
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Thank you very much for the comments, it's been fascinating to see the interpretations people have had
I wanted to address some of the comments with the caveat that I firmly believe in death of the author and as such this should just be treated as my own interpretation of what is written.
If I'm being totally honest, I didn't see this as an alternate universe in terms of any kind of an out and out 'tyrant celestia'. Its an AU in the sense that the canon is nowhere near this cynical or callous but it's not an AU where the characters are totally different version of themselves, more just exaggerations. I don't think the characters in the show would ever do this, hence the AU, but I also don't think they'd be act any different to the show characters in the scenes seen in the programme. (Celestia can still seem to be a motherly kind figure and shining a caring big brother while doing this) As such, the only twist I'd say the fic has is the reveal of the fact that it's an interrogation.
While I wanted to leave it muddy in terms of how much Shining approved of the decision versus following orders himself he still did it all and I believe still considered it to be overall just and right, if somewhat troubling. The dual insignia to me implies a measure of dual culpability instead of absolving shining and pushing all blame onto Celestia
Shining is a general sentencing his subordinate to death for a crime. From a law and order standpoint he is in the right. Steel's orders were to remain with the standard at all costs, instead he ordered a retreat
Do I consider this to be moral? Of course not, the writing I would hope conveys the fact that I find the judgement and its entire philosophy to be reprehensible and beneath the lowest contempt. For me, at least, this is much more a critique of the evils that persist in a normal society as opposed to one with an evil dictator. Steel broke the rules and is punished, something that happens far too often with little to no consideration of the moral right. If I had written a fic with a tyrant I think itd be significantly less horrifying
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In that case, my point that Shining Armor was not a general at the time of the Changeling Invasion of Canterlot still stands. He was Captain of the Royal Guard. This is show canon, stated by Twilight Sparkle herself within the relevant episodes.
Which would not change the context of his authority over Bright Steel or the fact that Captain Shining Armor was the final arbiter of his punishment in this instance, as Captain of the Royal Guard is the highest ranking position for that particular branch of the Equestrian military. The Royal Guard simply isn't a large enough force to require more than a captain.
While the E.U.P. itself would have generals, and possibly even field martials, they are not part of the same command structure. Which means that, in a state of emergency, in order to consolidate the chain of command and prevent confusion, the Captain of the Royal Guard (in this case Shining Armor) would be considered to have the equivalent rank to a general or field martial, but his rank title either wouldn't change or he'd assume a new temporary rank as Captain-General Shining Armor.
Which is a distinction that doesn't matter for Bright Steel in this case, as a standard bearer is a standard bearer, and Shining Armor was the commanding officer of Canterlot's forces at the time.
I only bring this up because changing his rank would be an additional AU element beyond simply adjusting his personality (which is what you just claimed was all you intended).
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Oh you're correct that's undoubtedly something which is an AU element I wouldn't dispute that at all mate. I wasnt tremendously concerned about specific canonical rank since the contest was about sovereignty in terms of authority figure, so taking it from an AU perspective and putting him in a recognisably high level of authority was easier to tackle.
Those comments about the Equestrian military were very interesting though I didnt know a lot of that!
Bullshit.
I don't even care if it actually is Queen or Princess. Because CAPTAINS ARE NOT BANNERMAN! Standard bearers were important, but they were never high rank.
The rest of the dialogue was too bipolar for me to make sense of. But the ultimate question to me becomes:If punishment is so harsh in this AU, why is a traitor like Shining Armor condemning another to die? Mind control is not a defense in such a draconian regime.
The daybreaker AU makes too much sense, sorry author. The comment about being battle tested for millenia combined with the unique patch at the end seals the deal. Any way you slice it though, it was very cool trying to figure out what was going on, and the answer not being Shining was a changeling.