Oh this is so very going into the list of canon stories....from the sound of things it takes place after Carrot Top Season. Episodes 17, 18, and 21 are still free; any preference as to which?

Some highlights, and two minor quibbles:

“Fine…I’ll answer the door. Then do whatever stupid thing it is they want me to do. When Equestria is set on fire by Corona and we couldn’t stop her because I wasn’t able to spend time with my friends to boost our harmony levels or however those stupid Elements work I’m going to have it put in my epitaph that it was the fault of this one pony who wouldn’t stop knocking on my day off!”

I nearly fell off my chair after reading this.

“So did you save the town or something? Like it says in the song?” asked Carrot Top as she stirred a pot of something that smelled good enough to get Trixie’s mouth watering.

“Did you commit arson, like it says in the song?” asked Raindrops with a wry grin.

Trixie's follow-up line is great, too, but Raindrops here made my day.

One of those favors was ferrying a package to a small farming hamlet on the edge of the kingdom called Oaton

This is my first minor quibble. Here you refer to Oaton as a kingdom and Trixie is going to some hamlet within it; but earlier, you called the hamlet itself Oaton. Which is it?

My map of the Lunaverse doesn't include a kingdom called Oaton, though I don't mind adding one somewhere. If I did, though, it'd have to be considerably further away from Ponyville than Cheerilee suggests, given that Ponyville is near the center of Equestria.

If you meant to have Oaton to be a hamlet in some tiny province of Equestria, though, that's easily workable. I suggest the South Everfree province.

"It was years ago, my very first year at Night Court actually.”

Trixie wasn't a part of the Night Court at all prior to arriving in Ponyville. However, I can believe that she was trying to put her hoof in the waters (and failing) at this point. I just want to make sure it's clear, though, that she has literally nothing at this point.

However, my bigger problem is the bourbon thing. Trixie's actually quite young; I imagine her as the second-youngest of the L-6 after Raindrops. If this was "years ago," she'd be quite the miniature alcoholic at this point.

...Oh my god....

Not only is this brilliant, but I am very jealous I didn't come up with this concept.

track track track.

Trixie had it on good authority from her friends that fun was indeed worth the time investment required and had even gotten to experience far more of it herself than she’d ever dreamed possible a year ago since making said friends

Um....Are the implications of the sentence that Trixie met her friends roughly a year ago? Cos I'm pretty sure that's...gonna cause problems. Maybe I'm just reading a it too much into it though.

Otherwise A nice introduction to the story. Especially happy to see RD being not close to exploding in rage.

Someone is a Firefly fan I see...Heh we going to have a firearm spell named "Vera" too ?

Anyway, this looks like it's going to be a lot of fun.  Will be very interesting to see where this goes and how exactly Trixie deals with this sort of situation.  Nice work thus far! Added to my favorites and tracked.

"The Trixie you are trying to reach is no longer in service.”

Ha!

Now, back to reading.

Edit: I agree with RDD. Unless Trixie was the youngest drunk in history, you might want to shorten the time gap between then and now.

And I love the idea that Trixie saved the day while drunk out of her mind.

While I approve of Firefly references, I must admit this doesn't quite match up to the wonder of the original. Then again, very few things match up to Jayne.

Regardless, favorited and thumbed up.

>>10547691054769

Raindrops - "This is what going mad must feel like."

Cheerilee - "We gotta go to the crappy town where I'm a hero."

>>10553861055386

Heh.  Shiny!

Ooh, I love it. The humor elements work really well. Thumbs-uped and favorited. This looks likes it going to be quite entertaining.

(And I haven't seen Firefly, so I guess I'm going into this one blind. :-)  ).

First chapter in and I'm already liking where this is going

I love the fact that even the song that hails Trixie as a hero still keeps in the fact that she was drunk at the time.

Okay first, the good.  This is a delightfully well written story.  The dialogue is snappy and the narrative descriptions weave a wonderful visual.  Whatever else I may say from here, I want to first make it abundantly clear that I very much enjoyed this story on its own merit.

That said, while the premise for this story is basically sound and amusing, I feel like it's a little misaimed.  What made the episode of Firefly you seem to be referencing work so well was that Jayne is such an obvious non-hero.  Trixie used to be sort of that way, but more so in the time before LNLD.  Granted that's exactly the time frame this whole Oatan incident happened in, but from a reader perspective she's pretty much always been a hero, if a somewhat self-absorbed and overbearingly egotistical one.  This means that none of the same tension exists; we've already seen as early as LNLD that when push comes to shove Trixie has what it takes to step up and be the hero everyone in this filly's hometown thinks her to be.  She's also presumably quite a bit younger than Jayne, so there really wouldn't seem to have been a sufficient gap of time for the legend to grow to such proportions.

Something fun. Fun, that thing that other ponies who weren’t Representatives of the Night Court got to have. Trixie had it on good authority from her friends that fun was indeed worth the time investment required

This set of lines is giving me mixed impressions.  As pure hyperbole to express how boring Trixie finds her job and duties it's great, but the context makes it feel a bit too much like she's being 100% genuine in the sentiment that she rarely, if ever, had fun before coming Ponyville (even somewhat suggesting she never even bothered trying).  That just doesn't seem even remotely right.  She's hardly a stuffed shirt who only ever had political ambitions or a socially reclusive shut-in like M!Twilight.  She doesn't seem like she was lacking "fun" before coming to Ponyville, but rather simply had no friends to share it with.

Years of street performance had engrained something of a dramatic streak into Trixie that could get away from her at times.

L!Trixie has been Luna's apprentice since very shortly after the day she put on her first private show for her grandfather.  She never had to perform for a living or any such.  Further, as I recall, staging actual public shows is something she's only taken to in earnest recently, at Luna's recommendation after Trixie took to it so well to it during her LNLD scheme.  Then again, maybe I'm just mixing up my references as I can't seem to find where it is specifically spelled out in any of RDDs works at this exact moment.

“Are you…are you…Trixie Lulamoon?”

Somehow I feel that should be The Great & Powerful Trixie.

“Why me?” Trixie asked, the gears of her mind turning.

Seems an odd question for Trixie to ask.  Ever since LNLD she's become something of a nationwide celebrity, the hero who saved Equestria from the Tyrant Sun.  If nothing else, that fact alone should provide reason enough for random strangers from far off towns to be begging her for help.  Again this is where things breakdown as compared to the apparent source.  Jayne was pretty much a nameless mercenary, while Trixie has stared down an insane god and lived to tell the tale and even before that she was personal portage to the ruler of the entire nation.

>>10545261054526

Oh yes, I very much enjoyed both those scenes as well.  Like I said, this fic is a pure joy to read in and of itself.  I'm just having trouble reconciling it with the wider canon.

The timing could be a wee bit better for her save; maybe, say, three or so months before the Ice Palace incident?

>>10556331055633

Oh you are in for a treat, then.

if a somewhat self-absorbed and overbearingly egotistical one.

Yeah, but the song makes her out to be a fine and upstanding hero in the vein of Robin Hood or some other Lawful Good pony. Bushel also clearly thinks that she's some kind of paragon. So, maybe, not quite as fun as Jayne, but still a hoot in its own way.

Then again, maybe I'm just mixing up my references as I can't seem to find where it is specifically spelled out in any of RDDs works at this exact moment.

Mmn...that is a good point, I missed that...I can see Trixie having put on small shows here and there for any friends she did have at the time (before driving them away), thus allowing her to get practice in, though, so a minor point overal.

Firefly plot reference?  I think Trixie fits Mal better than Jayne though.

Hmmm.

Trixie-Jayne

Cheerilee-Wash

Ditzy-Shepard Book

Carrot Top-Kaylee

Lyra-Inara

Raindrops-Zoe

In that case, who are Simon, River, and Mal?

Whoa...many comments. Responding time is now!

>>10545261054526

Oh this is so very going into the list of canon stories....from the sound of things it takes place after Carrot Top Season. Episodes 17, 18, and 21 are still free; any preference as to which?

Either 17 or 18 would work for me.

This is my first minor quibble. Here you refer to Oaton as a kingdom and Trixie is going to some hamlet within it; but earlier, you called the hamlet itself Oaton. Which is it?

Ah,yeah, that line probably should've had a comma in it or otherwise been made clearer. Oaton is just a small hamlet in Equestira. 'the kingdom' was referring to Equestria as a whole, as in Oaton is on the edge of 'the kingdom'.

Trixie wasn't a part of the Night Court at all prior to arriving in Ponyville. However, I can believe that she was trying to put her hoof in the waters (and failing) at this point. I just want to make sure it's clear, though, that she has literally nothing at this point.

However, my bigger problem is the bourbon thing. Trixie's actually quite young; I imagine her as the second-youngest of the L-6 after Raindrops. If this was "years ago," she'd be quite the miniature alcoholic at this point.

Ah, I'd gotten the impression she'd actually been a part of the system, just in a sort of weird non-titled way, like Luna just sort of tossed Trixie into the mix and said "Go, practice politics, try not to screw up too badly" and Trixie got the first two parts but not the third. Still I can made a few edits to make it clear that Trixie was mostly just screwing around on her own initiative without any actual tie to the Night Court, but was still trying to dig dirt up on nobles to use for future use.

As for the alcohol/age thing, I'll admit I thought Trixie was older than your indicating. I'm not sure what drinking age limits Equestria has, if any, but I'd been operating under the notion Trixie is early twenties (22ish) and that, say, three years ago a 19 year old Trixie could still conceivably be allowed to indulge in drink. If she's younger than that I can adjust time frame of her first trip to Oaton so that it takes place, maybe a year prior? Still don't know what age you want her at, but does that sound closer to an acceptable mark?

>>10546311054631

Gah, me and my poorly worded sentences. I was mostly just trying to imply that, say, a year ago, Trixie was minus any friends, at least any she could keep around. I can probably just take out the time frame reference to make that sentence make more sense.

Yeah, I figure Raindrops might have anger issues, but it takes very specific or extreme things to really trigger her actual 'rage mode'.

>>10547691054769

Oh yes, I am indeed a fan of Firefly. Heh, funny you bring up the "Vera" reference, as when the thought struck me to do a send up to one of episodes as a Lunaverse fic it was a close tie between "Jaynestown" and "Our Mrs. Reynolds".

>>10548871054887

Agreed, Jayne rocks. But then, so does Trixie, just for very different reasons. If I manage to entertain folks to even a fraction of the source material that inspired me I'll consider myself having succeeded in my intent.

>>10556331055633

Must. Watch. Firefly. Fortunately even if you do watch it and see Jaynestown, the episode this is inspired by, you'll hopfully still be able to enjoy what's to come, since while I'm using the episode as a framework, the details of the plot and the overall themes should be different enough to essentially be its own story.

>>10559331055933

That said, while the premise for this story is basically sound and amusing, I feel like it's a little misaimed.  What made the episode of Firefly you seem to be referencing work so well was that Jayne is such an obvious non-hero.  Trixie used to be sort of that way, but more so in the time before LNLD.  Granted that's exactly the time frame this whole Oatan incident happened in, but from a reader perspective she's pretty much always been a hero, if a somewhat self-absorbed and overbearingly egotistical one.  This means that none of the same tension exists; we've already seen as early as LNLD that when push comes to shove Trixie has what it takes to step up and be the hero everyone in this filly's hometown thinks her to be.  She's also presumably quite a bit younger than Jayne, so there really wouldn't seem to have been a sufficient gap of time for the legend to grow to such proportions.

I'll admit I was wondering if the theme of the story might not quite match the same poignancy we get in Jaynestown due to just how different Trixie and Jayne are from each other, but I also figure that's something I can work with. I'm using Jaynestown as a framework, but the meat of the story is essentially different. You're right though, that tension wise the audience might not see the same level of contrast between Trixie being viewed as a hero as the ice-water-to-face slap the Serenity crew get when they first run into that statue of Jayne in Canton. My plan here (and by plan I mean 'loose set of vague notions I have that are connected by still forming plot points') is to make this story focus on the rather wide discrepancy between how the ponyfolk of Oaton view their 'Hero', how Trixie's friends view her, and how Trixie looks at herself, and the conflict that arises between those viewpoints as Trixie tries to take care of Oaton's current problems.

This set of lines is giving me mixed impressions.  As pure hyperbole to express how boring Trixie finds her job and duties it's great, but the context makes it feel a bit too much like she's being 100% genuine in the sentiment that she rarely, if ever, had fun before coming Ponyville (even somewhat suggesting she never even bothered trying).  That just doesn't seem even remotely right.  She's hardly a stuffed shirt who only ever had political ambitions or a socially reclusive shut-in like M!Twilight.  She doesn't seem like she was lacking "fun" before coming to Ponyville, but rather simply had no friends to share it with.

I see what you're saying here. I think I tend to view Trixie as being more melodramatic than most, so I tend to give a sarcastic and exaggerated twist to my own view of her inner dialogue. That line was really just her complaining about her work, perhaps going so overboard as to suggest she never gets to enjoy herself. We know that's not true, Trixie knows that's not true, but that won't stop her from blowing things out of proportion to make herself feel better. But I could probably tinker with that line to smooth it out and make it tone it down some. Or at least make it clearer that its just Trixie whingeing because she feels like it.

L!Trixie has been Luna's apprentice since very shortly after the day she put on her first private show for her grandfather.  She never had to perform for a living or any such.  Further, as I recall, staging actual public shows is something she's only taken to in earnest recently, at Luna's recommendation after Trixie took to it so well to it during her LNLD scheme.  Then again, maybe I'm just mixing up my references as I can't seem to find where it is specifically spelled out in any of RDDs works at this exact moment.

Mmn...that is a good point, I missed that...I can see Trixie having put on small shows here and there for any friends she did have at the time (before driving them away), thus allowing her to get practice in, though, so a minor point overal.

Another one of those things that slips through the swiss-cheese nature of my brain. I can tinker with the line some.

Somehow I feel that should be The Great & Powerful Trixie

Hm, you know you're right, given the way I got it in my head how things went down in Oaton the first time a title like that would make a lot more sense.

Seems an odd question for Trixie to ask.  Ever since LNLD she's become something of a nationwide celebrity, the hero who saved Equestria from the Tyrant Sun.  If nothing else, that fact alone should provide reason enough for random strangers from far off towns to be begging her for help.  Again this is where things breakdown as compared to the apparent source.  Jayne was pretty much a nameless mercenary, while Trixie has stared down an insane god and lived to tell the tale and even before that she was personal portage to the ruler of the entire nation.

Fair point, but I'm working off of the other Lunaverse fics where, despite having saved the world from a crazy sun goddess Trixie and Co. don't seem to actually have a lot of celebrity. Most ponies seem to recognize that they are the Elements, but don't seem to make much fanfare about it. I'm under the impression that, unlike in M-verse canon, Trixie and the other Elements haven't really gotten the same publicity. Still, the line would be easy enough, and perhaps actually fit the story better, if I changed it to being Trixie assuming Bushel was asking for the help of an Element of Harmony, and the kid brushing aside the whole Elements thing as unimportant, that she's here to get Trixie because she's the Hero of Oaton.

>>10559891055989

I'm thinking of making a year prior now, given what other folk have said. And has RDD ever explained what that Ice Palace incident was? Other than an incident. With an Ice Palace.

>>10581121058112

Heh, if I'd decided to do "Our Mrs. Reynolds" as the inspiration for a story, Trixie would've had Mal's spot in that one.

>>10602651060265

It's kind of like the noodle incident from Calvin and Hobbes. Trixie is supposed to have screwed up big time but we'll never learn quite how.

>>10602941060294

We know that it was as soon as three weeks before "Longest Night, Longest Day." We know that Amethyst Star, Octavia, Lyra, Moonlight Smiles, Frolicsome Meadowlark, and possibly Vast Volumes were there, as well as Luna. And we know that the ice palace melted, and that it's Trixie's fault, and that she somehow managed to convince Luna from there that it was really Luna's fault since Trixie's bored because she's not getting any real responsibility from Luna.

And that's all we'll ever know.

Glad to see your aware of the differences between Jayne and Trixie, and that you intend to account for such.

I think I tend to view Trixie as being more melodramatic than most, so I tend to give a sarcastic and exaggerated twist to my own view of her inner dialogue.

One need only read the first four paragraphs GOtL:Ch3 to know that I fundamentally agree with Trixie being melodramatic.  That's why my first presumption was hyperbole, and I only brought up anything else because I thought the context of the scene made it too easily mistaken for fact.

Fair point, but I'm working off of the other Lunaverse fics where, despite having saved the world from a crazy sun goddess Trixie and Co. don't seem to actually have a lot of celebrity. Most ponies seem to recognize that they are the Elements, but don't seem to make much fanfare about it. I'm under the impression that, unlike in M-verse canon, Trixie and the other Elements haven't really gotten the same publicity.

Actually, I've always seen it a bit the other way around.  In the show, no one ever really seems to mention anything about the M6 or their connection with the Elements unless there is a pressing need to use them (Discord/Chrysalis).  Where as, while it's still not all that big a deal, ponies are constantly bringing up that the L6 are the bearers of the Elements of Harmony.

That said, there is still a bit of a dissonance in how various Lunaverse fics have treated the level of celebrity they possess.  They certainly aren't mobbed where ever they go level famous, but most ponies seem to at least know them by name and deed.  And even if they don't regularly have folks beating down their doors with such requests, there should probably be little surprise whenever someone come by seemingly seeking the aid EoH.

Alright, a few slight edits made in response to all the helpful comments.

Set the date of Trixie's first time through Oaton at being a little over a year ago, so she's a slightly less young alcoholic. Sound more plausible to folks?

>>10612901061290

I think I'll just take that as a sign that you really shouldn't make a palace out of ice anyway. Doesn't sound structurally stable.

...Hopefully it was insured.

>>10712401071240

Sounds more plausible.

I've been avoiding giving any of them exact ages because I'm not sure how magical ponies from a rediculous technicolor world age relative to humans and terrestrial ponies*, but in human terms I've been thinking of them all as: Raindrops, 17-19; Trixie, 20-21; Ditzy Doo, 23-24; Carrot Top, 25; Lyra, 25-26; Cheerilee, 26-27 (and no more than a year older than Lyra).

---------------------------

*The Cakes' twins are 1 month old for most of "Baby Cakes" according to Pinkie's monthiversary song. They're much more developed than human babies would be by that point, able to crawl around when 1-month-old babies can't even roll over; on the other hand, they're much less developed than pony foals would be.

Okay, that song? pure win. And I just finished watching Firefly to boot.

And yeah, Trixie's got bluster, but even now she'll pony up for her friends.

This is interesting. Trying to balance Bushel's image of her with the depressing reality of the dam simply being a warm-up for the Ice Palace should be a fairly interesting way to spend a long weeked.

I love just how much Trixie is willing to play up the "Hero of Oaten" image just so she won't make a child sad.

Very nice to see that this is going to be a lot more complicated then some fun Firefly references.  Lovely work with the characters going and characterization within this piece.  Works very well thus far.  Also Trixie is very nicely layered here so props all around.  Anxious to see where this takes us.  Nicely done.

This is interesting. Trying to balance Bushel's image of her with the depressing reality of the dam simply being a warm-up for the Ice Palace should be a fairly interesting way to spend a long weeked.

Lulamoon might have legitimately saved the day! If probably accidentally.

Alright, first off, this is still technically a wonderfully written story.  Seriously your skill with prose makes me jealous.  That said...

About the time line, I still think ONE year is a bit short for Trixie to have reached such legendary status in Oatan.  Even the FOUR years in the Firefly episode was a bit short, but only a single year stretches my suspension of disbelief.  For this kind of story to work I think at least SEVEN years is the magic number, as it gives time for children who weren't even born yet to have lived the whole of their short lives hearing exaggerated tales of the event.  Obviously that wouldn't work here with how young Trixie herself is, but I still think say THREE years would be better.

About spells, I've always thought that both invisibility and inaudibility were among the oldest spells in Trixie's repertoire.  Plus with dogs there would still remain the issue of masking scent, not to mention tricking the magic detecting wards.

About sleeping schedules, Trixie has been Luna protégée since she earned her cutie mark, so she should have had years to adjust her sleeping habits.

About alcohol, not that we should be encouraging such, but when Trixie mentions coming of age, I think a "technically" should be added.  She seems to me the sort that very likely snuck drinks beforehand, especially given the somewhat disturbingly close relationship she seems to have with Monsieur Bourbon by modern times.  Though I guess there really was that part in LNLD where Trixie mentions never having a hangover before, funny how a character can evolve without really noticing (now I might just have to go back and reread that whole fic).

...

Just to reiterate that I am enjoying this fic and prove I'm not all complaints.  I absolutely adored the way half-drunk Trixie drives the baddies off when first arriving, merely because she had no use for ponies with no alcohol to offer (Trixie. Great and Powerful. Try to keep up; love it).  I also really like how it's not just her ego, but her showmareship that has her not wanting to disappoint Bushel.  The part about Bushel having snuck off to get Trixie was fairly obvious a mile off, but I still adored the bit with Ditzy mom-staring a confession out of her.

The bits with talking about the Lulamoon persona were cute.  Not sure a conversation would really go down that way or not, but it was still entertaining.

“Not important! Yay Cheerilee has time off and can come with me! This conversation can now move on to other things! More important things that have nothing to do with anything involving me and talking about…that…ever again!”

There are so many quote worth bits in this chapter, it's hard to pic just one, but this might be my favorite.

...

Oh, and I'm a bit curious if we'll see anything of what Cheerilee asks Bushel overnight or just skip straight to morning.  Mostly because I have some very specific ideas of what I think Cheerilee's home should be like.  Way back in some brainstorming thread or another it was discussed what kinds of pets the L6 might have, and one of the ideas I REALLY liked is that Cheerilee is something like a crazy cat lady, only with fish.  Bowls and tanks all over the place and every fish having its own name.

Still really enjoying this. I can't wait to find out what really happened in Oaten, and to meet the folks working for the Copper Coins. :-)

Hrm. I really hope this turns out to be something other than the standard 'plucky townsfolk vs big bad developers' scenario.

>>10953681095368

Trixie's pet is Snuffles, the invisible astral honey badger.

More amazing Lunaverse stories!

Also I am very psyched to see a story that will be giving the two most underused characters (Raindrops and Cheer) some attention.

Seriously Raindrops is awesome and needs more stories.

Excellent! Somehow the update snuck beneath my radar... I think I forgot to check the 'email update' box... Wait... it wasn't in my favorites? What?! time to fix that!

Like Emeral I think the timeline is a little bit short, but it's innevitable I guess. Unless Trixie did something VERY impressive of course.

Anyway keep up the good work!

>>11029471102947 Don't I agree. We do have a full on group about her now. Raindrops needs more love. Go check the list of fics.

Since moving to Canterlot and becoming Princess Luna’s apprentice her sleep schedule had gotten all out of whack. Luna was a nocturnal being and wasn’t about to change that for Trixie, so Trixie had to get used to sleeping mostly during the day and being active at night. She still wasn’t quite used to it and was more than a little cranky.

As Emeral pointed out, she has been Luna's apprentice since acquiring her cutie mark, so she should be used to the schedule by now.

“Okay, okay, can you just skip to the important part where you did the hero thing?” said Raindrops as Trixie described the way some wind or something was blowing her cape.

That bolded bit seems unnecessary, especially with the preceding doing essentially the same thing.

“We like you just fine Trixie,” Ditzy said, coming over and putting a hoof on the blue unicorn’s shoulder, “I’ve never met this other you either and I’m perfectly fine with there just being the one you. No alcohol required.”

“Thanks…I think,” Trixie said, giving Ditzy a small smile

"Thanks...I think" usually comes after something that was hard for that person to determine was a compliment of insult. I'm not really seeing it from what Ditzy said.

the Lumber Guild set a big mean basilisk loose in the forest-“

“Wait, a basilisk!?” Trixie said, eyes wide, but Bushel just kept right on going.

“- and its already turned Mr. and Mrs. Thresher to stone

Aren't basilisks more known for killing people, not turning them to stone?

Still a wonderful story and...sorry I can't say more about it. I have a terrible time trying to compliment people online besides the generic "This is a*Enter positive adjective here* story". Just know that I'm happy while reading this story.

Not bad, here. I like Trixie stepping up.

Argh, busy workweek keeping me busy. Seriously folks, I appreciate all the comments, even if I'm a sloth in getting the next chapter up.

>>10953681095368

No worries Emerald, I enjoy critique as much as compliment. Without them I could revise and revise as many times as I liked but would still miss things for lack of other folks perspectives.

That said I do seem to have written myself into something of a corner with the timing for this story. My take on things for the moment is that Trixie's fame may not have had time to build to legendary status as a tale told to young foals growing up and such, but its so recent that she's also still essentially the toast of the town. What she did in Oaten the first time has left such a impression on the ponies there that in the year since they haven't really had anything else more noteworthy to talk about or celebrate. From their perspective the right hoof of their immortal goddess/ruler came to their humble village and saved them from poverty and starvation. A song or two about her isn't out of the question with a year's time for the ponies to spend celebrating the affair. As for why Bushel specifically doesn't seem to know Trixie save by the stories she'd been told...well that'll be explained in the next chapter. Hopefully it'll make as much sense to you guys as it does to me in my head.

About spells, I've always thought that both invisibility and inaudibility were among the oldest spells in Trixie's repertoire.  Plus with dogs there would still remain the issue of masking scent, not to mention tricking the magic detecting wards.

About sleeping schedules, Trixie has been Luna protégée since she earned her cutie mark, so she should have had years to adjust her sleeping habits.

Hmm, I probably missed or otherwise forgot where it mentioned Trixie learning those two. I figured invisibility had to be one of her oldest, yes but for some reason I have it in my head that the inaudibility portion was a more recent trick she'd added...can't remember where I got that impression from though. I should probably add a bit about her working on scent and wards though, especially since this ties into something in a later chapter anyway.

And yeah, the sleeping schedule's a good example of how information can fall out of my head as easily as it goes in. Easily fixable as it just means reversing the time of day Trixie goes to Oaten from being evening and close to night to being morning, where if she had a nocturnal sleeping schedule her internal clock would be telling her to go to bed.

Oh, and I'm a bit curious if we'll see anything of what Cheerilee asks Bushel overnight or just skip straight to morning.  Mostly because I have some very specific ideas of what I think Cheerilee's home should be like.  Way back in some brainstorming thread or another it was discussed what kinds of pets the L6 might have, and one of the ideas I REALLY liked is that Cheerilee is something like a crazy cat lady, only with fish.  Bowls and tanks all over the place and every fish having its own name.

Even if I do skip to morning I love the idea of Cheerilee being the owner of a disturbingly copious number of pet fish and with your permission would make use of that.

>>11003311100331

Let's just say that things are a fair bit more complicated in Oaten than anypony involved realizes.

Trixie's pet is Snuffles, the invisible astral honey badger.

A well known cousin to the miniature giant space hamster.

>>11212721121272

That bolded bit seems unnecessary, especially with the preceding doing essentially the same thing.

Hm, point. Will consider for revising.

"Thanks...I think" usually comes after something that was hard for that person to determine was a compliment of insult. I'm not really seeing it from what Ditzy said.

The may have shown up there due to Trixie not being entirely sure if Ditzy was suggesting Trixie should avoid drinking or not and that having one Trixie around is preferable to two. ...I think. Some revision may be in order.

Aren't basilisks more known for killing people, not turning them to stone?

Not sure from other sources but since a lot of the Lunaverse has minor reference to DnD style things I'm going off the basilisk from that system, where it has a gaze that can turn creatures to stone.

>>11318341131834

Given the wonderfully narrative you seem to be spinning her, as with the previous chapter before, I'm quite willing to defer to your judgment on the matter of the time-line and such.  My biggest concern is that you be aware of potential issues rather than miss them because no bother pointing them out.

On the spell front, she's more or less been described as being able to cast self-invisibility/inaudibility and weave both together near effortlessly.  They are basically her signature spell combo, such as it where.

Even if I do skip to morning I love the idea of Cheerilee being the owner of a disturbingly copious number of pet fish and with your permission would make use of that.

Of course, of course.  Please, by all means.  I wouldn't have brought it up otherwise.  Even if you do skip it.  Which might be best for flow and pacing, plus I think there might be better stories to do the full reveal, such as it were in.  You're the author here though, so your call.

My ersonal suggestion, for what it's worth, would be to start the next chapter by skipping straight to them boarding the train (or maybe even arriving in Oaton).   Bushel could of course mention something about how much fun it was to see all of Miss Cheerilee's different kinds of fish, with the school teacher somewhat embarrassingly trying to get her to just drop the subject ("Oh, there weren't that many dear, now don't go boring everypony")

Errors I found:

“Is that so? Our operation is supported by very important ponies from Canterlot. Do you think, even if you did fight us, that there would be no repercussion from the law? We have ever legal right to be here.”

The word 'ever' should be 'every'.

Will edit with any more I spot.

>>11318341131834 The Lunaverse has had Dnd references?

That said I do seem to have written myself into something of a corner with the timing for this story. My take on things for the moment is that Trixie's fame may not have had time to build to legendary status as a tale told to young foals growing up and such, but its so recent that she's also still essentially the toast of the town.

I can get behind this.

>>11332721133272

"Helping...Hands?" mentions eight schools of magic and explicitly named illusion, conjuration, and transmutation as three of them; these are three of the eight school fo magic in D&D (and to further drive the point home, Lyra even remarks on one of Trixie's illusions that it's "specifcially a figment," a specific kind of illusion in D&D).

There's been other references here and there as well. They say to write what you know, and I know 3rd Edition D&D, so...

Incredibly well done. Inebriated Trixie is entire A-team.

"Trust me", she says. You just know that Raindrops is thinking "I've got a bad feeling about this."

“Trixie, can I talk to you for a second, over there, behind that house, where nopony can see or hear us?”

"I see no potentially negative consequences to this action!"

Poor Raindrops, having to deal with Trixie on a weekly basis for our own personal amusement...

Pokey & Door is best ship.

I don't know how I feel about all the dead fish..........

Though I absolutely love the villagers assessment of Cheerilee(and deep down, I really do think she could kill somepony 5 times in ten seconds flat)

First off, how dare you post this while I'm still trying to focus all my efforts on PAST SINS!  I mean what kind of fool posts anything while a fic like that is still in the feature box?

Second off, I am in love with this chapter.  You worked the fish angle perfectly, setting up the possibility for it to be awkward, but leaving just how much so to future interpretation (Well, that is depending on how long it would take someone as knowledgeable Cheerilee to run out of names, though could also se her just being systematic enough that she only uses each letter of the alphabet once in her naming conventions).  I also like how you let her slip into instructor mode as I've always loved that take on her.  The parts with Pokey were just priceless; I can't decide if I like his obliviousness to cheerilee hints or assault on the door more.  I'm a little iffy about the enchanted items coming off too tecky, but I'll reserve judgment for now.

>>11926451192645

Agreed, I also took a similar interpretation to her highly effective strangle hold on Pokey.  I bet that if she weren't concerned about hurting him she could have easily extricated him from the door as well.  I rather hope we might maybe get a chance in this fic to see some of why she's on the top of Raindrops' short list of ponies never to make angry.

>>11925401192540

Sounds like a plan to me.  Someone get on that right away.

Remains a fun and enjoyable story. The Lulamoon seemingly being a complete magical prodigy, genius, and skilled at almost all magical and physical challenges is a bit over the top though... But still very fun story to read. Looking forward to the next.

I'm proud of Raindrops.  Not a single drop of Trixie blood spilled!

“So, who here has ever played Apples to Apples?”

I have and its a great game, I wonder if it was made up by the apple trust in the Lunaverse?

Trixie should really think about getting Pokey some kind of key or something.

Also, let's make up secret identities for the other three! Ditzy Doo's family owns Equestria's three largest cloud mines, and she's placed her vast personal fortune at Trixie's disposal!

Another excellent chapter!

The entire Pokey Door scene was hilarious particularly Bushel's "Believe in me who believes in you bit!"

And Trixie having a spell to "call" pokey that's just plain awesome idea.

I have to say I am really looking forward to seeing what you do with the enchanted items, stuff like that should get more attention anyway.

“Trixie, can I talk to you for a second, over there, behind that house, where nopony can see or hear us?”

hahahaha my brain has gone to shipping and no one can stop it!

hmmm is the mayor in on the scheme blackmail or maybe the entire thing actually has a good reason and he's t proud to admit it and whta's going to happen with the Basalisk!

Looking forward dot the next chapter.

>>11936651193665

I'm thinking there is more to Lulamoon's seeming competence than meets the eye, or less depending on how you choose to look at it.  Either way, I don't think we can take any of Townsfolk's claims at face value.

>>11953091195309 Lyra could easily be a master assassin, I think. She's the best there is, and sure as hay not the most well-known. She does her job quickly and cleanly, and slips moments later into her assumed role as a musician.

Only Carrot Top is left.

Let it slide, Raindrops...

A great chapter. I found it rather funny the towns ponies jumping to their conclusions with Cheerilee and Raindrops. So this is how legends start!

“... Yes, Trixie will show her friends so much friendship today they won’t even know what hit them! Ponyville, neigh, the world shall bow before my friendliness! And there is nothing to stand in my way!”

The natural talent and nature of a performer combined with a growing love of the magic acts she’d been putting on for the locals of Ponyville had brought out something of a dramatic streak in Trixie, one that got away from her at times. She was posing on her hind legs with her forelegs spread out around her as if she were imagining the world in her megalomaniacal hooves. Or something like that.

I love these lunaverse stories!

Trixie and Jayne would make an awesome team!

(now back to reading! )

Read all three chapters in a sitting, and I have to say I absolutely love the way this is going. I'll admit I'm not entirely sure what the point of Pokey getting stuck in the door was, but it's quite funny regardless; it's good to see a bit more of him. I'm getting more and more intruiged as to what's going on in Oaton, and what exactly Trixie did during her last time there; guess I'll just have to find out, eh? Also, seeing more of pre-LNLD Trixie is quite interesting as well.

...I sang the 'Tipsy Trixie' song out loud when I read it.

>>11961261196126

hahahaha my brain has gone to shipping and no one can stop it!

This.

ah fuck.

Somehow, I'm not shocked by this revelation.    But I'm extremely keen to find out what happened, and if Trixie and pals can sort it out.

Hmmm, I'm liking the dynamic of the Trixie-Cherilee-Raindrops team and the different views through the eyes of a couple of other ponies.  Perspective is fun!

Nice artifice with the truth spell too.

the stoic blue avenger who stands goddess-like upon the shoulders of humility,

Humility?

"It says so right here on my character sheet: Humility +1,000,000! I'm a million times more humble than you! I am justifiably proud of my humility!"

Trixie? Don't ever change.

oh buck me into the sun,

This is one of my new favorite explatives.

and some of them their lives by burning down the entire camp.

Yikes! Um...okay, this might get dark, apparently. Huh.

“One year ago, a unicorn named Trixie Lulamoon came to my village. She got stupidly drunk, admittedly at my invitation, and after hearing about my town’s plight declared herself the hero that would save us. As far as any of my ponies know that’s exactly what she did, and I’m the one who made sure that’s what they’d think. What the truth is, Trixie Lulamoon, isn’t that you saved Oaton. The truth is that you nearly destroyed it.”

Oh...oh. Hmm. That's going to be a blow to Trixie. She'd been riding high on this idea that she saved a town this whole time, only to learn that it's all a lie? Worst of all, she knows that she's a liar almost by profession, so she'll probably get depressed that she's feeling depressed...

Wow. She sure does a lot of crazy stuff when she gets herself plastered. The Ice Palace was one thing but this whole destructive saviour bit is just nuts.

I really enjoyed this chapter.  As always, the sheer flair with which you breathe life into the characters is a joy unto itself, and of course I'm more intrigued than ever to find out just what happened the last time Trixie was in town.

That said, I'm a wee bit uncomfortable with the thought peering glasses.  Even if the spells involved in making them are rare and restricted, the fact Trixie could enchant them in only a single night makes them seem a bit OP.    The kind of thing that would be far too useful for investigations and make it very difficult for high profile ponies (like some of our Night Court antagonists) to actually get away with some of the things they do.  Granted that they only show surface level thoughts, and only as images which are subject to interpretation, might make them something that a trained liar could work around, but they still feel like an all to obvious EASY MODE, that could come back to bite future stories involving any kind of deception.

A couple other things of note...

Next to her Bootheel, who had her beat in the height department by a good hoof and a half,

We've seen ponies on the show refer to measurements in feet (the eight foot tall candycane on Hearth's Warming Eve).  Using imaginary measurements just makes it difficult to visualize.  I'm not entirely opposed to doing so, but I think it needs to be somewhat clarified what the size being referenced is.  By my best estimates based on character scale from the show, an average pony hoof probably measures about 8 inches across (which is actually rather conveniently half way between a Foot and a Hand).  That would make Bootheel 12 inches taller than Cut'n'Dry; seem about right to you?

One, the cold had a green coat that matched mayor Sheaf’s,

I think you meant "colt".

The family resemblance between the mare and Bushel were unmistakable as the mare shared an identical bright sunny yellow coat and light blue mane, even the same wide expressive brown eyes.  Bushel’s mother looked identical to her daughter save that she had her cutie mark; what appeared to be…Raindrops blinked…was that a camera?

Yellow coat, blue mane, and a camera cutie mark?  Other than being an earth pony, Bushel's mother feels like a bit of a dead ringer for Raindrop's own.  Oh, and just a reminder, this is the Lunaverse, so comparing anyone's coloration as "sunny" would not be very flattering.

...WOW Plot Twist!

Great chapter overall this was totally worth waiting for, I'm not quite sure how much I like the idea of an enchanted item that can essentially read minds, emotions sure, but minds is a far more tricky matter, still your fic and you've done a good job of it not being OP, though I'm sitll uncomfortable with them, due to their existence having wide implications.

Though you know Raindrops in glasses is just awesome.

Also can we get more ship tease between Raindrops and Cut n’ Dry, please

Seriously though i really do like her as a character and hope we get to see a bit more of her, plus her whole "the pegasus is the hottest" was hilarious

And Drunk Trixie hitting on the mayors wife

You have an excellent grasp of all these characters, and I especially liked Trixie's motive for keeping the truth form the villagers.

>>14552311455231

plus her whole "the pegasus is the hottest" was hilarious

True that.

What I really liked though is that Cut'n'Dry only ever specified being attracted to pegasi, and not specifically mares.  It's an interesting idea to conceive that her interests might be dictated more by a set of wings than what the pony's got between there legs.  Really though I just appreciate that it continues the notion that gender just isn't all that big an issue in Equestria.  She's a mare, she finds another mare physically appealing, but not one fuss or big deal is ever made of it.

>>14552941455294

That's a very interesting point there, and one that makes sense with a species that has different "breeds" within itself, in fact the idea of being specifically attracted to a "tribe" rather than a gender is an interesting one in itself.

Plus yeah I also liked how it shows gender and sexuality aren't huge deals in Equestria.

Drunk Trixie is best Trixie.

>>14551611455161

8 inches? Assuming that Twilight, etc., are roughly the size of the G1 ponies next to humans, this makes pony hooves...very wide.

|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

Be roughly this wide, I think

>>14559071455907

I'm aware of that issue.  I did also look up real life charts for sizing Horseshoes, and you're right that it's VERY wide (like full size draft horse wide), but that's what the animation indicates.

MLPs have distinctly odd proportions compared to our real life equivalents, shorter bodytrunk, fatter legs, hardly any muzzle, and those freakishly huge eyes.  I was basing my measurements off vectors and the fan assumption that they stand somewhere around four feet tall (including the head erect, even though that's not how one should properly measure an equine's height).

Well, you could also use the "apple" measurement. Assuming an apple from Sweet Apple Acres is about 4 inches across, and getting "known" pony guidelines, Princess Celestia/Corona is about 14-2 hands, or 4'10" at the withers. Conveniently being the maximum height a RL equine can be and still be considered a "pony."

>>14559071455907>>14569481456948

It's possible my earlier estimates ~might~ be off a little, so I'll do the math again.  However, I don't put much stock in the apples as a scaling device, seeing as they come in a fairly wide variety of sizes.  For round two I'll use screen caps from the show, starting with the candy cane from Hearth's Warming Eve (which according to Twilight is 8 feet tall).

Now, assuming she was accurate in gauging the cane's height, I matched Scoots' size to Sweetie Belle in a shot with Rarity to get the fashionista's hoof size as about *6.43* inches.  Well, seems I over estimated previously, except that's a mare's hoof size, what about stallions.

Matching Rarity with a screen shot of AJ next to BigMac, I got his hoof size as a hefty *10.71* inches, but he's a rather big fellow; what about a more typical stallion, like say Braeburn (who is the pony I based my orginal math on anyway).  Size matched another shot of AJ with her cousin and got *7.25* inches.

Averaged out, those three measurements come to about *8.13* inches, or just a bit over my original value.  I suppose it might seem unfair to straight average a pony of BigMac's exceptional stature into the math, but considering that some of the most prestigiously upper class ponies (such as Blueblood and Fancy Pants) seem to be closer in size to BigMac than Braeburn I'd say it might well be fair to say that any official Equestrian measurement known as the hoof could be a value of about 8 inches (which also as previously stated is a nice convenient halfway point between foot and hand).

(Oh, and while we're here I measured the M6's height as 27.4 inches at the withers, Braeburn at 30.7, BigMac at 35.3, and Celestia at 51.1).

So Trixie is The Tick? And was Cheerilee playing Apples to Apples with the villagers??

This was just a fantastic chapter! The shift in perspectives was brilliant and smooth. This is a really great story, and I really want to see where it goes. Dang that reveal and cliffhanger!

Also I hope you keep writing for the Lunaverse, more stories from you would ROCK!

>>14535211453521

Indeed.

>>14535251453525

Glad you liked the perspective change. Wasn't sure if people would dig having the focus shift for a bit from Trixie and co. but I did want to start introducing the ponies on the other side of the coin from their own point of view.

>>14538651453865

Yikes! Um...okay, this might get dark, apparently. Huh.

Hm, I should probably clarify that line a bit. The implication of the line is that the fire nearly got ponies killed, but didn't. Still dark-ish, yes, and I'll admit this story is going to have a few turns like that. Just let me know if it starts stepping into territory you'd prefer a Lunaverse fic doesn't.

>>14547201454720

In my mind a Trixie minus common sense or inhibition is a frightening thing. Or a sexy thing. Perhaps both. No...definitely both.

>>14551611455161

That said, I'm a wee bit uncomfortable with the thought peering glasses.  Even if the spells involved in making them are rare and restricted, the fact Trixie could enchant them in only a single night makes them seem a bit OP.    The kind of thing that would be far too useful for investigations and make it very difficult for high profile ponies (like some of our Night Court antagonists) to actually get away with some of the things they do.  Granted that they only show surface level thoughts, and only as images which are subject to interpretation, might make them something that a trained liar could work around, but they still feel like an all to obvious EASY MODE, that could come back to bite future stories involving any kind of deception.

Yeah I was hesitant at first concerning the nature of the enchantment of the glasses. I tried to give it enough drawbacks that it wouldn't make things too easy for Trixie and co. My current head-cannon take on the enchantment is that there are few in the Night Court or in any law enforcing agency who would make use of it due to it having a notoriously bad reputation for inaccuracy, combined with the fact that there is probably a law in place preventing any direct testimony resulting from the enchantment's use from being admissible in court (might even be illegal to use such an enchantment, hadn't decided if that'd be the case or not). Basically because the enchantment only shows surface thoughts and only then as abstract images that are up for interpretation, most don't consider it worth the effort to try using the spell in professional investigations. After all, the mind is a thing heavily open to suggestion, so all you'd have to do is go up to someone and say "hey did you rob pony A?" and even if the pony being asked didn't commit the crime their mind might suddenly think about it, unbidden, and hence generate images that could seem incriminating even though the pony in question didn't do anything. So my head-canon says few professional investigators or Night Court noble's would use the enchantment for fear of chasing red herrings or misreading the actual meaning of an image. Some private investigators or more ambitious nobles might still try using the enchantment though, willing to take the risk of misinterpretation for the benefit of still being able to literally see what's on a pony's mind. Trixie pretty much fits into that category; thinking herself more than smart enough to suss out some clues from abstract mental images.

We've seen ponies on the show refer to measurements in feet (the eight foot tall candycane on Hearth's Warming Eve).  Using imaginary measurements just makes it difficult to visualize.  I'm not entirely opposed to doing so, but I think it needs to be somewhat clarified what the size being referenced is.  By my best estimates based on character scale from the show, an average pony hoof probably measures about 8 inches across (which is actually rather conveniently half way between a Foot and a Hand).  That would make Bootheel 12 inches taller than Cut'n'Dry; seem about right to you?

*looks at following discussion concerning pony hoof measurements...stares blankly at screen*

Eeyup.

I think you meant "colt".

Ker-fixed.

Yellow coat, blue mane, and a camera cutie mark?  Other than being an earth pony, Bushel's mother feels like a bit of a dead ringer for Raindrop's own.  Oh, and just a reminder, this is the Lunaverse, so comparing anyone's coloration as "sunny" would not be very flattering.

Pure coincidence, but I figure coincidences like that might be pretty common in Equestria, given there are only so many hue/cutiemark combinations available to spread around a populace of hundreds of thousands of ponies. Hm, didn't even think about the 'sunny' thing, though Raindrops wasn't saying it out loud, was just thinking it...and honestly there aren't many other terms to describe Picturesque's particularly bright shade of yellow...which is now making me think about whether or not she'd have received any heckling due to her coat hue, which in turn adds a new shade to her background story in my head...

>>14552311455231

Oh don't worry you'll be seeing more of Cut n' Dry. As will Raindrops. I'll leave it at that for now.

>>14555741455574

>>14616241461624

Yes! Someone got the reference! If there ever was to be some weird AU fic of the Lunaverse where everypony is a superhero, I would so see Trixie as something akin to The Tick.

And yes, Cheerilee was playing Apples to Apples with the citizens of Oaton. Seems to be a game that'd be right up her alley.

I certainly got other story ideas in mind for the Lunaverse and plan to get to them in time, but figure I need to focus on getting this one done first. If I start up too many others I'll get so side-tracked I'd fear I'd never finish one of them. Besides a lot of my other story ideas feel to me like they'd fit more in Season 2, so I'm kinda waiting to see how the finale of Season 1 will pan out.

>>14637291463729

Ah! Okay. Close is fine.

I'm not opposed to death in any fic, but if ponies are going to die, I'd prefer it to be meaningful, rather than a kind of off-the-cuff commentary. This is not a universe with redshirts, basically.

Now, a sort of Putty Patrol, that I'm fine with dropping left-right-and-center, since they aren't really alive in the first place.

>>14547201454720

Technically we don't know whether or not Trixie was drunk during the Ice Palace thing. We just know that she doesn't clearly know what happened, but that can happen without alcohol.

This is a wonderful story, with a wonderful twist.

Something about this chapter just seems off  (And it isn't the glasses.  Get rid of them, they open up way to many questions)

soaking the attention like a sponge that was in turn made of many smaller, very smug sponges

“Trouble; with a capital T.”

And that rhymes with C, and that stands for Cider!

Wait, wrong episode. Never mind.

Okay, I know Trixie's not the... 'best' pony before LNLD, but that last line just does not sit well with me. She gets the butt monkey treatment way too much from where I sit. Is she perfect, no. But like canon she's getting a lot of horse apples thrown at her I don't think she deserves.

Overall I like the chapter, but I think Trixie's getting the proverbial shaft too much. My two jangles, at any rate.

>>14653581465358

I figure that if the glasses cause too much trouble for the universe canon then RDD'll let me know. I think the questions they raise might be ones worth answering anyway, like how the legality of such an item would be viewed by the Equestrian justice system, both in their use and creation.

>>14826071482607

*scratches back of head* Eeheheh, sorry, I do like Trixie quite a bit, don't get me wrong, but she's got a rough road ahead of her in this story. Without trying to give away too much I can say she'll have her high points to counterbalance the lows, but she's still got to get through the lows first.

>>14826071482607

She gets the butt monkey treatment way too much from where I sit. Is she perfect, no. But like canon she's getting a lot of horse apples thrown at her I don't think she deserves.

Overall I like the chapter, but I think Trixie's getting the proverbial shaft too much. My two jangles, at any rate.

I agree, seems like everyone takes a shot at her. Look how BonBon treated/treats her.

I'm sure thatguyvex will have Trixie come out on top, given she's Nights Justice! and all.

But like I said, seems even in the Lunaverse she gets crapped on a lot.

As an aside, I still re-read the song and

Oh man that part with Pokey was brillant

And yay for Trixie continuing the fine tradition of singing in the shower

I really liked this chapter. There was good set up and it is nice to see that Trixie is taking this seriously.

As M. Night Shalmalan would say.

"What a twist!"

Though if I'm honest I would say that this does make sense, when even the songs of your heriocs involve intoxication and fire, you know that it wasn't all sunshine and lolly pops.

I'm liking where you're going with the story. I see the potential both in terms of story telling and in terms of the character arc for Trixie.I also like how you have time to add in fun things like Cut n’ Dry's crush on Raindrops with Glasses.

The glasses them selves are fine so long as it's doesn't become a deus ex machina for figuring stuff out. I like having potential spells and magic explored so long as there is a reason for why certain spells aren't common practice. Mind peeping (my name for what the glasses do) I see as something that is unreliable, on the fence of what is considered ethical and perhapes it can be blocked if the pony know's their mind is being peeped.

But that's just my two bits. I'm interested to see what happens next.

OH SNAP!!!

On a related note Cheerilee is most defiantly the party Rouge.

HA! Cheerilee is awesome.

Hahaha Cheerilee is great! Well done! I hope this added depth will make her easier for RDD to write

That Sawdust guy is very very suspicious o.o unless he recognized the enchantment and has a counter in his hat? Love the gizmos!

Also, Bushel is TOTALLY a unicorn with an ungrown horn! No other possibility there.

One teensy tiny detail: there is no need to stack the logs onto rafts. They're cutting down coniferous trees, which are perfect for log driving down the river. It would be perfectly in synch with the tech level of the Lunaverse.

>>15528471552847

Yes. Yes she is.

Curiouser and curiouser. Every time they try to get answers, they just get left with more questions.

Also, the reminder that Cheerilee has a certain difficulty reading ponies also makes her easier to write for. Probably most of why M!Cheerilee gets along so well with the Mane Six is that they make it so obvious who they are.

(Note to self: Assume that M!Trixie is blasted half the time.)

I loved this chapter all of it, completely and that's saying allot!

well sans the glasses, still they are so far impractical enough that I don't entirely mind their existence.

I like the little communicator ear pieces and they match up with that draw/yelling enchantment.

Sort of saw Trixie creating something for her friends to make them invisible, cool stuff.

Loved Trixie's interaction with Bushel, so cute

hmm Interesting news I wonder what the issue with Bushel is?

and then then there's the whole matter of the fire, I have quite a few ideas as to what's been going on there

Looking forward to seeing how the Basalik play's into this.

Cheerilee is a freaking ninja super spy, somehow I don't mind this

Cut n’ Dry, oh how I love her existence, and I'm glad she's back and with Raindrops around to going to be fun in, Interesting new guy wonder what he's scheming.

Also I really liked the Raindrops Trixie pieces both references to them exercising together and Raindrops being really concerned about Trixie and doing a little to comfort her very nice little details that work so well.

Also I loved Cheerilee's temper flare at how they are being targeted and was even willing to out right call Luna and the Court on it quite bad-ass if I do say so myself, and I have a top hat to prove it! which you may have

Can't remember right now but I'm fairly certain Cheerilee was target in the fic Symphony with a mind controlling romancing guy, though if this takes place before then, just ignore me

Fun chapter looking forward to seeing what you come out with next!

“Long time no see, Shiny. How have you been?”

Cheerilee is the best spy. And Windowpane is the best recurring extra.

>>15539351553935

SHE'S A TRUE HYBRID LIKE ALULA! AN EARTHICORN!

Earthicorn? I dunno what to call a true hybrid between those two tribes...but I'll be she's totally an earthicorn!

Only, yeah, no horn, good point...still, I'll bet that's part of what's causing problems.

>>15552071555207 Now I'm wondering if she went all Carrie on the lumber camp somehow o.o

I love how believable Trixie is in these.

>>15528471552847>>15539811553981

And much like any typical party rouge the first thing she does on a scouting mission is go off plan.

>>15542861554286

Indeed, though the answers are coming. Soon. Well, soon-ish.

>>15539351553935

Hm, good point with the logs, though without giving anything away next chapter there is a specific reason they got the rafts.

>>15550101555010

Also I loved Cheerilee's temper flare at how they are being targeted and was even willing to out right call Luna and the Court on it quite bad-ass if I do say so myself, and I have a top hat to prove it! which you may have

Can't remember right now but I'm fairly certain Cheerilee was target in the fic Symphony with a mind controlling romancing guy, though if this takes place before then, just ignore me

Ah, good reminder there, thanks! I wasn't sure if I'd missed anypony in the L6 that had been targeted...now that I'm thinking about it Ditzy also had a episode where she was targeted. I'll make the proper adjustments.

>>15550181555018

Now all Cheerilee needs are Pinkie Pie's spy suit and goggles.

>>15552071555207

Ah, MLP genetics, you're so whacky.

>>15552931555293

Thanks, trying my best to keep the characters as 'in character' as I can.

>>15576811557681

Ah, good reminder there, thanks! I wasn't sure if I'd missed anypony in the L6 that had been targeted...now that I'm thinking about it Ditzy also had a episode where she was targeted. I'll make the proper adjustments.

Don't worry to much I just went and checked and If I'm right Cheerilee wasn't targeted until after Oaton, sorry for the confusion, oh and good point on Ditsy.

Good read all around; still not much happening yet, but the setup just keeps buildings (especially with Cheerilee apparently being old friends with Shiny; 'dis is gonna be good).

>>15539351553935

Also, Bushel is TOTALLY a unicorn with an ungrown horn! No other possibility there.

That's kind of my suspicion as well, except I'm not sure how it plays out.  Headaches might suggest too much magic build up that she has no way to expel, but Lulamoon's line about feeding her feels more like the trouble would have been over-channeling somehow.  Then there's the whole bit with both incidents happening roughly concurrent with the lumber guild's activities.  Going to be intrigued to find out just what is really going on there.

>>15708651570865

Could Bushel have an extremely strong connection with the general area and is therefore being injured by their lumberjacking or is she actually like some sort of forest spirit... thingy, lot's of myths have such entities being raising amongst humans, such as if I recall trolls if I recall, or in some cases dying masquerading as kids like Changelings.

>>15718611571861

Could be I suppose; her name does kind of stick out as compared to her siblings.

Bushel, Milkdrop, Breadcrumb: one of these things is not like the other.

Well....that's unexpected. I figured Cheer went for dating the oddballs. This could be very good very fast.

I tend to pick up on weird little things sometimes, and in this case, it was when Trixie complained about not getting a gold star from Cheerilee. Wouldn't silver be preferable in the Lunaverse?

>>15842431584243

Good point. Devils always in the details ain't it?

Happens to the best of us. Loving the story.

Not... bad. That story is suspicious to me, though. Very suspicious. Cheerilee is right in that Luna needs a good talking to about how the Elements have been left with pretty much no protection. And maybe a slap to the head with an iron gauntlet.

Also, Bushel... what's up with her? She better not die![/dead_serious] Still hoping Trixie isn't bucked over by the end.

I bet Bushel had a spell on her.  I mean if you want to keep the mayor from investigating things to close make his kid sick as a distraction

Calling it now, Sawdust is a robot.

Or perhaps a golem.

Finally caught up.

Holy Flying Feathers.

This is definitely going to be good; I love the build-up, the characterization, the interactions, the everything.

And the whole bit with Raindrops and Cut is amusing! (Trixiedrops still better [/shipper] )

for

inspiration and

recognition of

story

telling