A simple fan who is trying his best! Fair warning my stories tend to focus on everypony's favorite dragon!
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This a story that takes place before Princess Twilight arrives in this world and shows Sci-Twi and Spike become friends who will do anything to defend their city from the forces of magic. They will fight to learn the nature of the magic that is in them and meet characters that we never saw in the movies or series. Both friends and foes will be confronted as the future of Canterlot City is thrown into question.
(Season One completed)
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REALLY good work on this first chapter. The exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up were all well done in all the right places. I especially liked the details that went into the bits and pieces of Spike's backstory (i.e. getting orphaned when he was barely old enough to remember his parents, getting adopted by Principal Celestia and becoming a little brother to Cadance, his first meeting with Luna, learning to love comic books and video games and then his first meetings with Shining AND Twilight and, finally, he and Twilight finding that stone in the park (most likely the stone Celestia and Luna tossed from Equestria after they, Spike and their army defeated Katrina).
So, yes, I will VERY certainly be eagerly awaiting more of this.
9594244
Thanks sorry the next chapter has taken so long, my work has kept me busy and today is my birthday. I hope you enjoy what I came up with though!
9594409
I definitely did.
Oh, today's your birthday? In that case, happy (semi-late) birthday.
9595369
Thanks heh it was fun but tomorrow I have a chapter to finish!
Great job on this latest chapter. The exchanges, characterizations, action, humor and future chapter set-up were all well done in all the right places. So Spike gained pyrokinetic abilities (as well as probably skin tough enough to use them without hurting himself) and Twilight gained telekinetic abilities. And, yeah, I LOVED seeing Twilight and Spike bonding over learning to control their new abilities and bond even further over at the restaurant/arcade. Plus, Twilight and Spike's first meeting with Scootaloo was wonderful stuff too. And, yikes, the final scene with Principal Celestia and the Mayor definitely gives me an appropriately bad feeling.
Not to mention the possibility that Sunset Shimmer and the Dazzlings would definitely be interested in finding fragments of that rock if they knew about it, which ALSO potentially ups the ante.
Sunset is in the city and while we may see her here and there, I think I'll avoid having her meet Twilight for now but the dazzlings are another threat. Next chapters will have some familiar faces, friend and foe
9603015
Gotcha. Kind of half-figured, but thanks very much for verifying.
Excellent job on this latest chapter. Again, the exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up are all well done, as well as how good a job you do on balancing the humor, the serious stuff and the heart-warming stuff. I especially liked Twilight and Spike working together to calm each other down under the dangerous circumstances, Celestia managing to get in a genuine Mama Bear moment without overshadowing Twilight and Spike, the bits of the now ex-Mayor's backstory that explained just how he ended up the way he did, Twilight and Spike managing to beat the corruption of the dark magic through teamwork AND keeping focused on the positive details (including images of their families AND their Equestrian counterparts) and Twilight and Spike, in general, acknowledging that their work has JUST begun and they still have a lot more hunting to do. And, yeah, I DID enjoy the unnamed cameos by both Rainbow AND Sunset too. At any rate, first adventure finished, many more to go.
9617316
Im so glad you enjoyed the chapter, a lot of it just came to me while I wrote and if felt right. I did say we wouldn't see the other element holders but I may have them cameo while having their family or friends mention them around Spike and Twilight. You gave me the idea for sunset when you mentioned her before and i decided to show how she finds out about Twilight and when the crown comes into her plans. Here she has an item that can find other magic and in her hands that is very dangerous. I really wanted to do the princesses justice so had each one teach or show off just why they are the best in any world. The next chapter will have a familiar villain I have repurposed for this story so I hope you are looking forward to that!
9617380
Yes, I am. :-D And thanks very much again.
REALLY good job on this latest chapter. The narration-opening concerning Twilight and Spike's first OFFICIAL case as paranormal detectives was a great touch, as was the Crusaders' argument concerning genres to tackle (before Bloom got - infected). And, yeah, I also enjoyed the dialogue between Twilight and Spike both before and after Sweetie and Scootaloo showed up. And, yeah, the fight with the shadow creatures was great stuff, especially with Twilight and Spike offering the Crusaders honorary positions in the agency after the adventure was over.
So, yeah, once more, the exchanges, action, characterization, humor, case wrap-up and future chapter set-up are all well done in all the right places.
9635339
Thanks CK! I'm glad you enjoyed it and I have a few days off of work finally so I'll be able to finish another chapter really soon, I can't tell you too much about it but know that a character we know will be making their debute and this will be very old action type of story I hope you'll enjoy!"
9635391
Gotcha. Not going to pry.
Have to say, I LOVED the work that went into this latest chapter. I adored the "sibling chat" between Spike and Cadance around the start of the chapter. And the Crusaders showing Twilight and Spike Canterlot High before they all headed off to the new Daring Do movie was quite well done (especially the Sunset cameo). Plus, Daring sharing an adventure with Twilight, Spike and the Crusaders was quite well done. And, yeah, that last scene with Starlight and Sombra makes for superb future adventure set-up.
Naturally, the exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up all had a great job done on them.
9638302
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! This chapter went on far longer than I thought it would but I think it's because I wanted to give everyone a bit more than normal. I did enjoy writing the beginning because those two being sibling is cute to me. I was gonna have them just look at the statue, feeling weird about it because of the portal there but also had sunset there to show that she has been working on her own and has nearly discovered the way back to Equestria. Writing Daring was weird since in this world she was an adventurer who only had simple adventures and wanted to be the one in her books. I was wondering how you and others will take Starlight being Sombra's child in this, even if she is adopted by him obviously, but I thought it would make Sombra more human in a sense, He basically did what Celestia did with Spike and truly does care for the girl which is different for his character.
9638609
Yeah. That makes pretty good sense actually. Very much an Even Evil Has Loved Ones type of deal as well as an Evil (but not TOO evil) Counterpart to Principal Celestia. And I'm guessing something REALLY bad happened to THIS universe's version of Firelight if Sombra was able to adopt Starlight. But that's all I'm going to guess in order to minimize spoilers.
9639489
Yeah trying to give Sombra more than pure evil and teaming him with Starlight was my idea. I have a plan for Firelight but yes something bad must have happened.
9639663
Okie-dokie. Thanks again.
REALLY good job on this latest chapter. I especially liked seeing Twilight and Spike practicing with their powers (and gaining NEW ones in the process) as well as their banter concerning Spike's movie marathons, discussions concerning their respective older siblings, reflections on their respective mothers' family albums and first meeting with Sombra and Starlight. Plus, Marble's first meeting with Grey (and Grey's first meeting with Discord) were well done too. And, yeah. It DOES make sense for this story to be happening at the same time as your other story's second season opener. Just one detail, though. I think you meant "Friendship Games" NOT "Equestria Games" .
At any rate, splendid job, as usual, on the exchanges, characterizations humor and future chapter set-up in all the right places.
9647908
I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter as I think I only have two more chapters in this before going back for season two with the Dragon Alchemist. All the banter and things was supposed to show how far the two had come and I think you're right about the games line. I changed it to the right one, my mimd turned to that one first and I forgot about the Friendship Games ha.
REALLY good job on the exchanges, characterizations, action, humor and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I especially liked how Discord ended up bonding a bit with Grey despite himself as well as Celestia reflecting on her family (both her parents AND her children in different time periods) as well as the fight the Discord-powered Grey put up against Twilight, Spike, the Crusaders, Sunset AND Starlight. And yeah, Marble's chat with Spike was a pretty good detail as well as the ironic similarities that the Discord-powered Grey had with CANON Sci-Twi AND the point out that Discord is better to have as an ally than as an enemy (though at least the heroes are smart enough to have some sort of a precautionary measure in case Grey loses control over Discord). Plus, Villain With Good Publicity details (to the point where, at least at present, even Twilight and Spike are fooled) of THIS universe's Sombra and Starlight are great.
9656521
Yeah i would say that this is discord was affected the moment that they were bonded, his human emotions becoming a part of discord even a bit so the bond could be made. Celestia in this might not be powerful yet but that isn't why she's so special in this world she is defined by her character and has no magic to lean on so i added bits here to give her more. I couldn't help but make Starlight, Sunset, and Twilight a team, being the strongest in Canterlot City other than Discord and Spike who may still be weaker than them. I made grey another reflection of what Twi could have been or hell what spike could have been if they didn't have their families. Yeah the next chapter we will see Sombra's greatest play and how he sees his role in all this.
Really good job on this latest chapter. Once more, the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up are all well done in all the right places. I especially liked Spike's bonding with Grey/Discord as well as Marble's chat with Twilight, Sombra's bits (i.e. his observations concerning how Filthy is staying in the race, that artifact he has that Starlight DOESN'T know about and that deal with Arabus Cloud) and Starlight's observations concerning her time with Twilight, Spike and their friends AND what happened to her birth father.
9664504
Yeah I wanted to show this group becoming closer as family and friends, ending it on a good note while giving the villains much more to their outlook and why they feel they are in the right. Sombra is just a man who feels beatened down by the world and was given power to change that but he does have one more big thing to him i haven't showed while Starlight is now caught between her want to be one of the group and her beloved father, not mentioning what is behind the disappearance of her real father
Sorry I took a while to get around to reviewing this. A combination of the chapter's size and self-admitted laziness (more the latter than the former though). Still, the effort that went into this chapter really shows. The exchanges, action, characterizations and future adventure/season set-up are all well done in all the right places. I particularly liked Grey/Discord's chat with Shiny, Twilight's dialogue with Vinyl, the upgrade Discord gave the Crusaders so they could help out, the banter between Sunset and Starlight, the final fight with Twilight and Spike against Arabus and the epilogue details (mostly Cadance finding out she's pregnant and Spike and Twilight's commentary about their classroom painting). Though I have to admit Sombra's scheme is VERY appropriately chilling (and a little too similar to Cozy's scheme over in Equestria), as was his getting ready to finish off Filthy (the fact his final thoughts are concern for his own daughter is ALSO quite appropriate).
Anyway, definitely looking forward to more of your work in general.
9678583
No problem, I know it was pretty damn long heh. I really wanted to give every last person in my story a purpose and role to play in this final fight much like the Katrina Invasion that led to this but wanted to also show off more characters talking and having fun than just pure action. I suppose I wanted to show off more just how different these versions are from their counterparts and the epilogue ended in a more lighter tone than The Alchemist's Dreams which was a victory which cost the group some pain and Spike especially while this one destroyed the city and changed the characters lives in a different way. Cadance's little secret and Sombra's plan are more season-long things that will a much deeper impact on these heroes. Much like Cozy Sombra in this is unhinged and crazy but unlike the pegasus he wants to do this to protect his loved one and he does feel guilty for having to kill the kids eventually but Starlight will be the one caught between herself in the next season. Filthy was a bit of an ass but to hear his last words were for his daughter I believe that gave something to him and you can bet that Diamond Tiara will show up as a dark reflection to Starlight
9678674
Yeah. I can definitely see ALL those points.
9635339
I agree with Mr/Mrs. Kook this is a very well written piece of work and I look forward to more.
9691023
Thanks! I know this story still needs some work here and there before it's at the level of my other story but I'll keep working at it until it's the best it can be!
To quote Starlight "It's about to get magical!"
9691106
Yep this story took a lot more from slice of life stories and superhero origins
9691127
just finished reading this and now i cant wait for season 2
9825584
Heh it will be after the Alchemist's Dream season two but I have plans all set out for this one
9825622
I love everyone of your stories but like i said there is defiantly a romantic spark happening between twilight and spike in destiny duo
when I first saw the story and red base of it, I was like "oh this is like that tv show 'The Life and Times of Juniper Lee'" now I wonder if it going to be like that or not
10023067
Ooo is it a good show?
10023073
was alright,
"The magic and human worlds have been separated by a magical barrier, known as "The Veil," which prevents ordinary humans from seeing any magic-related events or the creatures related to them. Juniper has recently been made the new Te Xuan Ze, the protector and the keeper of the balance between the human and magic worlds. To accomplish her task, she has been magically enhanced, making her far stronger and faster than ordinary humans. She can also use various kinds of magic to assist her. Maintaining the balance often interferes with her personal life, including her schoolwork and her social life, but she always manages to keep everything flowing. The show has a fairly campy and lighthearted take on the genre, often makes fun of itself, and rarely seems to take itself seriously. " from wikipidia about the base of the show.
her grandma was the last Te Zuan Ze.
10023093
Hmm actually I am writing a new story which sounds a lot like that. I can show you if you ever want to see it but the first chapter isn't done yet