• Published 3rd Sep 2018
  • 4,731 Views, 22 Comments

MLP The Movie: After the Celebration - RebelNarrator45



A guilty Twilight apologises

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Apologies and Pardon

Author's Note:

This is my first FIMFiction......criticism and pointers will be appreciated, but be merciful, please. :twilightsmile:

"What if they really hate me, Spike? What if I can never gain back thier forgiveness?? What if I have forever destroyed thier trust and friendship in me?" Twilight was pacing furiously back and forth in the library of her Ponyville castle.

"Twilight, calm down." her trusted number one assistant said, wondering how much longer before she completely lost it. "They didn't seem too torn up about it at the celebration."

"That's just it, Spike!"the frustrated lavendar alicorn burst out. "They didn't SEEM to be!! But what if they are?? What if deep down they are still super hurt at what I said?! I mean, I told them maybe we shouldn't be friends! I'm the Princess of Friendship.....how could I say that?!" She flopped down on the floor and covered her head with her forelegs, groaning. "I'm a terrible friend, Spike."

"No, you're not." The young dragon came and leaned against her, hugging her. "And if they were mad, why did they come to your rescue? You didn't see them when I yelled you'd been taken by Tempest, Twilight. They all looked so scared. They thought they would lose you. So, they went after you. And they saved you."

"Yes, but......but Pinkie looked so hurt when I yelled....."Twilight said, miserably.

Spike sighed. "Well, yeah," he said. "I mean, you hurt them, Twilight, so they were pretty upset, but I'm pretty sure they have all forgiven you."

Twilight stood. "I have to know."she said."I have to make this right. Spike, I need you to deliver some letters."

Spike sighed, then nodded in acceptance, even as he silently scolded her for overreacting. But this WAS Twilight, after all; she overreacted quite a bit. Twilight caught up a quill and several sheets of paper in her magic, drew them to her, and began to write five seperate letters..........

***********************************
(One hour later)

"Twilight! Twilight, where are ya?! We're here!" This announcement was accompanied by a loud crash as all five ponies burst through the castle door. Spike hurried to meet them.

"Spike, what the hay is goin' on with Twilight??" demanded Applejack, staring down at him.

"Yeah!"Rainbow Dash added."Those letters you delivered all said she was gonna make amends one way or another and what punishments did we have in mind for her."

Spike groaned and mentally slapped himself. "I KNEW I should have gone ahead and read those letters before I delivered them!"he declared. The dragon shook his head.

"Wouldn't that be evading of privacy?" Pinkie asked, bouncing in place.

"Invading of privacy, darling," Rarity corrected gently. "And yes."

"What in tarnation was she talkin' about, Spike?"Applejack asked. "Make amends for what?"

Spike sighed. "Better let her tell you. Follow me......she's in the library."

They followed him, clearly still confused as to what was going on. When they entered the library, Twilight was waiting.

"Oh good, you're here!" she said. She looked at them expectantly. "I want to make amends. Do you have any punishments picked out yet?" She sounded almost eager.

The others blinked, more confused than ever. They looked at each other, then back to thier friend.

"Uh, Twilight?" Rainbow Dash said slowly. "What are you talking about? What punishments? What amends? Will you PLEASE make sense?!"

Twilight turned away. "For the awful things I said on the beach that day." she finally said, voice trembling slightly. "Before Tempest grabbed me. When I made Pinkie and Fluttershy cry and hurt all of you so much."

Her head hung lower with each named transgression until her muzzle nearly touched the ground. Tears leaked from her eyes and ran unheeded down her muzzle, dripping off onto the floor. Seeing her so depressed and broken made the others more than a little upset. Pinkie's mane and tail deflated somewhat, Rarity conjured up a hoofkerchief for her now running mascara, Applejack removed her hat, Dash's ears flattened on her head and her wings drooped. Fluttershy was the first to react. She went to Twilight and wrapped her wings and forelegs around her, hugging her fiercely.

"Twilight, please don't cry....."the pale yellow pegasus implored softly."We all love you. We aren't mad at you."

"Yeah, sugarcube."Applejack approached, laying a hoof on the young alicorn princess's back."We ain't mad. Shoot....Ah reakon if anythin' we're all upset at ourselves. We all messed up big time. In alot of things."

"Yeah."said Dash."Like.... if I hadn't done that rainboom, Tempest wouldn't have discovered our location."

"An' if we hadn't walked off, ya wouldn't have been captured."said Applejack, sadly.

Twilight looked around, blinking. They all looked so sad and............realisation struck.

'They have all felt guilty, too!' She thought to herself, before saying aloud, "But.....but it wasn't your fault!! Tempest nabbed me because I wasn't paying attention!"

"Yes, Darling." Rarity said softly. "But you weren't paying attention because we, your best friends, walked away......abandoned you in your time of need."

"Lookin' back," said Applejack, "we should have seen ya didn't mean it. We knew ya were upset, and had the savin' of all Equestria thrown on ya. But no, we walked away. An' for that, Ah apologize."

"Uh huh." Rainbow Dash spoke up. "Some Element of Loyalty I am. Celestia should strip me of it and banish me to the moon. I don't deserve to bear an Element I don't live up to." Her head drooped.

"None of us do." Rarity offered. "Except for maybe Fluttershy."

"No." The Element of Kindness shook her head gently, tearful eyes meeting Twilight's. "I wasn't very kind at all, walking away and leaving you so sad and broken." She hung her head.

"I should have made you laugh." Pinkie said suddenly. "You were sad and I was a mean meany pants to yell at you, and you were a mean meany pants yelling back, but I still shoukd have tried to make you laugh. You needed laughter, but I didn't give it to you." She looked down.

"And I was not very generous." Rarity said softly. "I could have given you time to calm yourself and provided a listening ear for all your troubles, but instead I walked off and left you." The fashionista looked away with a heavy sigh.

Twilight couldn't believe they felt guilty, too. She looked at each one in turn.

"We're sorry, Twilight." They chorused softly.

And suddenly they were caught up in her magic, drawn in for a big group hug.

"I forgive you!" Twilight said. "If you forgive me for yelling and saying what I did."

"Absolutely!" was the happy reply. Then Pinkie broke loose.

"Now we need a......everyponywassadandguiltyandnowweforgiveeachotherandarehappyagain PARTY!!!" She yelled. She drew in a massive breath to replenish her oxygen supply.

"Uh, is that even a thing?" Rainbow Dash asked, skeptically.

"It is NOOOOOOWWWW!" Pinkie sang out, and a blast of confetti covered the room and its occupants in what looked like a colored snowstorm.

"Pinkie......." groaned Twilight, but she was promptly silenced by a large piece of cake being shoved into her mouth without ceremony. The others laughed as she chewed and swallowed, glaring slightly at Pinkie.

"Twilight?" Spike tapped on her leg.

"What is it, Spike?" She asked, smiling down on him.

"I'm sorry I didn't watch out better and warn you faster about Tempest being there." Spike said. Instantly he was wrapped in her forelegs.

"It wasn't your fault, Spike." She assured him. "You did your best." She nuzzled him.

They shared a loving look, and another hug later, Spike was happily munching on cake and gemstones. Twilight looked around at the laughing group and smiled, glad that everything was completely back to normal.

BOOM!!!! The unexpected explosion shook the castle as each pony and the entire library was coated in cake, ice cream, and colored streamers.

"Oopsie!" giggled Pinkie, licking ice cream off one foreleg.

Twilight wiped frosting from her eyes. "Pinkie Pie!" She said sternly.

"Whaaaaat???" the pink party pony giggled. "Its not my fault the exploding cake exploded with more exploding power than it needed to explode with!"

There was a collective groan as Twilight face hooved.

Yep. Definitely back to normal.

Comments ( 22 )

Heh no problem:heart: :twilightsmile:!!

It was a good story, although the resolution did seem a little rushed to me.

Also, ellipses always have 3 dots, never more. It says that in the writing guide IIRC. Still, it’s very good for a first story.

Captures the heart of the show well!

9150485
Thank you! :pinkiehappy:

Also........have you checked out my other two stories? I know they both probably could've been better, but I've never actually written MLP fics before. The three stories I have on this site are my first ones ever.

Keep the pointers and criticism coming, please!! It all helps me immensely to know where I went right and where I went wrong, so I can write accordingly!

Really awesome for your first story! I'd suggest maybe running it through a spelling checking program to fix the few errors that are there. Other than that, I really liked it! You did a good job capturing the characters' personalities, too! I'd love to read more from you! <3 :twilightsmile:

9150562
Thanks! Yeah, did all the spell checking myself. Think I should probably rely on a spell checker next time. Lol.

Also, I've got two other stories up, too, if you're wanting to read more.

Aside from the very ending feeling kind of rushed this was pretty good. :eeyup:

I'm surprised Spike isn't sorry that he killed three guards during the storm king invasion by burning them to death with his fire. Seriously am I the only one who noticed this at all from the film?!

9150606
Might I suggest Grammarly as an Extention or an app. I use it frequently and it helps me so much.

9151127 I know he burned one guard to death, cause he didn't get back up. Don't know about the other two though, they were still running around.

I have a critique-
You are running DANGEROUSLY close to the line of Lavender Unicorn Syndrome.
Figure out what that is and change it a little I guess?

9152041
Lavender Unicorn Syndrome???:rainbowhuh:

What in the name of Equestria is that??! I have spent the last three minutes carefully rereading my story........

Please explain before I suffer from Twilight Tantrum Syndrome.........

9152051
Lavender Unicorn Syndrome, or LUS, is mentioned in Ezn's writing guide. It's using descriptive words to name characters instead of using their actual names for the sake of variety and that's good but you can't go overboard. You were good everywhere but the first paragraph or 2.
And on that topic, SPACE YOUR PARAGRAPHS!

9150441

Also, ellipses always have 3 dots, never more. It says that in the writing guide IIRC. Still, it’s very good for a first story.

Well, generally, three if it's in the middle of a sentence ... four if it's at the end....
So perhaps Rainbowfan45 was just covering all the bases? :rainbowhuh:

And while the onsite writing guide has been known to contain an error or two, the actual case is that many of the classical so-called authorities don't even agree with each other due to fact that all those rules were made well before computers and unicode characters existed :twilightoops: -- back in the dark ages when only manual typewriters and newspaper typeset were the only way to communicate :trollestia: -- they didn't even have dragons to take dictation back then! :facehoof: :moustache:

For me, my trust and faith in Twilight decreased after the movie and stayed that way until the season 8

"Oh good, you're here!" she said. She looked at them expectantly. "I want to make amends. Do you have any punishments picked out yet?" She sounded almost eager.

The others blinked, more confused than ever. They looked at each other, then back to their friend.

"Uh, Twilight?" Rainbow Dash said slowly. "What are you talking about? What punishments? What amends? Will you PLEASE make sense?!"

"twilight" applejack gently asked "are ya gettin into that BDSM stuff?"

10884178
on that subject, that would be an interesting concept for a saucy comedy twilight gets into bondage after every adventure

Happy 5th Anniversary!

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