Chapter D2: Free the Diamond
As the sun started creeping down the horizon, Diamond Tiara flopped down on her bed.
“Ugh… I’m exhausted. How the hay can anypony do that for a living?” asked Diamond Tiara.
“Well, most miners are fully grown ponies, Diamond. They’re usually in better shape than you, too,” said Silver Spoon.
Diamond Tiara turned to glare at her friend, who was reading a book on her own bed.
“Are you calling me fat?” asked Diamond Tiara.
“No, I’m saying you’re not the most physically active pony. Even you have to admit you’ve never really been one to play sports, let alone spend weeks outside mining rocks,” said Silver Spoon.
Diamond Tiara let out a sigh, but conceded the point.
“Whatever. I still made it to the end of another day. I’m not as out of shape as you think,” said Diamond Tiara.
Silver Spoon put down her book and looked at her friend with a smile.
“Yep. You made it. And I’m so happy to see that you did. So, did you learn anything today?” asked Silver Spoon.
“Just that I’m now even more sure I’m not going to grow up to have anything to do with mining. I think I can respect anypony who does, but it’s not for me,” said Diamond Tiara.
“Welp, I’d say that’s three steps forward in the right direction,” said Silver Spoon.
“Three steps?” asked Diamond Tiara.
Yeah. You actually tried something new, you accepted that you’re not good at something, and most of all, you said you can actually respect somepony. When was the last time you could ever do that?” said Silver Spoon.
Diamond Tiara thought about it for a moment, and realized Silver Spoon was right. After grinding away, breaking rocks for hours on end, she had to admit she genuinely felt admiration for anyone who could do that every day to make a living.
It was a novel feeling, and a surprisingly pleasant one considering it was basically admitting somepony else was better at something than her.
Speaking of novel feelings…
“Actually, I think it’s four steps forward,” said Diamond Tiara.
“Oh?” asked Silver Spoon with a raised eyebrow.
Diamond Tiara pulled out a small bag of bits. She gave it shake, causing the bits inside to jingle. It was less money than she’d usually carry around with her, but it seemed to be so much more valuable.
“I got money,” said Diamond Tiara.
Silver Spoon looked at Diamond Tiara in confusion.
“Uh, yeah. Your family is super rich. Of course you have money,” said Silver Spoon.
“No, I mean I earned money. I didn’t get it from my allowance, or as a present, or by annoying my parents until they forked over the cash. These bits are mine. I did a job, and got paid for it,” said Diamond Tiara.
“Oh. I guess I never thought of that. I mean, I’ve kind of always gotten my money the same way as you, just without annoying my parents. How does that feel?” asked Silver Spoon.
Diamond Tiara gave the bag another shake.
“It feels… satisfying, I guess. Like, these bits are mine, and I can do whatever I want with them. I mean, that’s true of all the money I’ve ever had, I guess, but it’s… more so than usual? I’m not really sure how to describe it,” admitted Diamond Tiara.
“Me neither. But you’re probably right. That’s another step forward,” said Silver Spoon with a nod.
Diamond Tiara put her bag of money away, and laid back down on her bed.
“So, now what? If you’re certain you’re not going to be a miner, what are you planning on doing with yourself?” asked Silver Spoon.
“I dunno. Maybe I’ll try rock farming or something. I mean, harvesting gem stones is closer to my cutie mark than mining ores, anyway,” said Diamond Tiara.
Silver Spoon frowned at that, but it was a sad sort of frown, not an angry one.
“Diamond, you know your mark doesn’t necessarily mean anything stone related. Are you sure you want to try rock farming? I’ve heard it’s a really boring job,” said Silver.
“I know, but…” Diamond Tiara started to say, but then she paused.
“But?” asked Silver Spoon.
Diamond Tiara didn’t answer. She just turned away and grumbled something under her breath.
Silver Spoon let out a sigh. She hadn’t been able to hear what Diamond had said, but she knew the reason why. Without a word, Silver got up, made her way over to Diamond’s bed, climbed on, and pulled Diamond Tiara into a hug.
Diamond Tiara didn’t turn to return the hug, but she didn’t push Silver away either.
“Again, Silver? I get what you’re trying to do, but seriously. I think you’ve given me a hug every day since we came here,” said Diamond Tiara.
“I’ll stop hugging you when I think you don’t need them anymore,” said Silver.
Diamond Tiara sighed, but didn’t object. She still refused to return the hug, though. Silver Spoon was not particularly pleased by this, but at least Diamond wasn’t breaking into tears at the mere mention of her problems anymore.
It was clear there was still a long way to go before Diamond truly began to recover. But what could Silver do, other than be there for Diamond, encouraging her every step of the way? Silver Spoon glanced at the calendar on the wall. Their stay at the mine was nearing its end. Even with the plans she, her parents, and even Filthy Rich had made for when they returned, Silver was still worried.
She really wanted Diamond Tiara to get better. But after suffering so much for so long, was that even possible? Silver Spoon wasn’t sure, but by Celestia she had to try. Even if Diamond wasn’t being very receptive of her efforts.
“Diamond… I know you’re scared, but that doesn’t mean you have to do something you hate just so you can avoid doing the same thing as your mom,” said Silver.
Diamond Tiara’s body went stiff. Silver Spoon, while concerned, had learned that this was a sign that she had hit where it hurt. She had to keep going and clean out the wound entirely.
“Look, it’s fine if you want to distance yourself from her. Hay, I think it’s a good idea you do. But don’t you think making yourself miserable just to get a little further away is a bad idea?” asked Silver Spoon.
Diamond Tiara let out a sniffle as she began to cry.
“I… I don’t want to… to…” mumbled Diamond.
“I know. It’s OK. Let it all out,” said Silver Spoon.
For several minutes, they didn’t say anything. Diamond Tiara cried, but she didn’t break into hysterical sobs this time.
Finally, Diamond Tiara found her voice again.
“I… don’t want to be a monster like… like her. I know you think I’m supposed to be a leader or something, but what kind of leader would I be? A mean, bossy, jerk who doesn’t care about anypony. I don’t… I don’t know how to be anything else,” mumbled Diamond Tiara.
“But you can learn. And it’s OK, Diamond. You don’t have to do my idea just yet. We can try rock farming if you really want to, but I think you’ll just end up hating it,” said Silver Spoon.
Diamond Tiara let out another sniffle.
“It’s what I deserve,” she muttered.
That got Silver Spoon angry.
“No it’s not! Don’t you ever think you deserve to be miserable! That’s what she wants you to feel! You’re better than that! You’re better than her! And you deserve to be happy for once in your life!” chided Silver.
Diamond Tiara didn’t respond with words, but she did start to cry again.
“Me, my family, hay, even your dad, we all want you to be happy, Diamond Tiara. We want you to rise above how horrible your life has been so far. We have faith in you. We believe that one day, you’ll be an amazing pony who’ll shine like the diamonds on your flank,” said Silver Spoon.
Diamond Tiara let out a sniffle.
“That’s… never going to happen, Silver,” said Diamond Tiara.
Silver Spoon looked at her friend in concern. That was not what she wanted to hear.
“Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’ll be able to get up and make a difference someday. But I’ll never be a perfect diamond. I’m going to end up like that thing on my nightstand,” said Diamond Tiara.
Silver quickly realized Diamond Tiara was referring to the rough diamond she had found a while ago. Diamond Tiara had taken the time to free the gem from its stone casing entirely, and given the whole thing some polishing. It was still a bit of a lopsided lump, but it was undeniably a gemstone.
At least she’s acknowledged she can improve. That’s an important step, but I still need to pull her out of this depressing line of thinking, thought Silver Spoon.
“Well, maybe. But I don’t think it’s an ugly diamond. It’s just not perfect. And there’s something beautiful about the natural flaws of a rough diamond that…” said Silver Spoon.
“Stop. Just stop, Silver,” said Diamond Tiara.
Silver Spoon paused, uncertain.
“I am so sick of those ‘you’re special, you don’t have to be perfect’ speeches. I get it. Please… just stop wasting your time saying it over and over again,” said Diamond Tiara in a resigned tone.
Silver Spoon let out a huff.
“I’ll keep giving you the speech until you start believing it. You are not worthless, Diamond. I’m not letting you just give up like this!” said Silver Spoon.
“I didn’t say I was giving up, Silver. I just wish you’d stop trying to convince me of something I already know,” said Diamond.
“Knowing isn’t the same thing as believing. And I don’t think you really understand the difference yet. What is this really about Diamond?” asked Silver Spoon.
Diamond Tiara let out a sigh.
“It’s about the diamond,” said Diamond Tiara.
Silver Spoon glanced at the flawed gemstone again in confusion.
“The diamond? What about it?” asked Silver Spoon.
“Do you know what the mine’s policy is on dug up gemstones?” asked Diamond Tiara.
Silver Spoon was really confused now.
“Uh… they don’t bother selling them, I guess?” said Silver Spoon.
“Yeah. They don’t sell them. They're so low quality that they just get rid of them. Your uncle was planning on throwing that thing in the trash before I asked to keep it,” said Diamond Tiara.
That was news to Silver Spoon. It was also not a good sign if Diamond Tiara was comparing herself to that gem.
“You’re not saying that the stone’s you, and you’re worthless, are you?” asked Silver Spoon.
Diamond Tiara was quiet for a moment, but then she turned towards her friend. She was still crying, but Silver Spoon was surprised to see that there was a spark of light in Diamond’s eyes that shined through her tears.
“No. It’s not worthless. Because I cared enough to save it. Maybe I’m just being stupid, and sentimental and junk, but I do care about it. And because I cared, it’s not in the trash. I saved it. It’s not worth much, but it’s not worthless. Because if nothing else, it means something to me,” said Diamond Tiara.
Silver Spoon blinked in disbelief. Was Diamond Tiara...
“And… I realized that the diamond’s a lot like me. Most ponies probably don’t care about me, but there’s a few ponies who do. You, your family, those three blan- I mean fillies, and even my dad… as long as at least one pony cares enough to pull me out of the stones and polish me then… I’m not completely worthless either,” said Diamond Tiara.
Silver Spoon was shocked, but once she realized what Diamond Tiara was saying, she smiled. She’d never been happier to have been wrong about what her friend was thinking. Her smile grew even bigger when Diamond Tiara reached over and returned her hug.
They were silent for a while, just holding each other tight as Diamond Tiara continued to cry. But now Silver Spoon could see that Diamond’s wasn’t shedding tears just because of her despair anymore. She was crying because she’d managed to find a small glimmer of hope.
And to Silver Spoon, it was a clear sign that this trip was doing exactly what she’d hoped it would. Diamond Tiara was still in a rough spot, no doubt about that, but she was starting to pull herself out. This was a small step forward, but it was also a very important one.
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Well, I get what you're saying about the "I really, really hope I'm doing the topic justice." - thing.
Good thing to strive for.
I like the chapter, though. Starts sad-ish, gets better.
Rock farming! A.k.a, with the Pies? That'll be interesting. I don't think she's even met Maud??
...
She is a Earth Pony... Can she Farm the Diamond? ... Is it gonna be like, some "Reflects her Soul" sorta thing, where she improves the diamond, and that reflects her own personal growth?
After Rock Farming, I guess the last Diamond related thing she can do that's not following in her mom's steps, is working with Rarity, and setting the diamond in something??
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO HIT THE FEELS!!! GODS, THIS IS SO GOOOOOOD!!! MY HEART CANT TAKE THE AMOUNT OF EMOTIONS THIS IS IS GIVING ME!!! Thank you, for this hopeful chapter.
As someone that went through years of abuse, I can honestly say that I enjoyed this chapter. The words that you grow up hearing take a while to go away, but with the help of friends and family they can. Was this a simplistic watered down version, yes. It was still better then 90% of the overblown crap I've read elsewhere. You treated this respectfully and had the courage to try. Good Job, I look forward to what you write next.
Aww!!!!! Great character building.
This chapter is a really good character development if I ever saw one.
For a diamond to truly shine, it must first be broken (well, cut, but that's just a very directed breaking). It looks to me like Diamond Tiara is really making progress through that particular process. Still a ways to go, perhaps, but she has passed the nadir.
Looking forward to D3 where Diamond takes that diamond and grinds it into something extra beautiful.
banjo i know what its like to have an abusive mother i know what it feels like for some to treat you as person or even as a living thing to be completely worthless. i have to say that when my life was like this i felt nothing but anger for everyone and everything around me. finally it got so bad that i not only hated myself i loathed myself to the point that didn't care what happened to me. what finally got out of that pit is when my "mother" (as a means of getting rid of me) decided to send me to a boys home while their i learned to no longer hate myself. to this day what she did to me still affects me i still don't care about what happens to me but i focus on helping the people around me to try and make their lives better in some way. i understand where diamond is coming from and i'm glad that she has found herself worth, not everyone is that lucky, i wish her the best of luck and hope that her life doesn't end up in another pit.
Fair point.
Also fair.
Oh boy. I think you hit a nerve there.
You're a good pony, Silver Spoon.
Well, it's a step in the right direction.
Knowing isn't the same as believing. Indeed. Silver has wise words.
Alright, Diamond, since you compare yourself to the refused unit you saved, just wait until you start refining it!
I'd say you're handling the topic quite well. Wonderfully heartfelt subplot. Looking forward to the next step of Diamond's journey.
As someone on unemployment benefits, so many feels I share with her.
I'm not crying. My eyes are just melting from the heat
Damn my feels
This version of Spoiled Rich and the above quote have me 100% convinced that she has NPD in some way shape or form. For those that might be unaware this stands for Narcissistic Personality Disorder and is a particularly nasty personality disorder where the person in question has a hyper inflated sense of self that can come across in ways such as feelings of superiority, inability to feel empathy, demanding constant attention and praise, and so forth. Here's a link to Mayo Clinic article about it if you like me are curious to know more.Mayo Clinic- NPD
To Banjo, you did not set out to write a shall we say "diagnostic piece" nor a heart rending drama, you set out to do a quasi-comedic adventure AU story with dashes of other stuff for added "flavor". With this in mind, you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of regarding how you wrote the Diamond Tiara subplot, was it somewhat sparse on details, yes, but I don't think having more details would have really affected how it was already a metaphorical punch in the gut. I truly believe that you did do justice to a highly difficult subject. You are but one person and abuse such as this is a ginormous thing that takes a myriad of forms you couldn't possibly hope to do 100% clinical accuracy. As far as I'm concerned anyone who takes serious umbrage to what you wrote and are writing are most likely among the vocal minority who cry fowl for anything and everything that is not up to their unrealistic "standards". That being said I would be remiss if I didn't leave some constructive feedback. You have created a strange and wonderful world and the only noticeable thing that detracts from it are spelling and grammar issues that are a bit more frequent than can normally be ignored. I am a fairly easy to please reader so perhaps getting someone who has the critical eye for such things would be worth looking into as I tend to ignore most issues or quickly forget about them. Also, I did think the scene where Applebloom ran afoul of the wood chipper was a bit too gruesome I am not a super squeamish person when it comes to b&g (I survived Fallout Equestria so perhaps that boosted my tolerance if you will) but given the overall tone of your story it was a bit too much.
Keep up the good work.
P.S. Sorry if this comment falls into TL/DR territory I sometimes have issues being able to paraphrase my thoughts.
Atta girl, Di. You're out of the muck, now. Just keep climbing!!
That's dedication right there.
I wonder if Diamond realizes that the diamonds in the shop were crafted into perfection and that the diamond she has is in its purest form.
To craft a gem from a rough diamond, one must first identify the flawless core and cut away the rest.
And so clearly this means... (Alondro ties DT to a table and begins cutting parts he believes flawed off her body... and this is why we don't let Alondro use metaphors)
as someone who was abused as a kid I think you did a great job. I greatly relate to diamond, cause even though you know that the abuse was not your fault you still feel like it is your fault. like if you were more this or that then things would have come out differently. And the truth is you are not responsible for the choices of people who have hurt you.
thank you for voicing your concerns, you are doing a great job with diamonds journey.
Wonderful chapter. Pulled at my heartstrings it did. I feel like you gave diamond the best friend she needed. The kind of friend one would want and need in a heart breaking situation, especially one like that.
9748126
At least I think it was I mean the chanflings are now public knowledge and since there both a part of scootaloos life then. It makes sense they would be in the papers about it
"Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue."
You did just fine on this chapter. It was done really well.
I understand the sentiment put forth in your Author's Notes. These things are hard to write, and there is always that doubt in your mind whether you handled it properly. The fact that you are worried about it and are making pains to make sure you get it right means that few people will actually take issue with it. The effort translates well into results, as imperfect as it seems from a writer's perspective. Some of my best writing was 80% accidental.
But that sort of thing should be reserved for if someone comments about it. Otherwise, it just makes readers look back to see if they can find things wrong with it. It makes you seem uncertain about your writing ability, and therefore can make readers start to believe you, even if the skill is there. Worse, if I was reading this more than one chapter at a time, it brings me out of the story to look at it critically rather than enjoying it as it is.
In my own stories, I have recently stopped writing Author's Notes for similar reasons. While I am exited to share things or anxious about what I have just posted, much of the content I would normally put into one are better served either in the eventuality of a reader asking a question, or a blog post for those truly interested.
(I'm not saying you have to do any of this, but I like giving advice.)
Undead Robot Bug Crusaders!
Undead Robot Bug Crusaders!
Undead Robot Bug Crusaders!
All the world is strange now! (Pony Power!)
They don't know if they're still called CMC's! (Well, you come up with a better name!)
They're small and cute and sometimes chased by bees! (That was one time!)Don't
They're friends with Bird and Bear! (We're explorers. You mean exploders.)
And now they don't get tree sap hair! (Thankfully, darling!)
Undead Robot Bug Crusaders
Undead Robot Bug Crusaders
Now they want to help with destiny! (Cutie marks are srs business)
Scootaloo's a bee, and Sweetie's a machine! (The correct term is Thaumaugmetically enhanced.)
Bloom's cursed to smell like that! (I bathe, dadgummit!)
And Babs Seed is the mom of bats! (Wait, whut?)
Undead Robot Bug Crusaders
Undead Robot Bug Crusaders
Undead Robot Bug Crusaders!
All the world is strange now! (Pony power!)
"Uhh, you know we didn't need our own theme song, raight?"
"Especially a duo with Twitch."
"My sensors are bleeding. We didn't need a six minute sousaphone solo."
"Well, where's the fun in that?" * pronks away *
wonderful updates!I cannot wait to read more
9781196
Applebloom, she’s the leader, dude! She might be dead, but she’ll pull you through!(What would I be pulling you through?)
Sweetie Belle, she’s an awesome machine!(Android!)
And Scootaloo’s the best bug of the team!(Only bug on the team.)
Baaaaaabs~! She’s one of a kind! She became part bat after a mix in time!(Wait, what?)
Together they make a messy, besty, stressy, ‘credible team!(That doesn’t flow very well...)
Undead Robot Bug Crusaders
Undead Robot Bug Crusaders
Undead Robot Bug Crusaders
“Great... Now everypony’s doing it.”
“It IS catchy.”
“More like annoying!”
“Just make Twitch stop singing...”
We both tried
Dang, that chapter actually kinda hit me hard.
As someone who has dealt with issues of self-worth, losing hope and difficult family relationships, I really appreciate your writing of Diamond.
It's her willingness to change that makes me love her. She's still in a rough spot, and is still rough around the edges, but she's getting there.
You've done a fantastic job.
"They were silent for a while, just holding each other tight as Diamond Tiara continued to cry. But now Silver Spoon could see that Diamond’s wasn’t shedding tears just because of her despair anymore. She was crying because she’d managed to find a small glimmer of hope."
Man, buck you for making me tear up while I'm reading this at work... cause I understand this feeling so well. Not just the general idea of finding a "small glimmer of hope" - which is powerful on its own - but also, knowing one's own worth yet struggling to believe it, and the feeling that comes with knowing that someone thinks you're worth saving from the trash pile. As someone who has survived (and overcome) significant childhood abuse that had far-reaching effects long into adulthood, I am extremely pleased with (honored by?) how you've written Diamond's growth journey, and I feel incredibly seen. Your insight into the
humanpony experience is the touchstone of an excellent writer.11640746
Actually, I have to say, your O&O chapter showed a similar insight, since you claim to have never played D&D but you clearly have a good grasp of how TTRPG players operate....
I've always had a soft spot for DT after her reformation. She deserved way more attention once she was trying to be better. This chapter made me cry. This kind of self discovery is what she really needed.