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Once I upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria-
I interrupted the narrator by punching her in the face.
"No!" I yelled into the microphone that she was using. "We've already watched this episode at least once, and have read a thousand fanfics that start the EXACT. SAME. WAY. We all understand what happens in the first episode! Get on with it!" I then fast-forwarded the episode to the part after Rainbow Dash meets the Shadowbolts.
Her friends cheered Rainbow as she returned across the bridge. “Good job, Rainbow!” Twilight said.
“See? I’d never leave my friends hangin’!” Rainbow said happily.
The six of them looked at the ancient, decayed palace by them. "Huh. We're here," Twilight said.
"I'll go ahead!" Pinkie hopped ahead, bouncing towards the entrance and going inside.
"Pinkie!" Twilight yelled.
"...Should we go get her?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"No, really?" Twilight asked and galloped to the entrance, followed by her friends.
"Hello?" Pinkie asked, her voice echoing into the distance. "Hello- AH!" She was suddenly caught in a net, suspended feet above the ground.
"Ha!" A deep voice echoed in the distance. Suddenly, a portal of magic appeared, and Nightmare Moon was suddenly in front of Pinkie. "I have finally caught you, Twilight Spark-" She looked at Pinkie, seeing that she's not Twilight Sparkle. "You're not Twilight Sparkle."
"No, I'm Pinkie Pie!" Pinkie said with glee.
"Oh, yes," Nightmare Moon said, rolling her eyes. "You're that annoying pony from the celebration from earlier." Nightmare Moon just stood there. "Well, this is the only trap I have, so I might as well make you my servant." She walked up to Pinkie and put her horn up to her head. "You must now swear your fealty to me now."
"No!" Pinkie said.
"I have my horn up to your head! I can easily kill you right now! Say it!"
"No! I don't want to!"
Nightmare Moon mumbled to herself, "I swear, if I have to use a mind control spell... Say it!"
"I give up!" Nightmare Moon's horn glowed blue, and she was in control of her mind. "You will now swear your fealty to me!"
"No!" Pinkie still denied, despite her not being in control of her mind.
"Oh come on! If you don't obey me I'll... Make you not be able to eat candy anymore!"
Pinkie suddenly got a giant frown on her face. "Noooo! I need my sweets!" She burst out in tears. "Fine! I'll do it! Just let me have my sweets!"
Nightmare Moon grinned. "Okay. Now just swear your fealty to me."
"I swear I'll be your evil servant, I swear my fealty, blah blah blah, I'm evil now, blah blah blah, I'll be your servant until you die," Pinkie sighed after finishing.
"Perfect... Now, I must transform you to be my servant..." Nightmare Moon's horn glowed blue again, and suddenly a gust of wind circled Pinkie. After a few moments, the wind flew away and Pinkie was suddenly in armor similar to Nightmare Moon's, along with weird blue eyes. Y'know, because bluish armor and eyes is evil and all. "You are now my second-in-command! We shall rule them all!" The two started evilly laughing.
"I think I hear somepony around the corner!" A familiar voice said from around the corner. Pinkie and Nightmare Moon looked at a staircase and up came 5 ponies. You obviously know who they are. "There's Pinkie!" Twilight said. "We would have got here earlier if it weren't for Rainbow Dash having to go pee. Why didn't you go before we came?"
"It's not my fault! I didn't have to go before we left!" Rainbow Dash retorted.
Twilight sighed and looked at Pinkie. "Hey, what's up with that armor? And your eyes? And why are you standing next to Nightmare Moon?"
"She's mine now, you imbeciles!" Nightmare Moon said.
"Hey, girls!" Pinkie said, hopping to her friends.
"What are you doing?!" Nightmare Moon asked. "You're on my side! You swore your undying loyalty!"
"I did?" Pinkie asked. "Okay!" Pinkie walked back to Nightmare Moon.
Nightmare Moon face-hooved and sighed. "Attack them!"
"Why would I attack my friends?" Pinkie asked, staring at her.
"They're not your friends!!" Nightmare Moon yelled. "They're not friends anymore! You're my servant! You serve me and you hate them!!" Nightmare Moon growled after finishing.
Pinkie stepped backwards a bit. "Okay. Gosh, no need to yell." She walked towards the rest of her friends. "Y'know, I'm not going to hurt you."
"AAAAHHHHH!" Nightmare Moon screamed and fell to the ground. "I give up! Please, just make it stop! Go get the Elements of Harmony and blast me! I can't take it anymore!" She was in tears.
"Um..." Twilight said.
"GO!" Nightmare Moon yelled, and the Elements of Harmony were on their way.
Except for one: The Element of Laughter. "Do I go with them?" Pinkie asked sincerely. "Because that would mean I'm betraying you."
"Yes, it's my command for you to betray me," Nightmare Moon said while lifting herself up. "Just go."
Pinkie just looked at her with big, puppy-dog eyes. "Okay..." she said in a sad voice.
She, along with the rest of the Elements of Harmony, came back minutes later with their necklaces and weird crown thingy. They then blasted Nightmare Moon, who just stood there, waiting for it to happen.
And then we all know what happens after that.
At the party after Nightmare Moon was defeated, and Luna was then best princess
"So..." Twilight said between the two princesses and Pinkie. "What happens now? Nightmare Moon was defeated, so does that mean that Pinkie no longer is sworn under her legion?"
"I'm not sure," Princess Celestia said. "She swore herself under Nightmare Moon to serve her until her death; Nightmare Moon is gone, but Luna is still alive."
"Actually, I still am sworn under Nightmare Moon, since Luna's alive," Pinkie said. "So that means I must continue her plans."
"And what plans are those?" Twilight asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Um..." Pinkie said, thinking. "Oh yeah! To take over Equestria and bring eternal darkness!" She turned around and began walking away. "Bye, girls!"
"Wait, WHAT?!" Twilight yelled.
Equestria was then destroyed somehow, despite it only being eternal night and nothing else.
Well, that's Pinkie for ya!