TwiPON3
Joined 28th Dec, 2017 ·
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Longer chapters would be great
9446583
I did write these when I was pressed for time, but I'll try.
9446598
Nice
Good story but too much too fast. I barely know or honestly care about Seth. There's little about how he thinks or his life. And Nightshine? It's just, WHAM, have a pony!
The thing with the kids stopping him is way too much as well. Unless you plan to slow it down and give us more details about school.
That said. The characters seem good, there's a nice sense of humor and the plot is interesting.
Pssst. Throw the AU tag on this quick!
9447205
That school is supposed to be highly discriminatory against non-humans, similar to how my high school was to people like me. I may come back and revisit it some later, but he's got a good life at CHS for right now.
Is this a sequel? It sounds like a sequel.
9447866
It's not.
9447866
But it is based on the (probably) dead Friendship is Monsters.
9448598
So this story has nothing to do with the story My Filly, Nightshine?
9463601
Not particularly.
I see the chapters have lengthened, good
9561686
It didn't seem like it was going on-and-on about something that could've been said in 400ish or so words, did it?
9562052
They have increased a couple hundred words but do try and consistently reach over 1000 words it will help
9447205
It feels like I’m reading off the list or bullet points
Man you got to make these chapters longer