Sunset Shimmer and Wallflower Blush have been together for a few months since their graduation from CHS. Since then, the invasion by the Storm King and his lieutenant Tempest Shadow came and went like a nasty tornado, leaving people- and their feelings- damaged.
Thankfully, Wallflower comes up with an unexpected-but-welcome idea to lift Sunset's spirits: a hike into parts unknown, in hopes of finding something to heal not only Tempest's eyes, but also her relationship.
Received an honorable mention in the Sunset Shipping Contest: Journeys Contest held by Oroboro.
Chapters (1)
Wow. You write inside Wallflower's head so well. It's heartbreaking. That constant feeling of "I don't matter" comes across disturbingly well. The first half of this is really hard reading but also compelling.
Sunset is a bit oblivious for most of the fic, a bit more chipper than I'd expect. Initially that can be somewhat excused by her recent hospitalisation and Wallflower removing a memory or two, and later on she admits she's noticed, but I still don't quite see why she'd not say anything for the rest of the day until the magical confrontation. Maybe she's just too focused on the prospect of healing Tempest.
You have a very striking style. The fragments and metaphors are powerful.
I really liked the moment halfway through where Tempest and Wallflower share a joke. I really like Tempest in this story all the way through, actually: soft-spoken but benevolent and a little bit mischievous.
One typo (edit: now fixed.)
Really good story! Best of luck in the contest!
...The Smartphone of Sacanas? What, did the Storm King steal it from him or something? Will Sacanas be wanting it back?
9162537
Thank you for the review (and typo callout!)
I'm a little confused here. This has an EqG tag, but at points it feels like a universe were EqG and regular universe are combined into one. Is it AU?
I should probably add that I really enjoyed this story, and props to you for choosing a disability for Tempest that hasn't already been used (to my knowledge at least).
9164733
In order to work Tempest Shadow into the EQG world, I imagined there being an event parallel to the Storm King's invasion from the film. I suppose it is AU then. For the purposes of this story, that stuff is a background detail, so I admittedly didn't think about too much.
Huh. This was some good stuff, but it feels like it's missing a few pieces. Tempest's nature and what precisely happened prior to this are left deeply muddled. The events of the movie don't map well onto the human world—did they zip-tie the principals? Is there a magical charging station in the middle of Celestia's office? Did the Humane Seven have to go to the Klugetown Juvenille Detention Center?—so it's hard to tell precisely what happened, how much Wallflower has cause to resejt Tempest, so on and so forth. Furthermore, I just don't follow the chain of logic that led Wallflower out of the mindscape. It feels like you skipped a few steps between "I don't know what I'm mad at" and "You know what you must do."
What's there is good, but you're showing me an incomplete puzzle. It's hard to enjoy the story when I'm spending more time trying to figure out what's going on. Still, thank you for what's there, and best of luck in the judging.
9163218
The human Storm King was actually Vignette Valencia with a voice changer.
9168654
....OF COURSE!
Is there a prequel to this? Im lost...
9172836
There is no prequel, this story is standalone, although it does take place an undetermined time after Forgotten Friendship. Apart from key details that run parallel to the movie in terms of the characterization of Tempest (attacked the heroes as a means of fixing herself, redeemed by the end of the conflict), and Sunset getting hurt, the actual events of the conflict are just in the background.
Thanks for reading!
Okay, you'd better write the story that comes before this. And you'd better tell me when you do. >:B
Oh goodness, this is incredible