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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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10114536
I hope your enjoying the story thus far. But, and as weird as it sounds, if I've managed to evoke an emotional response with my story, that definitely makes me feel good about my writing over all. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those people that intentionally tugs on heartstrings to troll and be a jerk. But in this scenario, and everything that happens because of it, it felt right for the story.
And, I'm not even gonna lie, it was rough to write too the first time. Then the rewrites and edits and going over it repeatedly was like getting a speedbag treatment on my feels.
Very satisfying chapter. it was nice to see Handy in a situation where he isn't a dick around Gearing, and see him interact more normally with other ponies. It's obvious that Handy in naturally incline to be selfish/self-centered, but I chock it off that he is just not aware of other ponies needs or forgets to take it into account needs or will take advantage of an offer or gift if it present itself to him, and forgetting the courtesy to reciprocate the gesture in kind. His suspicions toward others seems to stems of that same idea where he projects/expect this same reasoning as he does from ponies will take advantage/exploit him if given the chance, so he has to preemptively do the same before they does. His critical thinking seems to be limited to 'what is in it for me' kind of attitude, while nowhere near as bad as raiders and slavers, does color his perception of the world a lot, and if ponies reacting outside of the framework it just means that he can't seem what is their angle and is trying to just him in some manner, which ends up being a self perpetuating loop of reasoning, which is hard to break especially sense most of the wasteland thinks the same way. I wonder where he learned to repair all of the sophisticated equipment that he uses?
I did like giving the family that BJ butchered in a mission with the Enclave an actually back story to them in showing how they were before the the raider descise too hold of them. We had the chance to see their history, their struggles their hopes and dreams, and witness the tragedy that the Enclave had intentionally made their land unbearable for crops, and and gave them the tainted food as to test the plague on them and their descent into madness. I am not sure if I catches that any of Gearing's group actually eat the tainted apples. It was a heartwarming and tragic story knowing what would be their faith in this.
For Dandy, being pregnant that was a surprise that she got pregnant from Gearing, being metal and all at the moment, Looks like you decided not to follow the ponyfinder method in hoe clockwork ponies procreate.
Still it was a great chapter and helped to better understand their own personality without being overshadowed by Gearing, keep it up.
10115414
I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter! And, yes, I think you're grasping Handy's thought process very well. And it's very telling to his personality. I'm glad that's coming across as I've intended. I mean, there's even more specifics to it that'll get more light shined on it as time progresses, but it's in the right area.
As for the family being referenced *Taps on own nose* bingo. I'd thought many times about that whole scene and how there was just so much potential to learn about them, while help enriching the world as a whole. There were so many facets of them that I wanted to bring in, while keeping the chapter entertaining, and at the same time helping to push the story / plot along: That's why this is the biggest chapter I've released thus far. And, from my perspective, adding so much depth to the characters, and with how the reader will [if they've read PH] know their eventual fate, it makes the level of atrocity that was committed so much more damning. Because they were good ponies. Caring ponies. And they didn't deserve it.
As far as the food, no, you didn't miss anything. None of the three ate any the food that was prepared that night for the same reason: they knew how in need the family had been already, and weren't exactly starving themselves. So they all made their own excuses for why they didn't want to. And Dandy's led down an entirely new rabbit hole.
But, as an aside, I did have a couple ways this could have gone and I thought about it repeatedly to make sure I was going to go the correct route given how I know the characters actually are. Including Handy and / or Dandy eating and everyone having to deal with the consequences of that. And this was the one I eventually went with. Because, as with practically everything in this story, it's going to have repercussions later on.
As for Dandy, actually, she's NOT pregnant. That's why Swift keeps teasing her about it. [Swift can be a butthead sometimes with her pranks, but she's not exceedingly cruel. If she thought at all there was a chance that Dandy was actually pregnant, she wouldn't be acting that way.] She's doing it because how ridiculous she thinks Dandy is being. That and Honeysuckle accidentally opened the door to that particular line of teasing, so Swift just couldn't help herself. Not even Handy believes it and his response to Swift simultaneously lets you know that he still basically considers Gearing a machine with his phrasing of calling Gearing a "that".
A quick explanation of Dandy's deal with this so it's in 1 spot: Her hooves were simply sore because of all the walking and running she'd been doing that day. She'd claimed to be nauseous, just to get out of feeling guilty about taking food from ponies in need. But the sudden question out of the blue [from her perspective, but given Honeysuckle's history it makes since] threw her off completely. Since, as she's talked about a few times, getting pregnant would be like the worst thing for her currently. So the constant over pampering from the Roots family, and the apparent further confirmations from Swift, just made her extremely anxious about the possibility. Which, as sometimes happens when dealing with a massive amount of sudden stress, actually caused her to start feeling nauseous. And that realization just seemed to be further evidence that they might be right, which just started a whole cycle of further worry for Dandy. [Basically became a self fulfilling prophesy nausea wise.]
So, Dandy's not pregnant, but currently being the target of some mind game based pranks from Swift for her own amusement.
This was a really fun chapter. I really enjoyed getting to know the Root family. Unfortunately , while it has been over a year since I read PH, i thought i remembered the family. Excellent job with them.
Now as per Dandy, oh I have done similar things to both males and females in the same situation. But with so many malfunctions going on still for Gearing, I thought perhaps he may have made that slip by accident. That would have further explained his behavior and attitude.
10116228
I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. I tried to include as many references as I could so readers could actually figure out who they were, and I'm glad I seem to have done a good job with that. Because, yeah, it's THAT family.
For the Gearing / Dandy situation, Gearing is actually MOSTLY correct about everything regarding the curse and reproduction possibilities. Since he flat refused to have anything to do with it before, he doesn't know some of the nuances, and indeed there's been more discovered since his time as a youth by other clockworks. But, the sticking point of being entirely unable to reproduce while in his metal form, is correct. It's physically impossible.
I recognize, and I'm pretty sure, this is really different from the clockwork character type from the Ponyfinder verse. Because, from the wording, it seems like clockworks in that verse can have offspring with OTHER clockworks, but they can't with a flesh and blood pony without first getting away from the curse for a bit. But, like a lot of things, I changed away from that inspiration source for the cannon of Clockwork Precision for sense making reasons. So, in short, if Gearing's butt is still golden, he's got nothing to worry about in the foaling department.
10117852
Actually the clockworks could have offspring from other flesh tribes of ponies, which the pregnancy process is apparently very painful for flesh mares, even mares can be impregnated by a clockwork stallion, but only on the day of the fertility festival.. It is also guaranteed that the foal will be a born as clockwork, no matter what. One of the major weakness of a clockwork is that the link of their souls to their bodies are a lot more tenuous, so any magic that can affect the souls will have a much more devastating effects on them, so zebra shamans would have an easy time dealing with a clockwork; also have a mush rarer chance to be reincarnated by spells, and even then it will be a pony of flesh. Hope this helps a little.
10119795
Right, that's what I meant by "...without first getting away from the curse for a bit". That they HAVE to go through the ceremony first to even have a possibility of having kids.
And as far as being weak to soul effects and magics, yeah, that's definitely true. Their body is definitely physically resilient, but it has its drawbacks for sure. But, yeah, there's definitely differences between the Clockwork Precision verse and Ponyfinder. Like there's no such thing as a resurrection spell. No wish, greater wise, etc. Death is quite permanent, despite how many times Blackjack narrowly avoided it, and especially in my stories.
Nopony is safe. :)
10121440
LOL! Yeah, that sums it up pretty well, I think. :)
As for the abrupt lengthy flashback scene/ chapters, yeah, it posed a few problems for me with it's execution. There was a lot of information I wanted to get across to the reader so certain things would start making sense as the story went on, because it simply doesn't come up in the current time for a long while. Also to plant seeds of tidbits of information for later relevance / reference. That slightly jarring sudden jump was the best solution I could think of for the effect of it being just as jarring for Gearing. Might be risking a slight spoiler for you, atm depending on how far you've gotten, but it's not really one you wouldn't figure out / wouldn't see coming given how it's been presented, but Gearing experiences another loss of time / time jump form his perspective because of this.
10124825
Yeah, I know right? I mean, I realize that some may see Gearing's take on it as being controlling or trying to force his will on others/ not taking their ideas into consideration, but HE'S the experienced pilot, and from the perspective of an experienced pilot/driver, inexperienced back seat drivers need to shut up and let him do his job.
10125079
As far as if and When Handy is going to get killed / die, without giving any spoilers one way or the other, the only thing I can really say is that NOPONY / nocreature is safe in my story. I don't believe in plot armor. So if their actions would logically lead to getting themselves killed, I have no problem with that happening.
Granted that means I have to sort out what the story is going to do with the change in cast after that point, but it's a burden I'm willing to bear for the sake of the story making sense and maintaining tension. After all, if they have invincible plot armor, you never have to worry about them and you don't automatically know certain outcomes just because one individual is senior invincible.
Relatedly, I think from where you are in the story, over the course of the next few chapters my point in that realm my become evident as true. };-)
10125656
10125079
While I do agree Handy is a real ass a lot of the time, I would agree that Gearing should let in on his team mates of his plans activities and their there is more at stake for Handy and the rest of the team when he just gallivanting off and do vigilant justice attracting a lot of unwanted attention on to team the stable, and especially the foals living inside it. Gearing, while doing admirable job, in killing very bad ponies, the fact that he actually seeks them out, with not relation to the needs of the stable of the them, couple along with the sheer casual easy he can perform his mission parameters, which rarely seems to aline with their own, I would agree in Handy's POV that he could turn on them in a second if he actually viewed them as a threat or just tick them off enough. As stupid and misguided as it is, Handy is expressing his worries about Gearing's general lack of communication in his plans, he makes unilateral decisions for everyone in the heat of the moment, and make him look like a control freak and place him as not a leader but as a despot who will just order others around, if he actually decided that they don't work well enough along. On top of that, there would be absolutely nothing to stop or restrain Gearing from taking over the stable, as he seems nearly unkillable in their eyes, and their is nothing that could counter balance his power and influence if the group doesn't agree with him. Handy wants/needs as tangible reassurance that Gearing won't want make snap decisions for everyone, he want at least a semblance of sway in how things should go, as suborn and hypocrite as he is, he is used to do things his way and he doesn't want do be controlled by anyone, and sure doesn't want to give that up without a fight.
10126380
Oh yeah, I totally agree. From Handy's perspective Gearing's an uncontrollable piece of equipment, and given everything else they've been through that'd be a valid concern. Especially in the wastes. Murderous bots with damaged combat inhibitors or following faulty logic based orders. Synths. Etc. There is a lot of danger in not knowing what something is going to do. And it's really despairing if, compounded on top of that, the thing seems to be practically unstoppable. Very valid reasons for being worried from his perspective.
But in this instance, what me and Harts Fire are referring to, Handy's definitely having a manic moment with some seriously flawed logic, which it will be delved into WHY his thinking ability seems to be increasingly flawed: much later on [even though it's already been hinted at within the current chapters]. I mean you don't simply start screaming at a pilot and try to micromanage their chosen flight path mid flight without a real good reason. Flight of manticores or dragons on your tail? Sure, that's info they'd be glad to know about. But ranting about a perceived threat that's already been proven to be not a problem [because if they were within range, and it could, they would have been zapped already if what Handy was worried about were present], that's a different story. His actions were odd to say the least and not really what a rational individual would do.
But that's kind of the point, and it helped to illustrate a bit of Handy's current mental state.
10126459
hum, I would guess that either Handy was intentionally trying to get Gearing killed knowing that raiders were in the area, or there are shady dealing s with someone that we don't know about and that is stressing him out. I wouldn't automatically say that it is the raider plague.
10127247
Yeaaah... I'm not ashamed to admit, I was kinda proud of myself for fitting in that reference while twisting it at the same time. :)