Well, a new story to track for this year

Apparently maverick is immune to cyanide.

Alright, this looks interesting. I'll give it a shot.

There were a few typos here and there, but nothing too terrible or distracting, so that was nice, but there was one thing that was incredibly distracting. You frequently slipped into present tense--often mid sentence, or even just for a single word out of a sentence--and it got progressively worse the longer the chapter went on. If you only fix one thing before moving on to the next chapter, that should be it.

9401033
I went through the story and fixed whatever I saw. Sorry about that. I was drunk and impatient so this never got to my editor when I posted it. If you see anything else, please let me know.

Did you just put an operator from the game rainbow six siege into mlp and turn it into a clopfic??

I... I can't do this...
I can stand OwO what's this with maverick but for fucks sake don't do clopifcs about him!!

9401208
I'm not sure if I should be glad to tell you this or not, but I'm not even sure what 'Rainbow Six Siege' is...

9401656
Ok good, just didn't read it yet because i thought that it was going to be from that... I'll give it a read now...

Honestly, not terrible on the "subtle RGRE" front. Having the roles shown via the way they are treated rather than the over blown "stallions are delicate little flowers and it's a crime to hurt their anything!" Or "poor stallion hasn't had his dick sucked, we should all freely service them whenever!" statements. A simple bit of hesitation and reluctance to treat them roughly with some minor favoritism towards the more attractive stallions, maybe some unspoken rules holding mares back from actually hitting stallions even of they might get really angry with them.

Maybe a few of the more edgy mares talking about how "they don't care if it's a stallion or not, someone hitting them gets hit back" or some other things that spotlights how "shocking" or "contraversal" someone hurting stallions physically is. Don't flood the story with them, but slip one or two overt displays in every few chapters and otherwise keep it all in the subtle ways they interact such as who is going just a little bit more out of their way to appease the other.

Another one i just thought of would be how a mare might not want to really touch a stallion's clothes without permission and that going through them would be kind of a "creepy" taboo plus the idea of a stallion wearing a mare's sweater strikes me as a pretty hilarious yet clever way to lampshade the whole RGRE theme though and I would tremendously approved of such a display. There is also the more subtle rules about how and where you're allowed to look at stallions vs mares and whether or not it's considered creepy or flirting, especially if you play off the idea that shorter mares would be near eye level with a human crotch.

Am enjoying the set up. can't wait to explore the world you created.

His name's Maverick? Like Maverick form rainbow six: Siege? This Maverick?
ubistatic19-a.akamaihd.net/resource/en-us/game/rainbow6/siege-v3/r6-operator-maverick_332731.png

9410341
As addressed in a previous comment on this very chapter, I have no idea what Rainbow Six Siege even is.

9410392
Video game, he is a character the player can choose to play as. Another story had a character named Buck but also went by Blackbeard, both of wich are also characters within the game. Maverick is a call sign however and his real name is Erik Thorn.

9410693
I picked the name Maverick because of the meaning of the word 'Maverick'

9410900
Ok, no big deal. Like the story though.

9400811
Apple pips do not contain cyanide they contain amygdalin which releases cyanide when it is digested. It takes about 144 pips in one sitting to create a fatal dose which is about 18 apples. Maverick will be fine.

9400811
I've eaten apple cores my entire life and I'm...I'm mostly fine XP