And They All Lived
Soarin’ touched down near the outskirts of the Everfree Forest. Trotting down the road a bit, he reached a familiar cottage. If anypony knows what’s wrong with Dashie, it outta be her oldest friend.
Reaching the cottage door, he stopped to read a written note loosely attached with scotch tape.
Gone to the spa for my weekly get together with the girls. I’m so, so sorry if I missed you. Please don’t be mad at me!
Soarin’ groaned as he turned around and flew back into the air. He didn’t exactly plan on exploring Ponyville for one of the frilliest establishments. Catching sight of the town’s more developed buildings, he landed on the road and began to look around for the spa. But what if there’s more than one spa…. Dear Celestia, could anything else go wrong?
“Hey! Is that Soarin’ from the Wonderbolts?!”
Uh oh….
“Simply divine! Let me tell you, the spa never fails to uphold perfection!”
“It is nice to get pampered from time to time, Rarity.” Twilight said. “Though I don’t get this whole mud bath thing. Couldn’t I just cast a spell to get rid of any dandruff? Not that… I have it of course, heheh.”
“That’s just silly Twilight! Then Aloe and Lotus would have one less job to do!” Pinkie chirped up, unneeded curlers littering her hair. “And nothing is more fun than a day at work!”
“Not everypony gets ta work at Sugarcube Corner, sugarcube,” Applejack retorted from the Jacuzzi. “Though ah don’t think this job’s exactly hard labor in itself, they’re mighty good at what they do.”
The loud chatter of a crowd of ponies could be heard outside, disrupting the tranquil atmosphere the spa usually retained.
“Good grrracious, what in Equestria is causing that ruckus?! It’s ruining a perfectly fabulous spa day!” Rarity complained.
“Oh… um… I’ll go check,” Fluttershy said meekly, trotting out into the chaos.
“Maybe it’s a parade or a dragon or a party or a celebrity! Wouldn’t that be neat! Maybe it’s Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie squealed in delight, her hopes rising higher than the city of Cloudsdale.
“Pinkie, we’d love to see Rainbow Dash as much as you, but she’s super busy this season,” Twilight responded logically, despite the twinge of hope she felt. “She doesn’t have time when the Wonderbolts are learning their routines for the upcoming shows.”
“Phooey! That ain’t no excuse Twi!” Applejack huffed. “Little miss Wonderbolt should make time for her friends. If ah can find time away from the farm, then she should be able to find time away from them fancy fliers.”
“Applejack! She’s a celebrity! The poor dear runs herself ragged year round and still manages to find some time for us now and again. Not to mention she’s married now and is obligated to spend what in between time she has with her husband! We miss her dearly, but she’s living her dream and we have no right to begrudge her.”
Applejack nodded solemnly at Rarity’s defensive statement. The sentimentality in the room was shattered as Fluttershy came galloping through the spa’s front doors, gasping for breath. The jubilant look on her face left her friends in anticipation for her to catch her breath and give them the news.
“You girls… will not… BELIEVE… who landed in town!” Fluttershy panted.
“YES?!” They all responded.
“The crowd… was gathered…. around a pegasus… chanting about… the Wonderbolts… and blue coat…”
“YEEEEEEEEEES?!?!”
“Oh… I mean, if you want to know….”
“Just spit it out girl!” Applejack yelled.
“Soarin’ is here! And if he’s here then Rainbow Dash must be here too!”
All five mares let out a joyful scream at the chance to see their friend again.
“Well then what’re we waiting for! Let’s go get them through this… big… large… mob of Wonderbolts fans.” Twilight sighed, feeling defeated.
Applejack stepped up, a rope draped over her back.
“Nothin’ to worry ‘bout Twi! I’ll get ‘em here lickity split.”
Twirling the rope, Applejack tossed the lasso into the mob and felt a snag. Pull as she might, she couldn’t budge the rope as she stepped backwards.
“Everypony pull!” Twilight commanded. All five friends pulled, making slow progress as they inched backwards, dragging the lassoed pony through the crowd. Aloe and Lotus joined, speeding up the process until the tension released, sending eight ponies sprawling. Picking themselves up, they saw their attempt had not been in vain. Soarin’ lay spread out on the floor gasping for breath before looking up at his saviors.
“Thank you, ladies.”
“WAHAHAHAHHOOOOOOOAAAAA!!” Rarity shrieked. “Oh stars and heavens above! Soarin’, you look positively horrible! What in Equestria has happened to you?!”
Nopony defended her accusations. Soarin’ mane and feathers were raggedy from the mob, but that was the least of Rarity’s horrors. His eyes were puffy with dark rings underneath, evidence of the stressful months he had endured. His coat was dull and dirty, tainting the faint azure blue he rarely got to display.
“That doesn’t matter right now,” Soarin’ said, breathing heavily. “I need your help, please. Rai-“
“Of course you need our help!” Rarity interrupted. “Aloe! Lotus! This is a spa emergency! Quick quick, help this poor stallion!”
“No! I need your help with-“
Soarin’ didn’t get to finish his sentence before the two spa ponies tackled him. He found himself tied up with seaweed as they dragged him to a separate room for some intensive rejuvenation techniques.
“It sounded like he had something important to tell us, Rarity. Besides, we still don’t know where Rainbow Dash is and now we have to wait even longer!”
Twilight’s outburst set Rarity into a gasp.
“Twilight! Show some consideration! That poor stallion is getting what he needs most right now, whether he wants it or not. A good massage, two cucumber slices, and a bottle of shampoo and conditioner will work wonders for him. Whatever he had to tell us can wait, and so can Rainbow Dash. Honestly, how can she let her husband get into that kind of condition! It’s beastly! It’s atrocious! It’s-“
“Not the end of the world, Rarity.” Applejack interrupted.
“It’s all okie dokie in the long run! We just gotta wait thirty minutes or so and then Soarin’ can tell us where Dashie is!” Pinkie chirped. “Besides, with that crowd out there it’s not like we’re going to find her on our own. We just have to wait.”
And so they did.
Soarin’ walked into the main spa room, his coat, main, and feathers all shining and neatly fixed. The puffiness had been reduced slightly by the cucumbers, but the dark rings would only go away with proper sleep. Rarity was very pleased with the results.
“Now that is much better. Soarin’ darling, you simply must learn to take proper care of yourself. Now then, what was it you needed our help with?”
Soarin’ broke down, sobbing uncontrollably.
“I-I need help with R-Rainbow Dash! Pleeeease! I-I don’t know what to do anymore and y-you five are my only h-hope of fixing things!”
All five mares looked at each other with worried expressions. Stepping forward, Applejack placed a hoof on his shoulder.
“We’re here for you sugarcube. We’ll do everything in our power to help ya’ll, ah promise. Now tell us what in tarnation has gotten you so broken up like this?”
Soarin’ told them everything. He told them about the sickness, the change in vacation plans, the weird food tastes, gluttonous behavior, weight gain, and mostly about her emotions. He told them about a temper he’d never seen from her before. He even told them that she cried, putting emphasis on how bizarre it was. Rainbow Dash doesn’t cry. Everypony stood with shocked expressions, except Rarity, who wore a small smile even with tears flowing from her eyes.
Twilight shifted a hoof uncomfortably. “You’re right Soarin’, that certainly doesn’t sound like Rainbow Dash at all. I haven’t got a clue, but I’m sure I can find an answer. I’ll start my research immediately.”
“Twilight dear, that won’t be necessary.” Rarity stepped forward, tears staining her cheeks. “Congratulations Soarin’. Let me be the first to tell you how happy I am for both you and Rainbow Dash.”
“Whaaaaaaat?!?!”
Everypony stared at Rarity in confusion, all equally appalled that she could find Soarin’s marital issues worth celebrating.
“Congratulations?! Rarity even I couldn’t throw a party for stuff like that!” Pinkie shrieked.
“She’s been out of control with her bingin’.” Applejack added.
“And she’s seemed so upset.” Fluttershy said.
“Surely you all must be jesting. Isn’t it obvious what’s going on?”
Rarity groaned as all five ponies in attendance shook their heads.
“Rainbow Dash is pregnant. Soarin’, you’re going to be a daddy!”
“Pregnant!”
“Babies! I get to play with more babies!” Pinkie hollered.
Soarin’ sat down, unable to take the news in stride. His heart raced, his brow broke into a cold sweat, his throat dry, he tried to recollect himself. It all makes sense. It finally all makes sense. Morning sickness, food cravings, mood swings, why couldn’t I see it before? She wasn’t even getting out of shape either. I can’t believe that I could be… I… I….
“I’m an idiot…” Soarin said. Each word fell heavily, as if to strike him for his mistake. I’m such a stupid idiot. It was so obvious the whole time. We were always warned in those health classes that birth control wasn’t 100%. Leave it to Rainbow Dash to stand out of the crowd…
“Um, I have a question… if you don’t mind that is,” Fluttershy timidly spoke up. The incredulous looks from her friends berated her for being so shy. “Oh, well okay, I mean my question is, if Rainbow Dash is pregnant, then why wouldn’t she tell you? Why wouldn’t she tell us, or anypony?”
“And it ain’t like Rainbow to go and be disloyal, so Ah know you’re the father,” Applejack piped up.
All five gave Soarin’ their attention as he sighed heavily.
“Because Wonderbolts can’t get pregnant. We’re expected to maintain our athletic build, or we don’t make the cut.”
“That’s a load of horseapples!” Applejack yelled indignantly. “Don’t ya’ll have maternity leave or nuthin’?”
Soarin’ shook his head glumly.
“No, we don’t. Wonderbolts who want to start a family usually wait until retirement to have kids. Or they retire early. Rainbow Dash wouldn’t want to retire now; she loves being on the team too much. She probably didn’t tell me because less ponies knowing would mean she could still keep it a secret, and I can’t blame her. I can’t keep that big a secret if my life depended on it!”
“Whatever are you going to do, darling?” Rarity inquired.
“I don’t know,” Soarin’ answered honestly. “But I have to go talk to her. She needs me now more than ever. I’ll send a letter later to catch you girls up to speed.”
Soarin’ unfurled his wings for immediate takeoff and walked to the door.
“Soarin’, wait!”
He turned his head to address Rarity.
Smiling, she continued. “Do you hope it’s a filly or a colt?”
Soarin’ smiled. “Filly.”
“A GIRL!?!?! YOU WANTED ME TO BE A GIRL?!?!” Ranbow Blitz shrieked.
“Hey! Gimme a break Blitzy! I was in a room full of mares! It was the quickest way out, I swear!” Soarin’s nerves caused his voice to crack, leaving Blitz unconvinced. His son wore a cynical look.
“Now I know why you always give me too many hugs and kisses.” Blitz pouted.
“Er, well, back to the story,” Soarin’ stuttered.
“We are not done here, Dad!”
“BACK TO THE STORY! I had to escape the mob, but luckily I’m one of the fastest fliers in Equestria. After a few hours of flying, I finally made it back to the headquarters…..”
Several Wonderbolts, Spitfire included, immediately approached Soarin’ as he entered the hallway. The questions they threw at him bounced off like flies on a window. His mind was too preoccupied at the moment. I’m going to be a father! I’m going to be a father! Sweet Celestia, I’m actually going to be a-
“SOARIN'!”
Soarin’ snapped back to reality. Spitfire’s shouts could always bring anypony back down to Equestria. Stuttering a bit, he replied with a droll.
“Yeaaaah?”
All present Wonderbolts groaned, accompanied by either a roll of the eyes or a hoof to the face. Spitfire shook her head with an exasperated sigh.
“We asked you if you found anything out, but all you did was sit there daydreaming with some goofy smile on your face. Did you find out what was wrong with Rainbow Dash?”
“Yeah,” he replied, his voice a half-whisper, a small smile etched on his face.
Trotting past his curious teammates, Soarin’ entered his room and closed the door behind him, locking it. He didn’t want any interruptions.
Walking up to the bed, he carefully approached his wife. Rainbow Dash groaned, jumped off the bed and pulled him into a hug.
“Look Soarin’, I’m sorry for snapping at you okay? You don’t have to feel like you’re walking on cirrus clouds or something. I just wasn’t feeling myself, you know?”
“Pregnant mares don’t need to explain themselves, Dashie,” Soarin’ whispered.
Rainbow Dash broke the embrace and took a step back. She wore the same panicked look she had when she saw the positive sign emerge on the pregnancy test. Her voice cracking under the pressure, she managed to squeak out,
“Pregnant? I-I’m not pregnant! I’m just fat is all, really!”
Soarin' raised an eyebrow.
“Dashie, the day you let yourself get too fat to do the Sonic Rainboom is the day I willingly give up sweets. I went to see your friends in Ponyville because I was too stupid to see the signs myself. It only took like, a few seconds for Rarity to tell us all how oblivious we all are. It’s okay, you don’t have anything to be embarrassed or scared of, but I can’t help you if you won’t be honest.”
“Rarity would think it was obvious,” Rainbow Dash sighed, her charade defeated. She went up to Soarin’ and wrapped him in a hug, resting her head on the back of his neck. “You know what I’m really afraid of? Of course I’m scared that you’re mad at me for not telling you, and I’m also scared of getting kicked off the team. But what scares me the most is our kid. We’re bringing a foal into the world, Soarin’, and he or she’s gonna have two busy celebrities for parents. Well, one, since I’m history, but still. This kid is gonna be thrown into the paparazzi after his or her first breath. Nopony deserves that.”
“Hey, I’m not mad. If anything, I’m happy you know me well enough to know I can’t keep that big of a secret. What’s there to be mad about? You were scared and you were trying to do what you could to protect our family…. our family. Our family!” Soarin’s grin threatened to stretch past his muzzle. Rainbow Dash’s smile rivaled his.
“Daaaaaaaad why did you have to include all that mushy stuff?” Rainbow Blitz whined.
“Consider it payback for that cinnamon trick, Blitzy,” his father retorted. “Anyways, after our little emotional breakdown, we went outside and told everypony the big news. Your mother told Spitfire she would file her resignation in the morning, when we suddenly heard a belch, or rather saw it since there was fire and a scroll. Turns out, I was followed by your mother’s friends, who had written to Princess Celestia on the subject. Being the princess and all, she pulled some strings so that your mother could have maternity leave, despite her status as a Wonderbolt.”
“Woah… the princess did that for Mom?” Rainbow Blitz asked incredulously.
Soarin’ shook his head. “No Blitzy, she did that for you. Because of you, the Wonderbolts now have maternity leave so that something like this never happens again. And it would have happened sooner and saved us all a lot of grief if your mother had just been honest with us from the start.”
“Really? Cuz it sounds to me like if you and everypony else had paid more attention, then it would’ve been obvious. You goofed up pretty bad too Daddy.“
“Well, I, um… I-“
“I forgot to ask earlier,” Blitz interrupted. “What’s birth control?”
“WHO WANTS LUNCH?!” Soarin’ bellowed, trying to drown out the question.
“But Dad, I wanna know what-“
“LUNCH! And if you don’t ask that question again, I’ll take you to the Canterlot Fair after!”
“Really?!” Rainbow Blitz squeaked. Grabbing his relieved father’s hoof, he flew off towards the majestic city.
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Soarin and Dash believe in the parenting technique of bribing away all questions.
I want lunch...
I wish my parents gave me stuff whenever I had asked an awkward questiondl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Redheart_hmph.png
This, my good sir, is pure gold. It's hilarious and heartwarming.
Have a moustache. Or more.
This story is awesome! I can't wait for more.
I... Just... that was funny
I think I was pretty stupid that way, I never did ask awkward questions in the first place dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Rainbow_Dash.png
that was rgeat, i am deifnatly continueing to read, very entertainging, great storyline, you did well of showing the characters as they rly would act!
i love ur story, great job of placing the characters as they would be, i think u did very well on that
I NEED MOAR!
That explains those baby pictures of blitz in a dress!
Great chapter.
Beautiful. A well written RainbowXSoarin child fic. Keep going.
Looked good, but then SoarinDash. So... no, sorry.
five
over 5,
this story is gold
1063861
It's not so much a Soarin/Dash fic. It's more (and will be in future chapters) focused on Soarin' and him gaining his son's respect.
Don't really understand your obsessive hatred over the shipping of two fictional blue pegasus ponies, but it's your therapy session, not mine.
1064037
I just don't like the way they look together. It doesn't help that they haven't even spoken to each other in canon, but that's my deal.
Bottom line, I just don't like it. BTW, thanks for at least being nice in replying to my comment. The few violent supporters make me hate the ship more.
Good luck with the story.
1064056
Good catch. Fixed it.
1064057
Actually, she and Applejack are the only two of the mane six he has talked to canonically, so I guess your only problem (well, your therapist probably knows more) is you just don't like them aesthetically together.
I put them together for this story because of all the mane six, Soarin' is most likely to interact again with Dash in the future considering she wants to join the Wonderbolts, not to mention they danced together at the Royal Wedding.
1064099
Yes, I don't think they look good together, and I really don't appreciate you assuming I'm mentally unsound. I'm treating you like an equal so I damn well expect to be treated the same. You disagree with me on a ship, fine go ahead that's your right, but I will not stand being talked down to. THAT pisses me off.
So please, just drop it. I'm trying to be amicable. Say whatever you want, continue with your story, I support that.
tied up with seaweed
-
1064128
I don't think you're actually mentally unsound; I'm just playing around, lmao.
1064160
Sorry, it's hard to tell over the internet.
1064159
And I'm half tempted to read just to see the context of that comment. Maybe later.
This fic surprised me. I kinda hope we might get to see more of what you can come up with concerning the other families. Perhaps in a separate story. I'm looking forward to the later chapters.
1064264
I have... ideas for the children of the other mane 6. Perhaps in the future.
NOW I WANT MORE
MUST RESIST THE D'AWWWWW
Very nice, Soarin'. Very nice.
1063554
Neither did I. Now, looking back, I'm thinking, did I even have a childhood?
1064037
Oh snap son! You just burned that mother like the Human Torch's pyrokinetic abilities, Superman's Heat vision, and Usher's song 'Burn.'
In fact...
1064275
If it doesn't involve a plot to destroy Equestria, going on an epic adventure to distant lands, time travel, dimension hppinh, OR being foal-napped by alien circus performers for an intergalactic 'freak-show' exhibit and their parents attempts to search for them in a highly experimental star ship, I'll quite frankly be disappointed sir!
I love this fic! I love father/son stories and having the son be Rainbow Blitz was genius.
---
Also, I don't understand all the hubbub about shipping. You do it or you don't, you like it or you don't, people are different, opinions will be different ... there's nothing to say. If everyone understood that (and it applies to practically everything) there would be no haters, flaming or arguments. That's why when you get upset over something and comment about it, all you're doing is making yourself look bad. The only reason I'm posting this is because it's important people realize this. C'mon, bronies! This is part of the `tolerance` portion of our slogan.
1064128
Just thought I'd mention that I always assume someone is playing around, not meaning to be rude. I never feel offended, even if they were being rude.
It's a win-win solution~
THIS IS GENIUS!!!!
1067126
No, my plots are generally more mundane than that. I like to make character development the main focus and make character interactions the part worth reading.
Maybe in the future I'll do an adventure of the sort, you never know.
1068105
Who says you can't do that with less mundane plots and premises?
1068166
I didn't say you couldn't, but I think it's really up to me to decide what I write.
1068105
No, seriously? Who says you can't!? I wanna drive over to the home of whoever says you can't and troll them as much as I can, because make no mistake; your story and the way you executed is REALLY good. Probably in my top five.
For a story to make my number 1 though, it'd have to combine good character development and character bits (like this story and my favorite pony-fic, 'Fluttershy's Bad Hare Day') with a unique, interesting, and unusual premise that lends itself to a lot of epic adventurous/dramatic moments (again, just like 'Fluttershy's Bad Hare Day').
If someone could make a story that's like yours AND properly blended it with epic adventure/drama...
I'd (both literally and figuratively) piss myself with glee. A story like that would probably restore my belief in the common human decency I think many bronies lack.
Ahhhh...a man dream...
1068195
Whoa. Touchy much?
On a more serious note, I think there's a communication mishap here.
I didn't mean what I said in the manner you're most likely thinking I meant it. I meant it on a more conceptual, not-referring-to-you-specifically level.
“What’s birth control?” Dear lord
THIS STORY HAS EXACTLY 0 DISLIKES.
...oh God.
03.images.fireden.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/IT_BEGINS3.png
1068258
No, maybe some writers don't appreciate people who make demands like that. You probably didn't mean it like that, but that rant you went into really made you sound like a backseat author. I personally enjoy slices of life like this more than over the top adventure fics, simply because the latter is done way too much and often out of laziness towards character development.
@MyOpinionIsSuperior I love this story; it is the ideal daily life fic. I especially like how both Blitz's parents desperately evade his intimate questions with bribes (this is the most realistic, even if it's bad parenting).
BACK TO THE STORY!
*Is too busy reading to comment*
I think 'Shy would have figured it out too.
1063411 it is the best way :P
this is so flippin cute!!!!well done
No pony likes to hear they are a mistake. The funny thing is, this story kinda mirrors two of my friends who are athletes. I am so going to ruin that child with knowledge.
1068105 You should totally do a fic where Rainbow has to save Soarin from the nymphomaniacal robot vampires from Planet X in the Kurzon Galaxy of Dimension 999, who are planning to transform Celestia into Molestia by hitting her with a sex ray.
And the Smooze shows up too. Because.
Well I am pleased to say that this story is freaking awesome.
Love it so far and I can't wait to finish the rest.
Rainbow Blitz is just too adorable
Everything's a freakin' spa emergency with Rarity; from a chipped nail to having fun by going around and stompin' in puddles.
And, of course, you just gotta love bribery
when i was young i would ask an akwerd question my parents would just tell me so i learned a lot at an early age nothen wrong with it except when you yell out things in the middle of wallmart
Bribery with food. That would work for me.
I really wish i could cry right.now
sir i love this story have
thats ten out of five