The story of Carl Carlson Carlson The Seventh and how he one day woke up in Equestria as a foal(Half pony half changeling) and an orphan. And his decent into madness for geting the even worse than his original name Annony Mare.(Even though he is a colt)
Follow along as he uses his foreknoleadge and modern knoleadge to atempts to impliment a masterplan that will create a glorious 300TB net conection with a seemles MMO VR all payed for by the countries of Equis under treat of compleate global annihilation.
Also random shenanigans until that works out or falls apart in a burning glory.
Chapters (3)
This looks... uh... interesting...
Well the writing is still a bit all over the place at the moments, which could be fixed with adding more punctuations in your sentences would help slow the peacing of story. I like how you present Celestia at how she was written as it was obviously and while I can understand that she might not all their in the head it was had to make out her thoughts other that she is so old and worn down by all the centuries of bearing the crown and the loneliness in the passage of time, but the way that he logic in explain her interest in Anon, is somewhat gargled for me, I take it that this part was done in a rush. The par that I have the most trouble understanding some parts of the story at the end of the second chapter as you seem spew out a lot of exposition on Anon's backstory could have been better delivered but at least that is out of the way now.
Still, I wonder what other quirks he also have the changelings that he might have inherited and if they would ever try to reclaim him one day as one of their own. It would be nice to see a HiE story happening Ponyville while the Mane 6 are probably just born and we will probably see a lot of familiar faces like the apples of Rarity's family, and I wonder if he will set things in motions for future events in the series, Like the Apple's or Pear's rivalry. I hope Doctor Hooves will be in on it too. What about the Riche's, Bon Bon, Derpy, Cheerlee, Nurce Red Heart, Caramel? There is a whole host of story arc potential you could explore from this alone.
As far as I can tell I like the pairing of Mayor Mare and Anony-Mare with already sharing a naming scheme to them already, and I wonder what the rest of her own family is like? I wonder how the living arrangements will go between them form this point on ward as well if the regular mismanagement of Winder Wrapup is truly her fault?
So far the humor is interesting, and I do like the set up so far, you just need to work on the delivery. Good luck with your story.
Also if you are interested in knowing I also do cover art here on FimFiction a lot, so if you want to take a peak to my portfolio in the link bellow, and that you are interested please PM when you have a chance. Hope to hear from you soon.
https://www.deviantart.com/amalgamzaku
I am not one you would consider mentally stable... I'm in.
Huh, is height words is all that we get for this chapter or is this some kind of micro-transaction type of deal?
9488795
LOL posted whille writeing the chapter but its still short becouse I wanted a new PoV for the actual Ponivile introduction.
I think in about 3-4 chapters I can start focusing on more interactions and cut down on the exposition
Hum, well I was hoping that he was still a guy but often mistaken for a filly but I guess I can work with that, he/she could still add that particular anatomy part thanks to his changeling heritage. Still, I am surprised that he wasn't picked up by his biological mother's relatives if the crown has so much record of her. I do like the idea that Lira being the only think keeping Ponyville together with all the crises they go through and covers for Mayer Mare's other incompetence.
9488960
Actual spoiler ahed. You have been warned.
Her mother was a spy hence her name and the secret service sort of hid the fact they let an operative get captured raped and then die from child birth.Also they didn't tell the relatives because changelings are technically a national secret and since Lyra is a hybrid they didn't want to risk her showing her heratage where they can't do damage control. Also this is the reason Bon Bon happens during puberty but that's at least chapter 20 or even after.
This is a very enjoyable story, look forward to future chapters
Though there are a couple of grammar mistakes i noticed such as you spelling ponyville wrong
9489022
Yep I am thinking of adding unedited and edited to the end of chapters and going trough them when I have the time.
Also I am glad to hear it's enjoyable despite the eye bleeding grammar.
More please
Dafaq is wrong with her