• Member Since 26th Apr, 2019
  • offline last seen Jul 1st, 2019

Arillia


Comments ( 12 )

It's always refreshing to see a story that doesn't bash Zephyr. (I'm looking at you MythrilMoth) Please respond to this comment.

Damn three downvotes before I even finished editing, and not a commented reason for them in sight. Well, that's disappointing. But I guess to each their own. I loved writing this story even though I only knew a little about the characters from my research online. I liked the idea of a brother who was obviously normally obnoxious turning out to have turned his life and their relationship around. So if people are really downvoting this just cause it has Zephyr and he's not an asshole then so be it.

The down votes on this can only be from people seeing it posted but hating on it for subject mater. If you have even a passing tolerance for incest this is an amazing story so full of feels along with some really passionate sex. Your writing style is perfect for this type of story and it deserves a much better vote ratio. This is one of if not the best Zephyr/Shy stories I have ever read. I also love how you threw in some animistic details to pony mating it's not something you see a lot of in most mlp clop and the amount you put in was like the perfect spice and not overdone. All in all a great story and I hope not the last we get to see from you.

I'm with Silver. While I'm only part of the way into it so far this is well written, the dialogue feels authentic and it beats by miles most 'fetish' stuff you see. There's heart put into this. Please don't let the downvotes discourage you. I can't wait to read more.

9595547
Thank you so much for your comments. I wish more people would give good comments even if some of them are bad. It bothers me the most that people can downvote a story without any explanation at all for what they thought was bad about it. Just a thumbs down doesn't really help to improve anything; you know?" But anyway I really appreciate it.

Uh, multiple time you switch back and forth between them having hands and then having hooves.

9597058
See now that is useful. I tried to remember to say hooves each time but with MLP they manipulate things as if they have hands so often that I forget they don't have hands. I will read through again and attempt to edit each appearance of hands to hooves.

I have edited specifically for this issue. Thank you so much for your comment.

9598237
If you're using a computer ctrl + f opens the find text bar type in hand and it'll take you to every hand and hands specifically. If you're on a phone I've only ever used Chrome but if you use Chrome "find..." or "find in page" can be found in the browser options menu on the top right next to the address bar. Also if you have a half decent text to audio voice on whatever device you use you can listen to the story be read back to you while doing something and pause and mark anything if you catch something that doesn't sound right.

It was interesting and had some heart warming feels in it too it was injoyable

As a wise man once said:
"YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!"

For someone who doesn't watch the source, you came remarkably close to capturing the characters and their voices. Well done.

Edit: Your description seems to indicate a different plot than what the story delivers. You mention a prank, but there's none in the story, just honest mistakes (yes, even the calendar since you mention the lack of education). I'm probably overthinking.

I wonder what rainbow dash’s reaction would be?

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