Much better chapter! The pacing and timing were very good and the scene flowed very well. Also, nice sparing use of body descriptors for Adagio. Much improved from the last chapter.
A question, as I picture Dagi in this, she's a little over weight, pudge here and there and all that. But when I read how you describe her, I sometimes get the feeling that you might be wanting to portray her as obese or a SSBBW. Which is the proper character type? If she's merely a little chunky, you might want to use some other descriptors than "fat" (curvaceous and soft are two of my favs). If she is obese, then I think you are hitting the mark.
A 9/10 chapter (Sorry, just didn't care for Dagi using her litter box, but that's not a criticism, just a personal preference) and GREATLY improved from Chapter 2. Looking forward to the next one!
I noticed it went into more fetishes, like feet, nudity, etc. The the whole thing with the litterbox kind of bothered me, but that's just cuz I'm not really into that. I will say the bit of building that was done here is interesting. Such as Adagio being a bit afraid of people, though that could very well be because of what she was wearing and buying. The part where Aria came unexpectedly was also interesting to me, though I feel like she was a bit too ok with what has happening.
Now there are two things in this chapter that really interested me. The part where they were talking about Pinkie and how they were scared of her. I'm not entirely sure whether that was just meant to be idle chatter, or if it was meant to be taken as foreshadowing for something. I'm also not sure exactly why they were afraid of her. Because of her forward, care free personality? Or if there another reason.
Also, the last thing about Applejack also being Fluttershy's pet I find interesting. I'd like it to be explored a bit more about the sexual relationships she has with other people.
So this is a Dagishy story?
9739087
Yes it is. Very much so.
9739159
Thanks, now I know where to put it in the Uncommon Dazzling Ships group.
Bruh xD
9739819
I'm very pleased that you enjoyed the story. It gets racier from here!
Much better chapter! The pacing and timing were very good and the scene flowed very well. Also, nice sparing use of body descriptors for Adagio. Much improved from the last chapter.
A question, as I picture Dagi in this, she's a little over weight, pudge here and there and all that. But when I read how you describe her, I sometimes get the feeling that you might be wanting to portray her as obese or a SSBBW. Which is the proper character type? If she's merely a little chunky, you might want to use some other descriptors than "fat" (curvaceous and soft are two of my favs). If she is obese, then I think you are hitting the mark.
A 9/10 chapter (Sorry, just didn't care for Dagi using her litter box, but that's not a criticism, just a personal preference) and GREATLY improved from Chapter 2. Looking forward to the next one!
I never expect Fluttershy to be the master but I'm liking this story so much!
Not a lot to say about this chapter.
I noticed it went into more fetishes, like feet, nudity, etc. The the whole thing with the litterbox kind of bothered me, but that's just cuz I'm not really into that. I will say the bit of building that was done here is interesting. Such as Adagio being a bit afraid of people, though that could very well be because of what she was wearing and buying. The part where Aria came unexpectedly was also interesting to me, though I feel like she was a bit too ok with what has happening.
Now there are two things in this chapter that really interested me. The part where they were talking about Pinkie and how they were scared of her. I'm not entirely sure whether that was just meant to be idle chatter, or if it was meant to be taken as foreshadowing for something. I'm also not sure exactly why they were afraid of her. Because of her forward, care free personality? Or if there another reason.
Also, the last thing about Applejack also being Fluttershy's pet I find interesting. I'd like it to be explored a bit more about the sexual relationships she has with other people.