Fluttershy cowered in the doorway that connected the Apple living area to the barn proper. She could see Dash sitting like a porcelain doll mere feet away, her blue wings drooping against the sparkling waistline of her gown. Thankfully, the other pegasus hadn't noticed her yet; unfortunately the farmer she was attempting to wave over was on the other side of the barn. She tapped her hoof in frustration; how could she possibly get the orange mare's attention while not letting Dash know she was here?
"Excuse me, miss, are you the wait staff?"
Fluttershy squeaked and nearly jumped back, but managed to hold her own against the small colt staring at her. "Um... yes. I, well, I need to have a small talk with miss Applejack, you see..." This could actually work. "There's been a bit of a, well, issue and since she is hosting, we thought, well... but of course, um, it's not like we want to disturb the party... Would you be a dear and discreetly bring her over here? Please?"
"What's Discreetly?"
"Um... quietly, without, you know, letting anypony else know..." Fluttershy gave a small smile. "I... really don't want to be a bother."
"You could just fly over the crowd. Only half the ponies here are pegasi, so nopony expects a flyer."
The yellow mare glanced at the sulking Rainbow Dash. "I don't think that would work."
"Are you sure you're the wait staff?"
"I'm... new. Could you just tell miss Applejack that Fluttershy needs to talk to her?"
The colt raised an eyebrow. "You're trying to crash the party, aren't you?"
"What-?! N-No! I just need to talk to--"
"MOMMY! THERE'S A PARTY CRASHER HERE!"
All eyes turned to the doorway, spotting the shivering pink mane. Rainbow Dash got out of her seat, intent on protecting her friend--
But Applejack beat her to the punch, trotting across the room. "Young sir, that's no party crasher. That is one of the ponies who helped arrange this party on such short notice. Is that not right, Dashiel?"
The pegasus nodded. "Um... yes. She was, well, the coordinator for... decorations. Abagail and I will talk to her."
The farm mare's smile froze a titch, but she shook it off. "Don't any of you worry, dears, this will be sorted out right quick!" The three of them stepped behind the door into the Apple living area, shutting it gently.
In the ensuing silence, Rainbow Dash the second slowly facehooved.
Dazzler Prism rolled her eyes, rising from her seat. "Well, I think the cat's out of the bag now. How about we wrap this up and all head for that 'afterparty' the baker was setting up?"
"What? That thing is actually happening?" A mare scoffed. "I thought it was some commoner joke!"
"Shut up, mother," Rainbow groused.
"Excuse me?"
"That commoner, mother, is not only one of the bearers of the elements of harmony, has not ONLY contributed to the Equestrian Research division on multiple occasions, doe not only hold a rare license in the studies and sciences of the fae, will not only inherit one of the most profitable geoformation centers this side of the Crystal Empire, but also happens to be a loving older sister, a caring mentor, a source of joy for everypony in this town, and my friend."
Rainbow took a deep breath, suddenly aware of all the eyes on her.
Dazzler smiled gently, gliding over to her and giving her a reassuring nuzzle. "There there... you've said your piece. I'm sure little Vari's got it."
"Mother! Please don't call me that! It's embarrassing!"
The elderly mare sighed, looking at her. "I've told you before to stop worrying so much about image. Let your mane down, relax a little. Goddesses know you've earned it Vari."
"My name is Variegation!" the mare protested, stomping her hoof.
"I know, I'm the pony that gave it to you." Dazzler grinned, walking up to her and giving her a hug. "And when you're in your public with the admiring fans, I'll call you that. But to me, you'll always be my own wonderful, hardworking, somewhat prissy Vari."
The barn was filled with a gentle sound of ponies appreciating the heartwarming scene.
Rainbow the second glanced at the ground, a bit ashamed of her own behavior. "Mother... I just wanted to say that--"
The mare put a hoof to her mouth. "No. I... I was the one acting disrespectfully, and... I'm sorry."
The barn was once more filled with a gentle sound of ponies appreciating the heartwarming scene.
Dazzler glanced around, reassured that her family was whole again, and flew to the exit. "All right, everypony, enough dilly-dally! We've done the regal side of things, let's go have fun!"
She turned around, opening the barn doors.
"....right after we fight through this pack of mountain lions. Who here brought their swords?"
***
"Ya surrounded mah barn with what?!"
Fluttershy cringed. "W-well, Pinkie told me to find a way to keep the ponies away while she repaired some damage Thunderlane did, and I asked my animal friends to help me and, um, one thing led to another--"
"I still can't believe Pinkie did that," Rainbow growled. "A town-wide party with my family--I am going to be RUINED for sure." She kicked the wall half-heartedly before descending into a sulk. "Once everypony knows I'm part of this frou-frou group, my awesomeness is going to plummet."
"That's not tha problem now! Tha problem is tha bunch of predators around us! No offense Fluttershy."
"Oh, um, none taken I guess..." The pegasus idly traced a pattern on the ground with her forehoof. "They, um, actually suggested that since a lot of ponies are afraid of predators they scare them back into the barn, if, you know, they come out..."
"FOR CLOUDSDALE!"
Appejack's ears flicked up, and she flung open the door to the barn to see Dazzler leading a charge against the very beasts meant to delay her. "What the hay? They have swords! Where did they get SWORDS?!"
"It's part of the regalia," Dash explained dully. "My tiara actually has a dagger hidden in it." She pulled the blade out to demonstrate. "Of course the higher up the ranks, the bigger the weapon..."
"Oh my goodness, oh my goodness! I never meant for this to happen, oh no, what if they hurt the poor mountain lions?"
Applejack rolled her eyes. "Mountain lions have rocky skin, Shy, I don't think they can--"
A sudden yowl interrupted her, and she caught sight of Rainbow the second's mother clinging to a leaping stone feline's mane with a raging expression. "DON'T YOU TOUCH MY DAUGHTER!"
"...huh." Slowly, Applejack shut the door. "Okay, so we have a problem. What're we going ta do?"
"Nothing can stop them now," Rainbow replied, toying with the dagger in her hooves. "It's all over. They'll get there and I'll be ruined, yep. Nothing for me now but dresses and makeup."
There was a quiet moment.
"...Ya know, Dash, Ah never took ya for a quitter."
The pegasus looked up. "What?"
"Here ya are, trying ta keep yer family secret from all the world, and now that it's about ta be blown wide open yer just sitting thar in yer dress and staring at nothun!"
"Well, yeah, but--"
"Yer granny's out thar fighting MOUNTAIN LIONS, Dash! Do ya think she'd ever give up?"
"No..." the weathermare admitted.
"And Ah bet she hasn't done the sonic rainboom, or mastered it so well she can perform it on demand."
"No, that's just me."
"So are ya just gonna sit here and let yer life be taken out from under ya?!"
"...no."
"What was that, sugarcube? Ah can't hear ya."
"No."
"Beg yer pardon?"
"NO!" Rainbow Dash stood up, wings flared.
"Well then, get out thar and help yer granny fight those mountain lions!"
"YEAH!" The pegasus flicked her wings. "FOR CLOUDSDALE! WOOO!" She zoomed out the front door and joined the fray.
Fluttershy looked at Applejack in confusion. "What just... happened?"
"Don't you worry none, sugarcube. Just head out the back door and tell Pinkie to be ready."
Seriously.
What just happened?
So... awesome...
That was both hilarious and touching. Well done sir/ma'am.
This was so short, I want more now.
'Aye, what just happend!?
wut
1015368 - Don't worry, it's just Pinkie's Party Cannon... see the confetti and fireworks?
All I could think when I read the chapter title was potato.
Also, great story too!
Timber wolf: Wolf made of timber.
Mountain lion: Lion made of mountains.
Seems legit.
Also, the idea of pegasus finery doubling as weaponry is too fantastic not to become part of my headcanon. Now if only Dash would realize that fighting stone lions qualifies as awesome no matter how fru-fru the outfit.
"So are ya just gonna sit here and let yer life be taken out from under ya?!"
"No! I'm not just going to sit here and take it! I'm gonna go beat Pinkie Pie until she goes blind!"
1680571
Technically it's Quetzalcoatl finery.
1680097
There is a fanfic with that name.
What just happened?
Well here answer is "Family reunion. True one".
1680097 Everything man. everything.
How is this not a thing? This should totally be a thing!
Those poor mountain lions.
Well, that's one way to keep ponies inside a barn... (If they didn't bring large amounts of sharp weaponry, that is...)
1680097
Don't worry about it, just get out there and help Pinkie with the party.
1681867
I think we can just airdrop this into the battle:
lh6.googleusercontent.com/-SZdNARq0lMA/ULKB7eTKoeI/AAAAAAAAM5U/x2qBAucAXfs/s1600/SweetySweetieBelle.png
Should make everyone stop to squeedorbs. "Where'd you get the milkshake?" "At Pinkie Pie's after-party over there!"
Dash, I think that if you are related to nobles who don't care that they are fighting MOUNTAIN LIONS, then you have a guaranteed license of awesomeness.
Nice one Applejack.
As for th mountain lions...well, I'm sure they'll retreat soon enough. They aren't there to hurt anypony afterall.
Lololololol this story. It is hilarious. Props for making me laugh on multiple occasions.
how does dash not find fighting mountain lions cool? with a knife no less?
1683033
Dude, NOBODY thinks their own family is cool.
1683283
well duh. I'm just wondering at the prospect at how RD does not see fighting mountain lions cool
1683346
They're all wearing dresses. Even some of the colts.
1683765
ah. hmmm, i may need to go reread some of this then... on the other hand I can only think of this:encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT1l24CbiXuqqVd3zooohFbjR0sLVSQ8jzIpbGOa59FGvuLmBPF
...I know it's not the right group, but still
Quick, someone get Barnabas Hale, his cougar-fighting expertise is needed.
Seven Seven - Graveyard
While this will probably all work out, I'd still be a little upset with Pinkie. Yeah, her intentions are good, and it may even work, but she still violated a friend's privacy, betraying her trust, and exposing for all the world to see a secret she much would have preferred to remain a secret.
1680571 Wait, what about Sea-lions then?
Wha... ah...
a bunch of upper class ponies weilding swords and fighting off a bunch of mountain lions that are actually made of stone; if that doesnt scream awesomeness then I dont know what does.
1684745 Feline water elementals, obviously. As vicious as they are ironic.
1683346
Dude, I'm serious here. Your mom and dad could be mountain climbing jungle explorer jet fighter astronauts and, after the age of 12, you'd be like "oh jeez, there goes my dorky dad wrestling grizzly bears bare-handed, I'm so embarrassed. "
1688278
for me it was before the age of 13 that i found my parents embarrassing. after I turned 13 however...encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRt6pZO1IIbUWxqnz-GYpiSHcJMnQ-jZw-weOxY5WwiqLBrD086 still not embarrassed by them, so I must be the exception to that rule
That was seriously one of the funniest things I've read recently. Freakin'... just, wow. Good stuff. Dash's grandmom is best mom.
Hilarious, awesome, and heartwarming. Can't wait for more!
I know we just had some. But, can we have some moar please?
1681880
I daw'ed all over the floor
CLEAN UP IN ISLE 4!!!!!!!
Mountain lions...
Sweet Celestia what just happened?
FOR CLOUDSDALE!!!
This story is never going to be updated again, is it?
Edit: It was just updated. Rarely am I so happy to be wrong.
Wha...? Ok then, I guess this could work. Let's see.
1681880
Whoaaaa maaaan, you're working your cuteness on me maaan! YOUR IRRESISTABLE CUTENESS!!
I read that in Judy Dench's voice with Graham Chapman's delivery. Perfect.
this was a chapter hard for me to keep up with. I might just be really tired and all but im slowly trying to piece together what the heck just happened. I think I know enough now I can continue reading and it will be explained soon enough.
Me: What DID just happen?
"That commoner, mother, is not only one of the bearers of the elements of harmony, has not ONLY contributed to the Equestrian Research division on multiple occasions, doe not only hold a rare license in the studies and sciences of the fae, will not only inherit one of the most profitable geoformation centers this side of the Crystal Empire, but also happens to be a loving older sister, a caring mentor, a source of joy for everypony in this town, and my friend."
Which one of the mane six is she describing again?
"My tiara actually has a dagger hidden in it."
Guess the pegasi are still warriors somewhere in them.
Nothing for me now but dresses and makeup."
Dash, you're a moron. She's fixated on HIDING this.
I'm so lost but I wanna keep reading