- Member Since 1st Nov, 2016
- offline last seen Monday
midnightwolfGX
Just a regular brony who likes to write about how I envision MLP, if I wrote it. If you dislike my stories, please tell me why; I'm always willing to improve my writing.
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Sounds like a very harsh life, but I'm sure Luna could help. Had to think of Abstraction as I read his name.
good, that probably means we don't have the reserve role thing happening this time.
Well I decited to give this still a chance after I noticed the chapter was short enough.
It's not that I dislike the idea and even if the "he is so sad" was nearly a bit to much at one little point in the chapter, I already like him.
I decited I have no choice but to try to see where this actually goes since I couldn't describe exactly what I expect is maybe going to happen in their relationship.
I guess as long as Luna is respecting him and not is the one who decite what they do and stuff all the time alone it won't feel to bad.
To many bad examples with princess x commoner stories.
I don't know if I change my mind, but I still wait for one story who does the romance in a way, where not both are in love with each other right away or directly in the moment when one of them is confessing their love.
I more or less want a "okay we can try it and see where it leads us, but I don't love you yet" kind of reaction for once.
9118192
Thanks for your thoughts! I get that the setup might not be perfect, but I do plan to give this fic some good substance.
9118095
Thanks! And yes, Luna will be of great help to him. And you're right; the names are pretty similar!
9118238
Ishn't his situation familar to Klye too? Pretty sure he and Aversion would understand each other.
9118247
Yep, he would. And in fact... he just might at some point...
9118318
I'm really getting excited for when Aversion and Luna finally meet.
9122493
I guarantee it will be a big moment for the story, and a big turning point in Aversion's life!
Intrigued
This is an interesting story so far. I'm guessing it takes place before the season 6 finale?
9122733
I applaud your intrigue!
9122788
I'd say it does. Tbh, I'm not a big fan of the new changeling designs, which is why it would happen before then. However, the ending will DEFINITELY be non-canon, obviously.
I liked that, his reasoning is not perfect, but i take it since it'S the closest to a character telling either Celestia, Twilight or someone else that they are not perfect.
I just like those moments, but it's better if it makes somehow sense too.
Well this story and the meeting between Luna and him can turn out amazing, but it could turn out bad too, so far you do a great job with Solus was it? with his parts (or was his name aversion?) I guess just make sure they treat each other as equals or that is what Luna wants since our main guy here is probably pretty skittish at the beginning.
9122872
To be honest, a part of me wants you just doing things differently, write that the changelings transformed, but a part that either stayed with Chrysalis or escaped, did just choose not to transform.
I didn't really liked the new design or mostly I could never get used to Thoras design, he looks like a big bug reindeer. They ruined a bit one of my "nearly" favourites.
NOt sure how to explain it, but I got a bit tired of the "the one that is doing all the amazing things or who finds out that there is a greater life for the changelings, is the one who has to transform", destinies.
I would have liked it if Thorax did what he did and a changelings six meters to his right transformed into the new king or queen, or no one till Chrysalis get's turned around.
It would have been better if he revealed a new ruler instead of being the one himself.
I really prefer the bacl Changelings too.
I guess I only wanted you to know that I would probably love it if you just change the parts that happen in the show and maybe foil their "changeling transformation plans" in your story a bit. (Can I say it like that?, I needed to use the translator for a second.)
9123481
Yeah. One thing I've wanted the show to do, that it sadly has not ever done, is teach the intended viewers (little girls) that friendship does not magically make problems go away, and it does not always work out with everyone living happily ever after. They need to understand from a young age that such a concept is simply not the reality of how the real world works.
And just to avoid confusion, Aversion is the protagonist earth pony stallion, and Scolus is the changeling.
9123490
). Personally, I don't mind Thorax being the leader/king of the hive, since I'm sure the other changelings would find it admirable that he took the first step in hopes of achieving peace with the ponies. I feel it would teach the viewer that, it does not matter how they look, but rather how they think and act. It would've, in my opinion, worked far better from a moral standpoint if the changelings still had their "default" black insectoid appearance.
I agree with you on a few points. I think the changelings should've stayed the way they were (they made Thorax look like some bucking moose-bug!
9123955
ahhh okay, for some reason I remembered Solus and Scolus and then Aversion, yep I wasn't sure about which named belongt to who for a short while anymore.
9123958
I agree, I maybe would even be okay with Thorax being the king if they stayed like that, to be honest I think I was even confused for a second that Thorax was a complete uhhhmmm wimp after he changed, not sure how he acted when he was still black right now. Wimp was just the first thing that came to my mind, it wasn't that bad, but I had no better word.
I still like him if I'm honest but he is a bit ugly, his brother looked more or less the best and now Occelus in the new look.
Nice Work! Guess scolos is a Alternative throrax.
9125446
Yeah. Given that Thorax is known for being Spike's friend, I figured I should have a different changeling OC, because I feel that not all the changelings were bad, and some were more like Thorax. Plus, I like to think that Scolus and Thorax did know each other at one point in this non-canon universe, and they got along pretty good.
9125992
Wonderful idea!
Aww, well done, Luna! So she is his surrogate mother?
Hhhmmmm I thought at least his home was nice, maybe it should not everything be bad for him, otherwise he will start to look like how is it called again?.....Mary sue, istn'T that what happens for one of them?, that everything is and was bad in their past?
HHHHHHHhhhhhhmmmm, that might be one of the first dream scenes I "really" liked again. I mean I'M not excited right now, but mostly because I expected something worse, but it's pretty much alright.
Is he a little colt in his dream now?, This was funny but I also really liked it.
I'm not sure yet if I want to have something demon like in Aversion, but it was a nice chapter. It can be pretty interessting, but often enough I feel like it's one thing more than the story needed. As if we would have the best comedy story or something else ever and they try to put a fight for life and death on top of that, if you know what I try to explain.
9131389
Considering the romance tag, I doubt that.
9131504
But it could be in this dream.
9131508
Yeah, it is in the dream.
Awesome!
9131446
Glad you liked it! Yeah, for the time being, it will not be the focal point of the story, but it is something that is a major contributing factor to Aversion's psychology.
9131591
9131508
Yes, it is in the dream only, since Aversion is, of course, a young adult stallion in real life.
9131629
Thank you!
9131666
Yeah, still you make it look like she's a surrogte mother to hum and did well.
9131667
Your welcome
Don't you Cry, we are all here for you and so is Luna. I guess his Crush was just Surprised, she isn't mean.
Just to Point it out
Pleased
I wasn'T sure what to say at first, but I guess since she probably knows how he has to feel, she should have solved the situation better.
Maybe I was reading to fast, but is she reading his mind? Normally this would be something I dislike, since he doesn't knows about it and stuff, but it feels okay here.
Couldn't she teleport him?
Well it was nice enough, but I admit I was reading a bit fast again this time.
She let him down hard....also, how in Equestria's name is Star Buck able to treat him like that? Does she do that with everypony who works there
9143293
Thanks for pointing that out for me!
9143652
Your welcome.
9143306
I like to think that maybe Aversion was just talking to himself about planning his own suicide. Also, it will be explained in the story as to why Luna can't teleport him from a long distance.
I'm glad you like it, and thanks for following, as always!
9143623
Sadly, there are some bosses who like to play favorites. I imagine Star Buck is one of them, especially since baristas sometimes face these types of individuals.
9143654
I planned to answer a different comment, but I wanted to make sure I understood which translation for "needy" was used here.
I understood the "he needs help all the time" meaning was the right one, but I noticed there is the more sexual translation for this too.
I wasn't so sure about this word anymore and wanted to make sure I translated it right, rarely I still have those words that still are a bit of a problem.
While I understood her a tiny bit, I thought that she probably knows how little self-assurance he has and how bad he is treated. Because of that I think she was rather mean and probably even more mean if she meant the sexual translation, which for now I don't believe.
I don't want to argue with the other guy to much, but I was curious why he thought Aversion was needy. So far he is only wishing for something good to happen and if everyone is mean to him and keeps him little or how you say it (keeping him in a situation where he can't change or get better), then I don't think he is to blame.
Well okay he wasn't nice or whatever you want to call it as well like Luna said it, but he had it bad and I still think she maybe should know it already.
AWESOME!
9143681
Thanks! I appreciate your enthusiasm!
9143668
Keep in mind, this isn't the first time it's happened to Aversion. He has never been accepted by a mare in his life. Plus, his life in the trenches has only made him even more depressed. How else was he supposed to react?
9143697
thanks
9143778
Of course Suncrest was free to make her own choice. Aversion even acknowledged this. But are you claiming Aversion has no right to feel upset about his place in life?
9143778
Yeah well i don't think that he is going to kill himself for not having a girlfriend, if you watched everything, then I think it should be clear that the problem for him is deeper and something pyschological and that is not always easy to handle.
edit: as far as I have seen it, the story/ Luna only says she could have acted differently and with more care I guess. No one is suggesting she couldn't have said no. I personally felt as if she blamed him for things he hasn't really done or what he doesn't meant to be, she could have been more carefull about it I suppose.
No, I think she was angry about how he was rejected, at least I remember that she said something that made it more obvious that she had such a thought.
I think it was something like "how could she".....okay, at least she could have been nicer about it"
Well I don't think he is at least going to be a complete asshole when he was bullied like that.
9143778
Also, keep in mind, Suncrest rejecting him was not the lone reason he considered suicide. He is poor, barely able to pay for the cost of living in Ponyville, he is harassed and bullied by his boss and coworkers, and has been experiencing this since childhood, and... something happened to his mother, which will be explained.
His life is really at a very low point, and to him, there is no sign of it getting better soon. He just wants somepony who really cares about him to help him feel better.