- Member Since 13th Jan, 2013
- offline last seen 3 hours ago
TheKissoftheVoid
Singer, entrepreneur, dreamer, nerd, occasional author, and very proud of all of it.
TheKissoftheVoid
Joined 13th Jan, 2013 ·
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If you can't establish whether it's consensual or not, it's best to label it with noncon just to be sure.
9913941
Judging from first chapter it's all consensual. Twilight agrees to hypnosis and loss of control. It's also portrayed as actual trance and not mind control magic.
Great writing on the induction; pretty to the point but it covers the bases well enough and Twilight is stated to be uncommonly susceptible.
Well, this is excellent so far~
I just hope that Twilight insists upon calling him "Francis."
I am straight up eager to get to Shining Armor and Twilight. I hope it's sickeningly sweet. But even if the story had ended after the trick, I think this would still be a great fic. I really like when porn has an antagonist.
Simply Fabulous, Darling ;)
This is my favorite chapter of the story. The idea of a hypnotic "villain" as part of what's actually a play session is really very nice, and I'll admit I'd kind of love to see the same sort of thing happening in reverse for Rarity in a future story.
The level of obfuscation is wonderfully done as well. We the readers can see what's really going on, but Twilight is just foggy enough that she can't put the bits together.
9914922
Glad you liked it! Inductions are always my favorite part to write
9916748
I’m sure there’s a joke here, and it’s gone completely over my head
9917480
Thank you! I hope what you got was sickeningly sweet enough.
9918205
Lol, appreciate that!
9921599
Thank you. Getting the transparency of the fantasy right was something I was worried about, so I’m glad it came through.
The dynamic was super fun to write, and I’m glad you enjoyed it. As for a Rarity reversal sequel, we shall see. . .
One little awkward bit "experience absorb how you feel" needs at least a comma and probably a conjunction
(of course, in RL hypnosis, a little error creates a mini-fractionation and so maybe you meant it!)
But this story is really great, am now rereading it :)
9934759
Whoops! Nope, that was just a mistake on my part. Thanks for pointing it out to me, and I'm really glad you enjoyed my story!
I'm stepping up as the Grammar Police as you requested, least I could do for such a wonderful love story... :)
"time to raise to sun"; should be a 'the'
"in the spot the first chocolate were two small paper cards"; little skip
"The tension had been slowly gathering through her body coiled all at once"; could use a 'that' maybe
"aura of blue around her barrel" barrel is a vague metaphor that makes you stop and think, could be mouth or vjj we're talking here, OTOH it could be me here being weak minded, you might mean it as a thinker (more hypnotic metaphor use?) threw it in the list anyway.
Simply Fabulous ;)
"Twilight lunged forward, pressing into the unicorn so hard was back into the bed with a moan." edit me :)
"Twilight could feel the blood drain from her face as, and could swear she heard a record scratching to a halt as she opened her eyes."; extra 'as'.
"Her could taste herself as she melted into him"
I plan on a third read at least :)
9934827
I believe it's "body barrel" (as in, the main body).
9949652
Pretty much. Barrel refers to a horse’s torso.