paperhearts
Joined 25th Aug, 2019 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- paperhearts · 1.7k words · 58 4 · 1.3k views
- paperhearts · 17k words · 111 6 · 2.2k views
- semillon · 14k words · 59 0 · 2.1k views
- Jack of a Few Trades · 6.4k words · 177 6 · 2.5k views
- semillon · 1.2k words · 138 9 · 1.7k views
- semillon · 2.5k words · 176 5 · 4.1k views
- Petrichord · 5.4k words · 22 2 · 297 views
Featured In33
The Writers' Group56,546 stories ·9,303 members
One-Shots18,933 stories ·2,369 members
Slice of Life8,172 stories ·1,464 members
UK Bronies1,721 stories ·707 members
- Author Support4,373 stories ·2,070 members
- F/F ships2,908 stories ·1,412 members
- Struggling Authors25,198 stories ·3,673 members
School for New Writers9,632 stories ·5,013 members
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.198 seconds
Total duration
927 users online
344,855 hits today, 2,591,549 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
The two or three cusses felt a little out of place, but overall this was REALLY good! Especially for someone's first fic!
Have a like! :)
EDIT: Turns out this wasn't actually paperhearts' first rodeo (more info here). Either way, it's still great!
At first I thought this might be going into Eagle and Sparrow direction, but took a while to realise by the end.
Poor Smolder.
There's something strangely beautiful about how you wrote this. I love it.
9805891
What's the Eagle and Sparrow direction?
Wow, this was really kinda awesome. Quite well written, and one can really feel the emotions in the story. It has that charm of a fic that is short but meaningful.
It's just the perfect length for what it is.
9805996
The Eagle and Sparrow is a short story about all the birds getting together to elect a King to rule. After much argument they finally agreed that the bird that could fly highest would get the job.
All the birds flew, but the mighty Eagle flew highest, until right at the point where he started to glide back, exhausted, the tiny Sparrow, which had been hiding in the feathers on his back, took off and soared higher still.
And so the Sparrow was declared the King Of The Birds.
In this case the Sparrow was sneaky, but it works just as well with Freinds.
9805859
Thank you very much, I'll gladly snaffle that like up. I appreciate you taking the time to read my work. I can only offer an apology if the cursing felt in any way off to you; it evolved naturally as I was writing the characters/dialogue and I was reluctant to mute it. I'm glad you could still enjoy the rest of it though!
9805891
Huh, reading fairy tales and folk stories is something of a hobby of mine, so I'm fairly disturbed by the fact I haven't even heard of that one! Back to the books for me! Thanks for taking the time to read and share. Hope you enjoyed the story.
9805974
There's something beautiful about your very kind words too! Sincerely, thank you. I'm delighted you enjoyed the story, and appreciate you taking the time to read it.
9806039
Thank you ever so much for such kind words. I'm really pleased you enjoyed the story, and that the balance worked for you. The dialogue and emotional content were my main areas of focus for this effort, so your words are doubly heartening. Thanks for taking the time to read it!
A lovely read. But I feel like I missed the point at the end.
9806352
I think...she wanted Ocellus to look at her the same way she has their other friends after something strenuous?
Your prose is very elegant. You painted the setting very well––I'm very sad that summer is ending now, haha.
I'll definitely be revisiting this story when I feel the need to see Smolder and Ocellus hanging out. I look forward to your next story.
9806352
I'm super pleased/appreciative that it didn't hamper any enjoyment of the story though.
Ack! Then I can only hold my hands up and apologise; I wanted to make Smolder's intentions and the reveal subtle, but I have clearly either buried them too deep or stuffed up the execution. My bad.
It's a little along the lines of what 9806388 has already said. Smolder has feelings for Ocellus, who in turn is dating Gallus. Smolder is thus trying to win/steal her heart by doing something extreme, as she remembers the way Ocellus looked at Gallus after his own exertions.
Honestly, I'll go away and think on the execution a little more. It might just be one of the cases where it was clear in my head, but perhaps less so on paper. Thanks for taking the time to read my work. This has been helpful feedback.
9806409
Haha, but autumn and winter are following, the most beautiful of seasons! Thank you for taking the time to read my work, and also for the very kind words. Put a smile on my face, that.
I'll do my best to entertain with future stories too. No pressure, haha!
9806278
My memory is failing with age, but I beleive it might be one of Aesops Fables.
Some of the oldest lies for adults?
As for the story, please dont alter it, the feeling of realising the meaning of the story, no matter how long it takes, or how suprising, I thought was the point of the story.
9806617
Thanks for the pointer, I'll start there.
Oh, and I won't be changing anything in this story (though thank you for giving me a little more to think about). I was mainly talking about reflecting on the feedback so far and what it might or should mean for my future work.
As I read this a song played in my head and it's just so perfect and fits quite well with the story, at least for me.
I highly recommend listening to it while reading, here
As for the story, you definitely know how to write. I look forward to your next story
9808603
Ooh, I'm not sure there's finer praise than that, so thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I usually write a story to a specific song or two to get me in the right frame of mind, so to have music tap into people as they read it is an immensity gratifying thing to hear. Tis a tune that, too. Thanks for sharing!
And thank you for the follow too! I'll do my very best to justify your decision to do that. From looking at your following list I'm in some esteemed company, so thank you again.
9808657
you're very welcome, it brings me joy whenever I can make others genuinely happy.
So what did you think of the song I shared, did it fit well?
9809468
It was a tricky challenge for me personally, mainly because I listened to a specific song before sitting down to write this story (and before every time I sat down to edit it too), so to attach a different track to it after needed some mental gymnastics, haha.
That said, I can definitely see why it would come to mind, and definitely see how it fits the material, sure! I'm generally intrigued by how songs can do that, and how different songs can be recalled for different people reading the same material. I wonder if that was true for any other readers too.
9810014
well now i'm intrigued, what song did you listen to while writing this?
9810883
Ack! Completely thought I had replied to this already. My apologies!
My pre-writing track for this one was:
Oooh, I really don't read nearly enough, so it takes me a while to get around to it, but here I am finally, and very pleased I came. That was a beautiful story. You are an excellent writer.
9831994
I'm pleased you enjoyed it.
Ah, thank you for such kind words, really, and for taking the time to read my story in the first place! That really put a smile on my face this morning.
9844311
Hello, and thank you so very much for taking the time to read my work. I really appreciate it, and your thoughts on the story have left a pretty big smile on my face. Thoroughly delighted that you liked it, and very much relieved that the aspects I wanted to get right with it have been quite well received.
Thanks again, and have a nice day!
I not a frequent commenter, so I don’t know if people comment half a year after the story is written, but I want to.
When I realized what this story was really about, it felt like a bolt of lightning hit my gut. I love when stories do that! The entire story I was wracking my brain trying to figure it out, and it still knocked me head over heels, even though I should have realized it. That’s a sign of a damn good story. And I love seeing the LusLus pairing, even if it’s only mentioned offhand. I still maintain that they’re cute together.
As for the song in my head, I personally heard this when Smolder had reached her zenith. Inspiring and invigorating for your soul. While I also contemplate how altitude might affect dragon bodies.
I can only imagine Ocellus’ reaction if she knew the truth. It’s an almost tragic story, but a beautiful one. Well done.
nice work
My sincere apologies for taking so long to reply. Been a tad under the weather and I've not been online much.
10245765
I'm delighted to read about your reaction, because it's exactly the reaction I was hoping readers would get. Sometimes I worry I am too flowery for my own good, and I lose the immediacy and obviousness when I put moments like that into my work. I'm glad it worked for you, and thanks for sharing your own soundtrack. I'm always interested in what people hear or think of when they read this, and it is a lovely piece of music.
Thank you so very much for taking the time to comment; the fact by your own admission you don't do it all too often makes it all the more special for me. So thank you!
Again, it was exactly what I was going for. I'm so so pleased to read that it felt that way to you as a reader.
Thanks for reading my work! I appreciate it.
10255848
Thank you very much for taking the time to read my work and comment. I'm delighted to read that you enjoyed it!
9805859
HO-lee crap, this was a first?!!
10447408
Actually, no, that comment was incorrect. paperhearts formerly wrote under an account named Ceffyl Dŵr that they ultimately deleted (more info here). This wasn't a "debut" per se, but rather a successful comeback attempt.
Either way, it's still great.
:)