What makes a monster? Is it a ghastly, twisted form? A host of unnatural abilities? Perhaps a compulsion to inflict injury upon those that surround it?
Fresh off of her ordeal in Our Town, Twilight Sparkle is faced with this very question when a mare she thought she knew reveals herself to be a creature stepped right out of the nightmares of ponykind. However, this monster, if indeed she is one, has no interest in harming the princess. All she wants is to tell her story, and what a story it is. . .
Currently editing myself, so if anyone spots any spelling/grammar issues, I’d love to hear about them. Constructive criticism is likewise appreciated. Enjoy!
This story will contain gore, violence, implied sexual situations (and possible explicit ones), and blood drinking. The rating may change to mature, depending on feedback and where the story ends up taking me.
Art by the wonderful HoodwinkedTales
What makes a monster? ANYTHING! 😆 XD That's why most of my villain OCs are so vicious. XD
Love this story so far btw. 😃😄
I am so tracking this.
This chapter was both amusing, saddening and very... brutal. Not bad, Author. Not bad. This chapter has made me quite contemplative...
The effects of using a .50 caliber machine gun on soft targets. Very effective, very vomit inducing to clean up.
I really enjoyed this. May we all have another? Please?
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Of course you can have another! It won’t be quite as fast as this one was, but I’ve got a good bit of it written. In the meantime, though, I’m thinking of following each meeting with a friendship lesson, and Celestia’s reaction to it between the main chapters.
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I don’t see any ships at the moment, but who knows? Maybe the currents will bring us one as we drift along.
I definitely took some inspiration from Interview with a Vampire. I haven’t read the book, but loved the movie.
Vinyl seems to be the go-to vampony, followed by Flutterbat and then either Twilight or Rarity. I’ve never seen another with Octavia as the vampire, but it’s certainly be interesting.
I’m glad you’re both enjoying it so far! Thanks for the kind words.
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Ah, sweet joy and wonder! I could kiss you! But I shan't, for I can't.
Could instead of Kyle?
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Wow. That’s an embarrassing error. Thank you for bringing it to my attention!
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No problem, shit happens. You also dropped a quotation mark in the second chapter around the ellipsis after resemnent.
and you might want add spaces to some of the earlier paragraphs, it gets a bit wall of text-y up to the end of the flashback.
Can anyone imagine Twilight falling in love with Octavia as the story progresses?
Is this story dead?
very good story i realy like it what you created so far and hope i can read more in the near future ^^
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Haven`t seen a Twilight x Octavia story yet.
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Not yet. Stories are only truly dead if there's been no updates for more than a year, and the author either hasn't been seen in that time or for longer, and can't be contacted. I know I haven't written myself for a while, but I am still here, trying to entice my muse to come back so I can pin the little flitabout to my corkboard and get some inspiration out of her.
I hate writer's block, especially if RL is feeding it drama and distractions.
I really like seeing more stories involving Sombra, but large parts of this chapter need some heavy editing to make paragraphs and some editing marks removed for some of the sound effect, since I don't imagine you wanted these (*) in your story's final version when italics would do.
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Wow. . . I'm a bit flummoxed that I missed the spacing for this long. Massive thanks for pointing that out to me.
As far as the asterisks for sound effects, I actually did intend that. I've seen it in a couple other pieces of writing, and wanted to distinguish the sounds effects from thoughts with something besides context. If story count is anything to go by, you seem like a more experience writer, so I'm open to any suggestions you might have.
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Such language.
Mhm, I spot it infrequently too. They're usually reserved for editing marks, but if you want an alternative, italics or bold work. Generally, those and other standard text effects work well. They tend to pop up more in professional writing, too.
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I make no apologies for my choice of words
Thanks for the tip. I'm not sure I ever use bold, so perhaps now would be a good time to start.
Thanks again for the feedback! I greatly appreciate it.
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No problem! I certainly hope to see some more from you.
You have my attention. A well written story about Octavia featuring vampires that isn't a sub-par knockoff of what's been done a dozen times before? Count me in. Here's to hoping the story stays in high quality throughout, and it doesn't die like another unique story featuring vampires and Octavia called Certamen. Also, I ask everyone who reads this to and read what there is of Certamen. I doubt it will receive another update, but it's good.
This story deserves wider readership, wonderfully crafted (like all your writing so far, happily, some yet to read) hope to see more of this one!
This is a really good story. Better than most of the ones I have read on this site. It has been a long while since you added to this. Are you going to do any more?
You got a lot of fans wanting to know whats going to happen next!
I like the story so far
Vampires happen to be my favorite mythical creature
Why do you think I chose this account name and picture
I just happen to know many different myths about vampires
By the way yesterday was my birthday