Rondo
Pinkie nodded to herself, setting the cake table up and glancing around to ensure there were enough seats for the massive crowd she was planning to host. Ah yes, everything was perfect. The party chi was flowing like rivers of candy in her mind's eye, all she had to do was shoo a few ponies away from the snacks while she waited for the nobles to arrive.
Her smile widened as she caught sight of Fluttershy flapping desperately toward her. "Oh hey! Are they coming?"
"Well, um... yes, but--"
"Great! You would not believe what I've had to pull out of the waxworks to get this whole shindig arranged. Outdoor carpeting is really really expensive and there had to be like twenty different tables not counting the buffet--"
"Oh my... Pinkie, um--"
"--which means I had to cut budget from silverware and balloons but what's a party without balloons and then there was that whole thing with that tatzelworm that got into the library--"
"Well, that's... Listen, Pinkie--"
"--and after the third jump I don't know where we were but when you're being chased by ravenous glove monsters you then to lose track of these things so that's how I recovered the cake--"
"Pinkietheguestsarecominghereridingonmountainlions."
The party pony blinked. "Say that again?"
"Well, when I tried to keep them from heading here my animal friends suggested that a few predators stand around and look scary and so I asked mountain lions to just stand around AJ's barn but Rainbow's family weren't scared and they had swords for some reason so now they're fighting the mountain lions and headed this way and I'm so sorry I didn't think this through!" Fluttershy flung herself at Pinkie's hooves, sniffling.
The baker took a moment to factor this into her calculations. Her eyes screwed up as she pondered the nature of her new struggle, mind whirling with choreographed plans and tools available in her immediate vicinity.
"Do you mean cougars or actual lions made of mountains?"
"Stone, technically... but they live in mountains..."
"Okay then." Pinkie grinned, looking beyond Fluttershy; eying a crowd of panicking ponies now running at them. "That? I can work with that."
She stretched her lips wide, inhaling. The yellow pegasus looked at her bulging friend and, with survival skills tempered by countless parties, jumped to the side.
As predicted, a pack of mountain lions rushed over the sup of the hill, ridden and harried by various ponies in elegent dress. The party pony grinned, waiting for the perfect moment....
"RCHK'KRM KRCKCH'A!"
...and released her breath in a single shout.
The effect was instantaneous. Every single stone feline stopped dead in their tracks, eyes snapping to the smiling pink mare as they suddenly ignored the very ponies they had been battling. One, an elderly sort with a cracked mane, stomped forward.
"Chk'k' rch uk krkrk ch?"
Pinkie nodded. "Rch."
"Chk'k' rrchk'a! R chi kika kk chk qrch." The mountain lion flung a paw behind him.
"Rch k'k' chki quch kchq rq." The party pony shook her head sympathetically. "Chik k k krch rch qi ch."
"Kika...?"
"Chk kchq."
"...Rch." With that, the mountain lion turned around and roared. Instantly, the pack of stone felines made speed for the forest in the distance.
The gathered ponies stared at the baker in utter shock.
"....I speak fluent rock."
The alabaster unicorn at the turntables grinned. "PREACH IT SISTER!" Her hoof went down, spinning the discs and turning up the volume. "Let's get this afterparty started!"
***
One moment Rainbow Dash was having the time of her life. And the next her heart froze up in terror.
Her eyes darted round the gathered crowd as the wubs reverberated in her ears. She could feel the tension in the air, as the ponies of Ponyville examined her and her family; she could taste the curiosity radiating from them in continuous waves. The stench of fate assailed her, inevitably drawing toward her certain deredicalination.
"...YOU GUYS ARE SO COOL!"
The stench of fate suddenly smelled a lot better.
"I mean you were riding those mountain lions like WOW and I saw Rainbow Dash go BANG and ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh!" Scootaloo bounced up and down with a maniac grin. "Why did you never tell me your family was so cool?!"
Dash blinked. Her family was... what?
"Well, because she doesn't like wearing the fancy dresses." Dazzler Prism trotted up with a sly smirk. "Shouldn't you be in class, little filly?"
"Well, Miss Cheerilee decided we could all come to the party to meet the archduchess of Cloudsdale." The pegasus filly pointed to her schoolteacher, who was busy shepherding a large group of fillies out of a nearby building. "We're supposed to write a report on what she actually does... do you know who she is?"
The two pegasi shared an amused look. "Well, Scoots... this is my grandma, Dazzler Prism. And... um..." She rubbed the back of her head. "How... exactly do you feel about me being a... noblepony?"
"Well, you fight mountain lions." Scootaloo shrugged. "What's being a noblepony have to do with that?"
"So... I'm still, you know, awesome?"
"Uh, yeah? That's never going to change." The filly gave her a weird look. "You feeling okay? That frilly lacy stuff isn't cutting off your blood circulation, is it?"
Dash laughed. "Nah, I just wanted to make sure everypony still saw me the same way as before. You know. So they knew I'm awesome."
"I'm afraid I have to change my opinion of you, miss Dash."
The assembled pegasi turned to the new speaker, a brown earth pony giving the cerulean mare a disapproving look over her glasses.
"You've been paying taxes using commoner laws." The mayor raised a critical eyebrow. "I may have to reimburse you."
For a moment, there was silence.
Then Rainbow Dash broke out in a grin. "Tell you what, let me keep my job and we'll call it even."
Stats
Page generated in 0.033 seconds
Total duration
1,104 users online
1,809,401 hits today, 2,724,632 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
AND THEN THERE WAS A PARTY!
I died!
Well Pinkie did grow up on a rock farm...
Ponies riding stone lions... Only on Fimfiction... WE NEED ART OF THIS!!!!
Well... that descended quickly.
Well, that was amusing.
Well she did have a pile of rocks at her party that she was talking to, even if it was creepy.
Great chapter!
What...
I can't explain what is going on right now in my head. It's too complicated.
Mind you, I'm pretty sure I speak a bit of electronica and mechanics.
"I speak fluent rock."
My chest hurts now. Great chapter!
Hmm.. Pinkie speaking rock. Meh, makes sense.
Pegasi are violent, cept for Flutters, she's a pacifist.
That was...and is...I mean...
NO WORDS!
Of course Pinkie speaks Terran. How else can one be expected to farm rocks?
I too lost it at "....I speak fluent rock."
Makes perfect sense, though.
I speak fluent rock too.
Rck kqu chq rch kck. RHK CKH KHCH!!
Anyone wanna translate?
that was awesome i really want to know what pinkie and the lions were saying though also mayor mare worried about reimbursing her on taxes is quite typical
1939220 Rck kqu chq rch kck. RHK CKH KHCH!!
Translation: "Greetings, lions of the mountains. I regret to inform you that due to the circumstances of your current predicament, I am going to have to ask you to leave the premises, due to the party that you are ruining here for my noble friends. So, LEAVE!" The rest is just gibberish that Pinkie Pie threw in there to confuse them.
"I speak fluent rock"
Excuse me, I have to go wrangle my sides...
1939220
"My hovercraft is full of eels. Receive the light!"
Lets see, growing up on a rock farm, then inviting that Rocky fellow to Gummy's party, both flashed in my mind at that moment.
Rkhkhkhk cqu khak ckcl, miss Pinkie Pie, rkhkhkhk.
Uh.. I'm a bit lost on the Mayor's line. Dash is turning down money? Reimburse means to repay. Did you mean that or something else?
Wow so noble ponies pay less taxes
.Id be like 
then like 
then like 
lol
1939833
Exactly. One of Rainbow's fears was that she wouldn't be allowed to keep her job if her noble status came out (or something to that effect). So by essentially bribing Mayor Mare with her presumably hefty refund, she's maintaining the status quo, and gets to keep her job. Although her future taxes will still probably go down.
I hope that was coherent enough to be edifying.
Kyne's Peace goes Kaan Drem Ov, man.
Animal Magnetism - Scorpions
Two tax categories? One for commoners and one for nobles?
Aw heck no.
194004 Ahhh okay, life makes sense again. Is that already in the story and I missed it?
As well since nobles have more money shouldn't their taxes be higher since they can afford it yadda yadda yadda? Or are you following This Platinum Crown's idea that Nobles can't work?
Yay! A happy chapter! I'm also glad that this story hasn't fallen off the face of the earth.
Also, Mayor Mare's line confused me a little. Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't reimburse mean to return money to someone? Or is that what you meant?
1942310 I take it to mean she shouldn't be paying tax, or should be paying less or something.
1938628
Then how did you post this?
1938889
Except for the eight words that made up that post.
1944255
I speak from beyond the grave!
... The wi-fi is surprisingly good here.
1944264
Yeah, they were my last eight the other day.
And thus, everything goes according to plan. Obviously. This was a hilarious and happy way to wind things down. I assume the end draws near? A most enjoyable read this has been.
Well this was amazing and hilarious
fus Ro PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Every time Pinkie... every time...
deredicalination <-Tried to Google the definition of of this. Couldn't find it. I assume you are neologizing, but I'm not sure how to find the root words you used. Definition please?
"Do you mean cougars or actual lions made of mountains?"
DOUBLE SUBVERSION! BWAAHAHAH! I LOVE IT!
"....I speak fluent rock."
Why does that make sense?
"I may have to reimburse you."
Let's face facts. Death is like taxes. No matter how slice it, it's not going to be fair.
A system that they take MORE of your share if you've been more fortunate? How is THAT fair? The opposite is JUST as unfair! There is no such thing a perfect tax system.
Wait, so nobles get to pay LESS in taxes? The common pony is required to pay more even though they pay less. So much for Equestria government being so fair and honorable.