- Member Since 15th Feb, 2018
- offline last seen May 5th
Aweirdassguy
I typically try not to be rude or condescending, but if I do come off sounding that way then I’m sorry.
Aweirdassguy
Joined 15th Feb, 2018 ·
Offline
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.078 seconds
Total duration
1,017 users online
102,564 hits today, 1,870,739 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Hmm... interesting headcanon.
This was surprisingly intense. I don't have time to point out everything, but you're missing a few words, and some words are misspelled. Other than that, great job.
9408523
derpicdn.net/img/2018/8/31/1820890/large.png
1820890
WOW so great. Wonderful pacing and word choice.👍
I just read your story, and I gotta say...
This was a dark, emotional, and awesome read!
You’ve definitely earned this comment, like, and fave I have given you.
There were a few errors that I found in the story, really. Ones that I will gladly point out:
The ‘our’ in that sentence should instead be ‘out’.
Here’s a remake of that sentence:
As soon as Twilight was gone, leaving me as headmare, I had returned to my office to gather a few things to aid in my temporary role. But, not two seconds after I had stepped back out into the hall, something collided with the back of my head and I was unconscious before I even knew what had happened.
The ‘to’ that is between ‘little’ and ‘hard’ should instead be ‘too’.
A recommendation to make it more natural for her:
"Cozy? What's going on? What did you do?!" I was getting very nervous.
The word ‘get’s’ should instead be ‘gets’.
The ‘in’ that is between ‘shoved’ and ‘in’ should instead be ‘it’.
The ‘my’ in between ‘pushed’ and ‘towards’ should instead be ‘me’.
I recommend placing the word ‘have’ between ‘to’ and ‘everyone’.
The word ‘place’ should instead be ‘placed’.
The word ‘gives’ should be ‘gave’. To prevent the sentence from moving into the present tense, unlike the others which are past tense.
Replace ‘Everything;’ with ‘Everything:’.
I think the ‘I’d’ should instead be ‘I had’. To make things more specific. I also recommend putting a ‘Before this,’, before the ‘I had’.
Again, the ‘I’d’ should instead be an ‘I had’.
Other than the errors, I deeply enjoyed reading this and found it to be something worth my time.
9560792
Thanks! I appreciate the fave and the feedback. I'm just sorry that my spellchecker doesn't work half the time and that I'm terrible at catching mistakes.
9561191
No problem.
9409796
Woah, I did not expect that, honestly I didn’t think Spike was even going to be mentioned. Can you tell me why you think that Starlight has a hidden crush on Spike?(I love that ship btw)
10563810
I'll be honest, I kinda just like the idea of it :P. I think they're cute together and I'm a bit of a hypershipper.
10567947
I like it too, I ship it so much.