Howdy! My name is Ender Inkbourne and im a unicorn from Trottingham and im a story writer as well as a librarian and i hope to make lots of friends in Ponyville
Funny how life can throw a curveball when you least expect it, huh?
Well sure threw me a curveball, alright. In the form of me dying and waking up in a world of pastel colored ponies and actual, real magic.
Still, if this was a second chance at life, then i wasn’t going to waste it.
I mean, whats the worst that could happen?
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Welcome to the very bottom of the bucket of originalty. That's not a good thing. And no, there is no way to make this original.
Someone's already done it at some point.
9670326
I disagree. If someone can make a good story from Peg and Corn then a good story can be made from this.
That said (addressing author now) it is very very exposition heavy. The first chapter is supposed to introduce us to your world and leave us wanting more. If you give us everything in the first chapter why would we keep reading? (especially if it feels like we know what will happen next)
There is so much I want to say to help you but if I start it's gonna turn into a wall of text. I'd recommended you ask some of the more experienced writters here how you could improve this (like Morion here for example, they've written some solid stories). And most of all keep writing! You will get there!
9670727
I chalk it up to lack of writing experience
Creative take on things. I like it and am looking forward to more.
The Monk
“On her doorstep was Twilight Sparkle. While Derpy deeply respected the mare, like most in Ponyville, they wished she'd either switch to decaf, or start hitting the harder stuff.” -Dan_s Comments
I really enjoyed it. This story is really interesting please continue it
I will don’t worry, i have more in store
9670326
Take some batteries.
10183505
The heck does that mean? X3
10184853
You'll figure that one out in a minute
That is great. UPSers