Based on Visiden Visidane's Upheaval series, which begins in Breaking Point, this story is non-canon with that story but written as a fan tribute to the series. I highly recommend checking out the canon series if you're a fan of adventure and military exploits.
Equestria is a peaceful realm, but one that has been kept in the dark about the price of that peace. The Heartland, as it is called, has been protected for generations by the Barrier Lands, a realm outside of Equestria that is occupied by ponies who make up a large army known as the Legion, controlled by the brother of the Princesses, Prince Terrato. This Legion has been fighting an ongoing war for centuries against a host of deadly enemy species that would gladly destroy Equestria if not for the Legion's efforts to keep them at bay.
After a series of events leads Twilight Sparkle and her friends to discover all this, the Barrier Lands and the Heartland are reunited, and the peaceful Equestrians told the truth. However this reunification is not entirely smooth and has with it a terrible price of its own; the draft. Equestrains who have never known a day of violence in their lives must now serve in the Legion, whether they want to or not.
Trixie Lulamoon, Blossomforth, and Coco Pommel are three such ponies, drafted into the Legion and sent to the Western Barrier Lands, where the dangerous bear-like race known as the ursans rule a vast realm of mountains and forest. Though their posting at Beartrap Fortress is meant to be a quiet one, out of the way of the main fighting, these three mares suddenly find themselves stuck in the forefront of an unexpected invasion. Ursans gather in numbers not seen in centuries under the rule of a new warchief, and it seems Beartrap Fortress is directly in the path of this new assault.
To make matters worse it seems there is an even deadlier new threat lurking in the shadows behind this invasion, one that could change the very dynamic of the Legion's struggle to protect Equestria.
Can a single company of raw, inexperienced Equestrian draftees make a difference in such a battle? Its time for the Legionnaires of Equestria to find out what they're made of, one way or another.
Hmm, interesting. I shall look into this when more chapters are out. For now, a like and a fav.
5023488
Shouldn't be long on more chapters. I have two more mostly written but am making some changes based on Visiden's advice, and should get them out gradually over the next week or two.
The short description says "viscous".
I believe you mean "viscious", which has a totally different meaning.
5023740
Hah, those silly ursans, with their sticky consistency. 
Thank you kindly, corrected the error.
Will not lie, you had me at Coco, but I mean come on ,who doesn't love that mare?
Hmm, this is very nicely done actually, I look forward to more.
This story needs more attention, STAT!
I understand it's Needed to protect equestria, but the legionaries are absolute assholes and the way they are going about recruitment and collecting recruits isn't endearing the concept of loyalty to any of these draftees.
Badass coco.
You are now my favorite author.
Good sir, you had my interest.
Now you have my attention.
5041062
This. Plus, I'm typically not a fan of the whole "Equestria has a huge dark secret that undermines everything you see in the show, and the princesses are in on it" genre to begin with. I really like your other stuff, so I'll gives this a try, but the tone of the first chapter makes me think that this one probably won't be for me.
5023845
Coco is certainly lovable. I think its her voice that does it.
5041062
Truth be told I don't necessarily disagree with you. The draft is... well, its not exactly the best idea the Legion's ever had, and they'd probably have had more luck with setting up actual recruitment centers to take volunteers. But in the Legion's defense they're used to far more draconian laws than Equestria is and from their viewpoint they're actually being nice by making it so draftee's only have to serve four years instead of their entire lives and by sending them to supposedly safe postings that aren't supposed to see any action. Key words being "supposed to".
5041179
Thank you. I'd never seen Coco done as a berserk warrior type, so thought I'd see how well she fit the role.
5048933
Happy to hear it.
5050353
Its cool, I understand entirely. Its not normally my cup of tea either, but the stories I'm basing this off of are pretty well written and got my creative juices flowing enough that I wanted to write my own little side story based on it.
I'm really interested in where Coco's sudden anger comes from. Repressed memories perhaps?
And Trixie and Blossomforth are a sweet pair. Hope they get to do that show at the end.
Coco pommel, the berserker.
THIS MUST BECOME A THING!
I really like this, surprisingly. Most fics like this are awful, but this one is really well-written.
Just a quick question: will this have any spoilers from the second upheaval story?
5133444
I don't believe so, this IS a Upheaval Fanfic and the one who wrote this have the same info as the rest of us who religiously read Upheaval until the end.
Still, everything ABOUT this story makes it . . fit to the Upheaval series that I am not surprise that anyone would mistake this as a original Upheaval story rather than a fan fanfic
There is SOME minor mention, but I don't believe there is any major spoilers.
Also, Spiders?
5133444
5133638
Basically, though the question might've been about whether this story would spoil anything in Reckoning. So assuming that's the case, I'll say that for right now I don't intend there to be any real spoilers for Reckoning, so if you haven't gotten to that story yet you should be aright here, spoiler-wise. This story is very much just going to focus on the ponies here in the Western Barrier Lands, and won't touch much on events going on elsewhere. At least not for a good long while.
5133650 okay, good, because I've read most of reckoning, but basically forgot about it for a while, all because I forgot to fave.
Woah, looks like I've got some catching up to do!
I haven't read the story this is based on, and considering what's been described, that isn't going to change, because this is the sort of setting that makes me feel sick.
The sort of story where everything that I love or care about in the source material is just part of a big lie, and things like peace, happiness and friendship are all just a fragile illusion stained with blood in a world where absolutely everything else outside the Heartland is out to kill them. And don't even get me started on the 'warrior culture' of the Legion. It's a necessary survival mechanism, I'm sure, but that sort of mindset on a cultural level just drives me nuts. Especially when it's being imposed on those who haven't lived their lives in a state of soul-crushing despair that this sort of world inspires.
That did make it nice to see Trixie clash with the Legion's values, at least.
5143960
I do kind of understand how you feel, and if I were to go into some of my own thoughts on the Upheaval series when it came time for the critiques it would be aspects of the world's set up that'd get the most scrutiny. But by and large I found it to be a good read, but as always tastes vary a lot between the individual reader and I totally understand why you'd be less than enthused with the set up for the Legion. Even when they're at their best they can still be overbearing jerks, but I try to present something of a balanced view here. Or at least I hope I am. I very much wanted this story to not be about one side being right and the other being wrong so much as both sets of heroines from Equestria and the Barrier Lands to have their own valid views and the story to be about resolving the differences in those views.
In any case I do appreciate you taking the time to read things thus far, even if the setting isn't your particular cup of joe.
Nice chapter. I'm looking forward to seeing how they deal with some action now that they've already gotten some experience with it.
5197807
You're doing a fine job. You're a talented writer, and whatever gripes I have about the setting, your handling of it isn't among them. And this chapter here certainly does reflect the various viewpoints well.
Still on Team Trixie, though, for the time being.
Really enjoyable chapter. That was some nice action. There were a few small errors like a too/to problem and a you're/your mix-up, but nothing that truly lowered the quality of the chapter.
I haven't read Upheaval, but I'm finding this story to be very exciting. I like how all of the ponies are slowly learning to work as a team.
I'll be keeping track of this one for sure.
Really really good chapter. I find it especially interesting to see Coco dealing with that rage.
One thing.
I think you're missing a word or something here. Later it says that Trixie is covered in the web still but here it seems that it followed the Lurker down? Other than this, the small typos didn't disrupt the story that much.
5365306
*nod* Thanks, I'll see about cleaning that sentence up a bit. What I meant there was that the web that was attached to Trixie happened to have enough slack that the line didn't pull her or Blossomforth to the ground. The web was still attached to her and stuck to some of her legs. I'll see about fixing that up so its clearer.
Are you colour blind or just not one of the fussy artsy‐fartsy types? Coco’s coat isn’t off‐white, nor are her mane and tail blue, nor are her eyes pale blue. Off‐white is usually reserved for colours that are less than 1% from pure white, blue isn’t even remotely close to her mane and tail, and pale blue is still far from what her eyes are. Her colours, according to the MLP wiki, are “light amberish gray” (#FAF3DF), “pale, light grayish cyan and light opalish gray” (#9DECED and #CFFDF7), and “light cyan” (#81EAE7) respectively.
Close alternatives (with recognisable names consisting of two words or less) for her coat: citrine white (#FAF7D6), pearl lusta (#FCF4DC), bleach white (#FEF3D8), or beige (#F5F5DC).
Close alternatives (with recognisable names consisting of two words or less) for her mane and tail: I spent the better part of half an hour with three different “name that colour” tools and… you’re shit out of luck here, as I found nothing. Probably just best to go with “pale cyan” here.
Close alternatives (with recognisable names consisting of two words or less) for her eyes: Same story. Probably just best to go with “light cyan” here.
5368987
I'm not certain if I'm color blind or not. Don't think I am, but hey, anything's possible. Mostly I'm just not too particular when it comes to describing colors. I'll keep your suggestions in mind though.
5369124
If you don’t know, odds are you aren’t. It’s rare to get far in life without noticing something off with how colours are described either by or to you, so it’s probably just that you’re not a fusspot.
I stumbled upon this today while we were waiting for a carriage. (I am (or was) at a Christmas event and our ride was late.) Took me about an hour to read in total, though I did so in short 5 minute spurts. Haokyruss is right on what he said, so I won't go over that. However, despite this the chapter was fairly well paced, and finely structured.
That was so interesting! It's terrible of me but as soon as I read Aranea I thought of Homestuck.
I love the little alien touches in the spiders' point of view, like counting things in terms of eight. I never would have thought of that but in retrospect after reading the chapter it makes total sense spider creatures would do that.
I'm glad Coldiron's family lived, and that she lived. I was half-expecting her to kick the bucket towards the middle. My only small criticism is that there are small typos throughout the chapter, nothing another look or set of eyes couldn't catch. It didn't ruin anything for me, though.
You almost made me sympathise with the Aranea. I found myself half‐wishing that the Magic of Friendship™ will convince them to turn over a new leaf. As always, I loved the fight scenes, you really have a knack for writing those.
Noticed a bunch of typos that make me think you’re using a phone or something with predicative text faculties… but the usage of the correct glyphs for various pieces of punctuation seems to say otherwise. Curious.
Corn: typos and other miscellaneous gripes.
Crusta: grammatical errors.
Crimson: homophone substitution and spelling errors.
De York: corrections.
of
if
Lurkers
Lurkers
cleanly
lunge (This was one of the funnier typos; I can just imagine Coldiron considering the Lurker as lunch.)
strain
concentrated
no
severe
role
spinner‐caste
an
wouldn’t spoil
spear—”
not, nor
Haybale (unless you meant that name as a pun)
effects
now
colonies
Really nice character stuff here. Everypony seems to be acclimating, more or less. I especially loved Coco and Coldiron's talk at the conclusion.
One thing that occurs to me the Legion sees cutie marks as pointless but really they should seem to as very useful. A suitably intelligent pony could figure out how to turn almost any cutie mark into a combat asset. Take Allie Way, her talent is bowling, but they need to to sling spells, a smart pony would realize she just might be more successful if she tried to form her spells into orbs. Her skill is holding heavy resin balls in her magic and launching them with accuracy, if her magic took the shape of something she was familiar with it makes sense it would come easier , she could end up acting like a magical cannon, launching balls of magic with high accuracy.
It occurred to me because in Upheaval Rarity initially was helpless, but once she found a mentor in an armor smith he found weapon that turned her into a beast on the battle field. Her attention to detail makes her armor some of the best, and her skills with fine manipulation of multiple objects allowed her to wield 6 katana like swords at once to deadly effect. The Heartlanders seem to be chock full of potential specialists, if their skills are adapted properly. Heck Coco Pommel likely has better dexterity than most earth ponies, meaning she can adapt to unfamiliar weapons quickly. Trixie's illusion magic lends to loud sounds and bright light, distracting or blinding foes can allow fighters the chance to close in and make them easier targets for spell casters and archers. Weather Pegasi could be devastating, weaponizing weather would be easy.
5491099
Well, took me long enough, but I finally got around to fixing those errors. You have my thanks for pointing them out. As it happens while I didn't write it out on a phone, a lot of this story's chapters get written on an older laptop with some quirky keys, though I think most the errors stem from the fact that the writing gets done usually between the hours of 1-3AM.
5596551
Glad you liked it. I'm enjoying building the character dynamics here.
5623843
Good points and I'd say the concept of cutie marks is something the Legion would gradually have to get used to as part of the reunification. In time I can see Legion commanders starting to realize how cutie mark talents could apply to military matters, but that kind of thought process and implementation would take time to reach a large scale. Might be something that can come up in the short term though here with this particular group of Heartlanders. With Allie Way her talents could also be applied to more conventional artillery, like being very good at direction catapults or the like.
Hmm, now that I think about it I can't remember if the pegasi of the Barrier Lands actually do any weather control at all. I can't remember any battles or scenes in Upheaval describing if the Legion pegasi used weather control to advantage or not.
Was that almost apologetic? If so, don’t sweat it. Too many would‐be authors gloss over things like this in order to get back to the action. I cannot tell you how glad I am that you don’t fall prey to this pernicious habit. …or its inverse. tl;dr: You’ve managed to hit the sweet spot pacing‐wise and stay there — keep up the good work.
The upcoming battle is going to be a bloodbath, the Fangbreaker Fortress of Legionnaires of Equestria, isn’t it?
You’ve only been hinting at it since, I dunno — chapters ago? the entire story? — but I’m anticipating and dreading the coming chapter in equal proportion.
Corn: typos and other miscellaneous gripes.
Crusta: grammatical errors.
Crimson: spelling errors and homophone, homonym, and near homonym substitution errors.
De York: corrections.
while
Runeward, “but or Runeward. “But
sir.” (N.B.: Runeward is a stallion.)
a
your
if
said, “and or said. “And (You don’t capitalise the first letter when continuing dialogue after a speech tag. This particular instance can go either way as you can start a sentence with “and”.)
downcast, “those (You don’t capitalise the first letter when continuing dialogue after a speech tag.)
Sergeant,” reported
Sarge
neutral, “it
wink, “either or wink. “Either (I recommend the latter option as it reads more naturally to me.)
Sarge?”
Sarge,
now
and banners had rather quickly (Strictly speaking this isn’t a correction, but I strongly recommend this as it reads far more naturally to me.)
is
nodded,
questioningly. “What?” (Also: I’m no English lit. major but I get the distinct feeling that this entire sentence should be part of the previous paragraph. Doubly so if the line is said by Coldiron.)
and
wooden
forest, “behind
Captain’s
they
breached.
looked as uncomfortable
restraint by not
if
If (Unless that was a slip of the tongue by Runeward, in which case give yourself one NotBadObama.jpg.)
etc.,
smiled. “No (Smiled isn’t a speech tag.)
P.S.: Sorry if some of these have already been fixed, I got distracted while writing this when the chapter first came out and have only just remembered to post it.
5636842
If you've peeked at some of my other stories you'll see that pacing is something I rather struggle with. I certainly hope I'm doing a better job with it here in this story. From the sound of your comment I'm at least doing something right. Let me know if I start to slip.
All I can say without spoiling anything is that i don't intend for the battle to be an easy ride for the characters.
Anyway thank you again for helping with spotting errors. Its much appreciated.
5051116
So maybe Coco has a change of mental state similar to when Fluttershy turns on The Stare, only Coco's suddenly gives her berserker strength, great stamina, and amazing fighting instincts?
Really excited to see this battle start. Why do I have a bad feeling about Coldiron's dad, though?
Also, this is sort of random, but I love how you can keep every Trixie you write distinct, if that makes any sense. Like this Trixie is way different (and in a totally different situation) than Lunaverse Trixie, but it still feels really true to the character, imo.
First half was gold, the latter is a bit dry.
Corn: typos and other miscellaneous gripes.
Crusta: grammatical errors.
Crimson: spelling errors and homophone, homonym, and near homonym substitution errors.
De York: corrections.
cursed
too,” said Counter Charge. “The
Its
moving along,
Her (N.B.: Runeward is still a mare.)
Warchiefs
of
legs
involved. Perhaps
anything,” said Coldiron. “If or anything,” said Coldiron, “if
too
it
us, Trixie thought. This or us, Trixie thought, this
Warchief
Warchief’s
were the occasional blossoms of fire or deadly lances of lightning or was the occasional blossom of fire or deadly lance of lightning (If the former is burst fire then the latter is semi‐auto.)
wall—
loose
earlier. Such
Coldiron
northern
P.S.: Remember to strip trailing spaces.
5654696
Trixie is one of my favorite characters to write, and I do try to make sure that she's got some differences that make sense for each incarnation of her I do.
5655729
A fair assessment. I think perhaps I got a bit too eager to get the battle started when I saw how large the chapter was getting, skimping on those extra juicy details that help really paint a scene. And thanks for the help with the errors. I'll be giving this chapter a once or twice over soon.
Wow, that certainly was intense. I loved your description of battle, it really shows that visceral horror and violence. So if the next chapter is the conclusion of the battle for Beartrap Fortress, how close does that take us to the conclusion of the whole story?
Ouch. You certainly don't hold back. It's got me wondering what's going to be left after this battle's all over.
It's got to be frustrating for the ponies that they not only have ursans to deal with but the lurkers too. As if one was bad enough.
Keep at it!
5851336
The whole story? Can't say for sure how long the entire story I have in mind might be. This particular story arc is about three chapters from being complete, I'd reckon. At that point I've been debating whether I should separate the arcs with their own story pages, or just keep it all here. I've noticed some authors favor doing a number of "sequel" stories to what's basically an ongoing tale, while others keep it all lumped together. Haven't decided which way I want to roll with it yet, but if I do "complete" this story, it'll be in three chapters or so, then I'll make a sequel story for the next arc.
5851939
Thanks, I'm glad you're enjoying it.
5859402
That's very interesting. I suppose it would depend on how long each chapter would be or how connected each installment would be if you chose to separate them. Either way, I'm looking forward to seeing the results.
Doesn't the epilogue mean the chapter after the final chapter? So next chapter is the final chapter?
That aside, this definitely was a heart-pounder, very intense chapter. You really pulled off some awesome wham moments in this one.
5982948
Technically, yes. I tend to treat epilogues like final chapters, making them a bit longer and bulkier than most epilogues tend to be, so I think of them like the 'final chapter' of any given story. So next chapter will be the wind down from the battle and such, then the epilogue is going to essentially be set up for the next story. That's the plan anyway.
5983094
Oh, ok. Makes sense!