Test are not fun. This is something I learned the hard way. I also greatly dislike that Dr. from the Power Lottery.
"Ah, there you are 63720985. I've been looking for you. We have more test to run after all."
"Oh Faust no, RUN!"
Crossovers will be welcome but they will be infrequent as I intend to focus more on the story its self
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Interesting and intriguing, I must say. While some parts are a bit confusing (The part where the main character lies in the crater), and the first chapter feels a bit rushed, I still think it has a lot of potentials and has has some originality. Sadly, I can't state any tips since there is not a lot going on in the story at the moment.
Although, there is one thing I noticed. I looked at the page, and the tiers state that you can either have 3 or 5 powers, not 4... so, what will be the fifth power? Perhaps the ability to steal the powers of other 'power lottery volunteers' that landed on the world and are evil?
9499666
For now the powers are the result of the experimental serum and our MC might gain one or two more powers depending on how the story goes.
You may want to include a status in your story's description on if or if not the main character will be meeting other Displaced or not. Depending on which you choose, it will attract different people to your story.
9499699
Thank you, and done.
Ooooohhhhhh.... I'll be keeping an eye on this.
Thanks for the chapter.
one question: is the random pronoun generation for the Protagonist accidental, or on purpose? Are they ‘he’, ‘she’, or what?
Do you switch bitween he/she him/her for a reason?
9500142
9500103
The switching between pronouns is on purpose for a number of reasons.
1: The Dr. doesn't care about gender and will use whatever pronoun they please because they want to
2: The Dr. only cares to have the basics statistics, if you will, for the species their currently working with
3: I haven't decided what gender, if any, the MC is going to have
more
any idea when we can expect an update and new chapter?
9504622
I'm not to sure right now. I would say a couple of days minimum, or a week of three max.
Edit: Or right now.
Lol, I feel cheated, still thanks for the chapter split plus extension. This seems awesome.
King Speer and Queen Sheath?
9505982
Cool, I'm satisfied. Thanks for the chapter, feels like this will get super complex what with so many displaced in one universe.
9507845
Yeah, I might end up removing the comedy tag but I'm gonna keep it for now.
The synopsis confuses me. What "Dr." are you talking about?
9597323
When I was referring to the "Dr" it was the one in chapter one, the guy, person, thing that dose the test as that is all they are referred to as is the "Dr" and I have no plans to give it an actual name.
minutes
Efreeti
beasts
deep primal anger
cries
Well, you know what they say....
https://m.9598016
Oops
9598022
Heh, that made me laugh.
Reading this, I noticed that there were a lot of uses of ‘there’ instead of ‘their’, too many to give locations.
9598520
Yeah, I was trying to force out a chapter to actually get me writing (typing?) again so there are most likely a lot of spelling errors.
That Scout is kind of a big deal.
A few tips for you:
1: You should look into finding an editor or proofreader to help you with the errors you might not have noticed.
2: Don't rush yourself. If you take your time to write instead of forcing a chapter out, you'll notice how there will be less errors on it.
3: Make a flexible story plan. If you want the story to go a certain way, try to keep it to that, but if it starts to deviate from that, just adjust it in that direction or make it so it still 'connects' to where you want it to go.
Overall, a great story, one that I wish you to have as much fun writing as we have reading. Have an upvote and a favorite.
I was doing this just now and got transcendent demon physiology
Neat
9849347
Are you planning to do a story with it, or just having fun?
9849587
just having fun and I thought it was kinda funny that one of my powers was almost the exact opposite of yours.
9851064
It is funny, I was just wondering cause it would be an interesting crossover.
9851482
oh, well in that case its even funnier because my other powers were light-darkness aura and quantum manipulation, and an application of quantum manipulation is the ability to travel to other universes!
9853043
Well if you decide to make a displaced with those powers let me know. If you decide not to though I might use those for a character that ///////No Spoilers\\\\\\\