When Twilight awakes in a land that is completely unfamiliar to her, she meets three strangers that will help her if she helps them to their freedom. Along the way, Twilight will come across new friends and enemies and eventually find that her other friends made it to this strange land as well. Will Twilight and her friends be able to find their way back to Equestria, or will they be forever doom to the Downside?
Let the Rites begin!
(Basically this is crossover fic of how Twi and the gang would react to the events of the game, Pyre)
All rights to the MLP characters used for this fic go to Hasbro.
All rights to the Pyre characters, environments, and music used for this fic go to SuperGiant Games.
Cover art by the awesomely talented Little Tigress
Expect regular updates, with up to a month or so.
This is awesome! Pyre is one of the best games I've played in recent years. I can't wait to see how Twilight being the Reader will change things up for the Nightwings.
9491971
Yes, I always thought it would be interesting to see how Twilight would react in a world where reading and books (aka her biggest passion in life) is super illegal.
9492222
What's funny is that when I first played the game. I wondered how offended Luna would be if she learned that those considered crazy in that world were called moontouched.
9492857
Funny you mention Luna, because I have a feeling that she would have a lot of sympathy for a certain character that appears mid-game. One that also fell from grace. ;)
So Twilight got to know Jodariel a little better. Now I'm curious to see which of the exiles she'll become the closest to. Also, speaking of the Demons. Will Twilight undergo any kind of mutation during her time in the Downside or will she escape before that place has any lasting effects on her?
9496050
You have to be in the Downside for a super long time (years really) to start growing horns. Thankfully, without giving too much spoilers, she won't be there for that long.
Well this story is shaping up nicely so far, the first chapter was a bit iffy at time but still solid and the following one much more solid and the tired one was we really started to get a better sense of who are the characters; they still need work to get a really good sense of them but it's getting their. I did really like the part with the book scene and how it seemed to galvanize them into perusing their goals especially Twilight. If this world really makes the people in it to start growing horns does that mean that Twilight is going to become Equestria first Multicorn?
9496727
I'm glad to see that you think my writing is getting progressively better with each chapter! And yeah, in the game, the player is the one controlling the characters' movements and actions during the Rites. So for this fic, I wanted to frame where it felt like Twi was just controlling these characters, but rather formed a connection that would help them coordinate. Anyway, keep an eye out, but there's a lot more to these characters and it'll be interesting how Twi will interact more with them.
9496967
Well I would credit you in not being too forceful in Meshing Twilight with the others, at least until the book, and even then I feel you did a reasonable job at establishing that in the end they all have the common cause but with different goals in mind, the book part help to establish that that they would to en extent go out on a limb for each other at which I though was interesting. Still, what I was surprised at first is that they didn't seem to have seen Twilight like just another animal from this odd world and almost immediately; I wouldn't blame you for mostly skipping that part.
So any change for a Multicorn then?
9497017
Well, the idea is the exiles usually have to spent years in the Downside horns to begin growing horns, and without gicving away too much spoilers, Twi won't be around that long. Although, I could always bend the rules of the world (since Equestrian magic is totally unpredictable) for the sake of storytelling....Let me think on that. But don't worry, there are more Demon characters later on in the story. :)
9497041
Something like this maybe?
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And the Nightwings score their first victory!
I definitely wasn't expecting any of Twilight's friends to make an appearance so soon. Will they be participating in the Rites or do you have something else in mind for them?
9500957
...Yes.
9500994
media.tenor.co/images/c2a0dd40e02c95328cda2fdbaed472ff/raw
Applejack already seems pretty attached to Mae. If she ends up going to Equestria instead of the Commonwealth. I'm pretty sure AJ (or Luna) will be adopting her.
9507834
Well, AJ is the most family-oriented of the Mane 6, so I thought it would make for a nice bond to someone who probably needs a family the most.
Interesting, I wonder what the girl will be up to on her end in the meanwhile.
Thanks for another awesome chapter.
I knew when Fluttershy made her appearance she would go straight for Rukey. I forsee many hugs and possibly belly rubs in our favorite Cur's future. I'm also gonna take a shot in the dark and say that when Sir Gilman joins the Nightwings. He'll declare himself to be Rarity's personal knight.
9519158
Well thank you. I had are really fun time writing for the Fate. And something tells me that Flutters is gonna really like the next member that joins the Nightwings. :)
And little Ti'zo joins the merry band. I avoided a fair share of defeats in the game thanks to him.
Since both Rukey and Ti'zo are already pretty taken with Fluttershy. Will we be seeing a small "war" between the two of them for her attention?
9534510
Eh, i think it's safe to safe that Ti'zo will probably get a bit more jealous than Rukey will. Although, Rukey is probably gonna need some Flutter Support when they all meet with the next Triumvirate.
(Btw, Fluttershy being Ti'zo's translator makes sense, right?)
9534523
Absolutely, I have no trouble believing that she would be able to immediately understand his language.
I'd actually completely forgotten about Fluttershy's little brat of a rabbit. I take back what I said in my previous review about Rukey and Ti'zo fighting. If Angel does somehow find himself in the Downside. I see the two of them teaming up to put that bunny in his place when they see how he treats Fluttershy.
9562926
Well, I didn't plan on having Angel sent to the Downside, but...let me think on it. Anyways, while there will be no outright fighting, it is a bit obvious that Rukey a little jealous of Ti'zo. Thankfully, Rukey's gonna get some Flutter love in the next chapter, what with the upcoming Adversaries that the Nightwings are going up against next.
I took me a moment to realize Musical Cue was a link.
*looks at tags*
Oh god there’s going to be so many characters.
The Rite battle with the Dissidents was my favorite so far. You really have a great talent for writing battle scenes.
Also, Fear "The Stare" Barker! Fear "The Stare"!
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9603798
Thank you for the compliment.
And I have say, my favorite part of writing this story is writing all the characters traits and quirks of the MLP characters and interweaving them into this world. It's a ton of fun!
So Rukey is the first of the Nightwings to take Sandra's trial. My money is on either Mae or Hedwyn being next. Also, that part at the very end certainly sounded ominous. Now you really got me curious to see just what Twilight will be facing that will tax her spirit that much.
On an unrelated note. If you haven't seen the new Godzilla movie yet. Definitely go check it out. It's amazing!
9653922
The Flagging Hands are some of the bleakest parts of the Downside, so it will be interesting to see how Twilight can rouse her friends and the other Nightwings from such melancholy...if she overcome her own.
(Also yes, I have been thinking about seeing that movie. Looks fun.)
9653932
When you do see it. Make sure you stay till the very end. Because there is a post-credit scene.
Thanks for another awesome chapter!
It's a good thing Fluttershy didn't see the river of bones. I doubt that she would have been able to stay cheerful upon seeing such a morbid scene. I'm actually surprised Twilight took that as well as she did. Will that river be the darkest thing she sees in the Downside or will she be witnessing things grimmer then that during her stay?
9713086
I think it actually will, but I've yet to decide on that. She's bound to run into some bad stuff in the Downside later on.
Her reaction to the river of bones was something I was pondering on for awhile. I didn't want to rely on too much guts and gore for shock value, so a thought bones (save for that rotting corpse) would be a good medium. With that said, I didn't want to overdo Twi's reaction, because I wanted her to have a grim reminder for what's at stake. Still, I'm sure those bones will haunt the back of Twi mind for awhile.
Did you happen to pick up on that small detail with Fluttershy that Twilight noticed near the end?
9713173
As Twilight said, death is such a rare occurrence in Equestria. To suddenly be confronted by such a large display of it would've had a massive impact on anypony that saw that river. I'd actually say that the only reason Twilight didn't go into complete shock was because Tariq was there to comfort her. Although let's see how much sleep she loses in the coming weeks. Since I agree with you about those bones haunting Twilight thoughts for the foreseeable future.
Also, yes I did catch that bit with Fluttershy's eyes. Looking forward to seeing what that was all about.
Thanks for another amazing chapter! It really brightened up the crappy day I had.
Udmildhe was by far the creepiest character in Pyre and you did a fantastic job of showcasing that in this chapter. Now that the witch has been defeated. Let's see how the Nightwings handle their first days with Pinkie Pie. The only one I can think of that may have a problem with her would be Jodariel. Given her no-nonsense personality and how "enthusiastic" Pinkie can be when she wants to make others happy. It wouldn't surprise me to see Jodariel snap at Pinkie for not knowing when to leave her alone.
9771123
Glad I was able to brighten up your day a bit.
Yeah, Jodariel might have a hard time dealing with Pinkie, but I think I'm gonna have fun writing Pinkie interacting with another character coming up soon.
Any thoughts on that "Blessing" ability Futtershy showed in the Rite?
9771477
It is definitely an interesting addition to the Nightwings arsenal. if it truly is the Elements of Harmony that are responsible for the "Blessing" ability. I'm really curious to see how the rest of the Mane six's individual Bless abilities will help the Nightwings in the Rites. And more importantly, what will happen when all six abilities are activated at the same time.
9771590
Well, not all of Twi's friends will have a Blessing ability. Let's just say that one or three of them with be helping the Nightwings in a more...active role.
Poor Twilight, Brighton using the graveyard to motivate her while cruel was certainly effective. Will her relationship with him mirror the canon reader's or will Twilight somehow be able to forge a friendship with him?
I also loved Twilight and Dashie's reaction when they found out the book was made from the skin and blood of an eldritch terror. Although I was a little surprised she was able to even look at the book so quickly after learning this bit of info.
And finally let's not forget Big Bertrude's first appearance and how Pinkie was able to almost immediately befriend her despite her rather intimidating appearance. I kind of figured Pinkie would be the one to approach her considering Fluttershy has already bonded with both Rukey and Ti'zo. I'm still betting that when Sir Gilman and Rarity makes their appearance. He will appoint himself as Rarity's personal knight and constantly refer to her as either "Milady" or "My Fair Maiden"
9817641
I mean, tbh, having Pinkie trying to befriend Bertrude of all character is just hilarious and you'll be surprised how well that friendship will develop in the future.
So, without going too far into spoilers, I do have plan for the Voice to be more antagonistic towards Twi, even more so than in the game. Given the fact that she from a different world WITH the fact that she very well-read, he's really not going to be fond of her or her victories in the Rites.
On a side note, any thoughts about that connection Rainbow made between Twi and Gol?
9817688
I was wondering if that little comparison had a deeper meaning to it. Since we still don't know what caused the explosion that transported the girls to the Downside. I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say that Gol has some kind of connection to Twilight and that he was the one that interfered with her spell.
9817787
You might be right, but you also might be wrong....or possibly both.
Waiting for the "Strange Voyage" musical cue, because I dig that song something fierce.
I just started reading, and I got to say I'm hooked. I have no idea what the game is, hopefully, I won't need to. Let's see what the rest of this story offers.
9852971
Glad to see that you're interested! If you're curious about the game it's based on, you can check out this trailer for it. Either way, it's nice to have another reader for my story!
Aw, yiss. My favorite Darren Korb song gets cued up. I have to say, I always struggle with this plot point, both in the game and in the story here presented. Hedwyn seems like such a likeable, level-headed chap, and I struggle to reconcile my first impressions with the irresponsible, lovesick fool who irresponsibly deserted his post (getting innocents killed in the process) that the canon eventually presents him as.
9861725
I won't lie, what Hed did was really messed up and honestly exile feels like a suitable punishment for his crimes. But at the same time, it was act really out of young stupidity than purposeful ill intent. So I imagine the 5 years of surviving in the Downside made him come to terms with what he did and in return become wiser for it. That's part of the reason why he's so adamant in helping Twi get back home. He doesn't want to abandon her like he did to his comrades. Hedwyn's a good guy, but I wanted to at least try to flesh out both the positive and negative aspects of his character.
P.S. My favorite track by far is a tie between Glorious Tradition and Will of the Scribes.
I was wondering when Twilight would start to learn of her companion's pasts. She was pretty understanding of Hedwyn's story. Despite the fact that his actions did cause the death of his comrades. Do you plan on having Twilight becoming distrustful of one of her current or future companions when she learns why they were exiled to the Downside?
9861811
Hmmm....now that you mention it, there might be one that will be coming up, but I think that I wouldn't use the term 'distrustful' and maybe instead say 'suspicious' and/or 'anxious'. But, that will eventually be brought up with that character.
I believe that Twilight is a character that focuses on what in front of her. When she interacts with others, she tends to focus more on how they are in the present rather than evaluating their past actions (to an extent of course). That's what really helps her whenever she redeems a villain. So while what Hed did was really bad, Twi can see that he's no longer the man that made that stupid decision and is someone who is now much more considerate of others' well-being.
Btw, I'm trying to flesh out more details of the characters that the game doesn't really do (Hedwyn's story for example), and that kinda means that I may have to take a few liberties and add some original stuff to them. You don't think that would derive from the main spirit of the game, do you?
9861859
You're doing an amazing job with all the characters from Pyre. And since I doubt Supergiant Games will be releasing anything that expands upon their backstories. I believe it's up to fans like you to flesh them out.