Ghost Alvasa
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Alright. Tracking.
This looks good
I'll give this a chance but honestly, Canterlot Wedding stories are almost as bad as Anon-a-miss stories in my opinion. I just pray this doesn't go down the route of demonizing everyone just to make Twilight more sympathetic.
Although the actions of the gods don't give me much hope in that regard.
Favorited and ready to enjoy the future chapters.
Is Twilight going to be a Faunus in this story or human?
9351641
It says as much right in the description.
I like were this is going so tracking and fav can't wait for more
Ok. I'm very interested. I hope you update soon. I'm curious what Twilight's semblence will be, what her weapon of choice will be, and how she meets her new family.
9351641
The description says she'll be a Faunus.
Okay. Good start so far but I have some questions.
1. Will Sunset Shimmer be in this and will she be friend or foe?
2. What will Twilight's weapon and Semblance be?
3. Are we going to see a Huntress Twilight Sparkle deliver a righteous beatdown on Queen Chrysalis or Princess Celestia? Or both? (Please be both.)
9351809
All good questions
"The" Tai Yang? It's Taiyang. And where did the the come from?
9351844
Could you at least answer the Sunset Shimmer one plz? (She's my favorite character in MLP.)
Not really sure how this got featured, and not sure if I want to read it...
On the one hand, it's a RWBY crossover with Twilight. On the other... well, there's the fact that this seems to be a character replacement fic. Am I wrong in that regard and Twilight ends up as like, the third sibling to Ruby and Yang? Or does she just replace Ruby? Because if it's the latter, that's an immediate hard pass from me.
9351963
Twilight is adopted into the family
Hm... okay, gave it a small look through. The English seems clunky in a few places, but overall serviceable. The characterization is... fine. I can see a depressed and/or despondent Twilight imagining a lot of the same things she thinks in this chapter, if only because the show was really bad about them actually learning anything from their experiences. However, the two gods of Remnant... I get that it's a plot point to get this story moving, but they seem a bit... too convenient. The whole "You're too good for this world" thing they bring up is weird and really doesn't sound like anything a god would say, let alone a god of darkness, whose canonical drive was to destroy everything.
I may read more, and see if it gets better. But as it is right now, it's kinda so-so.
So far I'm intrigued. It's not too bad, and kept my interest. The next couple chapters will determine if I stay with it.
Could you have Twilight leave a few letters to her family and exteacher and friends?
So they're going to send her to a world where the forces of good are fighting a losing battle, where holding the line is the best they can hope for and humanity is continually on the verge of being overrun by demons?
Yes, she'll probably make friends and there's camaraderie between the teams and so on, but still...if Twilight was too good for Equestria she'll be a pearl among swine in Remnant.
I don't tend to be a fan of Canterlot Wedding Accusation fics, for reasons which I'm afraid are all on display here...but I'm still going to follow this story anyway because it's a RWBY crossover and I want to see what happens now that we're past the instigating incident and getting into the meat of the story in Remnant.
you mean want to change the description a bit, mostly these two
They pity the young mare and ask her if she'd like a chance to start over in a new world.
Accepting their offer Twilight steps through an old mirror and is transported to Remnant as a faunus where she is adopted by the Xiao Long-Rose family
anyway looking forward to the next chapter
also you should have the gods appear and verbally rip Celestia, her friends and brother a new one
Hope we have the reactions of the equestrians
9352548
maybe her presence will change things
Twilight actually don't know anything about the imposter. Her whole accusation against "Cadance" in the episode is "she’s demanding", "she's rude" and "she doesn't deserve Shining Armor". It's the reasons why no one takes her seriously - because she sounds and behaves like a jealous little sister.
9352831
exactly, so many stories ignore this detail. It's why I hate these type of stories they tend to force the drama by acting like Twilight was right but nobody believes her when in reality she wasn't right which is why nobody believed her.
i started with intrig now you have my curiosity
Admittedly, I kinda got bored of Wedding circlejerking fics. Both parties were wrong in certain ways, yeah, but it got resolved and everyone was okay at the end. A Twilight on Remnant story? THAT is why I showed up.
I've seen SAPR featured many times, but haven't yet found it interesting enough to want to read it, despite having my favorite character in it. This, however, drew me in immediately. Perhaps Chrysalis succeeds in taking over Equestria but finds a way to travel to Remnant?
Twilight's depressed existentialism is believable. It's hard to think well of someone when you've convinced yourself they've just been disguising their selfishness the whole time.
9351694
Ooh, yes. I'm going to guess her weapon will be a book, which we haven't seen used as a weapon in RWBY yet. Not sure yet what weapon it'll transform into. Her semblence might be telekinesis, if we want to go the easy route
9352976
Technically Twilight was still right, from a meta perspective where we know Chrysalis was pretending to be Cadance the whole time.
9351592
Canterlot Wedding and Anon-A-Miss stories are only as good as the writer writing them. Alternate universes aside, in both cases, we're somewhat limited by the canon material in what we can write and still be canon-compliant. That's the challenging part.
9353360
You should definitely check out SAPR it is by far the RWBY crossover story to beat.
Honestly, I don't mind when it's just used as an excuse to launch Twilight off to another realm but I greatly prefer when Twilight is forcibly banished to another realm rather than having her freely choose to leave, just because what happened at the wedding isn't really a good enough reason to abandon everyone. After all, if she truly thought something was wrong she wouldn't just give up and leave everyone to die.
If you want me to sympathize with Twilight having her do things that make her seem like a child throwing a tantrum is a poor way to do it in my opinion.
9353380
I've had SAPR (which I just realized after reading one of the comments might be pronounced "sapphire") in my Read Later since it came out, and just read the first chapter. It's definitely better than I expected it to be, and as such will be reading these two concurrently lol
As for the Anon-A-Miss part, I guess I just have something against disliking potentially good stories just because it's Anon-A-Miss. I'm currently following one (Why? A Tale of Anon-A-Miss by wiccanminnesota) that reads like a soap opera that adds so much to the narrative that makes the Anon-A-Miss scenario much darker. It's a bit choppy at first that may discourage some readers, but eventually gets so good it's worth it.
9351994
Good. Ruby is my favorite character in the show. Ruby is best girl.
I like the addition of Tukson in this chapter. Wasn't expecting it, but I guess Twilight would need someone to feed her insatiable love of books.
9353380
9353394
Another RWBY-crossover that I really like, but wish would get an update soon, is The Tale of Team SASA, pronounced "salsa". It is a post-Anon-a-miss story where Sunset and the Sirens somehow were transported to Remnant after seeing a video. It's really good, and before SAPR, was tthe RWBY fic to beat.
9353458
Yeah, but unfortunately, we know what happens to him in cannon. May he Rest In Peace.
No reason for that to be here.
Aside from that, looking good so far.
Good update can't wait for more
9353464
*adds to read later*
Ha! Inuyasha reference!
Loved this chapter. It was adorable!
9353600
Yay, someone caught that
Okay, I'm getting more and more leery of this story already. First off, the English still needs work. I might recommend asking for help around this site. I know there's a few groups out there that help with editing/grammar/spelling and whatnot for people who either aren't very good at English or don't have the time to comb through for mistakes.
Second, there was a lot of... rather unnecessary details throughout the chapter, such as Twilight feeling jealous of Yang or of her somehow remembering that rather long "sentence" that one of the gods told her. I get the amnesia bit. It's rather plausible for the situation, and otherwise I would have been fine leaving it as just a story detail for the sake of the plot. But that line... something seems wrong about it, like it was made needlessly excessive. Maybe that's just me. It just feels off somehow.
And after that, we get to the rushed campy family scene. Before and after discovering Twilight. All the "Okay daddy" and "Yes sweethearts" just seem over the top and out of place for the setting. Sure, Taiyang would dote the living hell out of his daughters, but the excess amount of it just seems... well, it's a terrible word to use for it, but the best word I can use in this case is tryhard. Like you're trying extra hard to get us to fall for this "sappy family moment" that just feels out of place for a RWBY fic.
I'll be honest, I ended up skipping the entire second half of the chapter. Once I saw it going down the predictable path of "I don't want to be a bother to you, sir" followed shortly by "you're no trouble at all. Besides, my daughters could use a friend (Even though they do socialize normally with other kids their age already, but we'll pretend you're special like that)" and finally a quick and completely skipped adoption into the family, I quickly lost interest in what happened next. I'm a big fan of character interaction, and when said interaction (In chapters where most of the content is going to be just that rather than action scenes or emotional reveals) is... well, garbage, I have no real reason to stick around.
9353965
you really should if you want more details on what's going on
9354050
Indeed but that’s just one voice easy to ignore.
Really enjoying this so far! Can't wait for the next bit!
9354050
The thing is, I'm not entirely sure if I want to know at this point. Story details are good and all, but if the underlying foundation for the story isn't good, it becomes a chore to read rather than an enjoyable experience. Take the Twilight book for example. On the surface, I bet people would really love the concept of it. A supernatural war between vampires and werewolves? Sounds like something a lot of people would find enjoyable. But because the author wrote it in such a way that it's basically a self insert romance with a main character that's as dry/bland as cardboard, it kills a lot of enthusiasm anybody could really find for it. Sure, some people do enjoy it (And some of those just for the sheer cringe of it), but there's a reason it's become a meme.
Bear in mind, I'm not saying your story is the Twilight of RWBY fics. That was just an example. But I still feel like it could be done better; polished up, if you will.
9354321
So because I want to enjoy the story and am pointing out what I see as flaws that could be fixed, I should be ignored? Rather naive of you. I'm not asking them to change the entire story to fit my preferences. I'm simply stating where I found things could have been done better, in my own opinion. And based on some of the other comments, I'm not the only one feeling this way.
Honestly, really liking the story so far. Not a big fan of the Canterlot Wedding part, but I can understand why you did it. I didn't really notice any errors that were glaring to me, keep it up.
9354450
Not my point. You are one voice. You are easy to drown out. It’s crap but it’s true. And where you saw flaws I saw none, I came off as cold and I apologize for that.
I take it Twilight doesn't know about Raven? She and Yang have more in common than you might think.
I'm a little worried about the amnesia and de-aging, to be honest; I don't know what you're planning but it has the potential to reboot Twilight's character until she isn't really Twilight any more (unless you go for extreme Nature over Nurture and argue that her personality was determined from birth).
9354985
the plan is not a complete reboot but not a total shift in personality either
Okay so this was turned into a mature fic...
i can only guess we have some fun coming our way.
9356930
maybe