1063336 although this fic is hawt as hell im kinda undecided on celestia as a charactor, is she gonna become nicer or is she just gonna get more abusive?
It's a pity, really. You're doing a really good job with creating a horrible take on the Twi/Celly dynamic, fleshing out Celestia as a more realistic predator than a cardboard cutout villain...
... And then you drown it all in way-too-lovingly-crafted kiddy porn. I mean, I can see the point of including it - it drives home Celestia's monstrous behaviour, and Twilight's reactions to it are pretty key to the story. I dunno - less porn-lit focus on mechanical action, more on the psychological progression (stuff like how Celestia's mood whiplashed as soon as she had Twilight helpless) might help? Because right now, it reads less like 'and here's a horrible thing that happened' and more like 'I'm getting a look into this guy's porn stash, and it involves disturbing amounts of foal-fucking'.
1063405 I don't plan on her getting too terrible, no. Nothing too horribly graphic is going to happen to Twi, because I wouldn't be interested in writing that.
I like the gothic atmosphere of it. The 1000 year old monster moping around her castle with only a servant for company, and the weird little filly that is trying to figure out her part in it all. Except, instead of crypts, satan worship or deformities, you have pedophilia to provide the shock value, which is a much better modernization than whatever this shit was. I approve.
this chapter wa a little confusing....
is it upposed to imply that celestia is redeemable or that she's not?
either way its still hawt
1063324
My main goal was simply to have the reader pity her.
1063336 although this fic is hawt as hell im kinda undecided on celestia as a charactor, is she gonna become nicer or is she just gonna get more abusive?
It's a pity, really. You're doing a really good job with creating a horrible take on the Twi/Celly dynamic, fleshing out Celestia as a more realistic predator than a cardboard cutout villain...
... And then you drown it all in way-too-lovingly-crafted kiddy porn. I mean, I can see the point of including it - it drives home Celestia's monstrous behaviour, and Twilight's reactions to it are pretty key to the story. I dunno - less porn-lit focus on mechanical action, more on the psychological progression (stuff like how Celestia's mood whiplashed as soon as she had Twilight helpless) might help? Because right now, it reads less like 'and here's a horrible thing that happened' and more like 'I'm getting a look into this guy's porn stash, and it involves disturbing amounts of foal-fucking'.
1063405
I don't plan on her getting too terrible, no. Nothing too horribly graphic is going to happen to Twi, because I wouldn't be interested in writing that.
1063419
You have to admit, it's better then poorly written kiddy porn.
1063484 true dat
1063484
http://i46.tinypic.com/f1be5e.png
wow very well written im so confused
... I'll take it.
I like the gothic atmosphere of it. The 1000 year old monster moping around her castle with only a servant for company, and the weird little filly that is trying to figure out her part in it all.
Except, instead of crypts, satan worship or deformities, you have pedophilia to provide the shock value, which is a much better modernization than whatever this shit was.
I approve.
OK I love the story but there's so many mounebtese I'm just like what the hell am I reading but still it's a good story