The stars are vanishing from Equestria. It's not so bad.
My entry in the first Quills and Sofas Speedwriting Competition! An experimental story written in just under an hour and totally unedited. Enjoy.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 11th Mar, 2012
- offline last seen 9 hours ago
GaPJaxie
It's fanfiction all the way down.
GaPJaxie
Joined 11th Mar, 2012 ·
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I really love your style, GaP. Twinging melancholia and nostalgia meddling within determined characters.
This piece felt a bit like Gardez's recent work on The Archetypist.
It would be interesting to see if anyone has clued in to what they've lost.
Damn, I’m not sure of the underlying meaning behind it all, but it certainly had the feeling down pat. Really great job!
As long as there are ponies like that, and if any like them keep being born, there will be stars shooting from Equestria into the void.
A very surreal story, but one with a great message that you can take away from it. Doesn't hurt that it's beautifully told as well.
9787042
I think the implication is that your "if" is false.
9787087
Which is ridiculous if you take the story at all literally.
So the idea is that everyone with ambition suddenly becomes a massive narcissist and fucks off to Galt Gulch, I guess? And then dies on the way because they never contact home to gloat about how much better they have it now.
An unedited piece from you is still an amazing piece of work.
This is so confusing...
This would have been amazing if you'd said you spent two days on it. For an hour, it's nothing short of breathtaking.
9787281 The stars are a metaphor for people who excel in life, who shine the brightest because they see possibilities beyond the boundaries of what people think is or what should be, and then push through those boundaries. Without visionaries, without explorers who write their own stories, our world would be a much more dull and drab place.
"and totally unedited"
Er.
Hm.
...Given the circumstances, I think I might be better if I don't do my usual Thing here. :)
But I thought I'd let you know.
[reads]
Interesting, unsurprisingly. :)
And I don't recall seeing that many things I've have pointed at for the Thing, either. :)
Huh. Vaguely reminds me of a (much longer) book that I've read. Though at least this story had a... less bad ending than the book, where everything increasingly went to tartarus as all the smart people left. (And of course, the more who left, the worse things got, and the worse things got the more who left, sort of a feedback loop almost, until the end where all the smart people had left to their own hidden place and everywhere else was, uh... very not good.)
9787098
No, they just went to
Base Yavinthe Land of Misfit Toys.And in the
Galaxy'sNorth Pole's darkest hour, they will return withHan SoloYukon Cornelius andChewbaccaa reformed Abominable Snowman andPrincess LeiaClaryce andLuke SkywalkerRudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and SAVETHE REBELLIONCHRISTMAS!img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2014-12/4/13/enhanced/webdr06/enhanced-352-1417718484-8.jpg?downsize=700%3A%2A&output-quality=auto&output-format=auto&output-quality=auto&output-format=auto&downsize=360:*
"His mitochloridian levels are off the scale!"
Bruh.
What... what the hell did I just read? *Claps in entertained confusion*
9788006
It's actually an admirable piece of work. But why it is, or even that it is, you might not get on first reading.
The author is obviously having some misfortune in his life. He feels misunderstood and mistreated. So he writes to express these feelings and to make the reader feel them too. He succeeds. But that's just self-pity--which is, to be fair, no more than what's expected in this case.
However there is more to this than self-pity. And it isn't what's expected.
What's unexpected is that he invites his accusers--those he feels have misunderstood and mistreated him--to his pity-party, and lets them speak their piece. As if that weren't enough he lends them the voices of the show's best and wisest characters, not to subvert these characters but to give the reader some sympathy with the points they are making. And as if that weren't enough, he leaves the reader pretty much convinced that these characters do have their points.
But they don't have all of them. The author has one too. Not the sine qua non, but a valid point and a necessary one.
This is a good artistic choice because it creates aesthetic tension, which is an artistic virtue, in the story's narrative and theme. But it is also a good ethical choice because it is virtuous to consider your opponents' points thoughtfully and sympathetically, and credit them with being right when they are right.
These choices would be laudable if they were made by an author at peace with the world, and with leisure to consider his options. But they weren't. They were made by a man still smarting from a serious rebuke. And they were made in an hour's time.
That, by God, is admirable.
9788185
...I liked Southpaw's explination better
9788224
Oh yes, Southpaw's reading is what's happening in the story. But it's not all that's happening.
Hi there! I'm going to read your story and JUDGE IT!!
(Now it truly is the Aponycalypse)
9787879 How high are Saitama's midiclorian levels?
9787098 Well, to be fair, I am a titanic flaming narcissist. But can you blame me? I mean, have you ever met me? I'm ME!! I'm a big deal!
I REALLY get Vegeta. We're both too good for this world.
And there was much rejoicing from all who appreciate actual characterization.
And to rip this fic's concept to pieces in one sentence:
How did the world work before there were beings with minds capable of thought?
A tree stands atop a mountain for 5,000 years, noticing nothing, accomplishing nothing but producing more seeds now and then. Does this imply it has no value? Is it a bad thing that it cannot lead a protest and beat up an old man in a wheel chair? One could easily take all the worst works of a creative mind and craft the argument that the tree is the superior being and should be what all should aim for, as it does no harm to anything and instead creates shelter and food for many other forms of life.
You see, this is the epitome of the arrogance of humanity (ponmanity): they assume the universe needs them. In fact, humanity comforts itself in purpose and meaning... when we have no idea what any of those concepts actually are, or even if they truly exist. If one has faith that they do, then there's no concern of them vanishing suddenly, for to exist they must be inherent to the very structure of the cosmos. If they don't exist... well then, boink everything that moves and then die, cuz nothing matters!
This is the one true dichotomy: there is either meaning, or there isn't. No other option exists.
You may now worship my brilliance. (What, you expected Alondro NOT to troll? Sheesh, wise up!)
9788185
Um...
I feel like I just got an hour of therapy for free.
Thanks man.
9788257 Right, I distilled it down to an essence, which I do feel is a bit of a crime where stories are concerned. I'm glad that you filled in the blanks. I was going to say more, but I think I'll leave it at that.
To push up against the boundaries imposed upon us by be they from society, life circumstances, or the uncaring world we find ourselves in, and to push past them, is quite a bit of what it means to be human. Or in this case, pony. Creature. Whatever. Because we can.
The rest of what it means though, is to help each other. To deal together with our struggles and burdens, of society, or life, or the uncaring universe. To help out friends, even if it isn't glamorous. Because we care.
To do the first without the second, to seek progress without heed of consequences, is to leave the world broken behind you.
To do the second without the first, to seek stability at the cost of progress, is to bind the world so tight that nothing breaks, even when it needs to be broken.
Pure chaos is a cacophony. Pure order is a monotone. To get Harmony, you need both. Because we should.
And sometimes yes, it's quite okay that the stars are gone.
9788185
You know. Comments are magic after all. I didn't truly understand what this was all about and why it was written, until you mentioned 'a serious rebuke'. That got my attention, and then suddenly I actually checked the author's name. Oooooh, it's THAT guy. Third wheel/Courtesan/rest of that rambling inconsistent mess. THAT guy. Well, without you I'd move on and lowkey kept wondering.
Me: I don't understand... So it must be philosophy!
That's the obvious choice for something seems vaguely impressive but unfathomable!
Also, *confused sadness*
9788488
Don't mind if memorize this wonderful comment for myself.
9788185
9787401
My understanding has been increased considerably. Thank you.
(Just confused about the "serious rebuke" bit, though.)
9789069
Hey.
They party together?
I liked this story. Although, I imagine, a significant number of people in the fandom—myself included—are content to live in a world without stars.
9788185
It seems I've missed some meta context.
Doesn't Luna have anything to say about the missing stars?
And I would've thought Twilight would be more interested in Gallus' discovery.
And no, Rainbow, the middle of a disaster is NOT the right time to ask Twilight for help going to space!
Why do you hate Twilight?
I want to be clear and seperate this from the rest of the story, which is very well written and applies a creative premise really well; it's honestly just confususing. You don't hate her, and she's always in-charator. But she's always used to illustrate something wrong with the world, and I'm not sure why.
EDIT unless Twilight wasn't supposed to be exactly wrong, which just means that I am not a smart man.
9787098
I thought they were being kidnapped by some force.
Celestia didn’t reply, so Luna turned to face her on the balcony. She could just see Celestia’s face, a white oval turned toward the sky.
“Look,” whispered Celestia, and Luna lifted her eyes to the heavens. (There is always a last time for everything.)
Overhead, without any fuss, the stars were going out.
9790408
I don't hate her, but as a princess, she's a great narrative tool to represent the status-quo.
9789069
That's an interesting reading. It's plain to see what you bring to the text.
9790436
I wanted to do something from The Demolished Mare, but nothing occurred.
Anyway yours is better.
And they shall be led by Princess Applejack, leader of all background ponies.
9790470
her becoming a princess was a shakeup of the status quo
Well, that was utterly terrifying. There are few worse fates than complacent stagnation.
9790470
Restores the diarchy after a millennium of Celestial rule.
Reveals the existence of a race of emotional parasites to public knowledge.
Becomes a princess herself.
Opens on-demand connections to other universes.
Establishes positive relations with nations that have spurned Equestria for decades, if not centuries.
Literally rewrites the book on modern education.
Replaces the God-Empress of Ponykind on her Golden Throne.
Suffice to say, Twilight isn't my first choice for representing the preservation of the status quo.
9792869
Every now and then Twilight likes to be cast against type.
Just to keep from getting in a rut, you know.
9793575
True. After all, the alternative would be preserving the status quo!
9788185
Just to let you know - more than once in the past GAPJaxie has presented a scenario where his views are on one side and reasonable-sounding counterarguments in the mouths of beloved characters on the other, and then said outright that there was not supposed to be any real moral ambiguity.
9792869
Yeah - she's kind of the face of the new wave in Equestria. (Well, the moderate new wave, not the sorts who would suggest crazy things like not being run by a princess.)
9795388
Could you give me some examples, please? With links?