As a new age dawns for two worlds, Sunset and the Spirit of Harmony must learn to let go of their passion.
An entry into the Sunset Shipping Contest: Endings.
Edited by DrakeyC.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 2nd Dec, 2013
- offline last seen Yesterday
Undome Tinwe
Some of them want to use you, some of them want to be used by you/Some of them want to abuse you, some of them want to be abused.
Undome Tinwe
Joined 2nd Dec, 2013 ·
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Ah, something Harmony and Chaos can agree upon.
"The feeling is mutual, I assure you. And isn't it disharmonious to narrate about people when they're right in front of you? Or at least disingenuous."
All told, magnificent work from a truly unique perspective. I wish you had the word count available to show the whole relationship. If nothing else, I want to see Twilight's reaction to meeting her sparkly doppleganger for the first time. In any case, thank you for a fantastic read. Best of luck in the judging.
Momset best Set.
That was decidedly different. I liked it.
I bet Sunny's going to be a great mom. Her love will live on. Just in a new form.
Okay that was really great and very unique, and the transformation is so fitting. Harmony becomes her own mother, with Sunset. It's such a perfect mythic thing.
Seeing how Equestria will move forward, and move on? And what Harmony will learn over the years, and how Sunset will change and move on too? What it teaches her when her mother and former lover finds romance again with someone else? So much potential for further stories.
Verily, Harmony begets only Harmony, and in begetting, is begotten of itself.
That was really good! Harmony gets to experience a whole new kind of love.
I really appreciated the buildup and the time they spent together in Ponyville. I did feel like the climax was a little rushed to get to the (very cute) ending.
I approve
Wow. Astonishing. That was really interesting and impressive. I loved the way Harmony can't help but think of things in terms of her Elements, and the many subtle expressions of that, including the joy and camaraderie of competitive board games.
If this is the kind of fic the Endings contest is going to bring about, then I'm decidedly more happy with it.
Very sweet story.
Well, it's somebody's fetishI feel like I've wanted to hear someone say this to Sunset for a long time. ;_;
Okay, the more I think about the ending of this story, the more it bothers me.
So much of it makes thematic sense. The very nature of Harmony is changing, as is so well laid out in the narrative, it makes sense that its embodiment essentially start over. Harmony and Sunset had such a strong relationship, her new body being the spiritual child of the two is an equally good metaphor. It's just...
Why did she have to remember everything? From the looks of it, they were having some really intense sex! And now she's supposed to be a filly? What the hell kind of life is she supposed to have? Is she mortal? Is she going to grow up? If so, is she going to grow up knowing that she totally got it on with the pony who's now her mother figure? There are so many comments up there like, "Oh, yeah, Sunset mom now" and I'm just sitting here going... But they had sex!
And I supposed thematically and metaphorically, it doesn't make sense for her to keep her memories. Maybe she knows a few things about what it means to be a pony, that she'll get to live now. Maybe she sees Sunset and knows, this is someone who loves and cares for me. But just remembering everything that happened prior to the transformation makes it... not really a transformation. She's still the same person, just smaller. This turns into some kind of severely creepy ageplay thing. c.c;
Not intending to make accusations, I just feel like you maybe misstepped right at the end there, and I like the things I like to be likable without qualification. :B
This was really interesting. You don't often see Harmony Sparkle in a romance, let alone Harmony Sparkle at all. Pairing her up with Sunset seemed arbitrary at first, but the thing about her discovering harmony while in another realm makes a lot of sense. Throughout the story, I was dreading Harmony and Sunset having to separate, which is a good sign the pairing worked out.
I always feel wary of stories where the pony and human worlds form a stronger connection; there's just something that fundamentally feels wrong about the concept. However, that was just a backdrop for the changes Harmony and Sunset's relationship are going through, so that's fine.
As for the ending, I agree with the above comment that Harmony remembering everything as a filly makes things really weird. I think the best way to have your cake and eat it too with the ending would have been for Harmony to split into two beings: her old self, and also a filly. Harmony describes her as in a way being herself, but also with Sunset mixed in. Sunset responds, "So basically... our daughter." That said, I'm not exactly opposed to the current ending.