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What started as a pleasant day out at sea to collect an ancient treasure from their Seapony friends, ends in a fierce battle on the high seas for Trixie and co when a band of vicious pirates attack.

When Raindrops, Dinky and Pip are taken captive, and the treasure is stolen, Trixie, Lyra and Cheerilee will stop at nothing to track down the ruthless thieves and get their friends back

Set in the Lunaverse

First Published
1st Sep 2013
Last Modified
27th Apr 2014

One relatively small, but recurring problem. After quotation marks, you should be using a punctuation mark of some kind, just about every time. Usually it'll end up being a comma.

So, it's not:

“Wow, she’s certainly excited to play with the Seaponies again” the magenta mare beamed

But rather,

“Wow, she’s certainly excited to play with the Seaponies again,” the magenta mare beamed

Oh, also, this stood out:

The Unicorn was certainly an opposing figure.

I think you meant "imposing."

And...

with that, the Unicorn gave a clap of his hooves and a dozen more pirates seemed to rise up upon the enemy ship.

On this note, where's the rest of the crew of Autumn Delight? So far we've only seen the captain.

>>3141158

Ah, fair point, I hadn't noticed that. Thanks, I'll update it now

>>3141158

I'll fix the 'imposing'

As for the Autumn's Delight, this was the ship used in 'Secret of Andalantis' by Fizzy and from what I read, he was the only crew member. It was just a tour boat, though I suspect it would need to be large enough to take several ponies out for some diving. I'll check with Fizzy to be sure though. If I'm mistaken I'll certainly correct it and include information on a crew

Edit: I just sent Fizzy a message so I'll see what he says. Either way though, I will make some revisions when I get back from work tonight. Make it a bit clearer how large the boat is and how large its crew is. I think I skipped that detail a bit in favour of the fight, but I should have been more careful. Sorry about that

>>3141158

I've made a few revisions and tried to accurately show how large the pirate vessel (still coming up with a name, though Fizzy had some good suggestions) is in comparison to the Autumn. Also, from Fizzy's description, the Autumn is a tour boat that is operated solely by Captain Sunset. It is large enough to take groups of ponies (probably like 15 to 20 if absolutely pushed) out to see, and he is able to operate the vessel alone due to a series of cables and switches that take place of where extra crew members would be needed.

I hope you like it a little better this time

Oh wow! Flipping awesome!!

It has pirates, multiple species, Dinky and Pip. Kiss me, I love it!

I do like the range of species on the pirate ship, particularly the Tapirs.

Looks like a good action adventure story so far.

I don't know if this will get Pip more or less interested in Pirates come the end.

>>3145148

Thanks man, glad you like it. Pip and Dinky are both going to have a significant role in the story, so be ready for more cute vs pirate action :twilightsmile:

>>3145398

It was RDD's idea to use a more diverse pirate crew, particularly since real pirates tended to be relatively diverse in race. I'm actually really glad for it, because when I first came up with the idea, I only had ponies and one Griffin. Instead I now have a whole cast of different species to work with :twilightsmile:

So, pirate attack, out near Seapony turf, couple of minutes after our heroes finish loading up a royally commissioned treasure schooner with a minimally trained crew? No way that's a coincidence....

Unless it's just to get the story moving, in which case, Pirates! Wooo!

Yarr! Thar be pirates allright... let's see how those crafty mares get out of this one.

Good work Pontiac!

>>3157075

Thanks :twilightsmile:

I'm already about halfway done with the next chapter so I suspect I'll have it ready by the weekend. I intend to make the pirate crews personalities as diverse as their species :moustache:

Yarr, pirates ahoy! Okay, this looks pretty cool. Nice action, there. I wonder how they'll get out of this... :trixieshiftleft:

>>3277640

Thanks. I've currently stopped writing the next chapter so I can focus on the Nightmare Night event, but hopefully you'll like what comes next when I can finish it :twilightsmile:

This story takes place during season 2 of the Lunaverse right? Then why isn't it on the episode list for season two yet, I mean it's in the season 2 stories folder so shouldn't it be listed on the episode list?

>>3389636

Because... actually I'm not sure. I think RDD may have just forgot. Though to be fair, it only has one chapter so far. Once I have some more updates I'll remind him about it. Either way, it's not a big deal :twilightsmile:

>>3389653 Oh okay. Good to see that it's going to be dealt with then :yay:

Not even reading it yet (since Tambelon's not done yet) and yet I think this fits somehow.

>>3733811 I don't really know the Zelda series very well, but I was actually trying to go for a Pirates of the Caribbean feel. When I actually get around to uploading a new chapter it might be a bit more clear

Pirates, this is this bad, I wonder if the Unicorn captain is based off of Pirates of the Carribean Blackbeard? What with the magic sword cutie mark, or ti could mean he's just good at magical sword dueling.

>>4172107 You'll get to see later, when I finally get around to updating the thing

Seawing is an ass. Plain and simple. Sadistic pirates. I half exxpected Trixie to let loose a curse in Prench.

>>4298745 Whose saying she won't :trollestia:

Ships like that are only pray to the Arabus

Prey.

>>4298997 Damn I didn't notice that. Thanks, I'll take of it :twilightsheepish:

>>4299045

No problem:twilightsmile:.

Also, that's some great cover art.

How quickly do you think the pirates are going to regret taking those three on board?

>>4337552 About 2 more chapters :trollestia:

Quite nice. Is it good or bad I'm hoping those pirates, with the exception of Rusty, suffer painful deaths? Or at the very least Luna makes sure they have nightmares for the rest of their lives?

>>4359765 Well no, but I don't intend to delve deeply into their crimes, just hint at them. Don't worry though, they'll get what's coming to them :raritywink:

Have you ever heard of The Albinocorn?

>>5032329 Indeed I have, a very talented author. I quite love his Sunset Shimmer stories :twilightsmile:

>>5032437 And how do you feel about how he writes Rainbow Dash?

>>5032730 Very well in character actually. Fierce and Loyal but with a hidden caring side that everyone sees despite how much she tries to hide it. I like how well he gets her too, because for me, Rainbow Dash is best pony :rainbowkiss:. He's very good at getting his characters written as true to the source material as possible (there are some exceptions like his take on Sunset Shimmer, but this is usually different for a reason ie: a different Sunset from the future in one story).

Odd question to ask though, any particular reason you wanted to know or just curious?

>>5032812 Well when I heard you say you like how Rainbow is written in Tales of the Oppressed, (witch I wholeheartedly agree with, by the way) it made me want to see how you thought The Albinocorn wrote her.

>>5034467 Fair enough then. There are some slight differences in the Rainbow from each author, but this is more due to the story itself and the circumstances that each Rainbow finds themselves. Overall, I believe both authors portray a very good Rainbow Dash showing the correct levels of Bravery, Brashness, Loyalty, and all the other aspects that make up Rainbow Dash.

Another excellent Rainbow Dash author I would recommend is Trinary. He has written some very good stories about Rainbow Dash which give a good focus on her character as well as providing some very interesting and awesome scenarios. Certainly worth a look for any Rainbow Dash fan :rainbowkiss:

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