Tempest Poppins
by Present Perfect
Part 5: I Love to Laugh
Clean Sweep gawped at the massive, muscular mare who had appeared on her doorstep. She now understood why her butler had been unwilling to inform her of who had rung, opting instead to run screaming into the servants' quarters and lock the door behind him.
"May I come in?" asked the mare, her face stony and unyielding.
Clean Sweep gulped and remembered her manners. "P-please do..."
The mare hung her hat on the stand. Her expression never wavered.
"My name is Tempest Shadow. You must be Clean Sweep."
Clean nodded.
"Shall we begin?"
Slowly, Clean's apprehension gave way to a budding hope. "L-let's. My room's this way."
She led the mare through the house, up the sweeping central staircase to the second floor, and into the room at the end of the upper hallway.
"After you, madame," she said, possessing enough wherewithal at last to sound appropriately snooty.
"What a lovely house you have," said Tempest, trotting inside. "Large. Uncluttered."
Clean's ears drooped. Tempest merely looked at her, anticipating.
"I..." Clean Sweep looked away.
It takes a tremendous deal of effort for a little filly to gather confidence when faced with an intimidating adult. What Clean pulled off in that moment was nothing short of miraculous.
She lifted her head, straightened her shoulders, and looked Tempest right in the eyes. Then, in her most imperious voice, she said, "In my letter, I specifically asked for somepony who is practically perfect in every way."
Ephemeral confidence waning, she asked, "A-are you practically perfect in every way?" The last few words came out in a mumble.
Tempest leaned down until she was literally nose to nose with the cowering filly.
"Bitch, I'm flawless. Let's do this shit."
"More tea, Duchess Everworthy?"
"Delighted," said Tempest in her totally normal voice, waving the pony doll's forelimbs exaggeratedly. "And these scones are ever so wonderful."
"Oh yes," said Clean Sweep, aka Princess Poundcake. "Another scone for you, General Hightower?"
"I would love nothing more than another scone," said Tempest on her own behalf.
The scone passed to her and she took a huge bite out of it. It was lemon poppyseed. Tears of joy streamed down her face.
"I fucking love tea parties," she said, spraying crumbs everywhere.
I want this scene illustrated.
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As do I.
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Best chapter so far!
Headcannon firmly wedged into brain!
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Bitches love tea parties
I’d say this is what you would get with a mixture of Mary Poppins, Tiny Tina, and Vegeta from DBZA.
I love to laugh,
Loud and long and clear!
I love to laugh,
Isn't this filly a dear?
The more I laugh,
And scarf down cakes and tea,
This filly and me,
Are partying so merrily!
"I beat a man with his wooden leg named Smith"
"What was the name of his other leg?"
I have nothing clever to say to this. This is just fucking fantastic.
Best chapter. I love it.
What about her horn?
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FLAWLESS !!!
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A critical error has occurred, and the Moose needs to be restarted.
Please call your local support center for assistance if he can't get his act together.
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Does not prevent her from enjoying wondrous tea parties.
SO, this one turned to be... a Tempest in a tea party?
I'm almost wondering what would happen if Tempest had to go up against one hell of a butler.
It would be interesting to watch, at a safe distance.
This chapter is flawlessly bitchin'.
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She's flawless, you heathen!
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Ohmygods someone please please make a fanfic of this
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Side boob and side butt central!
Man, Tempest must really love lemon poppyseed scones!