We're going to build an exact copy of Ponyville... right over there! We've got less than a minute!
This story is a sequel to Not Exactly Friends
On a dark night, in a gathering storm, Tempest waits to walk Twilight back to her room... and is almost certain that something is out there, watching her...
For more of this AU, see: Without Your Cutie Mark
And also check out the series, beginning with Not Exactly Friends.
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So is this a series now? Because I'm ok with this being a series.
And I do hope we get more of Tempest's backstory, or the version you've set up for her, during this. Complete with Twilight's knack of making it trivial, it seems.
~Skeeter The Lurker
9797073
I'll second that!
Excuse me. I just... I can't help this... I....
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE........!!!!
I'm loving this series so far. Can't wait for more!
Huh, Grubber and an apparent history with the Storm King's army. Not quite the backstory I was assuming for this particular AU. Interesting idea, though.
Okay, not what I expected to see happen...but I love it.
And you know, in the movie it always felt like Grubber was more loyal to Tempest than to the Storm King, so it even makes sense.
Nice work as always! I can't believe it took me as long as it did to realize that it was Grubber until Tempest out and caught them. Wow... XD
I absolutely LOVED this one-shot. Again, a great job on the exchanges, characterizations, general wrap-up and future story set-up in all the right places. I particularly liked how Tempest admitted certain things about her past to Twilight WITHOUT revealing TOO much as well as how protective Tempest is of Twilight. And, yeah, loved the dialogue between Tempest and Grubber AND Grubber's introduction to Twilight and Spike. Actually, I kind of REALLY like the idea of Grubber and Spike learning from each other and generally keeping each other company while Twilight and Tempest are hanging out with each other, Starlight and their other friends. Of course, the comical possibilities of Spike introducing Grubber to the Power Ponies and O & O are definitely there too and definitely welcome.
All in all, I am looking forward to seeing what you come up with next for this universe.
I am digging this AU, no joke.
I absolutely adore this AU. It's... comfy. Yes, so comfy.
Please sir, may I have some more?
This is amazing. The way you write young Twilight and young Tempest fits so well. I could see you actually turning this into a long story if you wanted to. Keep up the great work!
I have to admit, these stories kinda... bug me a little. Not the plot, the stories themselves are wonderful. It's just that it's a little hard to really put a timeline to them (though I haven't read WYCM). It's clear that Twilight and Tempest are on the older side (for teens) here, but the way they were written in the first story, it felt like they were still fairly young, but at the same time, a bit older. There's a mention of the two of them playing on the playground—and thus likely in their late single-digits—but then also living in the observatory tower alone with Spike, and that couldn't have been until she was at least in her mid-teens (I could also say that since Celestia had Twilight doing a 'research project' it would mean she was older, but this is Twilight—I could see her doing a research project when she was seven). Yet, in that observatory scene, they were playing a game that seemed like they had regressed back to being younger. That said, if Tempest was introduced at the younger age, I wouldn't think there would be any time for her to have had any history with the Storm King, and more was just a loner out on her own that was hesitant about being taken on by Celestia. HOWEVER—
In The Stormy Road to Canterlot, it felt like Tempest was found by Grubber when she was still fairly young-ish, maybe only a year or two older than when she had the accident. If she'd been found that young, then in this AU it's possible that she had been... let's say trained by the Storm King, but wasn't old enough to actually lead anything. Grubber could very well have been a training partner, which is why they still have a past, since he gave no mention of any actual missions in this one. I can see Tempest eventually thinking better of working with the Storm King and just running off like a child runs away from home. I think it could work.
But despite all that, this isn't my story. I may be thinking too much into it. By themselves, they're both good AU stories about Twilight and Tempest being friends and all that entails. The time confusion hasn't stopped me from upvoting them both.
9797873
Thanks so much for reading, and for letting me know your thoughts. The detailed feedback helps a lot!
In these stories, I'm kind of assuming the headcanon established by My Little Student, that Twilight has moved on to boarding at the School full-time, although she still has private lessons from Princess Celestia in the afternoons. I also assume that she's quickly gravitated to using the tower room as her "home base", so to speak, and has been there for at least a couple years, so she's a little older and more independent now. I also assume that pony development, independence, and "mental age" works a little differently from humans, thus Twilight is "old enough" to be on her own, under School supervision, even though she's still a mixture of tweenish maturity and foalishness by turns. (This is complicated by Twilight being so studious, level-headed and clear-spoken -- her voice just sounds older than it is). And I assume that pony education is based on ability, not chronological age (as with Ponyville's single-room schoolhouse), so it's not unusual for an older Tempest and younger Twilight to be schooled together -- each works on lessons appropriate for her talent and capabilities.
Tempest I'm assuming to be at least a couple years older than Twilight, plus she's been living on the street for a while, so she's had to grow up much faster -- and thus she sounds, talks, and thinks older and more cynically, and also finds herself drawn into the "big sister" role here. She's had time to have a past before she was found by Celestia and her guards, though I'm not assuming anything from Stormy Road to Canterlot. (I generally take the show/movie as canon, but treat the books and comics as guidelines and/or AU side-stories.) I'm assuming that in this world she and Grubber ran into each other on the road, possibly before either has met the Storm King, so they have a history together but its not necessarily the one from the movie. I am deliberately bending history a little bit here, because I like Grubber as a character and wanted to be able to add him back in as Tempest's side-kick and verbal punching bag. As with Spike, the side-kick characters allow their respective mains to talk things out in private and to operate independently, so they allow for more flexible stories.
It's complicated, and to some extent I'm just going with the flow and telling the story, without sweating the specifics of what happened when, except where it matters. So your willingness to read along and take the story on its own terms is much appreciated!
Thanks again for the feedback!
Heh, no surprise that this is better than i thought it was going to be. Love the direction your taking this.
Still though, now i cant wait for twilight to find out. Even if i know what her response will most likely be.
9797957
Ahhhh. Okay, I see. Before anything else, you're welcome for the feedback; I appreciate getting it myself, so I try (be prepared for more, which I hope is constructive). I also haven't read My Little Student, so I'm not familiar with the canon. Anyway—
There were a few things that threw me off with both stories, and they all kind of tie into each other. The first was the cover art from the first one. I use art frequently in my own fics, and I tend to take them very literally. Tempest looked about the same age as Twilight in that picture, but Twilight could very well have had a much younger face behind that book. That age gap is what basically explains the whole thing. Twilight has always been the more studious type, so it doesn't surprise me that she might have a bit of an older tone to her speech, but her wanting to go play threw me off—she never seemed the type, unless reading outside was what she considered 'playing.'
Then there was the observatory scene. Because of the game they were playing, and the fact that Tempest was behaving very much the same way as Twilight, it led me to further believe they were the same age, and thus I still pitted Tempest to be younger. However, now knowing the age gap—even though she really only considers being something like it at the end of this story—older sister/brother figures tend to consciously 'regress' themselves to younger siblings' ages when the youngers want to play (I used to do things like this when I babysat). That said, I can see how Tempest and Twilight would be playing together in such a way while still being different ages.
The only thing I'm still curious about, though, is the relationship with Grubber. If the only past between them is that they traveled on the road together with a Twilight-Spike kind of relationship, and no interaction with the Storm King, why would Tempest have wanted to avoid letting Twilight know?
Then again, like I said before, not my story. And the fact that this is an AU makes all of this totally acceptable (it's just my literal side having a tantrum). Heck, I've used this as a response when people comment complaints on my own AU.
Please be aware, I'm attempting to be constructive here, not suggest that you should change things to please one person. I'm just letting you know how I perceived things as a reader. I may have been the only one that saw it that way, but I personally appreciate every single person's feedback when I get it, and it sounds like you do the same, so I hope it's helpful.
Nice job. Looking forward to more.
The Storm King calls.
Wonder how Grubber and Spike will get on.
before I knew it was grubber I thought it was an orphan trixie.
I can't believe I didn't realize you posted a sequel sooner. This is an interesting universe you are making.
I was wondering why her birth name seemed to be Tempest Shadow. Now I see; she's denying ever having been Fizzlepop. And given Grubber, there's quite a bit else to deny. Who knows whether someone less easily cowed might creep out of Tempest's past...
But for now, there's adorkable frjendship to be had. Lovely work.
Love the character interactions here. Si adorable.
Hah, so now Tempest's got a Spike of her own! Though I find it odd that I only saw this after its sequel, as that was posted first...
9812082
Thanks! Without Your Cutie Mark was actually written first, so you're not imagining things.
I'm not sure if there's a word for an "in-between sequel"...
9812115
The term is "interquel", as "inter-" means "between", where "pre-" means "before". With the root for the terms being "sequel", and a forth term ("midquel") being debatably a type of interquel, but set within a single work rather than between a pair.
9812115
Just follow the Borderlands model!
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/62/Borderlands_The_Pre-Sequel_box_art.jpg
Cute and heartwarming
Ehh, actually...
"We never had a single fight". That's actually canon, from what I understand.
9829840
Depends on what they decide to call a "fight". Also, bear in mind that reminiscent songs are allowed a certain amount of poetic license, since "we never had a single fight -- except for those three or four, which weren't worth speaking of, where was I?" doesn't scan all that well...
9829854
Still.
That means that they fought over something. Competition or disagreement - doesn't matter. So yeah, either they had fights, or they didn't. There's no third option.
9829880
Their competitions for the Crown of the Sibling Supreme are clearly rivalries, enshrined as family tradition no less. But those aren't necessarily fights, more like "friendly competition". I was just leaving the door open for those just-before-bedtime "who us? we weren't fighting and I have no idea how the chandelier caught fire..." moments.
9829911
Again, and again.
Did they, or did they not fight each other? Frankly, I doubt they would even compete with each other.
From the same song.
"We did everything together" - they never done anything apart, in opposition to each other.
"We shared our hopes, we shared our dreams" - they seem to not even have two differing opinions on matters.
Like I said, I don't belive they fought. EVER. Be it a game or serious argument.
I love how protective Tempest is for Twilight! It's so frighteningly adorable!
She just wants her friend to be herself! I love that! I love this series it's so adorable and I can't get enough of little Twilight and Tempest. Nice fanfics! I'm going to read it all
That was precious.
Sonic's cousin, Grubber the Hedgehog.
9901714
Grin -- the opposite, less-speedy sibling for narrative contrast? Kind of like Maud Pie's contrast to Pinkie?
Uhmm… am I the only one who kinda sees something else in that line?
Anyway, this is adorable and fantastic! I’m looking forward to reading onward.
This was an adorable read!
*Grubber and Tempest talk about their time together on the streets*
My head:
9812082
I've read that Grubber is Tempest’s Spike.
Which makes sense, since Tempest is Twilight's total opposite.
The counter thesis to Twilight's friendship thesis.
During one of the con panels at a con, one of the show writers said that Sunset Shimmer and Starlight Glimmer are versions of Twilight, but with some key difference.
Sunset Shimmer, is a more informed Twilight, that knew about Celestia's plans to mold her student into an alicorn princess. She fucked off through the mirror, because Celestia didn't submit to Sunset's demand that she be made into an alicorn immediately. Also, (according to the IDW comics) Celestia expelled Sunset for those demands, and for breaking into the restricted section of the library.
Starlight Glimmer is a Twilight that didn't grow up with a Shining Armor or Spike. A Twilight that grew up alone.
"We"?
Who is "we"?
Are you speaking French/Prench?!
You're the one hanging out alone in the workroom while everyone else is in class!